Engraven

by Lila Felix

  Another squeeze.

  We went back to the cottage and I looked around while he insisted on gathering everything but my stuff together and packing it into the car. I insisted on packing that up myself.

  Before long, we were back at my house, his car stalling in the driveway, neither of us wanting to part, but knowing we had to.

  We were elongating the inevitable.

  “I’ve got to go.”

  He reached over the seats and ran his hand along my hip. “But you have this now.”

  “And you have one as well.”

  He chuckled, but punched the steering wheel. “It doesn’t make this any easier. I hoped like hell it would.”

  “Tell me when I get to see you again.”

  “Tomorrow night is the clan run. We run together.”

  I shuddered at the thought. “Do you run with your clan?”

  “Of course. It builds community. We bond with our brothers and sisters as bears easier—just like mates bond easier in their animal form.”

  “Then I’ll go. It doesn’t mean I’m like indoctrinated into the clan, does it?”

  He rolled his eyes. “No, silly. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Or—maybe later?”

  I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Later. I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

  When I looked back to the car, halfway to the house, he was backing out of the driveway with a smile mile-wide.

  Tarrow

  My mate drives me insane—even when she’s not around.

  I kept picturing her in my mind, sleeping with her out of control hair spilling out over the pillows.

  And the little noises she made when she turned over or scooted closer to me—madness, I tell you.

  “I don’t want to walk outside my back door and smell panther piss. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Leave it to the Alpha to give us some comedic relief.

  The meeting was going nowhere fast. Either way, we were about to be up close and personal with panthers and cougars and mountain lions galore.

  Not the best scenario.

  “What if we purchase the land, build some houses on it and rent them?”

  Pine was trying desperately to solve this at a financial advantage to the clan, but the Alpha didn’t care which way it went down, just as long as the felines were kept where they were.

  I wasn’t speaking up because I already had the answer. The land was going up at auction, along with Dahlia’s house, and because it was a foreclosure, it would go dirt cheap. My credit was damn near perfect. It would put us in debt up to our eyeballs, but I’d never shied away from extra work—especially if it meant she’d get her house back and then the clan would be happy.

  “Tarrow, are you going to give us any input at all or are you going to stare into space all day? A decision needs to be made here.”

  I addressed the Alpha since Rev was pissing me off to no end. “If the clan purchases the land, I will purchase half for myself. That way we would own the land, the clan wouldn’t lose all of the money, and we’d have me as security in case we needed it. Dahlia’s family can have their house back if they need it and I’ll have land to build my own home.”

  The Alpha leaned back in his chair and The Coeur consoled him with her hand on his shoulder. They shared some secret conversation by eye contact only.

  “Tarrow, I’m sorry. The parish is tearing the house down in order to sell the land only. They said the house is worthless. Your mate’s family will be given the notice to vacate in the next ten days. Even if we buy the property—it’s the land only—the house will be gone.”

  “Their family lives there. How can it be worthless?”

  “Because tax assessors and realtors don’t give a damn about sentimentality.”

  “So let’s just catch them up on their mortgage. Hell, I’ll give them the money myself.” I’d perched on the edge of the chair for effect.

  “And what’s going to happen in three more months, Tarrow? Vidalia can’t work enough to pay the mortgage and according to her, Clint hasn’t sold a painting in over a year. He’s been storing them so the girls didn’t know they weren’t being sold. He’s got medical bills stacking up. The best place for them is here—where we can help them on a long-term basis.”

  Leaning forward, I clunked my head on the Alpha’s desk. “I have to tell my mate that her house will be torn down and we are buying the land from under them.”

  It wasn’t a question, because according to the people around me, the deal was settled—it was simply a matter of semantics—semantics that didn’t need an effing meeting to figure out.

  “We are doing the best we can to secure our people and also keep afloat financially, Tarrow.”

  I huffed. “It’s not personal, it’s business, right?”

  The Alpha looked away. “Something like that. You’re not the only one struggling with this, Tarrow.”

  Forgetting my place—or maybe just not caring, I pointed at the Alpha and accused. “But I’m the one who has to look her in the eye and tell her she’s screwed, don’t I? Must be a Beta job.”

  It wasn’t until I’d gotten out the front door and into the crisp, oncoming winter air that I realized the treachery in my words.

  My life would be spent apologizing—that was my curse.

  “How dare you speak to the Alpha in that manner.” Rev was behind me barking, but the last person in the world I wanted to deal with was him.

  “Just one more thing to add to your list, right?”

  “List?”

  “Yeah, the list of shit I do wrong.”

  I bolted from the scene, stomping toward my house. I scared my mom slamming the door and had to apologize to her on the way through the living room.

  I must’ve paced the floors for a full hour before deciding to strike while I was on a roll. I might as well piss off everyone at the same time and count the whole day one big mistake.

  “Hello?” Dahlia sounded calm and it instantly calmed me—a little.

  “Hey. It’s me.”

  “How did the meeting go? Should I worry about a she-panther prowling around you?”

