Always Angel (The List #4)

by N. K. Love

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Jaxson. You’ve no idea what I’m capable of—I don’t either.”

  “You’re not a bad person, C. So why would you hurt an innocent woman for your own fictitious gains? That’s not what we’re about. Is it?”

  This time his tone is softer and she responds to him.

  “I don’t know anymore. Everything’s confusing me. You’ve broken my heart, Jaxson. I was happy to kill her, if it meant that it’d drive us closer together again, like how it was before… Remember that?”

  “That was never going to happen—”

  “Why? You think this, this girl is the answer? You need a strong woman, somebody who understands you! You’ve given up on your destiny to be with this... this two-bit shopkeeper!”

  “So, you’re jealous of her.”

  “Her! Bloody hell, you think I’m jealous of her? Give me a break! If anything, I pity the poor thing. You’ve reeled her in and you’re using her. I know that, she doesn’t, but we do, don’t we? She can’t satisfy you.”

  “I love her, Carmel.”

  She laughs again.

  “Love? What do you know about love? If you were even capable of it you would’ve seen what’s been right under your nose for the last three years, four months and twenty-eight days! You belonged in the darkness, with me, until now.”

  “You’re wrong. I thought I did, but I was just hiding from myself. So, you can carry on living like that Carmel—thinking you’ve found comfort in the darkness, where there’s no shadows to haunt you… But, life doesn’t work like that.”

  “My life works the way I want it to. I am in control. Nobody tells me what to do!”

  By this point, Carmel is pacing the narrow space between Jax and I.

  “Nobody, let alone a child, should ever have to go through what happened to you, Carmel. Your father did all he could to get you the best treatment money could buy—”

  “Yeah and then I paid them double to keep their gobs shut throughout every appointment. As if I’m going to sit there, listening to the robotic spiel of some jumped-up suit, labelling me as a victim! Me?! No thank you! And then you—”

  Interrupted by a knock on the door from above, it creaks open and the young man standing at the top of the stairs simply nods at the man behind me. The other man, behind Jax, steps forward to address Carmel.

  “You’re second target has arrived.”

  “My instructions still stand.”

  Stepping back again, he turns to the man at the top of the stairs, who’s waiting like a disciplined soldier.

  “Do the job. Don’t disturb us again.”

  “No, Carmel. You don’t have to do this. None of this has anything to do with Jack. Just like me, he’ll believe all this was Samara. He won’t have a clue it’s you down here. Carmel, let him leave here alive—”

  “Careful, Jaxson. That could be construed as pitiful begging.” Walking to stand beside us with her arms folded, she continues. “I agree though, it is a shame… Anyway, it’s done now… So, where were we?”

  The sound of a gunshot pierces the air from above, rapidly followed by two more. Carmel doesn’t even flinch. Jax looks straight at me and shakes his head. My eyes widen. I struggle left and right, the cable ties digging into my wrists, probably breaking the skin. I don’t care. My heads flops forward with my eyes screwed shut. I seem to zone out from everything else around me. I can’t believe it.

  Jack. Lovely Jack. They’ve killed Jax’s best friend because of me.

  “Sit. Down.”

  The demanding voice snaps me out of my bubble and when I look back up, I see Jax towering over Carmel, with the man who spoke directly behind him. Then I realise that I have a gun pressed against the side of my head.

  Jax backs off, resuming his position on the chair opposite, but doesn’t make eye contact with me.

  Carmel’s pointy heels take two steps forward until she’s standing between us, facing me, blocking my view of Jax. She snaps her fingers in front of my face, until I look up into her evil eyes. Putting her forefinger against her lips, she shushes me. I hadn’t even realised I was making a sound.

  Swiveling on the spot, she puts her hands on her slim hips.

  “As I was saying… You crossed the first line by telling her about my private life… How could you?”

  “How could you, Carmel? Jack was our friend.”

  Turning to reach behind her, she grabs a fistful of my hair, but not tight.

  “Answer me.”

  “Okay. I’ll play your game. Now, get your fucking hand off her.”

  Carmel lets go immediately and gestures for him to carry on.

  “We have no secrets between us. Like I said, C. I love her. I’d die for her and I’d sure as hell kill for her. Presumably thanks to you, I already have and I’ve no qualms in doing it again.”

  “Big deal!” She throws her hands up in the air and starts walking around the room again. I search his hardened face, willing him to look at me so I can see what’s going on inside his head. But still, those forest green eyes are ablaze with rage and locked solely on her. “I’ve killed for you too.” She shrugs like it’s a minor confession.

  “For me? Who?”

  “Hmm. Let me see… There was that rapist manager from your gym. Remember? You asked me to deal with him for you… So I did.”

  “Carl? You killed Carl? Jesus fucking Christ, Carmel! I asked you to shake him up, to punish him, just like normal. You know I didn’t ask for that!”

  “Well, you seemed pretty cut up about it. I wanted to help.”

  “Help? Fuuuck! I trusted you.”

