"Hello, Mara, do you mind if I join you?"
Spinning around to face him. Mara could feel her heart skip a beat. She had not seen him in such a long time, and she had hoped she had gotten over her feelings for him. But one look into his dark eyes and she knew she still felt the same.
"This is your garden, Tajarez," she said trying to sound normal.
Tajarez's eyes moved to the child in Palomas's arms. "It seems your son thrives. He has grown since last I saw him."
"Yes. The medicine man assures me that Andrew is a healthy boy."
"Yes, Tabo has said the same thing to me." He looked back to Mara. "He also told me that you have not regained any of your memory."
Palomas handed Andrew to Mara and withdrew a few paces.
"I have accepted the fact that I will never remember the past. It no longer seems as important to me as it once did," she answered him, trying to avoid his dark eyes, which seemed to be pulling at her heart.
Andrew took an interest in the stranger. Seeing the bright, shiny crown on Tajarez's head, he reached out his arms to him. Mara grabbed Andrew's hands and tried to distract him, but Andrew was not easily swayed from his quest. Jerking his hands free of his mother's grasp, he leaned toward Tajarez.
Tajarez took the tiny boy in his arms and smoothed his dark silky hair from his face. His eyes wandered lovingly over the face of the son he could not acknowledge.
"I am sorry, Tajarez. Andrew is a very loving child, and he seems to have a mind of his own."
"He is a beautiful child," Tajarez said in an unsteady voice.
"Thank you. I am pleased when anyone admires Andrew."
"I wonder if you would allow Falon to bring Andrew to the nursery today, so Hamez and Tamera might see him?" Tajarez asked.
Mara looked undecided for a moment. "I do not know. Why would you want Andrew to be with your children?"
"I think they would enjoy seeing him. It would please me if you were to say yes."
"I suppose it would do no harm," she said, puzzled by his request. "I have been told by Sasha that your children are very beautiful."
"Yes, they are, but no more so than Andrew," Tajarez told her as he handed her son back to her. He started to walk away from her when Mara spoke.
"Please, do not go yet. There is something of great importance I wish to ask you."
He paused and waited for her to speak, nodding his dark head.
"It is spring, and I was wondering if you would allow me to visit my brother David, in St. Louis?"
His face seemed to freeze and his eyes narrowed. "I had hoped you would not be content to abide with us. I have kept my word to you and stayed away from you."
"Why can you not see, I do not want to stay here? This is not my home. Please allow me to leave."
"What if I were to give you the freedom to go where you wished in the City, would you then consider staying with me . . . with us?"
"No, I need to leave here; I feel if I do not get away, I will lose what little of my sanity I have left."
He sat down on a bench and looked at the golden hair that framed her lovely face. Great Father, how he hated to play the heavy-handed king with her, when all he really wanted to do was give her anything that would make her smile again. "Have you thought that life would be like for your son in the white man's world? Andrew would never be accepted, the other children would taunt and ridicule him, and their mothers and fathers would forbid them to play with him. Would it not be far better for you and Andrew to remain here with us?" he said, knowing he was taking unfair advantage of her love for her child.
"I have thought about what you are saying, but I cannot bring myself to leave him, and I cannot stay."
"Mara, I have seen to it that you are given everything within reason that you ask for. You have someone to see to your every need. If there is anything you desire, I will see that you have it, but... do not ask me to let you leave."
"You cannot see how I feel. How many times must I tell you, I want to be free! I do not want any of the things you offer. Freedom to me would be more precious than life!"
Tajarez reached out his hand and touched her soft cheek. "Oh, Mara, I have kept my word to stay away from you. Never has it been so hard for me to keep my word. I want to hold you and help you to be rid of all your fears. Come with me now, and I will do no more than you will allow."
Tears welled up in her eyes, and he pulled her head to rest against his broad shoulder. "Please keep your word to me, for you are far stronger than I. I fear I would give you all you asked," she admitted, surprising not only herself, but Tajarez as well.
