Dad is not gay

by N. Schwalbe

  »I’m sorry!«

  »Psst.« Luca dragged Tom through the hall directly into the sleeping room. He put off his pants and jumped on the bed. »Come!«

  Tom followed him and, hesitantly, lay on the coversheet. »What do you have in mind?«

  Luca stretched out his hands and let them run over Tom’s back. »I elicit the incidents of the last few days.«

  Tom’s lower lip trembled. »There’s nothing you could elicit from me,« he lied trying to maintain his composure, but Luca’s fingers set off a wave of shiver, so Tom hid his face and let his tears take its course.

  »Everything will be fine,« Luca said in a whisper. He pulled Tom’s shirt out of his pants and pushed it upwards to massage his back. As he reached his neck, Tom moaned softly. Spurred on, Luca bit into Tom’s muscles. »I feel so sorry for everything! I should have known that the paparazzi lie in wait everywhere, even in Australia. I should have better watched out!«

  Tom raised his head. »It’s not your fault.«

  Luca sighed. »But I’m feeling guilty.«

  Tom leaned forward and kissed Luca. »You don’t need to. Sooner or later, we would have to find a solution anyway. Or would you have wanted to hide forever and to live in fear of being discovered?«

  »No.«

  Tom turned on one side and unbuttoned his shirt. »Did you know I’m gay?« He wiped away his tears and smiled.

  Luca raised his brows. »An interesting question!« Lecherous, he looked at Tom’s muscular chest. »I guess I’ve missed you inner coming-out, haven’t I?«

  »Seems like it,« Tom said shyly.

  »Does that mean I may fuck you?«

  Tom laughed but cast down his eyes. He opened his belt and put off his pants. »How would you like it?«

  At lightning speed, Luca put off his shirt and let his tongue run over Luca’s body. He moved it slowly downwards along the spine over the buttocks to the rosette.

  Tom smelled that fruity, that Luca licked over his anus with pleasure and played with the sphincter.

  Tom moaned as he felt something hot and moist penetrate into his anus. »God, Luca, what are you doing?«

  »I’ll try to creep into your body.«

  »With what?« Tom raised his head.

  Luca stuck his tongue out.

  Tom just goggled. »Are you serious?«

  »May I?«

  »I’m afraid I’m too sober for that. Would you mind taking your finger?« Tom blushed. He felt silly but he could not overcome his inhibitions.

  »No, it wouldn’t! I do nothing you don’t want, even though you’re smelling and tasting extremely delicious.«

  »Thanks.« Tom lay back again and enjoyed the feeling Luca was setting off by licking his ass with his tongue and pushing his fingers in the direction of his prostate. Tom thought he would burst and as Luca finally pushed his dick deeply into his anus, he almost hit the roof.

  »Oh God, Luca!« Tom lay on the bed moaning with pleasure and enjoying every touch of his nerves. Luca pulled his wang out of the rosette emphatically slow and penetrated again. He repeated these proceedings until Tom screamed with lust and begged for release. The emotions exploded inside him and almost drove him mad.

  Luca shortened his bumps and additionally pushed one finger into the anus to feel Tom’s prostate.

  Tom had no willpower anymore; he writhed and felt a never ending craving until his prostate cheered and his cock flung an amazing load of spunk on the coversheet.

  Seconds later, Luca’s shaft twitched in Tom’s ass.

  Luca pulled out his dick and lay on Tom’s back. Then, he carefully removed the condom.

  Tom snuggled up to Luca and looked out of the dormer into the cloudless sky. »When I’m with you, my problems seem to be small and insignificant.«

  Luca kissed Tom’s forehead. »We’ll get a grip on it, too. Time will bring solutions.«

  Tom smiled. »Do you feel like going on a trip with the kids and me?«

  Luca straightened up. »Seriously?«

  »Yes.«

  Two cheeky dimples appeared on Luca’s cheeks. »What were you thinking about?«

  »The zoo.«

  »Great idea!« Luca leaned forward and gave Tom a kiss.

  ***

  »Thank you for babysitting.« Tom smiled at Sandra who had Penny clinging to her leg.

