by Lila Felix
“We should go,” I said, grabbing her hand.
“No. We need to stay until someone else gets here. The Alpha won’t want to leave her side and they might need something.”
“Okay.” See what I meant?
We sat on the couch waiting for someone to arrive. Not ten minutes later, Martha’s mother barreled into the house loaded down with bags and pillows and blankets.
“Help me, Tarrow.”
I’d already jumped up and Dahlia and I took what we could and she asked us to put it all on the couch.
I didn’t know whether to leave or to stay until my own mother showed up. It seemed that in this clan when someone was having a baby, all the mothers showed up.
As soon as the door closed, Echo’s mother came in without a word or a glance to either of us.
“She’s the real one they need. She can heal Echo after everything is done.”
Dahlia looked at my incredulously.
“It’s true. Didn’t I tell you that?”
“No.” Her face reddened, but I couldn’t tell what was going on inside her and brushed it off as the excitement of Echo having a baby.
“She is a great healer, just like her mom. Seriously, they can heal anyone of anything.”
“That’s great for the clan.” She remarked, but somehow I’d lost her.
She swallowed hard and her heartbeat quickened.
The Alpha popped his head out from the bedroom. “Tarrow, I need some ice water.” Dahlia beat me to it, hopping up like she was used to the request.
“And some lemons. This girl needs her Vitamin C.” Echo’s mother added.
Dahlia got what she needed from the kitchen and passed by me. Her heartbeat had returned to normal, but it was simply because she was forcing it to. I heard her purposeful deep inhales and determined exhales.
This shouldn’t be so damned hard.
“Hey, you’re not okay. Tell me what’s going on.” I didn’t dare ask the question. I knew she wouldn’t tell me unless I demanded it.
“I just want to go see my dad, that’s all.” She didn’t face me. I tasted the deceit. It hung on my tongue like bile.
I guess there was a first time for everything.
“So go. It would be better than you standing there and lying to me.”
She turned around with a sneer. “You’ve got better things to take care of anyway.”
Three hours after she left, I decided to go, leaving the house with a shout for someone to call me when she had the baby.
I went straight to my mom’s house and threw open the door like I still lived there. Everyone was gathered in the living room including my mate and she was fuming.
“Did you come to announce the great Alpha’s son’s arrival?” She asked. The snottiness could be heard in her tone a mile away, but she didn’t stop there. “Is the Coeur okay? I’m sure she is—you said she and her mother are great healers, right? I’m sure she’s up making a peach cobbler by now.”
I looked around the room to verify by the looks on everyone else’s faces that this was really happening.
Everyone has a beastly side—and this side of my mate was worse than any bear claw—and this was apparently Dahlia’s.
And I hated every second of it.
“She hasn’t had the baby yet. And she can’t heal right away. She has to regain her strength first.”
She stood to make the debate legitimately formal. “Oh yeah, but her mom can heal her, right?”
“No. They pull energy from each other. What’s your issue here? You’ve been acting pissed off since we were at the Alpha’s house.”
She shrugged. It was weird when people shrug sarcastically as if to say they don’t know, when really they’re just biding their time to spill it.
“Don’t shrug like you don’t know, female. I can’t fix anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
If her father had been completely well, he probably would’ve knocked me into next week.
“Oh, that’s what you do, right? You fix everything. You saved us from being homeless. You take care of your pathetic mate because she doesn’t have a job. But the thing you didn’t think of was that you have a person within spitting range who could fix him!” She pointed at her dad who seemed oblivious to the whole conversation.
“Maybe you two should take this outside.”
“No, I’d really like to hear this explanation as well.” Her mother spoke up. The spotlight was on me.
I didn’t want to continue this standoff with my mate. I walked over to her and addressed her directly even though her eyes would probably throw flames at me or something.
“Dahlia, that’s kind of why we moved you here. Once the Coeur is well and strong, she and her mother can heal him or try to. There are some things they say that are so far gone that they can only help the symptoms. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to give you hope in case they couldn’t. And the Coeur and her mother didn’t want to chance her expending that much energy while she was pregnant. She was weak as it was. I’ve seen her heal someone and take days or even a week to recover.” I should’ve stopped there, but there was a root to this issue that had to be put on the table. “But then again, you could’ve just asked me that at their home. I would’ve been happy to explain. It all boils down to you not trusting me still, now doesn’t it?”
“I think that’s our fault.” Clint spoke up, his voice as clear as I’d remembered from first meeting him.
“It’s not, Dad.” She defended.
He held his hand up and everyone was shocked at his clarity of mind. I was told it came and went.
“It is. I had an opinion about clans that I force fed you since you could walk. I based all of that on one Alpha and his tyrannical ways.” He stammered and tears welled in the eyes of his mate as she watched his sudden deterioration before her eyes. “I was—wrong.”
That took the wind out of Dahlia’s sails.
“I think we’ve done everything we could to prove that to you, Sir. I appreciate you saying that.”
