Picking up the Pieces

by Jessica Prince

  “This is bullshit!” Allison yelled.

  When Luke got in her face, I was scared for her. “Woman, are you deaf or just plain stupid? Get. The. Hell. Out.”

  Allison spun on her heels and practically ran out the door. When she was gone, Luke turned back to me.

  “You’re about as welcome here as she is, Lucas.”

  “Luke,” he replied.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “Excuse me?”

  “Luke. Not Lucas. You only call me Lucas when you’re pissed at me.”

  He has a lot of fucking nerve, I thought.

  “Well, seeing as I can’t stand the sight of you, saying your full name is kinda fitting, don’t you think?”

  He leaned down and his face got soft as he looked at me. He reached up and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from my ponytail behind my ear. “I don’t care if you can’t stand the sight of me. I don’t care if you hate me until the day you die. I’ll always be your Luke.”

  All of the air seemed to have been sucked out of the room. I couldn’t breathe when he looked at me like that. I didn’t have any fight left in me. “Please leave,” I whispered weakly. I didn’t have any witty comebacks or mean things to say. I just wanted him to leave for my own piece of mind.

  He nodded his head and the heartbroken look on his face stripped me raw. He walked out the door without turning around. It took all of my strength not to run after him.

  ***

  I sat on the bright green grass and ran my fingers over the grave marker. “Hi, sweetie.” I’d occasionally come to the cemetery and just sit at my daughter’s grave. Other times, it gave me some comfort to talk to her. I knew she wasn’t there, that her spirit wasn’t in the ground, but it gave me peace to talk to her. Today was one of the days I needed that peace. “I don’t know what I’m doing, honey. I’m so damn lost right now. Your Daddy really is a good guy.” I traced the name in the grave marker over and over. Ella Michelle Grace. If you were here, he’d be tied around your little finger. He would have been a great daddy.”

  I sat silent for several minutes. “I don’t want to love him,” I said in a hushed voice. “But I can’t stop.”

  “No one said you had to,” came a voice from behind me. I jumped, startled, and spun on the seat of my pants to see Savannah standing behind me. “I thought I’d find you here,” she said as she sat next to me. “Hi there, honey bunch,” she spoke to my daughter.

  After several quiet seconds, I turned back to my friend. “What are you doing here, Savannah?”

  She took a deep breath and met me eye for eye. “You’re my best friend, I know you. And this stuff between you and Luke is really taking its toll on the both of you.”

  I looked at her curiously. “Both of us? How do you know how he’s taking it?”

  She looked at me, and the expression that crossed her face was one of worry. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something, but you need to promise not to freak out on me. Deal?”

  I was getting nervous because of how she was acting. “What’s going on, Savannah?”

  She turned away from me before answering. “Luke came to see me yesterday.”

  I jerked back in shock. “What do you mean, he came to see you?”

  “He came to my house. He wanted to tell me some things in the hopes that I’d change my opinion of him and help him attempt to change yours too.”

  I let out a humorless laugh. “The dude must a have death wish. He should know better than that.” When she didn’t respond, I turned; she was worrying her bottom lip. “Savannah?”

  “Ithinkyoushouldtalktohim.” She spoke in such a rush that all of her words blended together.

  “You what?”

  “You promised not to freak out on me,” she said as she held her hands up.

  “I didn’t promise shit. What the hell do you mean you think I should talk to him, Savannah? You’re the one that’s practically made it your life’s goal to make him miserable. You hate Luke.”

  She pulled her hair into a ponytail at the nape of her neck before releasing it again. “I know I said I hated him… hell, I did hate him for what he did to you.” She looked at me pleadingly. “But he told me some things that explain so much, Emmy. You owe it to yourself to hear what he has to say.” She took both of my hands in hers. “This is killing you. You aren’t being fair to yourself. I don’t know anyone who deserves happiness as much as you do. You’re the only one standing in the way, honey.”

