by Ashley Logan
"I would not complain about a fashion show," he said with a smile in his voice as he kept his eyes low.
"You will not see much if you are looking at your boots," I mumbled, viewing the clothes I'd packed for a life that didn't exist. "It will be a fashion show of the old Natascha. The silly one, who danced around singing and believing in lies. She never thought about monsters."
"Then it'll be perfect," he said, stepping closer to inspect the contents of my suitcase. "You're right. These clothes do not belong to a ninja," he added, pulling out a pair of sequined hot pants. "Were these Saskia's?"
Snatching them from him, I buried them deep under the other things. "No."
He viewed me more carefully. "Natascha never wore them when she was wearing her other sexy little things for Niko."
"Maybe because Pachenko came back and ruined all the fun," I muttered, pushing him out of my way.
"He's not here now."
I whirled around to look at him and he blushed.
"Sorry. That slipped out. I know you don't want to forgive me. I know I ruined what we had. Doesn't mean I don't miss it." Holding up a hand, he backed off another step. "I'll shut up. I promise." He illustrated his dedication by keeping his mouth attached to his flask as he sank to the floor to sit against the opposite wall.
Watching him a moment, I sighed. "I'm sorry I broke your chair."
"Don't be. It was a good idea." Frowning, he jumped up again and pulled his own bag up onto the bed. Tipping out his things, he turned the duffel bag inside out. Reaching into a hole in the lining, he started pulling things out. My scissors, nail file and two knives that I'd never seen before in my life.
Setting the knives next to my pile of ninja clothes, he took another drink from his flask and began refilling it. That done, he repacked his gear and stowed it away again before nabbing the flask and taking another drink.
"The chair was good when you had no other weapons, but tomorrow you'll have these. I'll show you some things in the morning."
Moving back to sit against the wall again, he began making himself comfortable.
"Thank you." Looking back at my suitcase, I bit my bottom lip. "You don't have to sit on the floor. I'll move this," I said, flipping the lid closed and dragging it off the end of the bed. "You sit there now."
Sighing, he heaved himself off the floor and did as he was told.
Settling onto my knees, I pulled out a small pile of never-before-worn clothes I'd purchased for my new life as a famous singer. I had been thinking about what my brand might look like and bought a few experimental things to see what suited best for a girl from a broken home, who danced in a ballet studio by day and a strip club at night. A girl who dreamed of being a star, but also studied sports massage, because bodies were so interesting.
I held up the little red sequined shorts.
"Maybe is not a fashion show? Maybe is a concert with wardrobe changes?"
I turned at the scuffling sound behind me and found him lying on his stomach and peering over the end of the bed at me.
"For real?" he asked, his eyes wide as he studied my face.
"When else will I get to sing as Natascha Rebane in these tiny shorts? Or this little silver dress? They will stay on the ship, and I am sure I will change my name so I can never again be found by my father or whoever wants to make me a slave. I doubt I will even sing in public again, for fear that someone might recognize me and he find out. I definitely do not want to be famous anymore."
Nikolai frowned. "But it's your dream. You're amazing."
I shook my head. "I will hide in a mysterious city and find a new way to be me. It will be fine. I will be able to sing in the shower there, so I will be fine."
"Natascha," he said softly.
I shook my head and finished my vodka. "Natascha Rebane in concert. One night only. You want to come or not?"
"Of course," he replied instantly. "I'd be honored. Not sure I deserve such an offer, but heck yeah I want to see it."
Looking over my shoulder, I squinted at him. "Deserve? You should remember that without you, there would be no Natascha Rebane. Now fill up my glass."
"Yes Ma'am." Taking it as I held it up, he refilled it at the desk while I changed into the shorts.
Turning at the sound of his cursing, I watched him trying to mop up vodka with Pachenko's shirt.
"Do you have to change in front of your audience?" he muttered, lifting the non-absorbent shirt and grumbling again at the puddle still beneath it.
I handed him my towel. "Here."
