Cover Me: A Rock Star Romance
Page 6
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I told them.” I smacked his arm. “I’m the smart one in this operation, remember?”
“That’s it.” He tossed the umbrella on the ground and came at me.
“No!” I ran, but in two strides he lunged and had me up over his shoulder, running for the cover of the cabana. Every footfall made me bounce, jarring the giggles coming out of me into sporadic yelps of high-pitched laughter. “People are watching us!”
“Almost there, smart mouth.” He bounded the stairs up to the cabana two at a time and pushed through the white mesh curtain. Inside, my eyes didn’t have time to adjust from the blinding sun to the shade before I was sprawled out on my back on the square cushion that covered the entire area with Derek lying beside me. I hadn’t realize it would be a giant, enclosed bed on the beach. I was thinking more an enclosed patio with lounge chairs.
I pushed up and leaned back on my hands. He was panting and grinning and looked exactly like the boy that used to live next door to me, if a bit bigger. “I can’t believe you stole a beach umbrella,” I said. “What will your mother say?”
He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face. “I’ll tell her you made me. She’ll understand.” He pulled me down so my head rested on his shoulder and kissed the top of it. “Do you make a habit of daring your friends to do childish pranks like that?”
“Ha! No. Karen keeps me in line. Most of my other friends are from college and we’ve all gone our separate ways. We get together once a year at least and then it does get a little nuts.”
I looked up at him through my lashes to find him gazing down at me. “I’d like to see you let loose with your friends. I never knew that side of you before.”
“There’s a lot about me you didn’t take the time to get to know.”
He inched down and rolled toward me so we were eye-to-eye. “Is that what it was? What I did to make you not trust me?” His fingers entwined with mine and he lifted our joined hands up between us.
My eyes roamed over his face, following the line of his eyebrow to his temple, down to his prominent cheekbone to his straight nose then over his full, beautiful lips that could be so gentle and so demanding at the same time. The lips that always spoke what was on his mind and never held back. “If only you did know me better, then you’d know that wasn’t what broke my trust in you. But maybe you wouldn’t have done it in the first place if you’d have thought about my feelings at all.”
He kissed my hand and spoke against my fingers. “What if I did think about your feelings, but got it wrong. You said I didn’t know you, so I might have done something I thought you would be okay with.”
I shook my head. “No. If that was true, you’re not the kind of person I should be here with right now.”
He held my hand more firmly. “So, if I was selfish and didn’t consider your feelings at all, it would be better than thinking you’d be okay with whatever horrible thing I did?”
“Are we going in circles? It sounds like we’re talking in circles.” Derek had the gift of gab and I had to be careful he didn’t talk his way out of this.
“Bess, whatever it was that I did, I’m so sorry. I apologize. But, I do know you well enough to know you won’t accept my apology without me realizing what I’m saying I’m sorry for. Correct?”
“Yes. And no, I won’t tell you. I know you well enough to know that if you think about it long enough, it’ll finally come to you.”
“Well, I know that you know that I know that—wait. We are going in circles.” He grinned and kissed my hand again. “Just know I can’t think of anything else and when it comes to me, I’ll be down on my knees begging forgiveness.”
We lay there for the longest time looking into each other’s eyes, listening to the ocean and the sound of our breathing in sync. My fingers itched to touch him, to trace over his arms, his chest, along his stomach, hold his hard cock in my hand again. I could almost hear his thoughts mirroring mine, wanting to touch and taste, caress and seek release.
Our hands were the only parts of us touching and I was so turned on my body hummed like a live wire. If the wind blew too hard, I’d explode. I could hear a slight hitch in my breathing. He had to hear it too.
“Don’t look down,” he whispered, his addictive lips so close I could feel each word against my own.
“Why?”
“I can’t help what’s happening in my head or my pants and don’t want something else to apologize for.”
I grinned and looked down. “I think you’re growing a tree in there.” God, he was well endowed.
“That explains why it feels like something’s about to break ground,” he said through gritted teeth.
My eyes found his again. The air between us hung heavy and dense with tension. “What’s on the A.P. friendship syllabus regarding this situation?”
He lifted our joined hands and ran his index finger over my lips. “You write the syllabus. I’m only here for the coursework.”
Not able to stand it one more second, I leaned in and brushed my lips to his. “It’s never only anything with you.”
I indulged with my lips and my tongue, rolling him to his back before making my way down his body to the hard, long gift in his trunks.
Seven
Derek
I could not fucking believe Bess Halprin’s mouth was around my cock. “Please don’t regret this,” I said, weaving my fingers through her hair. She glanced up at me, popped me out of her mouth and smiled before licking me from bottom to top like a sucker. I let my head fall back and tried not to die of heart failure.
That image would be seared on my retinas for the rest of my life.
I thought of all the other times I’d been in this position and not one came close to the way it felt to have her sucking me and massaging my balls. It wasn’t the how, it was the who. But the how was pretty fucking spectacular, too.
Her head bobbed in my hands and I restrained from pushing her down onto me or thrusting. She got up on her knees and pressed her hands against my thighs, lowering her mouth a little at a time until I hit the back of her throat. My pelvis jerked and she worked her head in circles before sliding up and down my shaft.
