“Cass…”
Cassidy laughed and grabbed Alex’s arm to lead her from the room. Alex followed her wife to the front door. Cassidy turned to face Alex and smiled broadly at the look of consternation on Alex’s face. “Quit pouting, coach,” Cassidy teased.
Alex put her hands on Cassidy’s belly. “You two stay on the bench until I get back.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Go on. The first string is waiting,” she said with a raise of her brow.
Alex leaned in and kissed Cassidy gently. “See you Sunday night.”
“Yes, you will,” Cassidy promised. She watched as Alex made her way to the car where Dylan and Cat were impatiently waiting with Nick and shook her head affectionately at the scene. “Now, get out of here, coach.”
“Made her go, huh?” Helen asked as she came up beside Cassidy. Cassidy sighed. “Worried about her?” Helen guessed. Cassidy watched silently and waved goodbye to the foursome as they pulled out of the driveway. “Cassidy?”
“It’s part of who she is,” Cassidy said.
Helen nodded and closed the door. Alex had held true to her word. She had turned over control of Carecom to her older brother and resigned officially from the CIA. It had taken a while for Alex to decide what she wanted to do next. Cassidy was surprised when Alex announced that she had taken a position as an instructor at the State Police Academy. Alex seemed pleased with the decision. Two weeks later she bounced through the door with the news that she had gotten a second job coaching cross country and track at the local high school.
“She seems happy with her decisions,” Helen observed.
“For now,” Cassidy said.
“Mommy!” a tiny voice called out. Cassidy smiled as her daughter toddled toward her. Helen scooped up the toddler. “D.?” Mackenzie asked.
“Dylan is with Momma,” Cassidy told her daughter.
Mackenzie frowned. “Baby?” she pointed to Cassidy’s tummy.
“Yes, Kenzie.”
“We pway?” Mackenzie asked.
Cassidy laughed. “Not yet, Kenz,” she said just as she received another strong kick. “Soon,” she said. “You can play with Jacob,” Cassidy told her daughter.
Kenzie took that opportunity to wiggle from her YaYa’s grasp. Helen set her down and watched as she sprinted as best she could away toward the family room where Barb and Jacob were. “Cob! Cob!” Mackenzie called as she hurried away.
“She never stops,” Helen noted.
“Mmm. Just like her momma,” Cassidy commented.
Helen chuckled. It was true. She and Cassidy had talked about it many times. Mackenzie reminded Helen of Alex often. Alex constantly made comments about how much Mackenzie resembled Cassidy. She did. The older Mackenzie got, the more apparent that was. She had Cassidy’s features, although, given her already considerable height, Helen expected that one day Mackenzie might tower over Cassidy. Neither Alex nor Cassidy had ever discussed or divulged who their donor had been. Helen had her suspicions. Mackenzie was a blend of her parents in every conceivable way. She watched Mackenzie round the hallway corner and felt a smile tug gently at her lips. The toddler reminded her of Alex at the same age—curious about and into everything. Helen started laughing.
Earlier that morning, Cassidy had called for Helen’s assistance after finding that Mackenzie had climbed into one of the kitchen cabinets and removed every single pot that Cassidy had stored there. Mackenzie had arranged them across the kitchen floor. When Cassidy asked what Mackenzie was doing, Mackenzie had grinned proudly and said, “Bekfast, Mommy.”
That was Mackenzie. She didn’t wait for anyone to show her how to do things, she inserted herself in the middle of everything and endeavored to learn how it worked. It didn’t seem to matter if it was an adult conversation, her brother’s models or Legos, or how the television worked. Mackenzie had a need to know. She emulated everything Dylan did. If Cassidy or Helen were cooking, Mackenzie needed a pot and a spoon to help. When Alex would stretch before leaving for a run, Mackenzie would mimic her every move.
Helen understood Cassidy’s concerns. Alex had always been on the move in some way. She was insatiably curious and constantly looking for a new challenge. Helen also had come to understand her daughter quite well. She put an arm around Cassidy. “I think you underestimate the challenges that await her,” Helen chuckled.
Cassidy smiled at the truth of the statement. Four children likely would present as many obstacles and upheavals as international conspiracies had. She laughed when she felt a strong kick in the ribs. “You agree, huh?” Cassidy said to her unborn children with a smile.
“Stop worrying,” Helen told Cassidy. “It never does any good anyway. There’s no way to stop the next minute from coming, and there’s no way to guarantee what it will hold.”
Cassidy laughed. She’d learned the truth of that simple statement the hard way. “I never thought she’d take the role of coach literally.”
“She is full of surprises,” Helen said.
“Mommy!” Mackenzie walked into the hallway covered in flour.
Cassidy covered her mouth and shook her head. “Where is Jacob?” she asked. As if on cue, Jacob appeared, his black hair resembling an older man’s salt and pepper gray.
“Cookies!” Mackenzie screamed in delight.
Barb peeked around the corner “Oh my, God! What? They were watching Cookie Monster. I just ran to the bathroom.”
Cassidy nodded. “What was that you were saying about the next moment?” she asked Helen.
Helen laughed and shrugged. “Like mother, like daughter—full of surprises,” she said. “Come on, Kenzie. You and me have a date with the bathtub.”
“Cookies, Ya…My cookies….”
Helen kept laughing. “We’ll talk cookies while we take a tubby.”