  There was no way I could be mad at her when she spoke with so much heart. Savannah was typically sarcastic by nature, so I knew to take her seriously when she got emotional. “Traitor,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  “You know I’m always on your side.” She leaned over and wrapped me in a hug. We sat there for a while, just looking at my daughter’s marker. “She’d have been so lucky to have the two of you as parents.”

  Savannah saying that made me laugh and cry at the same time. “Luke and I might drive each other insane, but I don’t doubt for a second that Ella would have had more love than any child could handle.”

  Savannah grinned and kissed my temple. “The two of you would have driven her fucking crazy. She would have had to run to her Auntie Savvy on a regular basis just to escape being hugged to death.” My heart felt lighter just listening to Savannah talk about me and Luke as parents. She was right. If Ella were around, I had no doubt Luke and I would drive her crazy trying to hug and kiss on her all the time.

  “You gonna talk to him?” Savannah asked as we stood and started back toward our cars.

  I bumped my shoulder into hers and smiled at her. “I’ll think about it.”

  CHAPTER 29

  LUKE

  Trevor looked at me with a combination of concern and humor. “You sure you wanna do this, man? He was really fuckin’ pissed the last time you saw him.”

  I grabbed my keys and started for the front door. “Hell no, I don’t want to do this.”

  Trevor threw his hands up in the air. “Then why are you?”

  He didn’t understand the complexity of the situation. If I had any chance at all of making things right with Emmy, I also had to make them right with the other two people who hadn’t come around. I already had Savannah behind me, so that meant I just had one person left.

  “It’s just something I gotta do, Trev.”

  “I might’ve been a field medic, but I can’t work fuckin’ miracles, Luke. You come back here busted to hell, I’m just gonna have to take your ass to the hospital.”

  I gave Trevor a slap on the back and opened the front door. “That’s a risk I gotta take, man. Wish me luck.”

  I was out the door and heading down the stairs when he hollered down “You won’t need luck. You’ll need a goddamned body bag.”

  ***

  I hit the lights on the cruiser and sounded the siren. The pickup in front of me slowly pulled over to the shoulder of the road and put on its hazards. Here goes nothing. I sucked in a deep breath and made my way to the truck. “License and insurance,” I said, following procedure as closely as I could, considering this wasn’t a routine traffic stop.

  “You gotta be shittin’ me,” Brett replied, pissed off beyond belief. “What the fuck am I being pulled over for?”

  “Why don’t you take some of the sass outta your voice and step out of the car.”

  “Is this some kind of joke?” Brett threw his truck into park and opened the door to step out. “You wanna tell me why you’re pulling me over… Deputy?” He was clenching and unclenching his fists by his side. It wouldn’t take much for me to push Brett over the edge.

  “I think you and I need to talk,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest trying to look as intimidating as possible. I didn’t want to fight with Brett but I had to be prepared for anything.

  He mimicked my stance as we stared eye-to-eye. “You planning on us having some Lifetime movie moment or something? Because I gotta tell you, I’m really not in the mood to go
all chick with you.”

  My need to bust his lip was quickly taking over my need to make things right. But I knew I had to keep my shit together if I wanted a chance with Emmy. “Look, I get that you don’t like me and that’s cool. I don’t blame you for feeling like you do, but you need to know that I’m not going anywhere. What I did was fucked up. I was an asshole to each and every one of you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bailed the way I did. I’m trying to make shit right, and that includes apologizing to you.”

  I had to take a deep breath to keep my thoughts straight. “I’d give anything to go back eight years and change what I did. I just wanted to tell you, face-to-face, that I’m gonna do everything in my power to get Emmy to forgive me. That girl means more to me than my own breath, but I also wanted to tell you that I would like to make it to where we can at least tolerate each other.”

  Deep breath… I can do this. I lifted my arms to my sides and looked at Brett. “So do what you gotta do, man.”

  He looked at me like I’d grown a third eye. “What are you sayin’, man?”

  “Take a shot. I’m giving you a free pass. I won’t duck or hit back. If this is what it takes to get you to accept me back in this town and in Emmy’s life, then go ahead… take a shot.”