She opened her mouth and slowly took me out, leaving a string of saliva connecting us. “Jesus, Bess,” I whispered. “You’re going to make me come everywhere.”
“That’s the point.” She dove back in, jerking me off and teasing my balls with her tongue, taking them in her mouth and sucking, letting them pop out between her lips. All I could think about was grabbing her by the ankles and pulling her around so I could stuff my face between her legs and lick her pussy while she worked me. I had to let her call the shots though. So far she didn’t seem to be shy with what she wanted. I hoped she’d make me reciprocate when my turn was over—which would be any second now.
“You’re so hard,” she said and ran pouty lips up and down the side of my shaft. “So big.” Her tongue laved around the edge of my head. “So good. I’m going to make you come now.”
The pressure was unbearable. “Suck me again and I’m done.”
She closed her lips around me and sucked, hard, hollowing out her cheeks and bobbing up and down fast while her hand worked the base of my cock. My hands fisted in her hair and my hips rose up to meet her as blinding heat exploded into her mouth.
When I came to my senses, I lay panting with her head resting on my thigh. One of my hands was still clutching her hair. Coming back to myself, I realized she kept me in, swallowed me down. How could she say she didn’t trust me if she’d risk doing that without knowing who I’d been with. Of course, she had nothing to worry about. I didn’t bang skanks and always wore a condom. It told me something though. Something she wouldn’t verbalize: there was hope for her trusting me. She at least knew I’d never let her come to harm. She trusted me with her body if not her heart.
“Thank you,” I said, stroking her hair. “You’re amazing.”
She sighed and wrapped he
r arm around my hips. “You get me worked up.”
“I could reciprocate.”
“That’s not on the syllabus.”
“Not today…”
“Maybe not ever.”
We’d see about that. I had all the time and patience in the world. I never gave up and always got what I wanted. “Am I supposed to know you’re all worked up and just let you suffer? That’s not something I can do.”
I grabbed her arms and pulled her up so she was lying on top of me. I held her face and kissed her, sucking her bottom lip and sliding my tongue across hers. “Let me touch you again.” I ran my hands down her sides and lifted her cover-up. Her knees fell to either side of me. I dug my fingers under her bathing suit bottoms and kneaded her ass. She rocked against me. If she was as turned on as I’d been, this wouldn’t take long. Hell, I was starting to get hard again already.
I rolled us over so she was on her back and tucked my hand in the front of her bottoms. Her legs parted wide for me and her eyes closed. I parted her lips with my fingers and spread her wetness through her folds. With the tip of my index finger, I massaged the nub of her clitoris, watching her face contract and her mouth fall open in pleasure. Her hips started rocking. I rubbed faster, massaged her deeper. Her breathing came in quick gasps. “So close,” she said on a whimper, and grabbed my wrist. “Yes. Like that. We both went faster and faster until she was wild and desperate, on the verge of bursting.
I slid down her body and slipped my other hand in, pushed my fingers inside her and rubbed while continuing my assault on her clit. “Oh God!” she cried, arching her back. “Fuck!” Her body spasmed and shook. She clenched her breasts and thrust against my hand until the last shock of orgasm washed over her.
I wanted to keep my hands on her for the rest of the day, but pulled them out of her bathing suit bottoms and fell back on the cushion. “Watching you come is like… I don’t even know. Like nothing I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing before.” I turned my head to see her sleepy, sated eyes blinking slowly. “Why haven’t we been doing this forever? What the hell is wrong with us? This feels so right, doesn’t it?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she said. “It was always you that was the problem.”
“I’m the idiot,” I said. “That’s why. You’re the brains.”
She rolled on her side and tucked her head under my chin. “You’re catching on.”
I tickled her side, making her squirm and pulled her even closer. “I heard you playing last night,” she said.
“You did?” I wasn’t sure when she got to her parents’ house. “What did you think?”
She looked up at me and for the first time since I stepped foot into The Scene the other day, the hint of wariness was gone from her eyes. “I think you’re finding yourself again.”
I dipped my head and kissed her. It felt like I was finding myself again or the man I missed out on becoming. “Have you had to make a lot of sacrifices in your life, Bess?”
Her brow scrunched while she thought about it. “Not really sacrifices, no. Have you?”
“Yeah. A lot of them. How many people do you know who can’t walk on the beach without hiding under stairs and behind umbrellas? I can’t complain, right? I got what I always wanted. I’ve filled arenas, been on the covers of magazines, won awards, but I still think of my parents’ place as home, because I haven’t made one for myself.”
I took a deep breath and chuckled. “Poor me, huh? The guy with everything.”
She rose up on her elbows to see me better. “Don’t beat yourself up over a little introspection. Thinking about what you don’t have or what you want for yourself doesn’t diminish what you’ve already got. You know, I interned for the nightlife editor at Encore Magazine in college and something she said still echoes in my head all the time. She told me that even when you’re on top, it’s still not enough. Someone else is always getting something more—more recognition, more awards, more readers, more exclusives.” Bess clasped my hand. “With people like us, there’s never enough. We need that next fix like it’s our drug.”
