The Christmas Cowboy Hero

by Donna Grant

  “Is that why you didn’t date?”

  She glanced away and took a deep breath. “Partly. I wasn’t sure their young minds would understand dating after what my mother did. And they were so scared I was going to leave them, that it became easier not to think about it.”

  “And now?” It probably wasn’t the right thing to ask, but Clayton had to know.

  “Is different.”

  That’s just what he wanted to hear.

  When they walked back down the stairs, Abby tried to go to the office, but he grabbed her hand and led her into the living room where all the lights were off except for the Christmas tree.

  With the twinkling of the soft white lights and the red-orange glow of the fire, the room looked inviting and cozy. Abby didn’t even hesitate to walk to the tree.

  “This one is my favorite,” she declared.

  He raised a brow. “The champagne-colored ornaments?”

  “Nope,” she said and glanced at him. “It’s the biggest. I always wanted a huge Christmas tree that would take a ladder to put the star on top.”

  “What else did you want?”

  “So many lights that it was blinding.”

  He grinned and walked to stand beside her. “White lights or colored?”

  “I’m not picky,” she declared. “I like your mom’s idea. She loves it all, so she does it all. Colored lights on a white tree with purple ornaments. White lights on a green tree with red decorations.”

  Clayton reached out and touched the ends of her hair. “So, if you had no budget and were set loose in a Christmas store?”

  “I’d buy it all,” she said with a laugh. “My house would drip Christmas in every room.”

  “Oh, God,” he said in mock astonishment, his head tilted back. “Don’t let Mom hear you.”

  Abby’s laugh drew him in. It was warm and welcoming, and when he was with her, it was like he was coming in from the cold. He could smile and laugh and tease—all of the things he hadn’t done in months.

  But Abby’s smile quickly vanished. Clayton studied her, reading the tightening of her shoulders and the frown that meant her thoughts were once more on her brothers.

  “I could’ve let my brothers go into the foster system,” she said in a low voice. “Many people suggested that I should. They said that at eighteen, I wasn’t capable of taking care of them.” Her chest lifted as she inhaled. “I wasn’t. I knew that, just as I knew it’d be easier to let them go. I could worry about only me.”

  “No one would’ve blamed you.”

  Her mouth twisted as she lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I saw what the foster system was. If I could’ve been guaranteed that my brothers were kept together and were sent to a good, loving home, I might have done it. But it wasn’t a chance I could take.”

  “Because you love them.”

  She looked at him and nodded, the lights of the trees shining like a thousand stars in her eyes. “For six months after mom left, they slept with me in my bed. There were nights Brice wouldn’t close his eyes for fear that I’d be gone when he woke. He kept my gown fisted in his hands all night.”

  It made Clayton want to track down their mother and give her a piece of his mind. But he also knew the trio was better off without such a woman. Perhaps that’s why she’d left them. At least that was what he was going to tell himself—and them, if they ever asked.

  “I’ve taken it one day at a time for these last eight years. Eight years,” she repeated with a shake of her head. “I don’t know where the time went. I should’ve planned better. By this time, I should’ve obtained a better-paying job so we could breathe easier.”

  “Ninety percent of the population lives paycheck to paycheck, Abby. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve given those boys a stable, loving home.”

  She looked at him and grinned sheepishly. “I’ve never said any of this to anyone before.”

  “I’m glad you told me.” And he meant it. He wanted her to trust him, to share details of her life.

  Because he wanted to be with her.

  And he recognized that, without her, he was an emotional wreck. But Abby centered things, and stabilized him.

  Now, it was his turn to share. “I didn’t want to come home because I’m not the person I was when I left. I’ve been in war and have seen death up close. I’ve killed.”

  She moved closer, rubbing her hand up and down his arm. “As you said, you were in war.”

  “Not all of my missions were during war.”

  “You were a SEAL,” she said. “You were the ones sent in to help others because y’all got the job done.”

  He took her hand and looked at the tree. “I see the men I’ve killed every time I close my eyes.”

  “And no one here would understand that.”

  He nodded and turned his head to her. “It’s a weight that I’ll carry for the rest of my days. I fought for my country, and I saved people. But I was also sent on missions to take out our enemies.”

  “The fact that you’re here says you’re a survivor. Unfortunately, we survivors are always left to carry the burden of what’s left. Frankly, I’m glad you’re here. You were needed, and I think you needed this place, too.”

  “I did.” But it was more than the ranch that his soul craved.

  It was Abby.

  Chapter 16

  Clayton was definitely someone she could get used to having around. Abby liked the thought of him, but she also knew better than to hand over her heart so quickly. Not only had she accepted the loneliness she’d tried to hide, which made her yearn for someone—that wasn’t true. She didn’t long for just anyone. She wanted Clayton.

  Then there was the fact that she didn’t know if he was staying or not. What good would it do for her to fall for someone only to have him leave?

  She’d guarded herself so fiercely for so long, she knew she’d be devastated if Clayton left. So while she ached for more of his kisses, she couldn’t let herself think—or dream—of anything more.