Reaching for it, he got distracted by my bare breasts and knocked the vodka again. Catching it before it fell, he swore again and kept his eyes on the mess he was cleaning.
"Does Natascha Rebane sing topless often?"
"Never. Well, not yet," I teased, laughing when he fumbled again. "You are so silly sometimes, Niko. They are just body parts."
"Yeah. Gorgeous fucking body parts that I love seeing, and touching, and licking," he muttered, not looking up.
My pulse thundered through my body. If I'd been pouring a drink, I might have spilled it too.
He looked up then. Right when my cheeks were flaming, my thighs were twisting together, and my breasts felt round and full as my nipples pointed at him in accusation. Damn him.
His eyes darkened and he stood tall.
"Maybe we've had enough vodka."
I blinked at him. Several times. Or maybe I was fluttering my lashes.
Getting a hold on myself, I tossed my hair behind me and batted a hand at him.
"Lies. Is never too much vodka. Where did you hear such a thing? America? Maybe I should not go. Stay on boat and drink." Holding out my hand for my glass, I beckoned with my fingers when he didn't move.
Sighing, I took the sheer black crop top from the small pile of clothes and pulled it on.
"Now can I have my drink?"
"I can still see your breasts through that," he pointed out as he handed me my glass.
"Lucky you," I said with a wink as I took a gulp of vodka. "Maybe just enjoy the show."
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he exhaled loudly. "It's starting to feel like the show Saskia gave me."
"You going to run out during this one too?" I asked, shoving my suitcase into the bathroom and closing the door again.
"Not a chance," he replied quietly. "I'm just worried your audience will enjoy the show too much. What expectations do you have?"
"No expectations." With a shrug, I eyed the space I could move around in. "You worry too much. I will just sing, and you will maybe forget that you like breasts and that breasts like you."
"You lie."
Sighing, I put my hands on my hips again. "I said maybe, so I tell truth. You will maybe even laugh at how different I will make song sound."
He paused in thought and looked at me sideways. "Why? What are you singing? Heavy metal?"
Laughing, I wobbled my hand back and forth.
"Maybe. It will not sound like your most angry music, but yes. I will sing songs from your collection. I know many of them quite well."
"Okay then," he said agreeably as his shoulders relaxed and he pulled himself back to lean against the wall. "I can probably handle that. Do you need anything? Water?"
Shaking my head, I took another sip of vodka and set it down as I shook out my body and took several deep breaths.
"This was a good idea. I have not thought about performing since I left Tallinn. It is very distracting. And vodka is good. I feel almost myself."
"Almost?"
Turning my back to him, I raised one shoulder. "I have to pretend that it is not you I am singing to - until I am started, otherwise I will feel... wrong things for performance. So still myself, but also needing to pretend some. You ready?"
"Ah... yeah. Yes. Very. I want to know which songs you choose."
"You will know very quickly when I sing first line. It is quite different though - my style, so... have open mind, maybe."
"I've heard you
r voice," he reminded me. "That's why I can't wait to hear it singing my playlist."
Nodding, I took several more deep breaths and closed my eyes, pretending I was back singing in a club. I'd chosen the first song because it suited him, and me, and the situation, but my style of course would change its usual hard masculine vocals into something a little more alternative and folksy; soft and slow, almost jazz-like in nature.
As soon as I'd sung the first words of Welcome to the Jungle, I turned around, eager to see his face.
I loved it.
His eyes were stretched wide to take in as much of me as possible. No longer leaning back against the wall, his body pitched forward as if ready to pounce. The open flask in his hand was forgotten as it dripped onto the blanket.
He was all mine.
I hadn't expected such an intense, hungry-for-more reaction, but I knew it was exactly what I'd secretly hoped for.
His eyes made my body hum and I turned the restlessness I felt inside into dancing movement. I hadn't meant for the song to come across this way, but there was no stopping it.
Smiling as I sang, I danced over to him on my toes and set the flask properly back in his hand before spinning my way back to the 'performance area' where I proceeded to lose myself in the song.
