Rainbird's Revenge

by Beaton, M. C.

  ‘I went to my first London party this evening,’ said Jenny, ‘and no one would dance with me, although I was by far the prettiest lady there. I was a failure. There was a girl with a face like a pug-dog and everyone seemed to love her, and Aunt Letitia says I am . . . v-vain . . . and . . . and . . . s-selfish . . .’ And with that, Jenny buried her face in her hands and began to cry again.

  She made a pathetic figure. Angus cleared his throat and turned away, Mrs Middleton brushed sympathetic tears from her own eyes, and Dave gave something like a sniff, wiped his nose defiantly on his sleeve, and glared about the group.

  Rainbird handed Jenny a large clean handkerchief. He waited patiently until she had hiccupped and sobbed her way into silence and then said quietly, ‘Did you say you were the prettiest lady there?’

  ‘Y-yes,’ said Jenny, giving her nose a hard blow.

  ‘And what gave you that idea, miss?’ asked Rainbird.

  Jenny looked at him in amazement. ‘But one has only to look at me!’ she said.

  ‘But looks are nothing compared to warmth and animation,’ cried Rainbird. ‘No one is beautiful outside if they are not beautiful inside.’

  ‘Well!’ breathed Jenny. ‘And after all I did for you, you dare to insult me . . . you, a servant!’

  ‘You came for help,’ said Rainbird calmly. ‘It appears to me you have relied solely on your beauty and nothing else, and so the development of your character has been stunted. It is very unbecoming in a lady to voice openly that she thinks she is prettier than anyone else. Now, the pug-faced lady may have been full of laughter and warmth and fun.’

  ‘Yes, she was,’ said Jenny bitterly, ‘as well she might be with all the gentlemen vying for her attentions.’

  ‘But not vain. Not proud.’

  Jenny hung her head.

  ‘No,’ she whispered.

  ‘Well, there you are,’ said Rainbird cheerfully. ‘The next function you attend, you must put thoughts of your own appearance outside your mind. You must appear to be as delighted with unimportant men who dance with you as important. You must, should you find yourself a wallflower, seek the company of another wallflower and try to cheer and comfort her. You must not look in the glass for a month.’

  Despite her shame and misery, Jenny gave a reluctant laugh. ‘But how can I arrange my hair?’

  ‘Your maid arranges it. You shut your eyes and think of something else.’ He shut his own eyes and went through a comical mime of a lady trying to ignore her appearance, opening his eyes and appearing to stare rapturously at his own expression, and then shutting them firmly and sitting there with a pious look on his face.

  With the mercurial change of spirits that bless the young, Jenny began to feel as ridiculously lighthearted as she had been miserable before.

  ‘And,’ said Rainbird, ‘seek out Miss Pug-Face and instead of envying her—’

  ‘I! Envy her?’

  ‘Yes, instead of envying her, try to copy her manner.’

  ‘Why should I take your advice?’ demanded Jenny. ‘It is not as if you go about in society.’

  ‘Oh, but I do,’ said Rainbird, ‘if only in my capacity as servant.’ And he added with deliberate rudeness, ‘And any one of us here has better social manners than you any day, my hoity-toity miss.’

  Jenny bristled like an angry kitten. But Alice continued to sew, and the rest continued to look at her with open sympathy, as if they were her equals and not servants at all.

  ‘I came here for comfort and all I get is a jaw-me-dead,’ said Jenny.

  ‘Jaw-me-deads can be very comforting in retrospect,’ said Rainbird seriously. ‘You can try it my way for a little and then, if it does not work, why, you can come and lecture me on the vanity of trying to arrange someone else’s life.’

  ‘What an odd lot of people you are,’ said Jenny. ‘Are you related to each other?’

  ‘Only by the chains of servitude,’ said Rainbird solemnly. To Jenny’s amazement, he got to his feet and cartwheeled around the table, to land neatly back in his chair.

  ‘Mr Rainbird used to perform at the fairs,’ said Dave, clapping with glee. ‘Do it again, Mr Rainbird.’

  ‘No,’ said the butler. ‘I want wine and music.’

  ‘I have been listening to music all evening and longing to dance,’ said Jenny wistfully, ‘but no one asked me.’

