I had problems with premature ejaculation in my early twenties. That always made me feel pretty limp, literally and figuratively.
If you have such problems, try using a condom to dull the sensations and slow blood flow. If you already use one, add a second. It really helps.
A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:
My wife had been home alone one weekend while I worked on an emergency project at work. She had spent the whole day reading erotica, watching dirty home movies, and getting very aroused while waiting for me to get home to take care of her needs. I, on the other hand, was furious that I had to work that day. When I got home I was angry and in no mood for sex, but my wife looked so sexy lying there in her lingerie, practically making a puddle on the sheet.
The embarrassing part? Well, I tried but was not able to rise to the occasion. Although my wife was very understanding, I felt really awful, like a failure somehow.
A third common thread was being interrupted by… well, let them tell it.
A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
We had a roommate who didn’t believe in knocking, and he walked in on us when I was on top. I ducked under the covers so fast!
A thirty-one-year-old woman wrote:
Actually I think the most embarrassing was one night right before my second husband and I were married. He was on top, just ramming away, when he must have heard my bedroom door jiggle, so he grabbed the covers and rolled off the side of the bed so quickly that I didn’t really know what was happening. When I looked around, I found myself lying there naked without hope of a cover, facing my eight-year-old daughter! The rat was quietly scooting deeper under the bed! Later he had the nerve to laugh!
A sixty-nine-year-old man wrote:
My lady and I were interrupted by the conductor while making love in a compartment of a European train.
A forty-two-year-old man wrote:
The most embarrassing time was when my son, age two at the time, came in and sat on my back while I was atop my wife. When I collapsed, mortified, he yelled, “More horsie, Daddy.”
A fifty-year-old man wrote:
I’ve got to go back to when I was in college.
It was a nice summer day and my girlfriend (now my wife) and I were tooling around on my little red motorcycle enjoying the sunshine, hormones flowing through our young bodies. We parked the bike by a beach, walked a bit, and came upon a beautiful grassy lawn overlooking the water.
Well, one thing led to the next and before you knew it we were on the grass, butt naked, getting it on. The only thing missing was violin music and rose petals. Out of nowhere a voice screamed, “Get out of my backyard!”
We looked up and saw this old woman running toward us, yelling and screaming, “Where do you think you are?” and “What are you, a couple of dogs in heat?” etc. We jumped up, grabbed our clothes, and started running, with about a twenty-five-yard lead on the old lady. We stopped long enough to put our pants and her top back on and ran back to the bike, underwear in hand, people staring at us, and this old woman still charging after us screaming!
We jumped on, kicked the starter, and took off, never looking back! What a memory. We laugh about it to this day, although it wasn’t so funny at the time.
A nineteen-year-old woman wrote:
The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me while having sex was when my husband, then my boyfriend, and I got caught by the cops. We were at a place that some of our friends had gone to and so we thought it would be okay.
We had just barely gotten started when the cops pulled up. They knocked on the window and so I hurried and pulled my pants back on. Let me tell you, it’s not an easy task in a car anyway, much less when you’re nervous as hell. My husband acted very casual about the whole thing, like it was no big deal, while they searched my husband and the car and my purse, looking for drugs I guess. We didn’t get into any trouble, but it was so embarrassing.
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
My partner and I were on the floor in my office when the cleaning lady started to open the door. Quick as a flash my lover scrambled behind the door and I quickly started typing on my computer. The lady walked into the room and said, “Oh, I didn’t think anybody was here.”
“I was working late,” I said, and asked whether she could come back later. Shaking her head sadly at the idea that someone had to work so late, the cleaning lady agreed and left. The whole time, my lover was standing behind the door with his pants down, grinning at me.
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
The most dreadful was one year when I was home for vacation from college. My father came into my room while I was in the shower and found my then-boyfriend sound asleep and naked in my bed. Oddly enough, we hadn’t even done anything that day. He had just dozed off because he was exhausted.
A thirty-six-year-old man wrote:
We got caught in the middle of the night by the police doing the deed on a jungle gym in a local park.
Here are a few more unique experiences.
A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
I remember when my ex’s penis hit my gag reflex while I was performing oral sex and I threw up. Ugh!
A twenty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
The worst was when his dog lay next to us on the floor chewing the crotch out of my panties. I guess it wasn’t too bad, though, since my boyfriend and I didn’t stop.