High notes were followed by deep, seductive softness that even made me swoon.
I floated this way and that, naturally channeling the feelings in the room and every dance lesson I'd ever had. Using everything from classical ballet, to Saskia's naked dancing, I worked to create the right mix of softness, and bite, with a feminine strength that felt like a tightly coiled spring of power behind my words.
Finishing with a slow spin on a held note, I raised my face to his.
Staring at me in a way that set my insides tingling, he blinked several times as if coming out of a dream and remembering himself. He brought his flask to his lips and drank.
"You liked it?"
Lowering his flask, he wiped his mouth.
"Liked it?" he croaked out before dragging his hand down his face and clearing his throat. "That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen - or heard, in all my life. I'll never be able to listen to that song in the same way again. I was not expecting that. At all. I'm... totally blown away. Seriously," he added, rising off the bed as my eyebrows lifted in disbelief. "I- The whole thing made me- It was-"
A frustrated growl escaped him as he gestured at me, then to his very prominent erection, the ceiling, and then he plastered his palm to his forehead and sat back down.
"It was really good. You're the whole package. I can't believe they took you for their sick shit. I mean I can; you're a beautiful girl, but I'd have stolen you for your talent, not for... sex," he said, his voice trailing off. "That was stupid to say. I didn't mean it literally - it's not my actual opinion, just an observation from the criminal perspective. A throw away comment. Sorry. I'll shut up."
He tilted his flask up again and I moved in front of him, taking it and finishing it myself before tossing the empty vessel onto the desk and crossing my arms over my chest.
"Are you saying I am not talented at sex as well?"
"What? Fuck no. That's definitely not something I would ever say about you. You are- I just-" He stopped and looked at me properly a moment as if he may have misunderstood the question. "What?"
Pulling himself backwards, further onto the bed, he shook his head. "I have to stop talking now. I don't understand what I'm meant to say."
"Meant to say?" I asked. "What do you want to say?"
Shaking his head, he shifted back a little more. "I'm very sure I'm not meant to say that."
"You liked the way I sang the song and it makes you want to fuck me?" I suggested. "Is basically what you said, yes?" I tried to recall his exact words. "Sexiest fucking thing you ever see or hear?"
"Uh, yeah," he said in a whisper. "But I wasn't meant to say that."
"No? Is compliment. Yes? It was feeling sexy to me too. I did not think it would, but is actually very sexy song."
"Yeah," he whispered, easing himself backwards again; away from me. "Definitely, the way you sing it. Then you went and mixed it with the way you move, and that outfit," he said through his fingers as he held them over his mouth.
His eyes wouldn't quit looking at me. All of me. They roamed constantly and everywhere they went blazed to life. My skin felt hot and I became restless inside all over again.
"Mm, you said. Whole package."
Breathing a little faster, I took a step back myself and bumped into the desk. Picking up the glass I'd left there, I drank down the vodka.
"Another song," I said, taking the last of the bottle and holding it out to him.
He wouldn't take it. "I don't think we should drink anymore. It's too hard to think as it is."
"We have been drinking all our lives, Niko. We are not drunk from so little. Maybe you should not think so much? Maybe you would be less scared of bodies and what they are saying."
Resting the bottle against his jean-clad leg where his dick was trapped against his thigh, I left it with him and bent to sweep the little silver dress from the floor.
"Another song. You will like, I promise."
"That's what I'm afraid of," he muttered as he unscrewed the cap from the vodka.
"And I say not be scared. Is good show. Good distraction. Make you feel alive. This is what I am feeling like."
Turning my back to him, I pulled off the black top and slid into the slinky silver dress. He made a choking sound and I smiled to myself as I rolled my eyes.
"Nikolai, you are a grown man. What I am doing is not that exciting. Is just change of clothes."
He grunted in agreement and the vodka sloshed against the bottle as he took another drink.
"I was thinking we'd play a game of cards, not a dangerous game like... tease the hitman."
