by MJ Haag
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, I do. It’s frightening and makes me feel sick with worry at times; but it also warms me. When he’s near, I feel safe and loved.”
Father smiled and hugged me.
“Good,” he said close to my ear. “I’m glad something pleasant is coming from everything that’s happened.”
“Something very pleasant,” I said, pulling away. “But there is a reason to hurry this wedding.”
“Oh?”
“Otta is Rose, Aryana, whoever. She’s here, and she’s watching.”
His mouth dropped open.
“My hope is the sooner we’re wed, the sooner she will leave.”
“Have you told Alec?”
I shook my head.
“Can you imagine his temper and what he might do? I think it best to keep this to myself or he’ll find himself re-enchanted.”
Father nodded slowly.
“Then, we will see what the Head has to say.”
* * * *
Swiftly returned by dinner with the Head’s answer. Alec and I would marry in seven days. Alec called the staff together to make the announcement and to invite them to join us in celebrating our union. A few displayed shock. I wasn’t sure what reaction Otta gave as I kept my gaze purposefully averted from hers.
Egrit’s reaction, however, was hard to avoid. She rushed to me, her arms spread wide to wrap me in a breath defying hug. The excited squeal she let loose while she was pressed to my ear nearly deafened me.
“I’m so happy for you,” she breathed before she let me go. She beamed at me, a wide and almost crazed smile, before Tam gently pulled her away.
Mr. Crow hushed the gathering and turned to me.
“Do you have any special instructions?”
I thought for a moment then shook my head.
He gave a slight nod and motioned for everyone to return to their duties. Alec wrapped his hand around mine and led me back to the library. Father was already gone for the evening.
“Will you read to me?” Alec asked, already moving to select a book.
I smiled and sat on the lounge, pretending that a swarm of butterflies hadn’t invaded my insides. Alec brought me a book then moved to close the library door.
“Why are you closing the door?” I asked warily. He’d never closed it before.
He chuckled.
“Look at the book.”
I glanced at it and found no title on the leather cover. Opening it, I discovered why. A fiery blush claimed my face as I stared at the sketched image of a naked woman in the arms of a man. My eyes devoured the caption, “The many ways to please a woman.”
“I can’t read this.” I turned a few pages and found the amount of descriptive instruction equal to the images.
Alec sat beside me, and I jumped.
“And that is why you should read it,” he said. “Your only experience with this has been unpleasant.”
I opened my mouth to argue, and he silenced me with a finger over my lips.
“Because of your experiences, you’re afraid of something that can be quite pleasant. I don’t trust Bryn to instruct you as your mother might have, and I surmise your father would prefer to ignore the subject completely. I thought if you read this, you might not be so nervous on our wedding night.”
He lowered his hand, and I glanced at the book once more with a frown.
“Not aloud, though,” I said, looking up to silently plead with him.
He sighed and nodded.
“To yourself might be wise. But promise you’ll come to me with questions.”
“Yes. I swear.”
I couldn’t relax and read until he went to his study. Then, for the next hour, I found the answers to questions I hadn’t known to ask and a few that Aryana had refused to answer. Before long, the room—and my face—grew too warm to continue. Closing the book gently, I stared into the flames and considered what I’d learned.
Alec thought I feared our wedding night. I didn’t fear it because I knew he wasn’t the baker or Tennen. Yet, I hadn’t looked forward to it, either. The book had me reconsidering. The author expounded on the need to tease a woman’s body before introducing one’s manhood. The ridiculous term, even in my head, made me wince.
“Are you finished?”
Alec’s voice startled me, and I squeaked and turned. He stood just behind me, looking down at me. I quickly stood, clutching the book.
“For tonight. I’d like to keep it, if that’s all right.”
He nodded and offered his arm.
“Shall we retire?”
I set my hand upon his arm and let him lead me from the room.
That night, he only waited until I slid beneath the covers to join me. He pulled me back against his chest and set his arm about my waist as he usually did.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
“For what?”
“For staying. For agreeing to be my wife. For saving me from a life of depravity, deceit, and devastation.”
But had I saved him? I couldn’t be sure until we wed and Rose left us in peace.
* * * *
I woke with my head on Alec’s chest and my leg over his thighs. He wore a nightshirt and linen shorts. Regardless of his proper sleep attire, embarrassment would have flooded me, had it not been for the hand currently kneading my breast.
His touch was light yet, I still felt a thread of concern. Was he preparing me for more as the book had suggested?
I lifted my head to meet his gaze.
“Good morning,” he whispered, continuing his gentle massage.
“Good morning. Shouldn’t you be gone already?”
“There’s too much to keep me here,” he said.
Suddenly, he rolled so I was under him. Before I could panic, he ducked his head and closed his mouth over my nipple. I gasped in shock then pleasure as he suckled gently, sending waves of need rolling over me. Threading my fingers through his hair, I held him and tried to remember to breathe.
He lifted his head and grinned down at me.
“May I do that again tomorrow morning?”
That was all he wanted to do? I eagerly nodded.