  “What do you know about trust?!” She barks. “That’s exactly why we’re here now. Do you think I wanted it to end up like this? My plans are ruined because you betrayed me! You betrayed my trust and that of my fathers… So, what have you got to say about that, ‘boss’!?”

  Jax glances over at me and I’m desperate to tell him how sorry I am. All I can do is give him a shrug of resignation because now he knows that this part of the nightmare is down to me and my big mouth. Who knows whether her threat against Wills held any weight, but I certainly didn’t realise that by opening my gob, I was putting Jack and Jax at risk.

  “Okay. So, that’s the fly in the ointment that fucked up your master plan?”

  “Yes. I was willing to give you another chance, but you ruined that… I was going to heal you. We could’ve healed each other, but you chose her. You chose to stab my father in the back like a coward, throwing years of hard work down the drain—for what? So you could be with her?”

  “C, I didn’t take that decision lightly. I loved the Unit and I loved your father. He and I had a mutual understanding. He trusted my intuition. It was my call and nothing to do with you… It looks to me like you were using your contracts as a way to make you feel better about your shortcomings in life—I get that, in a way, I was too. But the Unit isn’t your passage to a wholesome life and a ticket to heaven… Not when you’re rotten to the core. No amount of retribution is going to fix your kind of evil!”

  I’ve been persistently pushing my tongue between my lips, wetting the tape enough for me to start rubbing my lips together, each time dragging the tape bit by bit, away from my skin. Jax isn’t letting up.

  “You need to come down off your high horse, Jaxson, and remember who you’re speaking to. The truth is that my father will be turning in his grave—”

  “Yes, he will be. But not because of anything I’ve done. It’s you he’d be disappointed with. He loved you, Carmel, but he could never fully trust you. He told me as much! He said he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something just wasn’t right with you… You know, he’d be ashamed with the person you’ve become.”

  “You don’t know anything!”

  Carmel is getting het up. She’s started fidgeting again, incessantly scratching her nails over her bare arms. Jax won’t have noticed, but I have. He’s pushing her to the edge and he still looks set to destroy
her. I carry on wetting the tape, drawing it away from my face whilst opening my mouth as wide as possible. The tape is loosening.

  “He set the Unit up to help him grieve the loss of his wife and for what you went through. He did it to fight against crimes like the ones you’re committing right now. You’ve disgraced him. So, if anybody has betrayed your father, it’s you, Carmel—and you know it!”

  In one swift stride, Carmel steps forward and slaps Jax hard against his face.

  “Stop talking. You have no right. You didn’t know him like I did.”

  “I know that he didn’t trust you to hand over the title when he was on his deathbed. But he trusted me and that’s what’s hurting you the most. It’s not just that I didn’t tell you, is it? It’s that the one person you loved in the world not only didn’t trust you to let you take over, but he didn’t tell you that he’d chosen me!”

  “I’ve had enough of this—”

  “What’s the matter, Carmel? You know I’m not the type of person to walk in here and pander to you, no matter how much muscle you hire. Didn’t you think it’d pan out like this? Did you think I’d roll over and beg for forgiveness? Or were you hoping I’d pledge my undying love for you so we could run off into the sunset together?”

  “Stop it!”

  Shit. I need to shut him up.

  “You are delusional and after what you’ve done, I fucking hate you. I’ve had enough of this too, it ends now!”

  “Yes, yes it does. I was going to be kind and have these men kill you both quickly. But maybe you’re right. I am the twisted type that’d prefer to kill you slowly and watch you suffer! I am that sadistic!”

  Holy fuck.

  “YOU!!”

  They both turn their heads to face me, as surprised to hear my voice as I am.

  Those were the words used to describe Jax… I remember it clearly. When Jax sees tears in my eyes, he instinctively goes to stand, but the man behind him roughly shoves him back down by his shoulder.

  “Who told you to speak…? Put that tape back on her mouth.”

  “Don’t fucking touch her.” Jax warns him.

  “Wait!” I rub the side of my face on my shoulder, freeing the end of the tape that was still attached to my cheek. “It was you, Carmel!”

  “What are you wittering on about?”

  My jumbled thoughts run around my head, trying to fit into place like a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. I quickly do the calculations to back up my confusing suspicions and I’m right. I hate her now more than ever!

  “The depths of your obsession is unfathomable. You’re a fucking lunatic Carmel, you’ve let evil take root inside of you. You’re a sad, lonely freak show—”

  “Jaxson, I think we’d better muzzle your crazy bitch and teach her some manners.”

  “It was you all along, wasn’t it?! You warned Sarah Juke to stay away from Jax.”

  “Who the bloody hell is Sarah Juke?”

  “Samara’s girlfriend!” On those words Carmel’s face flickers from irritation to panic, quickly indicating for the man behind me to cover my mouth again.

  “That’s not right, Angel. I didn’t know her back then.”

  I hear the man walk over to the table, where the roll of tape was left. I can’t think quick enough to get my words out.