"We can play cards next," I said with a shrug as I peeled the little shorts off and tossed them and the black top out of my way so I wouldn't trip on them. "It is a long night and I will not sleep knowing tomorrow is big - like child at Christmas. Too much waiting makes it hard. Is also my birthday before Christmas, so extra hard for me. Two nights together. I am good at cards though. Especially poker. I will win all your chocolate."
"The chocolate's already yours, and I wouldn't want it anyway," he said gruffly.
Turning back to him, I ran my fingers over the silky fabric covering me to mid-thigh. "What will we play for then?"
His eyes followed my fingers. "We'll think of something," he said before squeezing his eyes shut. "Or we can play for nothing. Or not poker. Something else. Snap?"
Laughing quietly, I shook my head. "You are being sweet, Niko. Is sexy too. Drink your vodka and I will sing for you."
Needing no further encouragement, he nursed the bottle as his eyes remained glued to me.
Before I'd even sung two lines of a haunted variation of 'You're the One that I Want', he was totally entranced. By the end, the vodka was gone and so was his resolve to be some do-good gentleman. I took one step towards him, intent clear on my face, and he met me immediately.
Pulling me into his arms, he took my mouth in a vodka kiss that made my head spin.
"Yes," I cried when I broke free. "Feel alive with me Niko."
Grabbing his hair, I pulled him back to my lips, swallowing his responding growl. Within seconds he had me pinned against the wall and his hands under my dress. Gentle fingers spent too little time in any one place, leaving my skin begging for more and I twisted and writhed trying to make his touch last longer.
Tugging at his tank top, I trembled and let it slip through my fingers as he touched me between my legs.
"So fucking wet," he mumbled into my skin as his rubbing sent me into a panting, moaning frenzy. "You loved singing for me as much as I loved it. God, I hope you've never sung like that for anyone else. I'd have to kill them."
I laughed for maybe a breath before he took that breath away by sliding his finge
rs home.
"I wasn't joking," he growled, taking my ear between his teeth. His fingers scissored inside me as he continued to work my clit and I found I could only cling to him or press myself to the wall at my back as he wound me higher and tighter.
"I never sing like that ever. Only tonight. Only for you. Niko!"
My body arched against the wall, then curled into him as my pleasure pulsed around his fingers. Stroking it from me till the last, he was breathing as hard as I was when he leaned his forehead against the wall.
"Good."
"Why are you stopping?" I asked, rolling my head to rest against his.
Laughing a little, he met my eyes and his pleasant smile vanished, replaced by a much hungrier grin.
"Not stopping," he assured me as he jostled me a little higher and wrestled with his fly. Moments later he was pushing inside an inch at a time. With his hooded eyes intent on mine, his muscles flexed beneath my fingers until he was nestled snuggly against me.
"I've missed you," I whispered in his ear.
"I've missed you too. So much," he replied sweetly, kissing me in a slow, loving motion. Rocking me against the wall just as softly, he reminded me how much I meant to him. Always holding back to keep me safe.
"You can be more rough, Niko. I will not break."
Running his nose up my neck, he mumbled in disagreement.
"I'm enjoying you. Selfishly. I plan to enjoy you as many times as you'll let me, but if I take you hard and fast, you won't want to play sexy cards with me. We can finish with rough if you still want it then."
I shivered as his breath tickled my skin, but really it was the words I was reacting to.
"Sexy cards sounds good. We play naked?" I asked as he struggled to pull my dress up further. Giving up, he sucked my nipple through the fabric. I gasped again at the feeling and he groaned as my sex twitched around him.
"Naked. With this on. I don't care. If you win, I'll lick you till you moan. If I win... maybe you'll suck every bit of your sweet juice off my cock?"
My insides clenched again and he groaned. "You like that idea."
It wasn't really a question, but I answered on a sigh as I felt myself rising again. "Yes."
He pulled out abruptly, but before I could orientate myself enough to unleash my disappointment on him, he tugged me to the bed.