“You can do it again now, if you’d like.”
He chuckled.
“I think not. We’ll be missed if we linger too long.”
With disappointment, I watched him flip back the covers and leave the bed. He didn’t turn back to look at me as he strode across the room and left me alone with my racing pulse.
I washed and dressed; and, by the time I finished, my pulse had returned to normal.
I opened the door to my room and found Alec waiting for me in the hall just as he had so long ago. His attendance touched something inside me and banished the remaining threads of doubt regarding our future together. I smiled at him and accepted his arm.
We spent the day together playing games in the library. Father joined us for a few of the games but mostly left us to our own amusement. Once Father retired after dinner, I again picked up the book and read until the room grew too warm. Alec escorted me to bed without comment.
Though he joined me and snuggled me predictably, my pulse still leapt at the memory of what had transpired that morning and what he’d promised would occur again. With a smile of anticipation, I closed my eyes.
He woke me with insistent kisses on my cheek, jaw, and neck. As soon as my eyes fluttered open, he kissed his way lower. My shirt already lay open for him, and I arched, reveling at the sensation of his exploring lips. His mouth closed over the same breast as the day before. The pleasant heat spread to my stomach and lower.
When he lifted his head, I gave him a sleepy smile.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
“It is,” I agreed.
He placed a kiss on the valley between my breasts then sat up. I wanted to pull him back down and beg him to continue for just a while longer. I considered doing just that, until he lifted a tray from beside the bed and turned to me.
&
nbsp; “Please tell me Egrit did not bring that,” I said with worry.
He laughed, his amused grin making him impossibly handsome.
“I went to the kitchen and brought this myself.”
“In your nightshirt?”
He laughed loudly, and I clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. He licked my palm, pulled my hand away, and kissed my knuckles.
“Don’t worry. I put on pants.” He leaned back and picked up a piece of dried apple from the tray and fed it to me.
“Phillip mentioned we have a fair store of meat and lard but are low on everything else. Mrs. Wimbly did the purchasing when she was here, traveling to Konrall for flour and occasionally visiting the Water for produce. However, Mr. Crow wasn’t sure if you wanted Kara to attempt it or if you wanted to make the purchases yourself during your next trip to the Water.”
“I can make the purchases. Do we have apples to trade?”
“We do. Will you take Swiftly with you?”
“Of course.”
* * * *
Swiftly pulled the wagon to a stop in the market district and hopped down from his seat. As he came around to help me from my perch, I took a fortifying breath and eyed the different merchant stores that offered produce. The last time I’d tried to trade hadn’t gone well.
“Thank you,” I said. “If you want to stay with the apples, I’ll see if I can find someone willing to trade.”
The first merchant greeted me with an air of indifference and said he would take a basket from me but only offered a few coppers.
“There are apples everywhere,” he said. “It’s harvest season. You won’t find a better price.”
I thanked him and tried several more merchants only to receive similar answers. With a frown, I returned to the wagon.
“They’re not worth the trade. We would be better served to press the majority into tart cider as my father suggested.” That meant I would need to part with some gold to buy the supplies I needed. Supplies we couldn’t bring back with a wagon full of apples.
“Let’s move the wagon to the trade street, Swiftly.”
Doors opened before we even parked. Homes with children received the milk and cheese Kara had sent; however, the apples were so plentiful, we gave some to every house. Retta’s mother didn’t ask about her children, but she did thank us for the apples.
Back on the market street, I went to the merchants who had advertised the lowest prices and purchased sacks of vegetables and a small bag of sugar. While I waited by the wagon for Swiftly to carry the sacks, a familiar voice called my name.
I turned and saw Blye briskly walking my way. Her bright smile confused me, as did her exuberant hug.
“You look well,” she said, her volume hurting my ear. She pulled back and smiled at me as she gave my arms a sisterly squeeze. Her gaze slid to the side then returned.
“How are the wedding plans? Have you and Lord Ruhall set a date?”
Movement around us slowed, and I realized her game. I averted my gaze to hide my anger and spotted Ila not far away. Her gaze met mine, and I found understanding there.
“Excuse me, Blye,” I said, pulling from her false embrace. “I don’t have much time here and need to speak with someone.” I turned toward Ila.
Behind me, Blye twittered.
“I understand. I’ll see you soon,” she called.
Ila smiled in greeting as I joined her. Her hug felt true and welcoming.
“How are things with you?” I asked, withdrawing from her embrace. We started a slow walk toward the house of the Sisters.
“Well,” she said with an excited grin. “Henick came to take me for a ride yesterday.” Her eyes sparkled with excitement. It was the most animated I’d ever seen her.
“Ila, I’m so happy for you. He knows everything, then?”
She nodded. “Just as you said, he didn’t care. Have you started to make plans for your wedding? Is your sister making your dress now that you’ll be Lady Ruhall?”
I snorted in a very unlady like way.