A thirty-two-year-old woman wrote:
I fell asleep! I’m laughing just thinking about it. It was a few days after I first met my hubby, and we had been up all night and all day for two days straight. Nothing but partying, clubbing, and fucking! We were in the middle of going at it again when I just fell asleep. We were kissing and I accidentally bit down on his tongue when I dropped off. I felt terrible, but he was good about it and understood!
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
My new husband and I were on a long bus trip to a family reunion. It was well after dark and both of us were really bored. Although it was midsummer the air conditioner was revved up and it was really chilly so we had been cuddling beneath a thick blanket. My hubby unbuttoned my sweater but kept it closed, then slipped his fingers up through the leg hole of my shorts. He made me come a few times but I was pretty quiet about it. I remember that I covered it up with a make-believe coughing fit so violent that one of the ladies on the bus asked if I wanted some water. I politely declined.
Then I went to work on him. He had on sweatpants so I grabbed his already hard cock. I hadn’t realized that he had picked up his coffee cup and when he came he made an odd sound and dropped the cup in the aisle. As several people bent over to help him clean up the mess, I quickly closed my eyes, removed my hand, and acted like I was asleep. Later, as I wiped my messy hand on the blanket, I realized that it wasn’t our blanket. Ouch.
A twenty-two-year-old man wrote:
Once, before I’d lost my virginity, I was getting it on with a girlfriend. Trying to be casual, I unzipped my pants and, since I wasn’t wearing underwear, my cock got caught in my zipper. She realized what had happened and tried to help.
I didn’t want to stop what we were doing so I continued to eat her pussy while she tried to get my penis free. Actually she made me come just by trying to remove my cock from my zipper. The final result was that the only pair of trousers I had were covered in a mixture of blood and come.
A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:
I had had an IUD installed and a few night later I was really in the mood so I initiated things and got my boyfriend really hot. I told him that I wanted him to take me then and there and as he did the weirdest look came over his face and he got up from the bed.
It turned out that the IUD string had “stabbed” his member. I was really embarrassed and it kind of put a damper on our night.
A fifty-one-year-old woman wrote:
I had a wicked headache one night so my hubby went to get a cold compress and put it over my eyes. As I lay back to
let the cold do its work he started to kiss me softly and cuddle me. He was being so sweet and attentive that I wanted to do something for him, too. We moved to the sixty-nine position and the closer I got to having an orgasm, the more my head pounded. He was near, too, and I didn’t want to stop.
I didn’t make it. I vomited all over him, before he had a chance to come.
A sixty-two-year-old man wrote:
While home from college, my girlfriend and I were hard at it in my bedroom when the bed broke—the slats fell out. We were fixing it when my folks came home and it was no secret what had happened. My mother fled, the old man said “fix it,” and things were quiet around the dinner table for a few days.
WHAT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL THING THAT EVER HAPPENED WHILE MAKING LOVE?
Several people answered this question by saying that they discovered that they were actually in love. Take care. Love and lust are often confused. I will admit that in the first blush of lovemaking, particularly when I was quite young, I made that mistake and continued to see a boy who was really wrong for me. Fortunately I didn’t make any permanent commitments, but I’m afraid that this confusion contributes to our enormously high divorce rate.
Sex is great, and Mother Nature sees to it that we know it. Hormones provide animals with some strong drives, and we humans are no different from other life-forms.
With that said, the emotional connection with a partner during and after lovemaking is unsurpassed. Tears of joy, cuddling, warmth, and caring all combine to make lovemaking a most fabulous activity.
A fifty-one-year-old woman wrote:
Turning to look at him in the aftermath and seeing tears in his eyes is just terrific. He told me how lucky I was to come as hard as I do and how proud he was to be able to give me that much pleasure.
A twenty-seven-year-old man wrote:
The most wonderful thing is the explosive intermingling of love, desire, and lust that can incinerate you and your partner.
A fifty-one-year-old woman wrote:
Approximately three months after I started seeing my current partner, we had made love and he was holding me after we had both come. For the first time in my life I felt that I was in love and loved. It was a wonderful feeling and one that I won’t ever forget.
A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:
Hearing someone I’m in love with say my name is my favorite and most wonderful moment.
A fifty-nine-year-old man wrote:
Feeling close to another human being is great. It’s kind of like becoming one. It took months of close communication to set the stage but that first time and every time since have been worth anything in the world.