I didn’t look at Dahlia. She was a mess inside now. Usually she was a mess outside.
“I’m going home to wait for the call from Hawke or whoever. It’s been a day from hell.”
“Stay for dinner, son.” My mom called out, but the door was already closing behind me.
I did the only thing I knew how to do and I was a little bitch for resorting to it once again.
Peeling off my clothes at the cusp of the trees, I shifted and let myself run wild.
Dahlia
He was running. I felt every paw imprint he made—every huff of breath through his snout—the smell of the swamp.
I was a fool of the greatest magnitude.
My sisters and my parents left me alone in the living room with Bonnie. I felt like a bear to the slaughter, left alone with the one who would have the vendetta against me.
“Let me tell you a story.” Bonnie moved at a slow pace to sit beside me on the couch.
Stories were never just stories in these situations.
“I’ve told you that I wasn’t clan, right?” I nodded. “Right. Well, it was more than that. I was a rogue bear. You know what that means?” I didn’t. “Not only was I not clan, but I was basically running wild, not caring who saw me shift or whose land I was on. I just ran amuck. And then Tarrow’s father insisted that we move to the clan lands. Matthias was Alpha then and I did everything I could to piss him off so that he would kick us out. I knew that my mate would naturally come with me. But even with Matthias, I realized the gifts that a clan gives that can’t be found in the society we live in anymore. They were kind when kindness wasn’t necessarily warranted. They were generous when sometimes they had nothing. They raised their cubs with love and discipline—a far cry from the way I was raised—which wasn’t at all. I’d been on my own since I was twelve years old. There’s such freedom to being independent and believe me, sometimes I think about my wild days and miss them. But then I weigh it
all out and see that when you’re a part of a community that values family, mates, and community—nothing beats that. And my biggest fault of all? Trust. It wasn’t until I had Tarrow that I realized that my mate really wouldn’t leave me or fool around. The only males I’d known were those who did those things. I know he’s my son, I’m biased, but he’s as good as they come.”
She didn’t wait for a response. She patted my knee and grabbed her huge purse, sing-talking about going to see the new baby.
My bear ached to run with him but I denied her.
I was the reason this thing was so hard. I’d pushed against the wall that was Tarrow over and over again, determined to break him.
Maybe I was just testing to see if he could be broken.
Which was really sick of me.
I sat there alone for hours, my world still while the rest of the family rattled around me going about life like mine wasn’t spiraling.
A tap at the back window got my attention and seeing who it would brought me to tears.
My mate gave me a shirtless shrug like he just couldn’t help but coming back for me.
I hoped he never lost that helpless need for me.
I sprinted to the back door and threw it open. He was on the bottom step, his breaths hefting and not from the running.
“One day I’ll stop screwing up.” My voice wobbled through the tears.
“I’d be bored. What would I do if I wasn’t chasing you?”
I laughed through the tears and crashed my mouth onto his. We continued our apology assault on each other’s mouths until a throat was cleared behind us.
“We’re trying to eat in here. Every time I look up, it’s like we’re watching a Lifetime movie. Carry it the hell out of here.”
My sister didn’t shit around.
“We’re leaving, Cia. Don’t crack a rib.”
He called my sister Cia. My mate and my sister were friends.
There was no limits to the loyalty of my mate. The world wasn’t big enough to hold it.
He bent down and threw me over his shoulder and carried me like that all the way home. There was more than one male chuckle along the way, but since my face was facing his ass, I couldn’t see whose ass I needed to beat later.
Which was fine since my view was so much better.
“How many days left?” He breathed into my ear after throwing me on the bed and pinning my arms above my head.
“It’s still fifteen.”
“I’ve got to keep busier. Time is passing too slowly. It’s getting harder and harder.”
I raised my eyebrows and he play-slapped the outside of my thigh. “Dangerous, dangerous girl. Can you answer me one thing?”
“Of course.” I answered between nibbles on his chin.
“Did you ever really think that I wouldn’t help your dad if I could?”
I sighed a lot lately. “Somewhere down deep I knew there was an explanation. I let my distrust of everything get in my way. I’m going to work on that. I swear it.”
“The mating will help. You’ll learn to trust me—maybe before we have dentures.”
“Maybe.”
He’d begun a full attack on my neck when his phone rang.
“The day of the mating ceremony, I’m going to give your phone to your mother. We get interrupted by your phone every single time.”
He laughed while answering the call.
A lot of agreeing grunts went on and then he ended the call.
“She’s really weak—the Coeur. The baby is healthy. His name is Colt. We need to see if we can help.”
“Okay.”
The only thing we knew to do was pray.
Tarrow
For a week, the Coeur didn’t move from the bed. She barely ate. Colt was nursed by other nursing females in the clan. I hadn’t even realized that was done anymore. There was no asking or concern over how he would be fed. The women just showed up every two or so hours and did what needed to be done.
If someone had any doubts about the power of community, all I’d have to do to convince them was to let them be audience to this event.
