Goddess

by Julie Anne Lindsey

  I dried my hands on a towel and whistled for Chester. “We’re going for a walk.”

  Mom and Dad retreated to the couch with a blanket and two glasses of wine. Mom smiled. “Take your time.”

  I hooked Chester into his leash and headed outside, prepared for Antarctic weather. To my surprise, the day was fifty and sunny. I unzipped my coat and followed Chester around the house toward the Hale family cemetery. Scents of a hundred Thanksgiving meals tinged the crisp fall air.

  Chester barked at the giant oak tree in the cemetery’s center, foregoing his routine of peeing seven hundred times and sniffing every blade of grass along the way. He tugged and pulled against the leash until he had to stop and gag.

  Tom arrived seconds later. “Everything okay?”

  I rubbed Chester’s throat and tummy while he tried to climb through my arms to get to the tree.

  Tom moved ahead of us and widened his stance. “Come out.”

  I prayed for a family of frolicking squirrels and not another giant. If I died on Thanksgiving, Mom would never cook again.

  Leaves rustled and twigs crunched. Whatever was behind the tree was heavy, i.e. not a squirrel. I reached for Tom’s arm. “Maybe we should go.”

  Tom ignored me. “Come out.”

  Several heartbeats later, Justin stepped into view.

  I dropped Chester’s leash and ran for him, with Chester on my heels. We barreled into Justin like the Flintstone’s dog, but he didn’t fall. He wouldn’t. His transformation gave him the balance and wherewithal of stone.

  He wrapped me in a warm embrace and stroked the length of my hair against the slick material of my coat. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I wanted to think and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I could be alone. You’ve always liked it here. I hoped I’d get to see you before I had to leave.”

  I stepped back and looked him over for signs of injury or distress. “You wanted to find a place where you could be alone? You mean, a place where the Stians won’t find you?”

  Justin tipped his hat to Tom. “Can we have a few minutes alone? I’ve got this.”

  Tom looked at me for the answer.

  “I’m okay.” I assured him with a crumbling smile. Justin’s sorrow filled my heart.

  I followed Justin to the low stone wall near an ancient willow and sat beside him. “I’ve been so worried. How are you?” What a stupid question. What else could I ask without sounding like I was digging for information on his clan instead of interested in the well-being of a friend?

  His Adam’s apple dipped and rose. “I ran into Adam and a few of the guys I hung out with last month. I told them I was going camping and they said, ‘Would you like to join us?’”

  I tipped over, resting my weight against Justin’s arm. “You joined the Stian clan.”

  He exhaled long and slow. “I had no idea.”

  He didn’t know a lot of things. Which was good news. If Justin didn’t know he was a Watcher meant to be with the Hales, the Stians didn’t know either.

  I patted his knee, fighting for air in the stifling fog of emotion. “What about the rest?”

  “Super-speed and strength I can live with. Lying to my parents, everyone at the rodeo, and all my friends? Sucks.”

  “Yeah.” A knot in my throat made swallowing impossible.

  He wrapped his arm across my shoulders. “I can’t believe you’ve been going through this for the last few weeks alone and I’ve been on your back about who you’re dating. I’m awful. Why didn’t you cut me loose instead of trying to smooth it over?”

  I sighed. “You’re part of me, and I was lying to you. I was a jerk. Too selfish to give you up. Besides, I haven’t been alone. I’ve had a manor full of guys to guide and reassure me. They’ve been patient and kind while I muddle through this. Are the others kind to you?” My voice trembled.

  “They’re okay.”

  I sensed a shift in his emotions. Anger warred with passion and shame. “The emotions are rough too, huh?”

  He stilled at my side. “Yeah. Intense. Especially the…lust… Is that why you kissed me?”

  I shoved away, thankful for his ornery voice. Maybe everything between us wasn’t ruined. “You kissed me.”

  “You let me. You probably could’ve stopped me with your pinky finger…or just said no.”

  Guilt spread through me. “You were in reckless-and-about-to-transform mode, and I’m still struggling with the emotions and stress of this life. We were a bad combination, standing too close at a terrible time.”

