by Lila Felix
“I’m sorry. I’m trying.”
“You’re not trying. You’re gone all the time. You don’t help with the girls at night because you’re running around with him. It’s fine. I get it. I just wish my mate would show up at the front door so I could have a good excuse to bail out on my family too.”
I couldn’t win. If I stayed here all the time helping out, I’d lose Tarrow. If I stayed with Tarrow all the time, I’d lose Acacia.
There was no way for me to decide.
Not that there was a decision. My life was with Tarrow. I was doing all I could for the family, at the cost of my mate.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
“It’s hard now. But when school starts back up and everyone is unpacked, it will be fine. I know it’s rough. I’m sorry. You can think what you want to about me, but I’m doing my best.”
“Yeah. Whatever. You weren’t here this morning when Dad was ranting about being on clan lands. He was all ‘We can live here until the end of time, but I’m never drinking their Kool-Aid.’. It’s like that medicine has made everything worse. And what were you doing while I was watching it all go down? Making out with your mate—or more?”
Acacia and I were those sisters. We fought with each other, but when it came down to it, we’d apologize and then move on like nothing ever happened. She’d accused me of being selfish before, of course. I was in the swamp running when I should’ve been helping her clean our room or cook dinner. I’d be lying in the floor watching Dad paint when I should’ve been watching the girls outside.
It never ended.
I guessed that in some ways I was selfish.
“There’s not more, Acacia. I can’t believe you’d think that of me.” The words floated in the air between us.
“I don’t. I’m just frustrated. This is all just wrong. We are supposed to be at our house with just the regular things going on. It’s like we’ve all just been uprooted and we don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I took her hand in mine and laid on her shoulder, watching as Daisy and Briar played the ‘I’m not touching you’ form of sibling torture.
“Mom and Dad went for a walk. Bonnie is cooking again. She cooks a lot.”
“Let’s take the girls outside. They need fresh air. Maybe let their bears roam.”
“They haven’t had a run in a while. I guess it’s time.”
She sounded the opposite of excited.
We rounded up the girls and took them outside. Daisy and Briar shred their clothes right there, not caring who was around. The joy of being a kid.
The rest of the girls roamed around but didn’t really leave the edge of the house.
“Did y’all ever get a proper tour of the clan lands? I know someone who gives a really good tour.”
“Of course. The boyfriend.”
“He’s my mate. Let me call him. There’s a lot more than this house.” I got on the phone and Tarrow’s job had ended early because of the impending rain that afternoon. He said he would be there soon, so we watched for him while the littlest cubs ran around and climbed in the trees.
“So this must be the family I’ve heard so much about. I’m Martha. Now which one of you is Dahlia?”
A woman spoke as she rounded the corner of the house. She was like a character that stepped out of one of those perfect housewife sitcoms. She carried a yellow cake in her hands that perfectly matched her dress and the headband in her hair. She was like an effing walking ray of sunshine.
“She is.” Acacia pointed at me.
“Well, it’s so nice to meet you, Dahlia. I’m Rev’s mate.”
There had to be more than one Rev in this clan. This walking happy pill couldn’t be his mate.
“Rev, as in Beta Rev?”
She smiled and put the cake on a small table outside the back door. “That’s the one. He’s a brooding one. Don’t pay him any attention—I don’t.”
Bonnie came to the door and retrieved the cake. That woman—I swore sometimes she had telepathy.
“Have you girls seen the land? I’d love to give you a proper tour.”
All these people—telepathic.
“Tarrow is coming to give us a tour. We just realized this morning that the little ones haven’t seen it.”
“Well, you know there’s a playground on the other side, right? How about I take the little ones over there and you can take the grown-up tour?”
Briar and Daisy ran over to her and nearly knocked her over.
“I guess that’s okay.” I answered and got a glare from Acacia.
You could take the rebel to the clan, but you couldn’t take the rebel out of the girl.
“They’re fine. Nothing will happen to them. You need a break, anyway.”
Briar and Daisy went along first, and then the rest of the girls except Acacia decided to join them. I was sure that Martha was a lot more fun than us.
We started the tour on our own. It wasn’t like we were going to get lost. I pointed out the houses we knew, including the Alpha’s—Acacia asked if she had to bow in front of him.
Those were the sort of things that we were so confused about.
“No. There’s no bowing, though you might feel the need to bare your neck.”
“Why? Is he going to give me a hickey?”
“What? No. It’s just—the others do it as a sign of respect. It’s like you can feel the power in him. It’s weird.”
Then my sister reverted to doing the cough thing saying ‘Drank the Kool-Aid.’
The idiot.
“I hope my mate doesn’t stare like a stalker.” She nodded to my left and sure enough Tarrow was talking to that Rev guy, but his gaze was tracking my every move. I didn’t know what they were talking about from our distance, but the heat in my chest from him wasn’t a good one.
Not being able to help myself, Acacia and I crept closer.
“I told you that I would. What’s the problem?” Tarrow was pissed off. Our hearts were frantic.
