by N. K. Love
Saying Fuck It is second nature to me now. I’m not that overthinking, hectic-minded, control freak I once was and I have Willow and Jax to thank for that.
First thing Tuesday morning we set off with our hiking guide. We made it to the halfway point without too much effort but after a short break, we pressed on and barely said another word to each other—occasionally exchanging knowing facial expressions instead. It was hard work. When we reached the summit, it may have felt like my throat was bleeding but it was instantly worth every drop of sweat. ‘Breathtaking’ personified. I was so emotional when I stood up there, absorbing the spectacular panoramic views. As Jax got lost in conversation with the guide about hiking, I took a little time out to myself. Instead of slipping into a state of reflection, I stopped myself, believing that I was put in that moment, gazing out at that view, not to look back but to only look forward.
Startling me from behind, Jax enveloped me in his protective embrace, peering down at my face. He simply said, ‘I wish you’d smile, Angel. It’s the second best thing to do with your mouth… Or third… Okay, maybe fourth.’ Without saying a word I just looked into his irresistible green eyes and smiled the biggest smile, which told him, without question, how happy he makes me.
Yesterday our aching bodies could only manage a stroll along the local market where I bought lots of clothes and local produce. We then had an impromptu diversion to an art festival, which we stumbled across. We picked out a couple of pieces of artwork to be shipped home and I snuck off to buy Jax a thank you gift. It was a chunky, hand carved, wooden chain, showing the links broken in the middle, representing the abolition of slavery. He was so touched by the gesture and spent ages back at the cottage, admiring the craftsmanship.
“Welcome aboard… Wah gwaaan, bredda?”
“Everything criss. Jamaican?”
“Yah man.” Looking over, he addresses me next. “Gud mawnin, Princess. Come yah.”
Jax shakes the hand of the friendly, dreadlocked captain, which he’d clearly held out with the intention to help me aboard. Seemingly caught in a pissing contest, Jax climbs across then takes my hand and guides me safely over too.
The captain walks away, whilst telling us things that we should probably be listening to. Meanwhile, at the first discreet opportunity I turn and grab hold of Jax’s balls through his cream coloured shorts and squeeze just hard enough for him to open his mouth.
“Sorry, just checking they’re still intact, G” I let go slowly, smiling up at him. “For the record, he was just doing his job.”
His eyes sparkle in the sun, illuminating his playfulness.
“Unfortunately for him, ogling and touching you, isn’t in his job description. And for the record, taking care of you is my job.”
Kissing my nose sweetly, we go and make nice with the friendly captain as we set sail. The journey shouldn’t take long but I heard Jax ask if we could take our time. Yes, he is definitely feeling nervous.
Occasionally Jax even slips into Jamaican patois without even realising it. I use it as a subtle way to bring the conversation around to his family and he tells me that growing up, his dad always spoke patois in the house and standard English in business.
Thankfully, the more we talk, the more Jax seems to relax.
Jax tells me that Will had emailed him over a business proposition this morning. Apparently Will is looking into purchasing a warehouse and turning it into a gym that specialises in boxing with the added income attraction of hosting boxing events.
Resting back onto his chest, I silently hope, for the sake of Will, Sonia and Wills, that this will be the start of something great for them.
“So, is this him going legit?”
“He said that’s it for him. I think seeing you that day had more of an effect on him that he even realised.”
“Do you think you’ll invest?”
“Will has picked a great location and the numbers are looking hopeful. He’s a smart man who knows his stuff and it’s my kind of venture… I think I’ll go over it with my Dad and Jonty later, see what they think…”
“That sounds perfect.”
Jax unnecessarily points out the penthouse as we approach the shore. It’s huge, white and stunning. He asks the captain to anchor the yacht further down the beach. Being in such close proximity to his loved ones, I think he needs chance to psych himself up. We get transferred from the yacht to the sands via a small motorboat and wave the captain off until later. We’ve brought enough clothes to stay for a few nights but we’ve left them on the yacht as Jax said we’ll be sleeping there—I’m not sure if that’s because he wants to have his wicked way with me without his family hearing or because he finds it comforting, putting that distance between them at first.