“That’s exactly it.” I closed my eyes, comforted by having someone who understood. “It’s exhausting.”
She rested her head on my shoulder. “Then it was a good time to step out of that world and take a break. You always do your best when you listen to your instincts.”
Bess knew me so well. For almost ten years I surrounded myself with people who claimed they knew what was best—for me, for my career. I pushed back and fought when they wanted me to go in a direction I knew was wrong, but lately, like with Adrian, I’d grown too tired to fight anymore and I questioned my instincts. “It was time to get away and regroup,” I said, more to myself than to Bess.
“Sometimes we all need to do that.” She traced her fingernails, aimlessly, over my chest. “Except I’d rather come back here and get back to what’s simple than get away to somewhere new.”
“Yeah, I would too. I mean, I came here because it was the first—the only—place I thought of, but that’s because it’s like you said: it’s simple. This is where I belong.”
“Where you can find yourself, reset your compass to true north.”
“True north,” I repeated. “That’s it. That’s the song.” Something that had shifted apart inside me clicked back into place. “I want to work with you on it, Bess. Like with Cover Me. That’s where it started and what I want to get back to.” I cupped her cheek and made her look up at me. “Will you do it? Will you work with me on the song?”
Her dark eyes clouded over and skittered away from mine. She sat up. Like the other night, I knew it was happening again. I was losing her.
Bess
Events come full circle and moments repeat themselves. Déjà vu was real. I let Derek Bast back into my life and was faced with allowing him a second opportunity to drive a stake into my heart. Except I was prepared this time. I wouldn’t let him into my heart. Only my pants on a limited basis.
“Bess?” He sat up beside me and rubbed his hand across my back. “You make the friendship rules, remember? I’ll follow them.”
If I was in control, why didn’t it feel like I was? He couldn’t hurt me unless I let him, and there was no way I’d let him. “I’ll think about it,” I said. “Helping you with the song. I didn’t plan on staying. I have work to get back to.”
He brushed my hair back and traced my ear with his thumb. “Why did you come?”
There was no lying about it. We both knew my parents were gone. “To find out why you walked out on the deal and left Kurt. You didn’t mention it…that night. The next morning you, what? Woke up and decided to turn your life upside down?”
His thumb glided along the side of my face, down over my jaw. “Let’s just say I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night and had a lot of time to think about what I wanted.”
“Was it because I wouldn’t retract my review?”
His eyes followed his hand as he stroked my hair and let his fingertips caress the hollow behind my ear and trail down the side of my neck. “It was because you left. I don’t like being someone you don’t know or trust. I don’t want to be that guy. If you don’t know me, then I don’t either. If you don’t know me, I’m not Derek Bast from Santa Cruz. I’m whoever nine years of being in the music industry has made me.”
“The music industry has nothing to do with why I left.”
“No. That’s on me and I’ll figure it out.” He leaned in and traced the rim of my ear with his nose. “Have faith in me, Bess,” he whispered. “I’m not the teenage boy who used to overlook you. He needed to grow up and realize what was always there in the room across the yard.”
I felt my lips turning toward his, like they were magnetized. “What was there?”
“My true north.” He kissed me and my resolve shattered. My eyes watered with tears I refused to shed. My heart ached, begging me to stop being stubborn and love him like I wanted to. Trust him. Cherish and treasure him. Believe it was
our time to be together.
He held the side of my face while he kissed me, his thumb resting under my chin, guiding me to him and keeping me there. My throat tightened with emotion. My eyes fluttered open to watch him kiss me, to memorize this moment. I stored away the golden tint of his tanned, smooth skin, and the sound of our mingled breathing and wet lips, pressing and parting again and again. The fan of his long dark lashes under his eyes, the bridge of his nose tilting against mine and the crease of his forehead, so serious and determined to convey his sincerity through his kiss. The thin veil of control was etched on his face, the struggle to hold back and let me keep the reins.
Our lips parted and he leaned his forehead against mine. “How long can you stay? You don’t have to help me or even see me or talk to me if you don’t want to after today. Knowing you’re over there inside the window listening is enough.”
I placed my hands on his cheeks and closed my eyes, willing my thoughts—the ones I wouldn’t let escape—to transfer from my mind to his. I wanted to stay forever if that’s how long he needed me. I wanted to let go of the past and dive headfirst into the future. I wanted to give him all of me—heart, soul, mind and body—and be open and vulnerable to him. I wanted to trust him. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll stay until you finish the song.”
And I’d get my emotions back in check. This wasn’t some fairytale. This was real life with a real man who had the potential to do real damage if I let him.
Derek sat back and shot me a cocky smile. “What if I never finish the song? Will you still be here?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
He chuckled and wrapped me in a bear hug. “I think this is our best Saturday beach trip yet.”
I backed away from the hug and gave an exaggerated look down at his crotch. “I can’t imagine why you’d think that.”
“What? Like it wasn’t good for you, Miss ‘Oh God! Fuck!’” he mocked, complete with a look of ecstasy.