It’s in the face of tragedy that the human spirit responds in graciousness or greed—and my clan was the most gracious of them all.
“He called in the calvary, huh?” She referred to the Alpha.
I turned to her, still determined to change her mind at every turn. My mind had been readjusted by this event as well. Even though I’d had juvenile dreams of leaving the clan for freedom, the real freedom was found right here. No matter what I did, short of murder, my clan would be there to support me and my little family. I wouldn’t have to ask or worry how our needs would be fulfilled.
The need of one was the need of the clan—because there is no clan without each individual.
“Sweetheart, no. The calvary around here comes without beckoning. We are one and individuals at the same time. There’s no need to ask.”
That took her by surprise.
“There’s got to be something I can do to help. Can I go in there?”
“Let’s see.” Dahlia grabbed my hand. We approached the door of the bedroom and even in The Coeur’s pale, diluted state, she waved us in and patted the bed next to her and shooed Hawke away.
“Did you see him? I was waiting for you to come in.”
Dahlia took her hands and assured her of her new son’s handsome face like his father’s. They talked about the nobleness of his name and how he they saw such intelligence in his turquoise eyes, just like his mother’s.
All I saw was a sleeping baby with more hair than he weighed.
Maybe you had to be a girl.
Maybe it had to be your kid.
“I have to get better for your mating ceremony. I’m on a timetable here.” Echo laughed, but it lacked the fervor of her normal laugh.
“If we have to, we’ll just have the ceremony right here in your house. I wouldn’t want you to miss it. You’ve been so kind to me.”
The Coeur sat up a little and spoke to my mate. “You’re my kind of chick. I mean, Martha has always been my friend, but because we are opposites. You and I—we could get into some serious trouble together—without even trying.”
“I am a tornado.”
The Coeur winked at her. “I bet you are. So, have you bugged your mate to tell you what his gift is?”
Dahlia looked at me.
“Oh, shit. Did I ruin it?”
I laughed at the shared look on their faces. “Maybe the gift part, but I’m not telling. I do have a question. Can I hold him or am I gonna break him?”
Both girls rolled their eyes while Hawke nodded like he agreed that I was going to break the little meatloaf looking cub—not that he looked like meat, but all rolled up in that blanket he looked like my mom’s bacon wrapped meatloaf.
Wow.
I’m an idiot.
“Hold his head.” The Alpha barked at me.
“Is it gonna come off?”
“Oh dear Creator. Please don’t hurt him. Let me show you. I have six sisters and I held them all. Didn’t break any of them.
There’s something about seeing your mate with a baby and I didn’t know the feeling until I saw Dahlia holding Colt. She cooed to him before picking him up, making sure he was bundled correctly and straightening his little hat. I imagined she would handle our child even more lovingly, or maybe not. Maybe she would be like the other mothers of the clan, treating all children the same. They certainly treated Colt like their own already.
She picked him up with her hand behind his head and I took mental notes.
“His neck is not strong enough to support this big head of hair yet, so we have to help him for a while, okay?”
She was speaking to me, but still using her baby voice. It was nothing short of adorable.
“Let me sit down.”
“Here.” She got so close to me, making sure there was no chance I dropped him. He only weighed ten pounds, I wasn’t going to drop him. After a few strokes of his hai
r, she went back to talking to Echo. They whispered something and while I probably could’ve heard it, I wasn’t paying attention. This little thing in my hands was too much of a miracle and it made my desire for one of my own that much greater.
But my ears did pick up the end of the conversation—she spoke to Hawke directly.
She called him Alpha now.
“Alpha, if you would allow me to take care of her while you get some rest and get cleaned up? She’s concerned about you and that’s not helping her heal. I’ve taken care of my mother after all of her births, well except Cia, I was too little. If there is any change, I won’t hesitate to send for you.”
Echo’s mother had gone home to pray and get some of her own people’s medicine and Martha’s mother had left to attend a birth off of the clan lands.
The Alpha weighed the issue for a shorter term than I expected before nodding and kissing Echo on the forehead before heading out of the room, pulling his shirt off as he left.
“He doesn’t trust many people with his family. You bless us.”
“It’s me who is blessed.”
One of the females, Claire, knocked on the threshold of the bedroom just as Colt began to grunt and wiggle out of sleep. She was right on time.
“My turn, Son of the Alpha.” She called him by his proper title and took him from me, speaking in that voice. All females must have that voice too—the baby voice.
I stood there like an idiot until I realized all eyes were on me.
“Oh, crap. Sorry.” I left and shut the door behind me. Obviously, I had a lot to learn about babies and females and boobs.
“They’re okay in there?” The Alpha asked around a mouthful of something. His plate looked like it had been filled by a Sasquatch after a hunger strike.
“Yep.”
“I hate eating without her. One meal and I’m lost.” He shook his head and laughed at the fact.
“That’s the way it’s supposed to be right?”
He shrugged and stuffed a bite into his mouth. “It is that way and I love it. I know that much.”