Tajarez pushed her away from him and stood up. "Great Father, this whole thing begins to tell on me. You once told me you detested me, now you admit you are drawn to me. What are your true feelings?"
"I do not know, all I am certain of is what I want to get away."
"I will never allow you to leave, Mara. Never!"
Mara looked at Palomas, who was standing at a discreet distance from them. "I will find a way to leave, Tajarez. You can put guards on me but they cannot watch me every moment. You have my word, before too many more days have passed, I will be gone."
Tajarez's face creased into a frown and his dark eyes became piercing. Before Mara suspected his intentions, he reached for Andrew and called out to Palomas.
"Take the child to the royal nursery," he told Palomas, handing Andrew to him.
"No, you cannot do this!" Mara cried out reaching for her son, but Tajarez grabbed her about the waist, restraining her, while Palomas gave her a sympathetic glance. "Palomas, do not take my baby away from me!"
Palomas turned his back on her and walked toward the palace. He thought he had never before wanted to disobey his king as he did at that moment.
"I do not think I will need a guard to keep you here, Mara. You would never leave without Andrew, and he will remain in the nursery with Hamez and Tamera."
As Mara struggled to be free of him, Tajarez's grip tightened about her waist.
"Are you such a monster that you would take a baby who is not yet weaned from his mother!" she screamed.
"Do not fear, Vista will find a suitable woman to feed your son. I suggest you go to your room now," he said, in a voice of authority.
Mara jerked free of him and raised her head proudly. She would not beg and grovel at his feet. The mighty king of the Seven Cities had just overstepped his bounds. She was not beaten, and if he thought she was, then he was a bigger fool than she thought him to be.
Tajarez watched as she walked away from him, her back straight and her head high. He had never loved her more, nor trusted her less, than he did at that moment.
Tajarez entered the nursery and was greeted by a beaming Vista, who was holding Andrew in her arms. "He is wonderful, my king. I am glad to get to hold him at last. He looks very much like you."
"Do you think so?" he said, pleased at her observation.
"It is so, my king."
He entered a second room, where the twins were playing on the floor. Vista handed Andrew into his arms and then withdrew to give him privacy with his three children.
Tajarez sat down on the floor and held Andrew out for Tamera and Hamez's inspection. "I have a surprise for you. Someone special has come to see you. You must be very patient and gentle with him, for he is but a baby."
"I like babies," Hamez said, looking with interest at the child in his father's arms.
"Can I hold him?" Tamera said, moving to her father's side.
"Yes, you may hold him, for, you see, this baby belongs to you and your brother. He is my son as Hamez is my son, and he is brother to each of you."
"Brother," Hamez said.
"Yes. His name is Andrew, and he is your brother."
Tamera clapped her hands delightedly, but Hamez merely looked puzzled. "Can this brother play with me?"
"No, not until he grows bigger. He is very small."
Tamera peered down at her newly acquired brother. "Oh," she said in an aw
ed voice, as she reached out her hand to touch Andrew's soft cheek. Andrew blessed her with a winsome smile and Tamera clapped her hands in delight.
Hamez looked down at his brother and nodded his approval. "I like him," he announced.
Tajarez lifted Andrew to his face and held him against his cheek. There was no one who could deny him the right to his son. In the privacy of the nursery he could show him the love he had kept secret.
A smile creased Tajarez's face as Andrew began to snuggle close to him. "I love you, my son; Forgive me for the neglect. I will make it all up to you now."
"Tamera hold baby," his daughter said, holding out her arms.
Tajarez placed Andrew in her small, willing arms. "You must hold him secure, Tamera." Tajarez urged as he helped her support her brother.
"I love him," she said as she placed a kiss on his bronzed cheek.
"I want him to play with me," Hamez said, touching the soft, silky hair that covered the baby's head.
"I told you, Hamez, Andrew is too small to play with you now. You must be patient until he grows."
"He is very nice," Hamez said, giving his approval again.