  Sandra lifted her niece and hugged her. »That goes without saying, Tom.«

  »Daddy, will you come back after the parent-teacher meeting?« Penny asked scared.

  Tom caressed his daughter and kissed her. »Of course, my love, I’ll be at school only for one hour. I haven’t planned to sleep there.«

  »Mom didn’t come back, too.«

  Tom’s stomach contracted painfully.

  Indeed, Zoe behaved very selfish.

  She had told him that she could not live with him anymore under the same roof and, though, he had proposed to move out himself, she had packed her stuff telling him she needed some distance. And so, she moved to her parents.

  That was three weeks ago.

  She had not shown up a single moment up to now.

  Tom took care of the kids, brought them to school and to the kindergarten in the mornings, picked them up in the afternoons or let Sandra or his mother pick them up when he had to work; he made dinner, went shopping in the meantime, did not even manage to control homework of his eldest and ran the household only meagerly. In the evenings, he fell into bed shattered at eight p.m. to function again the next day. It was a wonder he still had time to breath.

  The little hours he had seen Luca since then, were still stolen moments – and Tom always had a bad conscience and the silly feeling that he was not entitled to them.

  »Mom is angry with Dad and that’s why she is living at Grandma’s at the moment,« Tom explained trying to have a neutral intonation.

  Indeed, he was very angry with his wife because even if she did not want to deal with him anymore she was still the mother of their kids. And the fact, that he was together with Luca, did not change it.

  »Do you promise to come back?« Penny’s lower lip trembled suspiciously while tears welled up in her big wide eyes.

  »Yes, my darling,« Tom promised softly. He kissed Penny goodbye and left before she could burst into tears.

  The teacher greeted him friendly as he arrived at the classroom of his son shortly after.

  »Good evening, Mr Weidemeyer! May I have a word for five minutes?«

  Tom nodded and followed her to the neighbored classroom.

  Mrs Keller cleared her throat. »Benno has quietened down in the last few weeks, although he had just come out of his shell and formed first friendships. After the difficult start, he participated in the lessons and made jokes with the kids. But all of a sudden, this ended approximately three weeks ago.«

  Tom breathed hard as if a heavy load lay on his chest. »My wife split up with me and moved out three weeks ago.«

  »Oh.« Mrs Keller’s face spoke volumes. »It would be nice if you could inform us of such changes enabling us to respond to the children.«

  »I’m sorry, Mrs Keller. I’ve tried to think of everything but I really didn’t think of that.« Tom made a face.

  »Does your wife see the kids regularly?«

  Tom shook his head and felt twice as guilty. In fact, he had crumbled into the soup. »No. She hasn’t seen the kids up to now. I guess that’s my entire fault.«

  He hesitated.

  How far should he go to inform the form teacher about his private life?

  He himself had just faced the fact that he was queer – or bi, or whatever – and he doubted that he was already prepared to pass this awkward change of his life on to another person.

  »Why is that your fault? I’ve thought two persons belong to a marriage – and to a separation?« She looked at him friendly and Tom felt that she was not prepared to let go off.

  »I’m in love with a man,« he scrambled down as fast as possible hoping she would only hear half of it.
/>   Mrs Keller raised her brows. »I think I remember the headlines.«

  Tom blushed.

  Nervously, he fiddled around with his car keys.

  Mrs Keller put her hand on his arm. »That’s not bad, Mr Weidemeyer. We’re all human! And sometimes, love hits home where one is expecting it least – or where one doesn’t need it least,« she added understanding.

  Tom could only nod.

  His senses of guilt had been eating at him for a while now. And the fact that his son suffered from this situation so much that he went into his shell again, drove him mad.