  “You didn’t know her, but she must’ve known you. After the years she’s known you, she said four months and twenty-eight days. That takes you back to January, isn’t that when Chloe died?” Jax looks above my head as the man approaches. “Sarah said it was a policewoman who visited her… But it was her, I just know it, Jax.”

  Jax ping-pongs his puzzled gaze from me to Carmel as my mouth is resealed with a strip of fresh tape.

  “Is that right, Carmel?”

  She stares at him, straight-faced, perhaps determining which hand to play. Then that familiar devious sneer rises over her pursed lips until her pale face is alight with a vindictive excitement.

  “Don’t you just hate it when somebody gives away the ending… Alright, alright. You got me!” She huffs out a dramatic sigh, holding her palms up, chuckling to herself. “Surprise, Jaxson! I wasn’t actually going to talk about this—it’s hardly paramount to the proceedings! Yet again, it seems your stupid ‘Angel’ has ruined my plans… Such a smart arse isn’t she?! Well, yes! It was me—”

  “How could it have been? We didn’t even know each other? How is that even poss—”

  “Jesus, Jaxson. If you want to hear me, you will have to bloody listen!” She pauses for a second. “When young Bethany here started poking her nose around I decided she had to go. I mean, she’s a gutsy little thing but I couldn’t have her sniffing around the Samara situation. So, that’s what sealed her fate… If you cast your mind back to that little whore you were shagging—Chloe, wasn’t it?” Jax nods, with a face full of angst. “It seems it wasn’t just you she was opening her legs for. Yes, that tramp of yours took it upon herself to accept drugs from my fiancé and fuck him as payment… So yeah, she’s not quite the delightful, vulnerable girl you described to me when we met!” My attention alternates between Jax and Carmel. The constant ripple of his jawline has me worried that he’s going to pounce on her at any minute and then they’ll kill him on the spot. “As you can all see, people don’t mess with what’s mine! I do not take kindly to it. So, I hired Samara to kill them both.” Jax slumps back in his chair, looking down into his lap as she continues. Carmel appears unaffected by the enormity of what she’s telling us and what it’ll mean to Jax. “Then as my cheating fiancé is about to be killed, he pleads for me not to hurt her. How heroic! Dean tells me she’s pregnant with his baby. He even had the bloody cheek to whip a scan picture out of his wallet. God, it makes me nauseous just recalling it. Apparently, once he found out she was shagging you, Joseph, instead of aborting it, the thick pair of idiots tried to hatch a plan. She was going to confess her undying love for you and tell you the baby was yours. Sound familiar?”

  Jax doesn’t look up. He just nods slowly, whilst absorbing everything she has to say.

  “Carry on.” He speaks quietly.

  “They wanted to take your money by fobbing the kid off as yours. I thought about it for a while—well, a minute—and figured that a bastard child, mothered by a whore who was fucking her drug dealer, who was incidentally engaged to me, doesn’t sound like the kind of life that should be brought into this world. I’m sure you’d agree. So, I told our friend Samara to cut her throat and be done with it. Trouble is, the wuss took the easy option and ran her over instead, which of course resulted in him being killed too because he would’ve been caught and squealed like a pig… So yeah, sorry to be the bearer of yet more bad news, Jaxson, but he was dead long before you were snorting your first line of coke, sweetie.” Carmel looks over at me and smiles. “Your day just keeps going downhill doesn’t it… What? Come on, it’s pretty funny when you think about it… No?”

  “Why? Why string me along with bogus sightings and pretend for all this time?”

  “That’s obvious isn’t it? It’s what I used to get you close and keep you near to me of course. You depended on me and it was such a wonderful feeling. You needed me and my contacts abroad.” Jax starts rocking slightly, back and forth. I know he is holding down his emotions but it’s likely he is going to crack at any minute. “Look, Jax, I know all of this, when put together makes me sound… I don’t know… a little crazy, maybe. But I’m not, not really. I’m just like you, I killed for what I thought was love. I know now that I didn’t love Dean, just like you would’ve realised that you didn’t love Bethany—not once you’d fallen in love with me. Now do you see how it was written in the stars all along, from day one? All of that was meant to happen to bring us together—”

  “Why me?”

  “I was there of course, that cold night in January.” She ignores him. “I don’t usually get my hands dirty, but I like to watch and I’m so glad I did. I saw the whole thing, how that whore suffered and die
d. But more importantly, I was blessed with the delightful surprise of seeing the ruthless, powerful millionaire brought to his knees. It was incredibly beautiful to watch you with her. How you held her, touched her, whispered words of comfort to her. So poetic. I decided there and then that I would have you as my own. I would bide my time knowing that eventually you would’ve been mine… You do realise that the only reason that isn’t happening now is because you betrayed me, just like Dean did? So it’s not my fault, not mine. These are consequences of your actions.”

  “How could you? How could I not know, all this time? Chloe didn’t deserve that. She was innocent Carmel. You’re the guilty one here.”