  “I thought so.” He rubbed his palms over the material of his jeans. “Touch is the easiest outlet. I tried running, riding, and working out. It’s hard to handle the energy when it fills you. I can’t go around punching people in the face, so it’s kind of nice that touch works to settle things.”

  I scrutinized his face. Nym was with him when Lisle saw him. “Liam said the intensity will pass when we settle into who we truly are. Our energy will stay high, but it becomes the new norm.”

  An image stopped my tongue. He’d said touch was the easiest outlet. Frustration seeped over me, partially from Justin. Mostly from me. “Speaking of passion outlets, how’s Nym?”

  He bristled. His carefully composed expression didn’t fool me. He didn’t know I knew. “She’s not the awful person you think she is. She’s been good to me.”

  “I bet.”

  He gaped. “Nym’s great. How’s Liam?”

  Not a sneaky liar, for one thing. Also, my actual boyfriend. Not some chic who rolled into town cloaked in secrets and oozing contempt. “He’s great.”

  “Good.”

  “Great.”

  We turned on the stones and stared into one another’s stubborn faces.

  He chuckled. “Your eyes are glowing. What does that mean for you? Are you mad or are you going to kiss me again?”

  I pressed my lips into a hard line, choosing my words. “I’m frustrated. I don’t think Nym is who she says she is, and you’re in danger with the Stians. You need to come to Hale Manor. Liam said there might be a way to undo your clan choice.”

  Justin hopped off the wall, all signs of humor blown away on the breeze. “No way. I’m not putting you in danger. Those guys hate the Hales, and you, a lot. They’re looking for reasons to attack. I won’t be the reason they do. My dad’s always said, sometimes a man has to live with his choices. I made mine.” Agitation gushed around him. His fingers twitched at his sides and he looked over both shoulders.

  I curled my hands into fists. “You made those choices under duress and without the information Liam’s family was created to deliver because I stepped in and screwed that up.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m fine. I’m safe. Unhurt. I don’t want you worrying about me or coming after me. Sounds like you have plenty to worry about already.” He turned in a slow circle, frustration hitting monstrous levels. “You want to know the craziest part? All I’ve ever wanted was someone to love and protect. It’s an instinct or something. Then I fell for you and I wanted to be the person you ran to when you were in trouble. And I was, but protecting you was impossible because you were so hardheaded. Now you’re taken and the only girl on earth with a whole army of men to protect her. You give me an attitude about my relationship with Nym, but where am I supposed to fit into your life? I don’t know who I am anymore.”

  I’d had the same identity crisis every day for almost a month. “Justin.”

  He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Everything has changed and I’m sorting it out. My life might’ve been overly simple before, but that was by design. I was rooted and happy. I knew what I was good at and where I wanted to be. I had a plan to grow old in a rocking chair with family filling the yard every Fourth of July. Simple country living. Now this? What am I supposed to do with this?”

  “You were never simple and neither was that dream.” I hopped down beside him. “Everyone’s life is complicated. We can get through t
his better together than apart.”

  He stepped back. “Do me a favor and don’t tell Nym anything about me. Give me this for a little while.”

  “She is not what she seems. I guarantee she knows all about you already.”

  He scoffed. “I’d better go. They’ll look for me soon. Keep Tom close by. The Stians lost two more guys this week and they’re blaming you. Anyone could be next. It can’t be you. Got that?” Hope filled the space between us. “You’re going to be okay, Callie.”

  I grabbed his hand. “Maybe we weren’t meant to be together, but we aren’t meant to be apart, either. I can feel it. I know it. I’ll fix this somehow. I promise.”

  He peeled my hand off him and dropped a kiss on my head. The act wrenched my heart in two. He waved toward the manor.

  “Everything okay?” Tom’s voice startled me. I spun on my heels.

  The whip of wind behind me said Justin was long gone. I didn’t have to turn back to see. I felt his absence in my soul.