We start walking hand in hand with our bare feet filtering the soft, white sand between our toes.
I sense his concern still.
“Jax, don’t forget that they’re lucky to have you. Just like me.”
“Yes, you do have me, all of me.”
“Every inch.”
I laugh and he squeezes my hand, giving me a wickedly handsome smile. When he squeezes my hand again, I look up and realise it’s for a whole other reason. We can see his family waiting for us. We’re still far away but I can make out somebody stretching their hand up high, waving and I know it’s Jonty. Without considering it, I automatically wave back and Jax relaxes his hand again.
“Life works in mysterious ways, Beth. Who would’ve thought this journey would lead us here?”
“Me… This is what I’ve always wanted; you and I, together, happy, no worries hanging over our heads. You, embracing your family again.”
Jax stops and turns towards the ocean, facing me.
“I could’ve lost you, B—”
“But you didn’t. You saved me—and I don’t just mean from Carmel.”
“I read your note.”
“Yeah?”
“What you said… the words you wrote to describe how you feel about me… It was like reading words taken straight from my own heart. I could never articulate it the way you did but do you know how I feel about you, truly?”
“Jax, you articulate yourself perfectly to me.”
Like the sexy magician that he is, one of his telltale charm boxes suddenly appears in his hand. How has he managed to ship that out here so quickly? With my love for every single charm he’s given me, I’m so excited to see what he’s chosen and what it depicts this time.
Holding my chin, he tilts it to the side and then touches the top of my cheekbone with tip of his little finger.
“There’s this incredibly tiny little freckle... Right there… hidden amongst its forty-seven larger peers and it happily sits there, proudly, knowing that its day will come. That little freckle may be the smallest but it’s about to grant me my biggest wish of all.” In a skipped heartbeat, Jax drops to one knee and I clasp my hands over my mouth and nose, in shock. Taking a deep breath, he smiles, holding out his hand for me to take. “Beth—”
“Oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-God.”
Putting both my hands in his outstretched palm, he kisses them to calm me a little.
“Beth, I didn’t think my crazy, fucked up jigsaw would ever be complete. Somehow with us combining our pieces together, it doesn’t seem as crazy anymore. It’s actually pretty perfect… You always say how strong I am. But the truth is, I was weak. Without realising, I’d given up. You, Beth, have given me my life back.” He dips his forehead forward, touching my hands. Then with a deep breath he continues. “In the beginning, you always said that you had lost your way and that I found you. But that’s simply not true… We were both lost, trying to find ourselves and at the same time our souls were searching for each other… I knew I was blessed the day you looked down on me from the balcony, like the angel that you are and have always been.” Opening the black, square jewellery box, it’s not a charm inside. Instead, he takes out the most exquisite diamond ring, with tiny diamonds all the way aroun
d the loop. He drops the box onto the sand. My heart is fit to burst as I realise that he’s chosen a halo design. “I love you, my Angel… Bethany Taylor, I wish you’d make me the happiest man alive. Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” I sob. “Jax, yes.”
That beautiful, timeless smile spreads all over his handsome face, whilst, with steady hands, he gently slides the ring onto my wedding finger. A second later I’m being swung around and then held tightly. We hear whistles and cheers coming from down the beach and soon realise that his family are rushing towards us to celebrate.
“You’re going to be my wife!”
The sunshine reflects the tropical waters in his smiling eyes. His excitement is infectious, bringing fresh tears to the surface. This man, this wonderful man, is going to be my husband.
“My heart always knew you were the one, Jaxson Carter.”
He smiles down at me.
“Always, Angel!”
The End
What’s Next?