“Your priorities have changed of late—I’m just reminding you of the importance of your job.”
“I know the importance of all of my jobs.”
Rev got in his face. “So why are you living in my house? You could’ve rented the Bergeron’s house or gotten an apartment. You go from your mom’s house to mine. Grow up.”
I didn’t know much about clan hierarchy and whether or not Rev was bigger and badder in terms of betas and alphas or whatever. But I knew my mate wasn’t arguing with him anymore and I wanted to slice the bastard in half.
“Tarrow, you don’t have to take that.”
I spoke before thinking—again.
Rev chuckled at my statement but the males never let up on their death stares.
“See what I mean? Having your mate fight your battles.”
“I didn’t realize there was a battle here, Beta. I was obeying orders and you won’t stop crawling down my throat for five seconds to listen to my words. I will be there.”
“Calm your female down. She’s got laundry to do.”
And for the first time, but I doubted the last time, I watched my mate knock someone onto the ground with one punch.
Tarrow
I wouldn’t be a Beta after this meeting. I was sure of it. The thing was—I didn’t know if I was happy about it or not.
Lately, I’d been seeing Dahlia’s way of things—and adopting a liking to them. She was right. As long as we kept under the radar somewhere else, in terms of not shouting out to the masses that we were bear shifters, then we’d be okay—and free.
I’d been talking to a realtor about the house we stayed in for our marking. It was going for a cheap price since the seller had it on the market for so long. She was ready to have it off her hands. In fact, it was so cheap, I could give her half in cash and still have tons in the bank.
But now Dahlia’s family was here on clan lands.
I didn’t know which way was up.
Yet, every way seemed t
o lead to hell.
“Are we getting kicked out?” Dahlia asked. She was kicking her legs off the side of the bed. I was pacing.
“Out of the clan, no. Out of being a Beta—I might.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I sat next to her and took her hand. “It was just a kettle on a burner, sweetheart. One day it was bound to boil over. I will say, I’ve punched more people since being mated than I ever have in my life.”
“Who else did you punch?”
“Same guy.’
“For what?”
I remembered clearly, but she didn’t need any more worry put on her plate.
“It doesn’t matter. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“He’s rude. I told him that today.”
“Someone needs to. He’s been riding my ass since Hawke first took over. I used to be kind of annoying, talked a lot of shit. But I changed that. Becoming a Beta meant the world to me.”
She said nothing.
“How many days until our mating ceremony?”
At least I had that to put a smile on my mate’s face. “Fifteen.”
“Seems like a lifetime away.”
“My dad went on a tirade today and my sister accused me of being selfish.”
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her closer. The guilt practically poured out of her.
“Your dad is on a lot of new medication. They said those effects will wear off over time, right?”
She shrugged, but I’d heard my mom and Vidalia talking about it.
“And your sister, she’s almost as old as you. It can’t be easy for her to see you find your mate and begin a new life that doesn’t directly include her. I can only imagine. I remember being around when Hawke and Rev got mated. It was like they had better things to do.”
She giggled. “They did.”
“Oh, you! At least I’m not the only one thinking about it.”
I got punched in the gut for that one.
“When is the meeting?”
“Tonight. Eight o’clock.”
“Can I come?”
“You can come anywhere I am. You don’t even have to ask.”
Flopping back on the bed, she breathed deeply. I couldn’t imagine there could be a more complicated mating than this. “Hey, we’ve got like two hours before the meeting. I have an idea of what we can do.”
There was a lilt in her voice, but I decided to play with her a little—before playing with her a lot.
“We can go eat or whatever you want. Shopping? You only have about five hundred scarves. You might need more.”
She grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me down with her.
“What?”
Before I could breathe again, her long fingers were on the buttons of my shirt. My heart pounded, counting the buttons one by one as she undid them.
“Don’t you crave this? Her fingernail glided down my chest and over my abs.
“Absolutely. But I thought it was just a male thing.”
She clicked her tongue against the top of her mouth. “Shame on you. You’re the one always telling me to defer to my bear for things like this.”
Closing my eyes I followed her indirect instructions, listening to my animal and paying attention to my mate’s at the same time. I was a fool. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
Always.
The mutual desire had me reeling. I turned on her and hovered above her chest, heaving just like mine was.
“I know you love me in there somewhere.” I didn’t expect a response, but I got a nod. “I know you want me. I know you’re just as eager as me to finally be mated.”
Her body wriggled underneath me, her hips teasing mine with a whisper touch. With one finger she traced the contours of my face down to my lips. She took so long with her perusal that by the time she was done, I was too.
Touching my lips to hers feather-light at first, I teased her lower lip with my tongue. She I tasted like summer when the honeysuckle bloomed.
I pulled away for a moment, just wanting to look at her.
“What?” She cocked her head to the side and tried to pull my face closer.
“You’re incredible. I couldn’t have hoped for anything more.”
She sighed and I chuckled at her uncomfortableness. One day I would get her to talk to me from her heart, but until then, I’d talk for her heart and mine.
“It’s okay. I’ll say the words. Your job is to show me.”