  ‘Play, Joseph!’ cried Rainbird. He jumped to his feet and bowed low before Jenny. ‘Would Miss Sutherland do me the inestimable honour of allowing me to lead her to the floor?’

  There were cheers and claps, and to Jenny’s bewilderment, the servants rose and pushed the table back against the wall. Joseph struck a jaunty chord.

  ‘Why not?’ laughed Jenny, taking Rainbird’s hand.

  They formed a set for a country dance, Rainbird at the top with Jenny, Mrs Middleton with Angus, Alice and chambermaid Jenny, and Lizzie and Dave.

  Just then the Duke of Pelham climbed down from his carriage and listened in amazement to the sounds of merriment coming from his servants’ hall.

  ‘Probably getting drunk on my wine,’ he said furiously to Fergus.

  He was in a bad mood, caused, had he but realized it, by his own uneasy conscience. For he had been largely responsible for Jenny’s social failure. It had made him furious to see her standing there as if expecting homage from everyone who set eyes on her. Not quite realizing that a handsome and rich duke newly returned from the wars had almost absolute social power, he had commented acidly to one young man who had appeared smitten with Jenny’s looks, ‘Miss Sutherland is a country nobody with neither charm nor wit. Not the partner for a gentleman of fashion.’ To his irritation, the young man had immediately joined a large group of other gentlemen to relay this piece of gossip. He saw the insolent, contemptuous stares cast in Jenny’s direction but refused to admit to himself he was responsible for her humiliation. But when Jenny had left and he no longer had the doubtful joy of seeing the mortification of Miss Jenny Sutherland, who had dared to be rude to him at a country ball, the evening had gone sadly flat.

  He marched into his front parlour and stretched his hand out towards the bell. No! He would confront these servants. ‘Stay here, Fergus,’ he commanded, seeing his servant sliding in the direction of the door. ‘I will deal with this myself.’

  He walked down the back stairs and threw open the door of the servants’ hall. Miss Jenny Sutherland was twirling around in the arms of his butler while the other servants laughed and cheered.

  She was the first to see him. She let out a gasp of horror, all happiness and life draining from her face.

  ‘What is the meaning of this?’ demanded the Duke of Pelham.

  Jenny half turned to flee, to leave these odd servants to face the wrath of their master, but something made her stand her ground.

  ‘The fault is mine, your grace,’ she said defiantly. ‘I had a miserable time this evening. I saw your servants from the carriage window and they looked so comfortable, so happy, and so at ease, that I decided to call on them. We do such things in the country,’ said Jenny airily, although she knew it would be as shocking in the country for a lady to visit servants in the middle of the night as it was in Town. ‘I was unhappy because I had been unable to dance at the party. I commanded Mr Rainbird to dance with me. Your servants were obliged to obey that command.’

  The duke’s frigid stare raked round the room. The servants looked back calmly, and quite unafraid. Even Mrs Middleton wasn’t twitching, he noticed. He did not know that each servant had just reminded him- or herself that liberty was just around the corner, and, the trouncing of Palmer apart, they had nothing to fear from the dislike of the Duke of Pelham.

  ‘Your aunt shall hear of this, Miss Sutherland,’ said the duke.

  ‘Think of your aunt, don’t think of your looks,’ came a voice at her ear, but Jenny wondered afterwards whether that voice had been Rainbird’s or a voice in her own head.

  ‘Your grace,’ said Jenny, ‘my aunt has done everyt
hing for me; she has brought me up and looked after me like a daughter. By telling her, you would not be punishing me, but Lady Letitia. I beg your mercy.’

  The duke looked down at the defiant little figure. Several of her curls had come loose from her headdress and were hanging in disarray about her shoulders. ‘I shall not tell Lady Letitia,’ he heard himself say. ‘But my servants should not have encouraged you in this folly and must be punished.’

  ‘Ah, no!’ said Jenny. ‘They were only being kind! See how red my eyes are with weeping? They were only trying to comfort me.’

  The duke swung round and stared at the wall. He had not thought Miss Sutherland had any feelings at all. She was little more than a child, and he had made her cry by ruining her social standing.

  He swung back and faced them. ‘Perhaps it would be better if we forgot about the whole sorry affair. Do not disgrace yourself thus again, Miss Jenny, if you have any care for your aunt.’

  For that one moment, Jenny found herself liking him enormously.