  Chapter 17

  I dove into Liam’s pool, hoping to work out an unprecedented amount of mental tangles. Prioritizing my thoughts was impossible. Worries circled like an out-of-control fair ride. I barely thought of one concern before another jumped in front. I pushed my limbs to move faster, enjoying the unique sensation of a saltwater pool on sea-nymph skin. Liam kept pace beside me, lap for lap, silently supporting me. If I couldn’t work out a solid plan of action in the water, maybe I’d at least wear myself out and get a good night’s sleep.

  I stretched for the wall and glided to a stop. “I think my brain is busted.”

  Tom peeped over the top of a book on divorce. He’d insisted on watching us swim in case we were ambushed while underwater. “According to this book, couples often break up and reconcile numerous times before truly calling it quits. A surprising number of couples remarry.”

  I rubbed my eyes. “Great.” He wanted to help me with my human worries since he admitted to helplessness in the bigger problems. We couldn’t find the giants. We’d finally found the Stians and couldn’t attack in case Justin was accidentally hurt in the mix.

  Liam floated the last three meters to his place beside me. “You’re getting faster. A week ago I would’ve said it was impossible.”

  “A fat lot of good it does me. I can’t accept a swim scholarship now. That’d be the lowest move ever, and where else is this particular gift useful?” I nodded toward Chester. “Why can’t I unwind like him?”

  Chester gnawed a rubber bone on the custom doggie bed Mason bought him. Handcrafted food and water dishes sat in a wooden contraption beside the bed, apparently so Chester didn’t have to reach all the way to the floor for a snack.

  “Mason didn’t have to buy my dog stuff.”

  Liam wrapped strong fingers around my narrow waist and towed me to him. “Mason’s a dog nut. He wants a puppy for the house. I catch him on rescue sites all the time. Besides, at least Chester stopped trying to drink from the pool. Salt water isn’t good for him.”

  Tom took notice of our embrace and stood. “I’ll wait in the kitchen.”

  I shot an arm overhead. “Wait. Can we talk? The three of us. Talking through my mental clutter might help me think.”

  He dropped the book and came to sit at the pool’s edge. “Certainly.”

  I turned to Liam. “Justin was really upset today. He tried not to let it show, but I felt it. He doesn’t want to be with the Stians. They basically tricked him into joining them, and now he’s stuck and stubborn. He won’t leave.”

  Tom scooted closer. “He seems to believe he’s protecting Callie by staying.”

  I scoffed. “You were listening?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, don’t.”

  He wrinkled his forehead. “Just your conversations with him?”

  I guffawed. “No. Unless I ask you to eavesdrop, don’t.” Embarrassment burned my cheeks. How many conversations had he overheard?

  Liam released me and focused on Tom, wealth of information that he was. “Could it be that he doesn’t want to see Callie and me together?”

  “He’s said that before.”

  I pointed at Tom. “No more repeating overheard conversations of mine.” I sorted through our talk at the cemetery. “He was different this time. He seemed less interested in me in that way, more disappointed at how his life plan blew up. He’s apparently attached himself to Nym and believes she’s just some new girl.” Something else came to mind. “Shouldn’t he be more interested in me now that he’s changed, instead of less? I thought Vikings were drawn to nymphs?”

  “Are you disappointed in the change?” Liam asked.

  “I’m hopeful, actually. If Justin can see me as his best friend again, instead of as a potential love interest, we might be able to work all this out. Justin and I are great at getting things accomplished when everything isn’t clouded in hormones and nonsense.”

  Tom lifted a finger. “He mentioned releasing frustration through touch. Maybe he’s satisfied in the romance department and has no reason to look elsewhere.”

  Still, the concept confused me. “What about the other men staying here? When the nymphs first arrived, you said the attraction was powerful. I saw men falling over themselves to talk with them and when Zoe and the girls come by, I’m bombarded with lust from the Vikings. Not to be a diva, but am I broken?”

  Tom chortled, caught Liam’s gaze, and straightened his expression.

  Liam put on his sweetest faux innocence face. “When you’re with the men, do you sense fear and reverence?”