  Brett glanced from side to side like he was expecting someone to jump out and taze him or something. “Have you lost your mind, Luke? I’m not gonna hit you. You’re in uniform for Christ’s sake!”

  “This isn’t a set up or anything,” I declared as I dropped my arms back to my sides. “I’m out of ideas. I don’t know how to get you to believe that I’m serious about this shit.”

  Brett ran both hands through his hair and started pacing back and forth in front of me. “You realize this is twisted, right? I’m not going to just wail on you just to prove a point.”

  I threw my arms up in frustration. “Then what do I have to do, Brett? I’m trying to prove myself to you, and I don’t have a fuckin’ clue how to do that.”

  He placed his hands on his hips and hung his head as he let out a breath. “Well…” he started, then paused. “I gotta respect you for putting it out there like that, even if it’s kind of sick.” A smirk spread across his lips. “You serious about this? You’d really let me kick your ass just so you could get my stamp of approval for Emmy?”

  It was my turn to laugh. “Not just for that…” At the risk of sounding like a chick, I pushed forward. “You were my best friend before I left. I bailed on you too, man. I want to get Emmy back more than anything, but I’d like it if you and I could be cool again.”

  “There’s the Lifetime moment I was talking about,” he exclaimed as he pointed at me and laughed.

  “Yuck it up, asshole.” I felt like a thousand-pound weight was lifted off my chest. In all the time I’d been back, Brett and I hadn’t been able to say more than three words to each other without one of us exploding. It was progress that we not only managed to not kill each other, but also reached common ground.

  I reached my hand out to Brett. “We cool, brother?”

  He looked down at my hand skeptically, and the lightness I had just been feeling started pressing down again. Maybe I’d misjudged the situation. Taking in the look on my face, he let out another laugh and shook my hand. “Yeah, man, we’re cool.” He pulled me to him and gave me a slap on the back. “But I’m just gonna say this once. You pull that shit again, and I’m gonna hunt your ass down and end you.”

  “Deal man. I’ll even give you that in writing.”

  “Then I think we’re good.”

  Thank God!

  After handing Brett’s license and insurance card to him, he took off and I went back to finish my shift. When I walked through the apartment door, Trevor was kicked back in the recliner watching football. “Well there’s no blood, so that’s a good sign.”

  “Do you work at all?” I asked, kicking his foot as I walked toward the kitchen.

  Trevor got up and followed me. I tossed him a beer and leaned up against the counter. “It’s funny you mentioned that,” he said after taking a pull of his beer.

  “Why’s that funny?”

  “I’ve been scoping out locations to open up a tattoo parlor. I just made an offer on one today.”

  I’d known Trevor had skills when it came to ink… hell, he was the one that did mine. He’d never really talked about it, so I didn’t know he was interested in starting up a business in Cloverleaf. “That’s awesome, man. Where will you be setting up shop?”

  He took another pull off his drink. “Well, fingers crossed, it’ll be that building off Main about three blocks from Virgie May’s.”

  I thought back to what building was there. He couldn’t possibly be talking about what I thought he was talking about. “You’re kidding, right? The old insurance company? That building’s a bigger piece of shit than this one,” I said as I waved my hand around the apartment we were standing in.

  He walked over to me and gave me a slap on the shoulder. “Sure is pal. Better be prepared for some manual labor if everything goes according to plan.” With that, he walked out of the kitchen.

  CHAPTER 30

  EMERSON

  “Is this a special occasion or something?” I asked my friends. It wasn’t uncommon for them to come into the diner, but to have each and every one of them there at the same time, at the same table, was pretty rare, considering they all had jobs and it was a Tuesday. My gut told me something was up.

  “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Emmy,” Lizzy said with a shit-eating grin. “Can’t a few friends enjoy a meal together every once in a while?”