  ‘Then you must dance with me, your grace, before I go home.’

  ‘No, no, no,’ whispered Rainbird. ‘You have gone too far.’

  But the duke smiled, that enchanting smile of his, and said, ‘Of course.’

  Fergus, dreading the glorious Alice was being dismissed by his wrathful master, crept to the door of the servants’ hall and listened in amazement to the continued sounds of merriment coming from within. He cautiously pushed open the door.

  The duke was waltzing with none other than that young miss who had been at the country ball and whom he had seen only just that evening leaving Mrs Bessamy’s while he stood with the other servants in the hall.

  ‘Come and join us, Fergus,’ cried the duke.

  Fergus promptly hurried into the room and claimed Alice’s hand for a dance.

  Jenny looked up in a bewildered way at the duke, wondering whether he might have a heart after all. He smiled at her and she bent her head in confusion and her dark curls tickled his chin. She was nothing more than a wilful child, thought the duke indulgently. He would repair the harm he had done her reputation at the first opportunity.

  The music ceased. The duke still stood, his hand at Jenny’s waist, looking down at her. Jenny felt hot and confused, a mixture of bewildering emotions surging through her.

  ‘I must go now,’ she said, pulling away.

  ‘Then I shall accompany you,’ said the duke.

  ‘No!’ said Jenny. ‘If I am spotted I can say I fell asleep with my clothes on and have been sleepwalking.’ She turned and ran out of the door, up the area steps, and soon the diminishing patter of her feet could be heard coming from the pavement above.

  FOUR

  Me this unchartered freedom tires;

  I feel the weight of chance desires;

  WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

  Mrs Freemantle made a noisy return as a red dawn rose over London. She was considered an Original and had been escorted back to Clarges Street by a party of noisy young bucks. She kissed them all good night and then lurched unsteadily into the front parlour.

  Lady Letitia, roused from an uneasy sleep by all the noises outside, pulled on her wrapper and made her way downstairs.

  Mrs Freemantle was slumped in a chair by the hearth when Lady Letitia entered the room. She exuded a strong smell of spirits. Her cap lay in a crumpled heap at her feet and her wig had slipped over one eye. She had her eyes closed.

  Lady Letitia shook her gently by the shoulder. ‘Agnes,’ she said, ‘you must not fall asleep here.’

  ‘Hey, what!’ Mrs Freemantle opened her eyes and looked about her in a dazed way, and then up into Lady Letitia’s anxious face. ‘Oh, Letisha,’ she slurred. ‘Jolly, jolly party. Pelham left ’fore I could shlap his shtupid face with my fan.’

  ‘Why should you want to do that?’

  ‘What he did to Jenny.’ Mrs Freemantle’s eyes began to close.

  ‘Now, this is something I must learn,’ muttered Lady Letitia. She made her way down to the kitchen and brewed a pot of strong black coffee. She was of the old school who considered only upstarts roused their servants during the night to perform trivial tasks – although it was rumoured that the Prince Regent rang for his valet about forty times a night, demanding to know the time, even though he had a watch beside his bed.

  She carried cups and coffee upstairs, roused Mrs Freemantle again, and demanded she drink at least two cups. ‘For I must know what you meant by that remark about Pelham.’

  Mrs Freemantle groggily did as she was bid and then sat up looking bright and sober. It was a hard-drinking age, and Lady Letitia knew from experience that her friend’s sobriety would be only temporary.

  ‘Now, Agnes,’ she urged, ‘tell me about Pelham and Jenny.’

  ‘Infuriating man,’ roared Mrs Freemantle, pouring another cup of coffee and draining it in one gulp. ‘He ups and damns Miss Jenny as having neither wit nor charm. He says something about no gentleman of fashion should be seen dead dancing with her and quite ruined her.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Lady Letitia, ‘what shall I do? I confess I berated poor Jenny and told her that her lack of success was entirely due to her own vanity.’

  ‘Do not exercise yourself too much,’ said Mrs Freemantle, her old eyes suddenly sharp and shrewd. ‘It was montrous of Pelham, and I repaired much of the damage before the evening was out, but Jenny needs a set-down. I could not help noticing the contemptuous glances that young lady cast on me. She sets too much store on the outsides of people. How did it come about? You had the raising of her, Letitia.’