  He wanted to help, but he had not got a clue, how. And suddenly, he had the feeling he could trust Mrs Keller, that she would not shun him like all the others. »I haven’t got the foggiest how to handle this situation, Mrs Keller.« Tears welled up in his eyes and he wiped them away quickly. »I go all the way to make everything right with the kids but, up to now, I could have counted on the great support of my wife. Now, I’ve been lumbered with everything. I feel guilty and like to help my kids, but I really don’t know what to do.«

  Mrs Keller touched his arm again. »Mr Weidemeyer, unfortunately, I’m no therapist, but from my point of view as a teacher I’d say it’s important to show your kids how much you love them. You should show them that you’re dependent on their help and can’t manage on your own. You’ve very smart children, Mr Weidemeyer. I’m sure they’ll understand.«

  One parent popped her head around the door. »Could we start soon, Mrs Keller? The parents are all present!«

  »We’ll come in a minute, Mrs Mueller!« Mrs Keller turned back to Tom. »May I ask if you still meet this man you’re in love with? Is it something serious?«

  »Yes,« a smile emerged on Tom’s face, »It is serious. But we haven’t got more than a few stolen hours in the last few weeks.«

  »May I give you another advice?«

  Tom nodded.

  »Children are sensitive. They have good feeler. Probably, they feel that you are emotionally and intellectually occupied elsewhere but that you can’t or don’t want to take your time with your friend because of the kids. Children subliminally feel when their parents are unhappy. And despite the fact, that your kids suffer from the separation from their mother it might probably not be wrong to bring your friend home.«

  »Thanks, Mrs Keller!« Tom was choked with emotion.

  »You’re welcome, Mr Weidemeyer, and if you have any question or need any help you can call me. We have also an educational psychologist who comes to our school once a week having office hours.«

  Tom thanked her a second time and went back into their classroom, lost in thought.

  Although, he made notes during the whole meeting he was only half listening. His longing to bring Luca home, grew with every second he was thinking about Mrs Keller’s proposal.

  ***

  »Have you had enough?« Tom stowed away the freshly cut cucumbers, carrots and apples into his backpack and looked at his kids.

  As everyone nodded, he chased them to the toilet. »Well, get washed, go for a pee and then we’ll start.«

  »Where do we go to, Daddy?« Maja asked for the third time.

  »You little pest, wait and see!«

  »We’re definitely going to the zoo,« Benno interjected.

  Tom stared at his son in surprise. »What makes you say that?«

  »The zoo guidebook is looking out of your daybag,« Benno said grinning.

  Tom opened his mouth. »Oh, no, I’m so stupid!«

  Penny patted his arm. »It doesn’t matter, Daddy. I can’t read by now.«

  Tom laughed and left the breakfast table, while the kids went into the bathroom, blathering.

  »Do you come, too, Anton?« Benno asked his older brother.

  Anton shook his head. »Nope. Today, I have a football tournament in Ahrensburg.«

  »Oh, poor one,« Penny said empathetically.

  »You could cancel and accompany us,« Tom proposed but Anton shook his head again. »No, Dad. The team needs me.«

  »Does Mom accompany us?« Maja asked, putting on her shoes.

  »No,« Tom answered, taken aback. »Mom writes examinations at university and has to learn a lot. She’s got no time for the zoo.«

  »That’s an idiotic excuse,« Anton said frowning. »Mom has always had time for us at the weekends.«

  »But I guess, she wouldn’t want to come with us since Luca will accompany us,« Tom said in a whisper.

  So, now the cat was out of the bag!

  Dark thunderclouds appeared on Anton’s face, while Penny, Benno and Maja beamed like it’s going out of style.

  »Luca is so amazing,« Maja said dreamily.

  »He’s queer, Maja,« Anton interjected condescendingly.

  His sister shrugged. »So what? But he’s still cool.«

  »I like him, too,« Benno said, hugging his little inland taipan made of rubber – his permanent company which Luca had brought from Australia.

  »I like him, too,« Penny put in her own two bits.

  Tom grinned.

  Penny liked everything her beloved brother liked.

  »Good. Then, we have also clarified this. Let’s go now or we’ll be too late.«

  He dropped Anton off at his friend on their way to the zoo and roared through the city. Excited, the kids were sliding on their seats as they saw the huge giraffe in front of the entrance of the zoo.

  »There’s the zoo,« Benno called out.

  »Where?« Penny flattened her nose, while Tom turned into the parking place.

  »You’ll see it in a minute,« Benno reassured his little sister.

  Tom parked the car and helped everyone getting out. Then, he grabbed his backpack and went, going together with Penny and Benno and having Maja in tow, across the zebra crossing to the entrance of the zoo.