  “Yes. Curiosity too, but I understand that. I’m in a novel position, but I’m still a nymph. Why the fear and reverence?”

  “We all want to live,” Tom informed me.

  Liam batted long black lashes. Water droplets traced the sharp lines of his face. “I might have overexaggerated the repercussions of making advances of any sort on my girlfriend.”

  “Explicit, bloody exaggerations.” Tom pretended to zip his lips when Liam glared.

  I rolled my eyes. “You threatened them. That’s ridiculous.”

  “Perhaps, but also practical, necessary, and completely true. You should’ve expected it.” Liam dragged a finger over the runes on my arm.

  Another question popped into mind. “Why don’t I see Justin’s runes like I see ours?”

  “Have you ever examined him fully naked?” Tom asked.

  “I’ve seen him in his boxer briefs getting changed.”

  Liam raised an eyebrow.

  “That was almost a year ago.”

  Tom leaned forward. “And?”

  “I tried not to stare. I was twice as uncomfortable as him, and he loved it.”

  “I bet,” Liam quipped.

  Tom tapped the tile flooring. “No runes?”

  “I don’t know. Lots of scars. He’s hurt every inch of himself twice, I think. Wherever he’s hiding them, they aren’t like this.” I twisted my arms in front of me. “I started with a trail of runes down one side after transformation and a few more appeared when I killed Gil.”

  Liam traced the new ones. “Interesting. I hadn’t considered the timing. I’d assumed you were still changing. The men would love having a testimony to their victories in battle. Justin probably only has a few like this.” He touched a finger to the marks on his ribs. “My brothers share this one.”

  I pictured Justin’s bare chest and torso. “He spends a lot of time shirtless every summer, but I don’t think he owns a pair of shorts. It’s blue jeans every day for him. His runes must be on his legs. I rarely see those and they’re covered in hair anyway.”

  Tom leaned back onto his elbows. “This is fun. What else is on your mind?”

  I laughed. “Well, I need to talk to Allison. She’s surrounded by Vikings and has no idea. It feels deceitful. I wanted to hide the truth to protect her, but I think we should tell her everything. She’ll find out eventually or she’ll be hurt o
r abducted because of us. Keeping her ignorant of the truth could end up getting her killed. Again. I don’t think I could survive that. Better to confess, I think.” I hoped. If she’d be mad today, she’d be livid next week and homicidal by spring. “Sooner is better.”

  Liam pulled himself out of the water and dried his face with a fluffy white towel. “Telling Allison is the right thing. Oliver will be thrilled. He wants her to know the truth. We agreed it was your call.”

  Relief and panic battled in my chest.

  Liam offered me a towel. “What are you doing about school?”

  “Okay. I have a plan for this, too.” Overthinking was sometimes a gift. I had multiple possible scenarios for everything. “No one ever comes to Roll With It anymore. I’ll study while I’m there, plus while I’m waiting my turn at swim meets. I’ll read up on mythology at home before bed. I can’t drop swim after all these years. I’d let the team down and raise suspicions.” Of what, I couldn’t say. Pregnancy or drugs maybe. Never in a million years would anyone suspect the truth.

  He nodded. “Mason’s working on a Roll With It scholarship. He’s going to make a public announcement and an annual donation in Buddy’s memory. If your dad and the academic scholarships you’ve applied for fall through, you’ll have that to pay for the college you choose. No one will question you earning a scholarship like that. You’ve worked there for two years and Buddy was your friend.”

  Tears stung my eyes. “Thank you.” I didn’t want his money, but I wasn’t sure what else to do if Dad didn’t come through. The offer alone was too much.

  Liam shrugged. “It’s just money.”

  Tom pointed at him. “That’s what I told her.”

  It was only money to people who had some. For people like Mom and me, money was the difference between being cold or being hungry, seeing a doctor or being evicted. Mom struggled every month because she wouldn’t take Dad’s money. She’d wiped out her piddly savings renting our new house and buying the Bronco. “I accept.” Pride had to take a backseat. “I’ll pay you back.”