  That was easier said than done when she sat across from him at the dinner table. With effortless conversation and good food, it was easy to imagine how life might be with him.

  Each time she looked up and found his pale green eyes taking her in, it caused her heart to beat faster.

  Though he didn’t exactly wear a smile, Clayton’s demeanor had loosened by several degrees. He was more relaxed, an ease she hadn’t seen from him before.

  Well, except when they’d kissed.

  It wasn’t long before Justine and Ben shared stories about Clayton when he was younger. When Landon was mentioned, all three Easts’ eyes filled with sadness, but the joy of talking about Landon made up for that.

  All too soon, the meal was finished. While Abby helped to clear the table, Ben and Clayton talked to her brothers about what to expect while staying at the bunkhouse.

  Brice and Caleb listened raptly, nodding as the men spoke. The way her brothers had taken to Ben and Clayton made Abby all too aware of how much her brothers had needed a stable man in their lives.

  She waved to her siblings as they headed out the door to where Shane waited for them. “Be good,” she called.

  “We will,” they answered in unison.

  Justine came up beside her, wearing a smile. “You did good with them, Abby.”

  “I just see all the ways I’ve screwed up.”

  Justine chuckled before turning back to wipe off the counters. “There’s isn’t a handbook for raising kids. We do the best we can. Every parent or guardian tries not to make the same mistakes their parent or parents did, and in the process, we make new ones. It’s just the way things work.”

  “I fear I’ve screwed them up for life,” Abby confessed one of her great worries.

  “Oh, honey. That’s simply not true.”

  She turned to Justine. “They have abandonment issues.”

  “They aren’t the only ones,” Justine stated, giving her a pointed look. “And it’s justified. Abby, your
mother didn’t just leave your brothers. She left you, as well. You always leave that out.”

  “I was eighteen.”

  “Age doesn’t matter when a parent leaves. A child will always need that parent. Always.”

  Abby put the cork in the wine bottle. “Thank you for opening your home to us. I think I’m going to get some work done now.”

  “Are you sure? Ben and I are headed upstairs, but you and Clayton could watch a movie or something.”

  That sounded sublime. “I’ll wait and see what Clayton wants to do.”

  “All right, honey. I’m going to get my man into bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Abby watched Justine walk from the kitchen to the grand staircase. The love between Clayton’s parents was what Abby longed for. She’d never thought she would achieve it. Mostly because it was hard to find a man when she didn’t put herself out there, but then there weren’t that many men around that she wanted to date.

  That is until she’d met Clayton.

  On her way to the office, she paused beside a wreath of freshly cut fir and inhaled the aroma. Though she wasn’t part of the East family, this was the best Christmas she’d ever had. And if it took her scraping by even more than usual, she would start saving so her brothers could have a proper Christmas tree and maybe even some garland.

  Really, all she wanted was the lights. They added magic to any room.

  Abby sat behind the desk and took a deep breath before she tucked her hair behind her ears and immersed herself back into the accounting nightmare of the ranch.

  She had no idea how long she worked before she pinched the bridge of her nose and lifted her head to stretch her neck. That’s when she found Clayton stretched out on the sofa, his hat covering his face.

  “I was beginning to think I was invisible,” he murmured sleepily.

  She grinned despite herself. “How long have you been there?”

  “Almost an hour.”

  Aghast, she said, “Are you serious?”

  He pushed his hat up with his thumb and looked at her without moving his head. “Yes, ma’am. When you work, you absorb yourself fully.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?” she asked, mortified.

  “I didn’t want to disturb you. It looked as if you had found something.”

  She tossed the pencil on the desk. “I did. Well, I think I did. He could’ve transposed numbers, but I think it was done on purpose. I want to see how often this occurs before I can say one way or the other.”

  Clayton sat up and swung his legs over the side of the couch while adjusting his hat. “You think this is how Gilroy began taking money?”

  “I do. This is a long process, though. At the rate I’m going, it’s going to take months.”

  “And if you worked at it full-time?”

  She shrugged. “I’d say about a month. I’d want to be thorough, and there may be a need to look even farther back than when Nathan took over.”

  “Then I want to hire you.”

  Abby was so taken aback she could only stare at him.

  “I’m serious,” Clayton said. “We need someone we trust to look at the books with a skeptical eye.”

  “You barely know me.”

  It was his turn to shrug. “Call it gut instinct. My parents feel the same way.”

  “But we’ve discussed this. I’m not licensed.”

  “You said you do this kind of thing every day in your job.”

  She nodded woodenly. “I do. With Gloria then checking behind me.”

  “Every time? Are you sure Gloria checks everything?”

  Abby began to reply, but she hesitated because she knew that Gloria had stopped checking her work over a year ago.

  “That’s what I thought,” Clayton said. “Are you fighting this because you don’t want to work for me?”

  How did she get herself into these situations? “Not at all. You and your parents have been incredible. I just think a ranch this size should be working with someone reputable. Someone with clout.”

  Clayton leaned back, resting his arms on the back of the sofa. “Gloria wants our business, doesn’t she?”