  “No,” I deadpanned. “You forget that I know all of you, and I can tell when something’s up, so you might as well spill it.” I scanned the faces of each one of them. I knew it was pointless to try and crack Savannah, Brett or Jeremy. Lizzy and Stacia were too busy laughing. Gavin was staring down at the menu like it was the most interesting thing on the planet. That left one person—the weakest link in my group of friends. “If you ever want to eat here again, Trevor, you’ll tell me what’s going on.”

  “Oh come on!” he said as he slammed the menu down on the table. “That’s not fair, you know I can’t resist the food here. You went for the jugular on the first move!”

  Lizzy reached over and rubbed his back. “Ah, leave him alone, Em, you know he’s sensitive when it comes to his food.”

  “Damn straight,” he mumbled under his breath, still sulking.

  “Someone better tell me what the hell is going on or I’m…” I didn’t get to finish my sentence before the bell over the door chimed. I turned and saw Luke walk in, determination clear as day on his face. He stalked straight over to me, grabbed my face and slammed his lips down on mine. His tongue teased the seam of my lips, and when I opened on a sharp inhale, he nipped my bottom lip before his tongue dove in and tangled with mine. It took a lot of strength, but I managed not to melt into him as he gave me one of the best kisses of my life. I somehow managed to keep my hands clenched at my sides, but it was so hard not to grab hold of his hair and lose myself in him.

  When he pulled back, we were both breathing hard. “Kiss me back, Emmy,” he demanded as he leaned back in to me.

  “No,” I whispered weakly against his lips. I knew that the longer he had me in his grip, the closer I’d be to resisting. I had to end this somehow.

  “Kiss. Me .Back.” His teeth were clenched as he pushed each word out angrily.

  “NO!” I tried to jerk away from him but he held tight to my biceps and wouldn’t let go. A quick glance at my friends’ table showed me that they knew this exact scenario was going to occur, and they’d come for front row seats. “I hate you guys,” I muttered to them.

  “We’re gonna talk right now whether you like it or not,” Luke demanded as he dragged me to the front door of the diner.

  Pulling my arm with all of my might wasn’t enough to get him to let go, so I planted my feet and tried my best not to budge. “There
’s nothing to say, Luke. Let me go, and get out!”

  I was looking around to see how public our little scene had become, so I didn’t notice him pulling his cuffs out of his back pocket. The clink of metal had me dragging my attention to where his hand was wrapped around my wrist. One of the cuffs was wrapped around my wrist, the other around his. “Have you gone mental? Uncuff me right now!”

  “Not until you talk to me!”

  I looked around frantically at the diners sitting at their tables. “Do y’all see this?” I asked, raising the hand that was cuffed to Luke in the air. “He’s gone off the reservation! Someone call the sheriff!” Everyone quickly turned their heads from me and Luke and concentrated on their tables, including my soon-to-be ex friends. “That’s it!” I hollered. “Y’all are all banned from Virgie May’s. Every damn one of you!”

  Luke started dragging me to the door, and I noticed Savannah jumping up and putting on an apron. “Order up, Lenny,” she called out to my cook.

  “You don’t say order up, Savannah. I say order up.”

  “What the hell ever. Just get me some damn food to serve these people!” That was the last I heard before the door closed behind me and I was pulled through the parking lot. “Where are you taking me?” I asked as I jerked on the cuffs to test the resistance. I wasn’t getting away.

  “Get in,” was all he said in return. Luke opened the door of his cruiser and pushed me into the back seat, not very gently I might add. He took the keys to the cuffs out of his pocket and unlocked me right before slamming the door shut.

  “The back seat? Is that really necessary, Luke?”

  He shifted himself into the driver’s seat and started up the car. “At least this way, I know you won’t be able to run.”

  He shifted into drive and pulled out of the parking lot. I sat in the back with my arms crossed over my chest and stared out the window. I refused to talk to him while he was acting like an ass hat.

  I stayed that way for several minutes as he drove, completely silent and taking in the scenery… until I noticed where we were. I sat ramrod-straight in the seat back seat. “No Luke, take me back right now!”