“No, Blye will not make my dress, though I’m sure she’d like to. I’ll wear the one you made me. Alec contacted the Head, and we’ll marry in a week. I would like you to attend, Ila. It will be a very quiet ceremony,” I said quickly, “so please don’t mention it.”
“I won’t say a word. And I would be delighted to attend.”
When we reached her house, she turned around and started the walk back to the wagon with me. Swiftly had everything loaded when she and I parted with a final hug.
“I will see you soon,” she said with a wave. Her words made me smile.
* * * *
The time until the wedding whittled away. Alec entertained me with walks, games, and fishing during the day. At night, I continued reading the book. The author’s descriptions, and Alec’s attentions when I woke, convinced me there could be more to the experience than I’d been exposed to. Though it reduced my hesitancy and my fears, nervous anticipation remained.
The day before my wedding dawned bright. I found myself on my back, my shirt spread open, and Alec’s fingers tracing an idle path between my sternum and bellybutton.
“Good morning,” he said with a secret smile that made my toes curl.
“Good morning.”
Though he hadn’t touched them, my breasts already ached because I knew what was to come. He didn’t disappoint. He leaned over and set his mouth on me. I closed my eyes with a contented sigh. His fingers continued to trail my stomach, then down my legs. I knew what he was about and didn’t mind. I trusted him and relaxed my legs.
Instead of trailing closer to where I ached, he pulled away from me altogether and stared down at me.
His face was flushed and full of want.
“One more day,” he said, his voice husky, “then you’re mine. Forever.”
I nodded. “One more day.” Saying it made my nerves jump but I didn’t let it show.
“What would you like to do today?”
“If Kara doesn’t mind, let’s do something in the kitchen. We can do better than coddled eggs and egg tartlets.”
He grinned and nodded.
“Dress,” he said. “I’ll meet you there.”
I quickly obeyed and hurried to the kitchen, excited to spend another day with him. To my surprise, Bryn was at the block, kneading dough. When Alec had confronted her at the bakery, I hadn’t given any thought to her returning to work in his kitchen.
She looked up at me, hurt painting her face.
“Were you going to tell me?” she asked.
I knew she meant the wedding.
“You’ve made it quite clear you want nothing to do with me as your sister, and I want nothing to do with you as Lady Ruhall.”
Her gaze turned sad, and she nodded.
“I have. And I’m sorry for it. I hope one day that changes.”
I inclined my head, neither agreeing nor disagreeing and left the kitchen. As much as I didn’t want her there, I didn’t have it in me to turn her away for Edmund’s sake and her babe.
Alec met me in the hallway.
“Do you no longer wish to cook?”
“No. I was thinking we might talk to Father about fermenting apples.”
Thus, we spent the day before our wedding pressing apples.
* * * *
Egrit woke me with a chipper good morning and a laugh when I sat up in a panic.
“Don’t worry. I warned him I would wake you this morning.”
I blushed crimson as she took my gown from the wardrobe and laid it out on the bed.
“Would you like a bath?”
I shook my head no. Sticky with the juice from far too many apples, I’d had no choice but to bathe the night before. My hair was oiled and dry.
“To relax?”
“Not now, but I might need one after dinner.”
“Then, if you’re ready, there is someone here to see you. She thought you might like company and offered to do your hair.”
A smile lit my face.
“Ila?”
Egrit nodded.
I spent a pleasant morning closed in my room with Ila. She took her time braiding and weaving my hair and helped me into my dress.
“Do you have any questions about tonight?” she asked. “Are you nervous? Frightened? It would be understandable if you were.”
“I am nervous but not afraid.”
“Good,” she said, stepping back to eye her work. “You are a beauty.”
I laughed lightly.
“Thanks to your efforts. Thank you for staying with me, Ila.”
She hugged me tightly. “I’m glad I’m here.” When she pulled back, she wrapped my hand around her arm and led me from the room. My heart fluttered at the reality of what would soon take place. I would marry Alec.
Neither of us spoke as we walked down the hall toward the library. My nerves prevented it, and she seemed to understand.
All my trepidation evaporated when we turned the corner, and I spotted Alec pacing outside the library doors. He froze when he saw me. Beside me, Ila excused herself and went in.
Alec and I stared at each other for a moment before he exhaled slowly and strode toward me. He was dressed in dark pants and a matching jacket. A red bloom was tucked into the lapel, matching the threads in my gown.
When he reached me, his blue gaze swept over me.
“You are beautiful,” he breathed. He reached for me, gently running his knuckles along my cheek.
“Will you stay? Will you be my wife?”
I turned my head to kiss his hand.
“I will stay. I will be your wife.”
He pulled me close and set his lips on mine. The passion behind his kiss robbed me of thought.
A throat cleared and reluctantly Alec pulled back. I blinked at him and then glanced toward the doors. My father stood there, his amused smile causing me to grin in return.
“I wanted to hug you one last time as my daughter before you become Lady Ruhall,” he said, approaching me.
Eagerly, I hugged him.
“I love you, Father.”
“And I you.” He held me tightly for a moment more before surrendering me to Alec.