Cassidy watched as her mother-in-law and Barb steered the two toddlers up the stairs. She looked down at her belly and laughed. “God, help me. A bench full?” Cassidy kept chuckling as she left the room. She picked up her phone.
***
Alex hung up her phone and flopped onto the hotel bed.
“Everything okay?” Nick asked.
“Yeah.”
“You seem worried about something,” Nick observed. Alex smiled. “I’m sure Cassidy is fine, Alex.”
“She is. The kitchen apparently could use some help.”
“Come again?”
“Seems your son and my daughter decided to make cookies for Cookie Monster.”
Nick cringed. “Uh-oh.”
Alex laughed. “Eh, it’s flour. It’s white. It’ll blend in with the cabinetry.”
“That wasn’t Cass just now, was it?” he asked. Alex sighed. “Jonathan?” he guessed.
“Just some questions,” she said.
“Regretting leaving Carecom?” Nick asked.
“No,” Alex said. “I just hope that I don’t disappoint anyone.”
“You mean Cassidy?” he asked. “Come on, Alex.”
“No, I mean anyone. This is all new for me, Nicky. All of it.”
“You’ll be fine. Besides, you are the strongest person I know.”
Alex laughed. “No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. You always…”
Alex stopped her younger brother’s thought. “No, Nicky, you’re wrong. I’m not the strongest person you know. I’m married to her.”
***
Alex glanced over at the room’s sleeping occupants. She opened the small envelope that Cassidy had packed in her bag. She slid the card out and smiled. The card depicted waves crashing against the shore at sunset.
Alex,
It’s strange to me sometimes. I know there was a time in my life when you were not in it. It seems so far away to me now that I can barely recall it. Remember that first time you took me to the ocean? I sat across from you, looking into your eyes. I couldn’t have known then that we would stand in that same place and you would commit your life to me. Somehow, I did. At least, I knew that you loved
me. I knew that night, just looking at you, that I never wanted you to leave. Strange how life brings us together, isn’t it?
Every time I see the ocean, I think of you. I miss you the moment you leave, whether it is for a few moments or for days at a time. I’m sitting here writing this. It takes me back to the first time you went away, the hollowness I felt in my heart. The joy I felt at the simple sound of your voice on my phone. And now, here I am watching our daughter line the kitchen floor with my pots and pans—our daughter. Our son is calling for you in the distance, and I can feel the new life we are creating moving inside me. I had to write this. I had to tell you that through all the changes, all the loss, and the sadness, all the questions that never seem to have answers—I have never been happier in my life. I have never loved you more, yet I know I will love you more when tomorrow comes. I wouldn’t change one moment, not one. Because, if I sought to change even one thing that has come to pass, I might not have had the chance to love you. I might not be watching our children as they grow. I might not have you to miss, even for a moment.
I’m not the poet you always claim me to be. I’m not perfect, nor am I sure of many things. I am sure of you. I am sure that when the final sunset falls, it will be your arms greeting me, just as mine will always be waiting to hold you. Through all the joy and all the sorrow, you give me peace and purpose. You have given me the strength to face anything, knowing I am not alone. Thank you for loving me, Alex.
I will see you in a few days.
Je t’adore, my love. I can never hope to tell you what you mean to me.
À toi pour toujours,
Cassidy
Alex closed the card. She closed her eyes and pictured Cassidy the first time they had traveled to the beach. Cassidy was leaning back with her eyes closed and the wind blowing softly through her hair. Alex felt a tear slip over her cheek. When she took a minute to think about it, and she had thought a great deal about it, no one had suffered more, lost more, or had more to fear than Cassidy. No matter what came to pass, Cassidy had always remained steadfast—steadfast in her love for Alex. Also, steadfast in her compassionate heart. She’d questioned. She’d cried. Alex had never seen her wife truly falter, not even once.
Alex had once told Dylan that Cassidy was her hero. She opened her eyes and glanced at the sleeping boy beside her. He was so much like his mother. He was beginning to show a striking resemblance to John Merrow. But, Dylan’s heart, Dylan’s kindness, his need to give, that was Cassidy. Alex closed her eyes again. Cassidy was more than the love of Alex’s life. She was Alex’s harbor, Alex’s anchor, Alex’s guidepost, Alex’s hero. Alex picked up her phone. She waited and listened for Cassidy’s voice and the signature beep.
“Just closing my eyes, picturing the ocean. Thank you for the note. Your wrong, Cass. It’s always been you who has given me strength, given us all strength. I learn from you every day. I still have a lot to learn, so I’m glad you are so patient. I’m watching Dylan sleep. I love you both so much, Cass. All of you…I promise I will be the best coach I can be. I might need your help once in a while. Maybe we could take a ride to the ocean when I get back one day, if you are up to it, just the two of us. Before it becomes just the six of us,” Alex said with a chuckle. “I’ll see you Sunday.”
Alex closed her eyes and let herself fall away. Miles apart, yet she felt Cassidy holding her. “Je vais passer l’éternité as t'aimer (I will spend eternity loving you). I promise. Je t’aime, Cass.” I promise.
The End
The Alex and Cassidy Series
Intersection
Betrayal
Commitment
Conspiracy
Other Books by Nancy Ann Healy
Falling Through Shooting Stars
Conspiracy (Alex and Cassidy Book 4) Page 39