  “It was a meeting. It was all business. Tell me about you. How’s your dad?”

  “He’s okay. I think whatever medicine they’re giving him is making him up and down with his moods. He’s not eating much either. My mom said he was really upset about moving to the clan lands, but when she told him it was either clan or homeless—he changed his tune. I’m not saying he’s happy about it, but he’ll have to deal with it. The girls have started packing and getting rid of some junk. We have a lot of crap in our house. I never noticed until we had to think about transporting it.”

  Something had changed with us in the last days. She spoke to me freely.

  And, in turn, she deserved for me to speak to her freely.

  “There’s something I need to tell you, but I don’t want to say it over the phone.”

  “Something bad?”

  It wasn’t in me to lie to her.

  “Something bad and good.”

  ‘”Sure. Mom is taking a nap and Dad is attempting to paint. He’s not going to chop your head off if you come to the house, Tarrow. I spoke to him this morning. You’ll have to grow on him because I’m not giving you up.”

  Which made my news even shittier.

  “I’m on my way. Do you need anything?”

  “Hold on.” I heard her ask someone in the background if they needed anything. “You’re going to be sorry you asked. Mom hasn’t gotten to the grocery store in days. I was attempting to make a trip before you came.”

  She didn’t know what an honor it would be to be able to provide something for her family.

  She had no idea.

  “Text me the list and I’ll go wherever I need to.”

  “Are you sure?”

  My growl answered her question.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll text you the list. Jeez.”

  We hung up and I waited for the list before
getting in the car. She needed the regular stuff, milk, bread, eggs, and some cinnamon cereal.

  The only thing on the list I couldn’t pick up from the store was Acacia’s mate.

  That she would have to shop for on her own.

  “Mom, I’m running to the grocery store and then to Dahlia’s.”

  “Okay. You go on. I’m getting everything ready for them. I want this house to be spotless.”

  I kissed her temple and squeezed her tight. “Mom, don’t hurt yourself. The house is fine. I’ll help you when I get home.”

  “No you won’t. You’ve got security runs tonight. Rev dropped the schedule yesterday while you two were…you know.”

  My mom blushed.

  And I ran out as soon as possible.

  I told my mother everything, but there was a clear line.

  Not only did I buy the things on the list, I bought more than was on the list. I’d noticed they were running low on several more things the day before as I’d made pancakes, so I picked up enough to get them by for a couple of days.

  When I got there, all of the girls, down to the tiniest Briar, ran out and each grabbed a bag.

  “Tarrow! I asked for seven items. This is too much.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I kissed her right there in front of her sisters, in the middle of her kitchen.

  We were serenaded by a balance of ‘awwws’ and ‘ewwws’. I’d never know who made what sound.

  “He bought chocolate milk!!!” One of the littlest girls squealed. I couldn’t remember her name.

  “Now you’ve done it. Every time you come over, they’re going to expect chocolate milk. My mom doesn’t buy it. She says it’s junk milk.”

  I cringed. “Sorry. But when they live at my house, there’s a constant supply of chocolate milk. I’m a growing boy.”

  It was my mate’s turn to blush.

  “You forgot something.” Acacia threw her hands in the air.

  “I’ll run back to the store. What is it?”

  “My mate.”

  A cackle came from Dahlia.

  “You know, all they had were jerks left. Said they’d be back in stock with the good guys soon.”

  “Damn it.”

  “Ooooohhhh….Cia cussed, Lia.”

  I knew she was hoping I hadn’t caught that nickname.

  “Yeah, Lia, she cussed. Cussing is bad, right?” I asked the little one.

  “The only cuss we can say is cuss like The Fantastic Mr. Fox.”

  “What’s that?” I asked Dahlia.

  “You’ve never seen it? Come on. You’re missing out!” Before I knew what was happening, I was being led by the pinkie finger into the living room and was surrounded by tiny females.

  It wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

  Two hours later, it still wasn’t all that bad even though I’d been used as a human tissue and there was more chocolate milk on my shirt than remaining in the gallon.

  I would consider it practice.

  Plus, I’d never had many siblings, so it was kind of fun—kind of.

  “Okay, time for bed. We’ve ruined Tarrow enough for the night.”

  She corralled the girls upstairs and just when I thought she’d come back down, her father came back into the room.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to speak to Dahlia and deliver groceries.”

  “Oh, so we’re your charity case now? What next? You’ll feed us, give us a home, and then expect us to bow down to your Alpha?”

  “I’m just trying to do right by the family of the female I love. That’s all. Take it or leave it.”

  There was such a thing as respect. I had it for most people and certainly my mom would’ve torn my butt up for not showing an older person respect.

  But there was a big difference between showing respect and letting someone run over you.

  I let enough people run over me without Dahlia’s father chiming in.

  “I’ll leave it. Thank you. But I don’t really have a choice, do I? I’m worthless now anyway. You people just do what you want to.”

  “Clint!” Vidalia appeared at the top of the stairs just in time.