"You are his father?" Tamera wanted to know.
"Yes, just as I am your father."
"Can we keep him?" Hamez wanted to know.
Tajarez looked into the faces of the twins and saw their eagerness: "Yes, Andrew will be staying with you."
The eyes of the tiny prince royal lit up. "How long will it take for him to grow up?"
Tajarez smiled. "Hardly any time at all, Hamez. Before you know it, Andrew will be big enough to play with you."
Mara lay dry-eyed across her bed. She had sent Falon to the nursery to bring Andrew back to her. She heard the door open and rolled over to see Falon with a dejected frown on her face.
"Where is my son, Falon?" Mara demanded.
"Mara, I was told that Andrew would be staying in the royal nursery with the twins," Falon told her, distressed by the look on her queen's face, and not understanding why the king had taken Andrew away.
"For how long, Falon?"
Falon ducked her head. "Vista told me the king said Andrew would be staying in the nursery permanently."
Mara had not really believed that Tajarez would follow through with his threat. After she had had time to think about it, she had decided he would merely use Andrew to make her submissive to his will.
"Your king oversteps his authority. I will go to the nursery and get my son." Mara said raising from the bed and placing her hands on her hips.
"Mara, the guard at the stairs will not allow you to climb to the second floor where the nursery is."
"Where is Tajarez?"
"I am told that he is in the small chamber just off the anteroom," Falon said, wondering what Mara would do to get her son back.
"I will go to him and demand that he return my son to me," Mara said as she stormed to the door and pushed past Falon.
"Mara, the king's word is law," Falon cried in a futile attempt to stop Mara from being hurt any more than she had already been.
"Perhaps for you his word is law, but not for me," Mara said pushing the door open and slamming it behind her.
Falon covered her face with her hands, wondering what would happen when the queen encountered the king.
Mara burst into the room where she had been told she would find Tajarez. He had been talking to Palomas and when Mara entered both men looked up at her. Both of them knew her well, and they knew by the look on her face that she had come to do battle. Palomas looked at Tajarez and walked to the door, leaving Mara to face his king alone.
"Come in, Mara I have been expecting you." He gave her a mock bow. "Would you care to sit down?"
She ignored his offer to sit. "I do not care if you are king, I will not tolerate your taking my baby from me. Andrew belongs with me. You have had your fun at my expense, you have made me squirm, now you just go and get Andrew and bring him to me," she demanded.
"Sit down, Mara, I want to talk to you."
"I do not want to talk to you. I have said all I came to say. I will be waiting in my room for the return of my baby."
"Why do you always revert to English when you are angry, Mara?"
"I meant what I said, Tajarez," she said, ignoring his barb.
His dark eyes scanned her face with such intensity that Mara closed her eyes against them. "Mara, Andrew will remain in the nursery."
"You only took him as a weapon to use against me. I do not know why you are doing this to me. What have I ever done to you to make you want to treat me so cruelly?"
"Mara, the last thing I would ever want to do is to cause you pain. I have done everything others have told me to do, without knowing what was right. I will now make a decision on my own." "I do not understand what you are trying to say." "Great Father, I cannot stand much more of this. Can you not see? Are you so blind that you do not know that Andrew is my son!"
25
Why do I covet that which is not mine?
Why do I grow bolder with the passing of time?
Mara's face whitened, and she could feel her body begin to tremble. Her hands were shaking so badly she tried to clasp them together to steady them. Seeing her reaction, Tajarez began to fear she could not handle any more. He was glad he had not blurted out that she was his wife.
She backed away from him shaking her head. "No! You lie! Oh, dear God no. Why are you saying this to me? You said before that Andrew was not your son."
He reached out and drew her unwilling body into his arms. "No, Mara, I never denied that Andrew was my son."
She searched her mind trying to remember. "But you implied that he was not your son, that is the same thing." She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly.