  Luca was already waiting for them waving with the tickets.

  Tom let his kids shake hands with Luca first. Since the kids were already running to the entrance, Tom seized the opportunity to kiss Luca hello.

  Luca smiled. »Well, that’s what I call a welcome!«

  Tom laughed out relieved. »The zoo is exactly what we need to introduce you to our family. The kids are wild about it.«

  »Then let’s go inside, otherwise the three beet noses will do a bunk!«

  They showed their tickets and, first, marched to the elephants. Since it was early in the morning, none of the pachyderms was seen on the outside area, so they entered the elephants’ house.

  »Poo, that stinks!« Penny said and grinned. »They’ve probably shitted, haven’t they?«

  Tom pinched her.

  Penny squealed with delight and ran away. »Don’t, Daddy! That tickles!«

  Luca bought a big bag with fresh vegetables and let the kids feed the elephants.

  Afterwards, Benno slipped into Tom’s hand. »Dad?«

  »Yes, Benno?«

  »Could we also go to the Troparium?«

  »Oh, yes, we wanna see saltwater crocodiles,« Penny called boisterously.

  »They only live in Australia,« Benno explained with a serious frown. »That’s too far away, Penny. You gotta go there by plane.«

  »I’ve never been going by plane,« Penny said.

  »Then, we probably should go to the Troparium,« Luca proposed.

  »But we have only tickets for the zoo,« Maja said, lifting up her ticket.

  »Oh, do we have to buy different tickets?« Luca looked at his ticket unhappily. »Can we still buy them?«

  »Sure.« Tom nodded.

  They went back to the ticket booth and set foot into the Troparium five minutes later. The kids flitted enthusiastically from one terrarium to the next, while Tom and Luca followed them leisurely.

  Finally, they stopped in front of the seahorses.

  »The male seahorses get the babies,« Benno explained.

  Luca looked at the little sandy-colored creatures with interest. »Honestly? I haven’t known that.«

  Now, Benno blossomed.<
br />
  For the next hour, he explained everything he knew about animals. He told his sister that frogs were no reptiles but amphibians and showed her the huge boa. »But the anaconda in South America is bigger. She can also gobble people.«

  Reverential, Penny gazed into the terrarium.

  Unfortunately, the tour lead only in one direction, thus, they had to leave the Troparium at the end of the tour.

  »Daddy, can we go to the monkeys?« Maja asked.

  Tom nodded. »Sure, my darling, and after seeing the tigers we’ll go to the playground.«

  »Jippieh,« Penny cried out and flitted after her sibs as fast as her short legs could carry her.

  Tom took Luca’s hand and followed them, strolling.

  Luca smiled. »Nice.«

  »What’s nice?«

  Luca lifted their hands and smiled even broader. »Now that everyone knows that I’m queer I’d like to show the whole world that I love you.«

  Tom paused. »I love you, too!« He gave Luca a quick kiss.

  Penny giggled behind her hands and nudged him. »Look, Benno, Daddy has kissed Luca.«

  Benno nodded with a severe frown. »That’s how it is when you’re gay, Penny. Then, a man loves a man.«

  Penny waggled her head in agreement. »Yes, that’s it, my Benno-brother.«

  They spend a longer time in the monkey house.

  Luca bought some ice-cream and as soon as they’ve finished, they passed the lazy tigers.

  Finally, they arrived at the huge playground. Immediately, the kids started running towards the slides and swings.

  Tom and Luca were occupied looking after Penny and Benno, while Maja sat quietly on the dragon swing which she did not leave for the next half hour.

  »Kids, what do you think of a large portion of French fries and grilled sausages?« Luca finally asked.

  Tom pointed at his backpack shaking his head. »I’ve brought a lot of fruits and vegetables.«

  »May I invite you?« Luca pleaded with an irresistible look.

  The kids were wildly persuading Tom until he finally agreed.

  It was not that he did not like fast food, but he was not able to estimate the costs of his separation from Zoe.

  As soon as they sat at one of the long wooden tables eating their French fries, some women came over, begging Luca for an autograph.