  “The boy needs to hear some truth.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Sir. I’m just trying to…”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah…help.”

  Vidalia came down the stairs and walked back up them with Clint in tow. I knew firsthand that people changed with pain and medications. It wasn’t their fault and it certainly wasn’t in their control.

  The greatest love was the kind you gave even when the other person constantly rejected it.

  “They’re all in bed and Mom and Dad have gone to sleep. Do you want to go outside and talk now?”

  “Sure.”

  We sat outside in the chairs we’d sat in before. From her gait, I figured aside from our talk on these very chairs, that many talks had been had here.

  “Just tell me the truth. We got a notice than we have to be out in ten days. Mom can’t really hide that stuff from us anymore.”

  “The clan is going to buy the land your house is on—this whole piece of property.”

  “Really?”

  Creator help me. I was about to extinguish that glimmer of hope in her eyes.

  “I’m going to buy half of it to build us a house.”

  She waved me off. “We can just live in this house.”

  I sighed and wished for a different scenario. One that wouldn’t break her heart.

  “They say this house is unlivable. You got the notice because they’re going to tear the house down and then sell off the property piece by piece. We are going to try to buy all of it at once and then keep it, except what I’m going to purchase…”

  “But the house will be gone.”

  “I’m sorry, Dahlia. There’s nothing I can do. Something may change. This is all working off gossip and speculation from the felines. One of them has been giving us information.”

  “In exchange for what?”

  “Money. All felines can be bought. It’s a fact.”

  There was no denying the sadness in her eyes.

  “I know it doesn’t change anything, but I can build our house right here. Any way you want it. We’ll be far enough away from the clan to have a little more freedom, but close enough to stay protected. I thought this might be the way you could be happy. If you don’t want me to buy it, I won’t.”

  She got up from her chair and hurled herself onto my lap sideways, nuzzling into my neck.

  “If I asked you to move to South America, would you?”

  “I’d go anywhere with you.”

  Her breaths were labored as she attempted to steady them. I ran my hands up and down her arms and back, trying my damndest to help.

  “I love that you can be so steady when I’m so shaky.”

  I loved that she’d just said she loved anything about me.

  “I guess we were going to have to leave one way or another. It was just a matter of time.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know you love this home.”

  She pulled back with an idea in her eyes. “Can I help you design the new house?”

  “It’s your house. Of course you can.”

  “But you’re buying it with your money.”

  I wanted to slap myself in the forehead, hoping my bear would relay it to her bear. She was being ridiculous.

  “The moment you became my mate, everything I own, including myself, became yours.”

  She shifted and stroked my incoming facial hair again. “I guess we’ll be living a lot closer in ten days. And then everything will be settled.”

  “I’ll be glad when you’re settled.”

  “And then how soon can we be mated?”

  Swallowing against the sudden lump in my throat, I could barely answer. “As soon as you’d like.”

  “Two weeks.”

  “Two weeks from today?”

  “No. Two weeks from the day we move into you
r house.”

  “Twenty-four days.”

  She agreed and then yawned. The stress was exhausting her—the passed on feeling from her to me was practically making me fall asleep beside her.

  “You’re exhausted, Dahlia. And to tell you the truth, I’m exhausted. And I’ve got some apologizing to do to the Alpha. I blew my fuse at the meeting. Shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he demoted me.”

  “You blew your fuse? I didn’t even know you had one. You’ve never gotten angry, not even close.”

  “Well, they were wronging my mate—or so I thought. I think I just took it out on them when really they couldn’t change the circumstances even if they wanted to.”

  “About me? The house?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, you go make your apologies and I’ll go get some sleep. Can you text me when you get home? Let me know you’re okay?”

  I tried like hell to tamper down my surprise. I really did.

  “Don’t look so surprised, Tarrow Rivers. I’m trying here.”

  “I’m sorry. You’re doing great. We’ll learn together.”

  “Goodnight, Tarrow.” She treated me to one long, slow kiss that made me question whether or not I could drive home.

  “Goodnight.”

  I knocked on the Alpha’s door at seven. He’d made a rule that unless it was an emergency or a scheduled meeting, we couldn’t knock on the door after eleven or before seven. That way, he and Echo were guaranteed eight hours of sleep.

  “Tarrow, come in. I’m making breakfast. Come, join us.”

  The Alpha was entirely too perky for that early and given the fact that I’d insulted him the day before.

  He was playing with my mind. I could just feel it.

  “Alpha, I don’t feel like I should enter your home until I apologize for my behavior last night. It was uncalled for and completely disrespectful.”

  “Oh, Tarrow, get in here. He’s making biscuits. Entertaining doesn’t even cover it.”

  The Coeur spoke to me from inside the house.

  Though I’d been given permission from her, I bared my neck to our leader and silently begged for his as well.

  “Come in, Tarrow. You’ve been forgiven since last night. I’ll tell you why over my sad as hell biscuits. Echo is sitting right next to me in the kitchen and I still can’t get them right.”

  He meant it. I had been pardoned.