"Mara, Andrew is the son of my flesh. You and I have loved each other many times in the past," he said, resting his face against hers. "I want to make love to you at this moment."
His warm breath stirred her hair, and she felt a weakness in the pit of her stomach. Try as she might, she could not find it in her to resent that he was her son's father. It seemed only right that Tajarez had fathered her son.
"I cannot stand by day after day, wanting to make love to you, yet not being allowed to. If you only knew the torment I have been living through, Mara."
His mouth was only a hairs-breadth away from hers, and his hands were drawing her tightly against his body, Mara's pulse quickened and she closed her eyes as his lips settled on hers. Someone somewhere was moaning, and it took Mara seconds before she realized it was she.
His lips left hers to start the slow mind-destroying trip down the curve of her neck. Nothing and no one mattered at that moment but the feelings Tajarez awakened in her starving body. His hands moved up over her breasts and Mara gasped as his mouth nibbled at the lobe of her ear.
"Mara, beloved," he cried out in his agony, as he crushed her in his arms. "Allow me to carry you to my room. I want to love you; do not deny me."
Everywhere his hands touched her flesh they seemed to sear her skin, as well as her mind. She could feel his hard body pressed tightly against hers, and she knew that the last thing she wanted to do was to deny his slightest wish. Everything but the feelings he had aroused in her body was blotted out. She had all but forgotten her reason for seeking him out in this room, but some tiny voice in the back of her mind reminded her she could not go with him to his room. She would not allow him to make love to her in the room where he slept with his queen.
"No. Not in your room," she whispered, groaning as his mouth settled on hers. When he raised his head, Tajarez saw that Mara's eyes were bright with desire. Lifting her in his arms he carried her out the door, across the anteroom and down the hallway to her room. Mara leaned her head against his chest listening to the heavy drumming of his heart. This is wrong, her mind said. It was meant to happen, her heart answered.
Mara saw that he was taking her to the room she occupied, and she hoped Falon would not be waiting for her.
But when Tajarez laid her on her bed she saw the room was empty.
Mara thought she could not stand it as Tajarez unfastened the back of her gown slowly, deliberately. When her gown fell to the floor in a heap, he picked her up and placed her on the bed.
"The queen?" Mara whispered, in a last attempt to free her mind.
"I love you," Tajarez said against her lips. "I love only you." His lips came down on hers hungrily, as Mara's heart sang, "He loves me, he loves me."
Mara felt her undergarments being removed. Closing her eyes, she felt the weight of Tajarez's body pinning her into the soft covers.
"Beloved, I have been in torment. I searched for you, not knowing if I would ever find you, and when you returned to me you looked at me with the eyes of a stranger. Hold me, Mara; let me feel alive again!"
Mara's hands ran down his back and settled at his narrow waist. She could feel the hardness of his body, and she knew he desired her as she desired him. It did not matter what happened tomorrow, this was now, and she could feel the torment he had spoken of. His body trembled as she turned her head and sought his lips. With a strangled groan, he sought entrance to her body, an entrance made easy for him by the arching of her eager body. As he started moving inside of her, Mara thought she would not be able to bear the beauty of it. Her fingers laced into his long ebony hair as her body became a part of his. Sensuous feelings filled her body, and Mara knew that she had been created to give and receive pleasure from Tajarez. If she were to die tomorrow, tonight she was more alive than she had ever been.
Tajarez's breathing had become labored as he took her beautiful body. He had thought in the past that she had given him more pleasure than a man could ever hope for, but never before had he felt this deep love that surpassed mortal love and reached for the immortal. His body was on fire, his mind was attuned to Mara's. It was as if he could feel every sensation she was feeling and know every thought she was thinking. Their bodies were soaring among the heavens, on golden wings. When Tajarez was sure they had reached the highest point anyone had ever attained, their bodies floated softly back to earth. Time seemed to have no meaning as they lay in each other's arms, both overcome with the wonderful thing that had just passed between them.
Savage Splendor (Savage Lagonda 2) Page 29