  ‘I am afraid I left her for too many years in the charge of an undemanding governess,’ said Lady Letitia ruefully. ‘I did at times feel she should be taught something more academic than Italian, water-colouring, and playing the pianoforte. But no one wants an intelligent girl. She has always been charming and beautiful and pleasing to people. She finished with her governess a short time ago, and it was only then I realized how vain she had become.’

  ‘As long as she learns to appear modest,’ said Mrs Freemantle, ‘then that is all that is required. You will soon be shot of her. With looks like hers, she will have her pick.’

  ‘But I love Jenny, and want her to be happy, and vain people are never happy.’

  ‘Fustian. London’s full of coxcombs who start their day each morning by admiring themselves in the glass. They are so pleased with themselves they never notice anyone else. It is quite the fashion . . . vanity, I mean. But don’t tell the child about Pelham. It will do her no harm to think she brought about her humiliation all by herself . . . that is, if you mean to reform her character. Now, we go to the Denbys’ musicale tonight. She will have a chance to shine.’

  ‘Do you always rattle about London at such a rate?’ asked Lady Letitia.

  ‘Always,’ said Mrs Freemantle, with a cavernous yawn. ‘Keeps me alive.’

  The brief party at Number 67 was over a few minutes after Jenny had left. Fergus prepared his master for bed and returned to the servants’ hall. They were all seated around the table again, studying a newspaper cutting, which was tucked out of sight into Rainbird’s pocket as soon as he appeared. Fergus tried to make conversation, but they so obviously wanted to be rid of him that he took himself, rather sadly, off to bed.

  ‘Now,’ said Rainbird, producing the cutting again, ‘there is this pub for sale in Highgate. It has stood empty for some time, so we will get it cheaply. It must need a lot of work, for it stands on the main road north. But we shall contrive, and a low price will leave us plenty to engage carpenters and builders. As soon as his grace takes himself off tomorrow – I mean today,’ he amended, looking at the clock, ‘I shall take a post-chaise to Highgate and see if I can secure the premises for us.’

  They sat for another half an hour, discussing what they would like to call the pub, what they wanted it to be like, and dreaming of the fine clients they would have, until Rainbird reminded them of the hour and said they would never rise in the
morning unless they all went immediately to bed.

  But for some of the servants, it was an uneasy night.

  Lizzie tossed and turned as she thought of marriage to Joseph. She was still fond of Joseph, of course. But marriage! Joseph had seemed such a grand creature in the early days of her employment, when she could barely read or write. But the education of Lizzie, started by a previous tenant, and continued by the staff as a whole, had changed her outlook. After a long time of considering herself of no account, Lizzie was beginning to think she might be worth someone a little kinder and a little less vain than Joseph.

  But she had been so much in love with him, and now everyone, including Joseph, had taken their future marriage as an accepted fact. Lizzie thought again of the Comte St Bertin’s valet, Mr Paul Gendreau, whom she had met when leaving the church earlier that year. He had treated her like a lady; he had been sympathetic. She could not forget him, however hard she tried. But Mr Gendreau was French, and French servants were even more class-conscious than English ones. It had amused him to be gallant to a scullery maid. He probably never thought of her. A tear rolled down Lizzie’s cheek and plopped on the thin blanket that covered her.

  Alice, too, was uneasy about her future. She kept seeing Fergus’s strong, tanned face. But she would soon be whipped off to freedom and Highgate, the duke would engage other servants, and she would never see Fergus again. She wanted to confide in the chambermaid, Jenny, with whom she shared a bed, but felt she might dim her friend’s excitement over the pub.

  She would have been surprised had she known that Jenny, too, was uneasy. Somehow, that Miss Jenny Sutherland, having the same first name as her own, had unsettled the chambermaid. It was an unfair world where one Jenny could wear pretty gowns and go to balls and dance with a duke, while she, the servant Jenny, was condemned to a life of servitude. For, Jenny thought gloomily, she would have little chance of marrying anyone interesting while she scrubbed the floors and waited on the customers in the tap. Like Lizzie, she felt she deserved something better in life – something better than the type of man who would propose to a servant in a pub, albeit a servant who owned part of the pub. She would probably get a proposal from one of those uncouth louts who were always on the look-out for a workhorse with some money, a wife to scrub and sew and clean.