“Then get down here.”
~~
This was it. All the security runs. All the nights of no sleep. All the meetings and the putting the clan before myself.
Over—because I couldn’t control my anger.
“This isn’t the first time. You know that, Alpha.”
Rev—always the first to point out the obvious—sometimes the painfully obvious.
Martha sighed and looked out the window while Echo teetered on the verge of crying.
Everyone was at a standstill for what seemed like the rest of the year. If they were going to demote me or ex-communicate me from the clan they needed to get on with it.
There was a chance this was all for the best—for my mate. I knew she didn’t want to be in this clan or on these lands any more than she needed to.
And I was beginning to agree with her position.
“Are you stripping me of my title?” I finally blurted out.
“Violence against your brothers is not tolerated, Tarrow. You know this.” The Alpha spoke a truth I already knew, but never imagined I’d be subject to its justice.
“But bullying is?” Every eye focused on Dahlia as she spoke for the first time. She’d insisted on sitting behind me, still not feeling comfortable.
“Who is the bully? Rev choked on his laugh.
“You. I’ve heard the way you chastise and criticize Tarrow even though he’s done nothing to deserve it. He is the first to volunteer anytime one of your slackers needs the time off to do things they’re not supposed to be doing. He doesn’t rat them out, he just steps up and does what needs to be done. And you’re the first to remind him of it as though he’s the slacker. Plus, there was that little machismo comment you made to me yesterday.”
Martha whipped her head around and zeroed in on Rev. “What comment?”
He smirked. “I made no such comment.”
Martha clearly didn’t believe him.
“I’m going to speak to my mate outside for a moment. Is that okay, Alpha?”
Hawke was barely containing a grin. “Of course. Make it quick, please. I’m sure this new mated couple has better things to do. Whatever is going to happen here needs to be done with tonight.”
Thank the Creator for small favors.
When they left the room, there was no question as to who was getting ripped. There was no male voice in argument only grunting and agreeing. Martha went on and on and her tone wasn’t pleasant.
At least someone in this place could put Rev in his place.
They came back in shortly afterward and Rev looked like a puppy that had been disciplined.
“Tell everyone in this room exactly what you said to her.”
He gave Martha a look that I interpreted as ‘Come on Mom!’
“I didn’t say anything to her directly. I told Root—Tarrow to calm his female down because she had laundry to do.”
Martha looked out the window while Echo thumped her head on the wall behind her.
“It wasn’t a putting down female comment. I’d seen her earlier carrying a big basket of laundry by herself. That’s all I meant.”
“Convenient.” Martha tsked. “And I think we’ve all been audience to you overstepping your bounds in correcting Tarrow. Am I wrong?”
The Alpha leaned back in his brown leather desk chair. I’d seen him lean back so far once that he fell out of it. I swore to never tell anyone ever again, if he kept his mouth shut about the European swimsuit incident. Martha was in charge at this me
eting and the Alpha was allowing it. After all, every male has their master, and Martha was Rev’s.
“Look…” Rev leaned forward and addressed me. “I’m hard on you because I see a lot of me in you and without my father’s strict discipline, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’m just trying to give you a little—I don’t know…”
He got pinched for not finishing his sentence.
“Ouch. Okay, I was just giving you a fatherly push since you don’t have one—a father. And the only way I know to do it is to repeat what my father did to me.”
“Your dad was a hard ass.” I inferred if what he’d said was true.
“He was.”
“That’s fine. Why don’t you use that shit on Aspen. He needs it. I don’t.”
“I have. He doesn’t respond to it. He just strays further.”
“So find someone else or—and call me crazy—just stop being a dick.”
“Fine. I will.”
“Fine.”
Martha and Dahlia shared a look. “I think that’s the closest we’ll get to apologizing to each other,” Martha said with a shrug.
“I was thinking the same thing, Sunshine.” Dahlia leaned back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. She’d won some battle.
“Except what’s my punishment?”
The Alpha reached out for Echo’s hand and she nodded at him.
“There is no punishment. In fact, there is something else I’d like from you, Tarrow.”
My ears perked up at whatever he was about to say. “Name it, Alpha.”
“I want you to take a month off. No security runs. No working. No anything but taking care of that fine female of yours. Can you handle that?”
I looked at Dahlia who was blushing. “Yeah, I can do that. Thank you, Hawke.”
“I think that’s a fitting punishment. Come back better and ready to stop punching Rev. And Rev, stop being such a hard ass.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Martha and Rev filed out first. I was still a little stunned. The Coeur stood and grabbed Hawke’s shoulder, fisting his shirt.
“Call my mother and Martha’s mother, Hawke.”
“Why?”
“Because my water just broke.”
The Alpha handed his phone to Dahlia and instructed her to call Echo’s mother while I moved every chair in the room out of her way. Finally, Hawke picked her up and carried her to the bedroom on the first floor. She was completely calm to his frantic. Dahlia was calm as well, making the calls without any pinch in her voice. This was why every male needed a mate—they were the calm to the storm inside us.