Thank you so much for reading The List Series and giving me the chance to warm your lovely hearts and other parts. I feel incredibly privileged to be a part of this wonderful book community.
Writing these books has been so rewarding. Long may it continue as I jump into my next set of books and prepare to create another whole new world inside my mind that’s filled with fictitious faces and places, where anything can happen. The beauty of words…
Nothing compares to delving into a book and submerging yourself into others people’s lives (albeit fictional), letting the pages cocoon you and blur the lines between reality and fiction.
I have thoroughly enjoyed telling Beth and Jax’s story and really hope that I’ve put more than a few smiles on other people’s faces too.
Please take a moment to leave a review. After all, that’s how a lot of readers make their decisions as to which book to invest in next. Many thanks for giving your precious time to reading what I’ve written. That concept still blows my mind.
The Author
N K Love is a sucker for a beautiful romance, especially when it comes with a bucketful of face fanning. Her partner doesn’t share her obsession and there’s always eye rolling whenever she gets giddy or teary over a great scene in a book or on screen. When she isn’t reading or writing, she’s probably being a child with her children or being a loner with her coin collection. Yes, I said coin collection, don’t laugh!
Follow N K Love on Instagram @novelkindoflove for tempting teasers and daily interaction.
I’d really love to hear from you, so please drop me a message on Instagram or over on my Facebook page – Novel Kind of Love.
Acknowledgements
Firstly, a huge amount of gratitude to you, whoever you are. You are lovely. I’ve no idea what led you to picking this series but whatever it was, thank you! I often cross my fingers and hope that my books reach the eyes of like-minded people who will embrace the characters just like I do. Smiling is infectious and I really hope I can put smiles on faces of strangers. #JaxsAngelsRule
To my social media peeps. I can count on my hands the amount of people who know who N K Love really is. So you guys are pretty much the only people I interact with about writing on a daily basis. You won’t realise that your support means so much to me.
A very special mention to the founders of Jax’s Angels; Audrey, Lex and Em – Your selflessness and sheer loveliness is awe-inspiring. #3FS #justtoclarify #angelhugs #insyncangels #tribeforlife to name but a few! We’ve laughed, cried, shared and vented. I absolutely love you girls and your friendship means the world to me. Always in all ways!
To my real life heartthrob and alpha-male, who lets me dive into my crazy, beautiful book world whenever possible and who inspired me to create that world in the first place. You have and will always be my ‘4eva always’.
To my children, for continuing to blossom beautifully, even when Mommy was attempting to blossom a book… or four. You are my reasons for striving. Thank you for always reminding me not to take life too seriously.
To my big sister, the recipient of many random conversations when I wanted to bounce filthy ideas off her. I’m sorry your little sister isn’t as sweet and innocent as some would like to believe. Thank you for being the person to say ‘go for it’ and during the darker days, ‘keep going’. I needed to hear that.
To my little sister, who never got bored of hearing me say ‘Please can you…?’ and who continually comes through for me. My social media guru and technical genius. Having you at my fingertips has been imperative and I can’t thank you enough.
To Kimberley for the amazing proofreading—you are truly awesome! Thank you for lending me your brain and your precious time. I will be eternally grateful for your invaluable contributions.
The List
Fuck It List
1. Blowjob
2. Handjob
3. Cunnilingus
4. Sex in a workplace
5. Sex in a car
6. Sex in the shower
7. Multiple orgasm
8. Get a tattoo
9. Get a piercing
10. Sex on the beach
11. Phone sex
12. Cybersex / Sexting
13. Tantric sex
14. Get stoned
15. Use food / ice sexually
16. 69
17. Kiss a girl
18. Tie somebody up
19. Be tied up
20. Watch a porno alone
21. Watch a porno with a partner
22. Do a lap dance
23. Do a strip tease
24. Sexual role-play
25. Make a sex tape
26. Sex outdoors
27. Go to strip show / live sex show
28. Be spanked
29. Hit somebody
30. Kinky sex