  “Yes.” Dear God. She’d forgotten that Gloria had asked her to bring in the Easts, which would mean a ten percent bump in pay. It wasn’t a lot, but that little bit could do amazing things. It’s what she’d told her brothers on the drive over, but she didn’t like how she’d felt about Gloria’s offer. So she’d also told her brother she wasn’t going to do it.

  “What did Gloria offer you?”

  Seeing Clayton out on the ranch, it was easy to forget that he also knew the business side of things. And was, apparently, shrewd.

  “A ten-percent raise.”

  Clayton raised a pale brow. “That’s it? With what the ranch would bring her in revenue, she should double your salary.”

  “Unfortunately, Gloria doesn’t think like you.”

  “That’s her loss. And my gain.”

  Abby could feel the erratic beat of her heart and the nervousness that tightened her stomach into a ball. “You can’t be serious about this.”

  “You’ve already said that. And I am.”

  “But…” She racked her brain thinking of other arguments. “You’ve not spoken to your parents about it.”

  “You don’t know that,” he retorted.

  That made her pause. “Oh. Have you?”

  “A bit.” When she started to talk, he dropped his arms and scooted to the edge of the sofa. “Stop, Abby. I hear your arguments, and I’m sure if I gave you time, you’d come up with a hundred more. The simple fact is, you’ve done more for us in the few hours that you’ve looked at the finances than the people we paid to do it over the years.”

  Abby preened at his compliment.

  “I’ll be honest,” he continued. “I placed a call to Gloria when I first got into town and left a message. I’ve not returned her phone call. And I don’t plan to. I want you working here. You’re more than qualified. Not only have you worked for Gloria for four years, but you’re halfway to your degree.”

  Obviously, he had spoken to her brothers about how long she’d worked for Gloria. Abby liked that he’d gotten all his facts together. It proved that he had thought this through, and that it wasn’t just something off the top of his head.

  He rose and walked toward her. “You won’t have to work nearly as hard. With the extra time, you’ll be able to get your degree quicker. And to sweeten the deal, I’ll double whatever salary you make with Gloria.”

  “You can’t say that when you don’t know what I make,” she said, the shock of his words still reverberating in her mind.

  Clayton leaned down and put his hands on the arms of the chair so their eyes were level. “I can. I did. And I’ll say it again.”

  “But the money was stolen.”

  With one hand, Clayton punched a few keys on the keyboard and the screen filled with banking information. When she saw the sum, her eyes widened.

  She jerked her gaze to him. “The money was already replaced?”

  “This is my money. I put it in the account until the stolen sum could be found or the bonding paperwork you sent in is completed.”

  “Oh.” Shit. He was as loaded as his parents.

  He held her gaze. “I had nothing to spend my money on. So, I invested. Heavily. This is part of the reward.”

  “Part?” she asked in a soft voice.

  “A small slice.”

  With him being so close, she was reminded of their kiss the night before. There was a ruthless determination in his gaze that she recognized from seeing it both at the sheriff’s station and when he wanted her to look over the books. He wouldn’t relent until he had what he wanted, and right now, he wanted her working for him.

  What kind of fool passed up that kind of opportunity?

  It would put her close to him. Daily. She would have to fight the desire that curled through her each time he was near. And if there
were more kisses? She couldn’t even think about that, because she wanted to taste him on her tongue again, to feel his hard body against her.

  To have his hand gripping her hair again.

  “I wouldn’t be bonded,” she said. “I can’t since I’m not licensed.”

  His lips curved into a satisfied smile. “You won’t have access to the accounts. At least not until you are licensed. So that’s not a worry.”

  “Don’t you want to know what I make with Gloria?”

  “No. Wait. Yes, I do. What’s your salary?”

  Abby shifted uncomfortably. “I’m still hourly. She didn’t want to pay for medical insurance.”

  “Well, that’s pretty shitty of her. Does she know she’s treating her best employee so horrendously?”

  “She doesn’t care.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I’ll say again: Her loss. My gain.”

  Abby was really beginning to like those words. “Maybe just pay me hourly until I get my degree and become licensed. That seems fair.”

  “I’m going to have to teach you how to bargain, because you suck at it.”

  She laughed until he took her hand and pulled her to her feet—and right into his arms. Her breasts pressed against the sinew of his chest. Every thought vanished as she recalled the way his lips had moved over hers, how he skillfully turned their soft kiss into one that raged uncontrollably, scorching them from the inside out.

  Because in his arms, she remembered she was a woman. A woman with needs. A woman who wanted —and needed—to feel desire.

  And he was a man who would lead her down that road with the promise of untold pleasure in his eyes—and his kiss.

  God help her, she’d readily follow him anywhere.

  “No, Abby Harper, I’m going to pay you what you should’ve been earning all this time. You’re worth it.”

  How could she withstand such words? “You barely know me.”

  “I know you. I know you have a kind heart, you’re fiercely protective of your brothers, and you think of everyone but yourself. I know the intoxicating taste of your kiss and the heavenly way you feel in my arms.”