A thirty-two-year-old woman wrote:
I realized that I was in love while making love to the man who would become my husband! The realization that this was more than just sex made the experience just a little more wonderful!
A fifty-year-old man wrote:
Aside from conceiving our three children, I’d say just the closeness with each other, and the total complete sense of oneness is the best. We still appreciate and enjoy that aspect of our relationship.
A sixty-two-year-old man wrote:
The most wonderful thing that ever happened to me was when, still joined together after a warm, romantic lovemaking session in a small London hotel, my wife agreed to marry me.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
The most wonderful thing is the eye contact that my partner and I have during sex.
Then there are the orgasms themselves.
A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:
The best is the feeling of having an orgasm with an erect penis inside me.
A nineteen-year-old woman wrote:
The most wonderful thing that happens to me during sex is when my husband and I climax at the same time. It’s very rare, but when it happens, it’s great.
A twenty-eight-year-old woman wrote simply:
MULTIPLE ORGASM. [The capitals were hers.]
A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
To have one orgasm after another is so intense.
A thirty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I would say that female ejaculation is probably the best that has happened. It drives my hubby nuts.
A fifty-four-year-old man wrote:
Mutual climax is right up there.
Making children was the most wonderful thing for several women. For example:
A thirty-six-year-old woman wrote:
The most wonderful thing that has happened while making love was the creation of my two wonderful boys!!!
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
Making our son.
A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:
Her name is Faith Angelica and she will be two years old in June.
What did others who responded to the survey have to say about the wonders of great sex?
A sixty-eight-year-old man wrote:
Making videos of the lovemaking and then watching them with my lover is just wonderful. We love both activities.
A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:
There are times when I am able to slow down to the point of being on the verge of orgasm, but I haven’t yet fallen off the plateau. I am frozen except for a gentle pulse from my penis that courses through my body every so often. I simply lose all sense of time and space and I’m only aware of my pleasure and my wife. It doesn’t get any better than that.
A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:
The most wonderful thing that ever happened to me was when I saw the look of love in my boyfriend’s eyes as I was taking him in my mouth. He had never come in someone’s mouth before and he thought lovemaking was now complete for him.
A forty-five-year-old man wrote:
My most wonderful was the first time I had a partner go down and give me fellatio.
A fifty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
It’s all been pretty wonderful, but one of the best was getting to live out a fantasy we had talked about—making love on the beach on the Riviera.
It was our first trip to Europe and we had talked about the scenes from To Catch a Thief: the location, the characters, etc. When we went to Cassis in the south of France we sort of relived the movie, but with more detail.
I gave my lover a blow job on the rocks by the shore with the village in the distance and lights flickering in the harbor. The understanding French locals kept their distance but enjoyed the view, I think.
A thirty-nine-year-old man wrote:
The best was when my wife became willing to role-play during sex.
A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:
Learning how to pleasure my partner and being able to explore her lovely body (every nook and cranny) was the most wonderful.
A fifty-two-year-old man wrote:
One night my wife, a male friend, and I made love and orgasmed about seven times. Terrific!
A seventy-seven-year-old man wrote:
The most wonderful thing that happens to me is hearing my partner say “Don’t stop, I’m coming!” and having her throw her arms around me while she orgasms. That is the greatest thing I can think of.
A twenty-one-year-old woman wrote:
I’m still waiting to experience my first orgasm but I think the feeling of holding a man tight while he climaxes is so wonderful.
A sixty-nine-year-old bisexual man wrote:
I discovered my submissive second self.
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MASTURBATION
The Ways, the Games, the First Time
DO YOU MASTURBATE?
Okay, let’s move on to masturbation. Haven’t you ever wondered whether real people do? Well, they do!
Let me give you some statistics based on the surveys I received. This is probably a more liberated group than the average but, with that in mind, here’s what the numbers said.
Of the respondents, 98% of the men said they masturbate, while 96% of the women stated that they do. Of those who do masturbate, 24% of
the men and 25% of the women said they masturbate at least once a day, while 58% of the men and 55% of the women said they masturbate at least once a week.
As you might expect, 62% of the women said they use toys, while only 45% of the men claimed the same.
Just over 80% of both the men and women thought their partner knew that they masturbate but, strangely, only 60% of the men and 68% of the women thought their partners did it.
Naughty Secrets Page 6