by Kim Loraine
“Sorry. I should have warned you.”
Shaking his head, he stood and let himself risk one glance at her gorgeous brown eyes. “It’s okay. I’ve got some stuff to do. Keep the truck as long as you need it. Just drop it by the house when you’re done.”
Her brows pulled in as she frowned. “We’re almost done with the groceries. I thought you were going to have breakfast with us.”
He wanted to, and he didn’t. Truthfully, he couldn’t stand being in the same room as Lauren and not have his lips on hers. And he didn’t deserve her.
“Nah, I’m not hungry.” He started away from her, but she called his name and he couldn’t deny her a response. “Yeah?”
“Did I do something to upset you?”
He couldn’t answer. Instead, he chose to shrug and turn away, emotions battling inside his chest.
“Alex?” she called as he forced himself to continue down the sidewalk. “Alex?”
The stubborn woman kept after him, the sound of her footfalls speeding up as she followed him.
“Would you stop?” Her hand wrapped around his elbow and she tugged.
“Lauren, I need to go.”
“Why are you acting this way?”
Panic rose in his chest as she stared up at him. His gaze dropped to her lips, and damn it, she bit down on that plump bottom lip again. “Because, if you don’t let me go, let me clear my fucking head, I’m going to take your gorgeous face in my hands and kiss you until we both can’t breathe.”
Her mouth dropped open, eyes wide, and he caught the sound of her breath hitch.
“So please, let me go. I can’t . . . I’m not ready for what I’m feeling. But being around you is so tempting, and I’m not strong enough to tell you no again.” He hated the desperation in his voice. All she had to do was step forward and press her body against his. If she did that, he’d be a goner.
Taking a shuddering breath, she stepped back, dropping her gaze. Disappointment and relief swirled inside him.
“I’ll see you around, Lauren.” He fought to get the words out.
“Yeah. Take care, Alex.”
Turning, she hurried back toward the store and his chest tightened as he watched her swipe at her face. Had he made her cry? Fuck. That was the last thing he wanted to do. But he wasn’t ready for the feelings she stirred in him and he knew it. She deserved better and he wasn’t the man who could give her that.
Chapter 10
“So, are you ever going to show me your place?” Chassity asked, as Lauren leaned back in her chair at The Golden Beach Bar and Grill.
“Probably not. I might never go back. Maybe I’ll just take over renting the cottage you’re in.”
Her sister cast her a dubious glance. “I’ve been here almost a week and all you’ve done is sit around with your laptop open clack-clack-clacking on your keyboard. I don’t know why I even came to see you.”
“You came because Mother told you to.”
“I came because I miss you and want you to come home.”
Exasperation threatened to take control of Lauren’s body in that moment. She’d made herself clear time and time again. She wasn’t going back to Michigan. Period. She didn’t want to be a lawyer, marry some rich man her mother deemed appropriate, or do any of the other things her family thought she should. “Chas, I’m happy here. You and Mother might not see it that way, but I’m okay being alone. I like my life.”
Pouting, Chassity motioned for the bartender to bring another round. “Did you ever think that maybe I’m not okay being alone?”
Nudging her with a shoulder, Lauren pushed past the well of unexpected emotion. “You could always move here.”
She wrinkled her nose. “There’s not even a Nordstrom Rack here.”
Lauren let out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Oh, the horror.”
As the night wore on, they drank, laughed, and spent hours reminiscing. A light tap on her shoulder had her turning in her chair and she smiled broadly when the handsome face of Garrett Donalson greeted her. His dark, curly hair fell into his eyes as he leaned down to give her a hug.
“Hey, Lo. I didn’t know you were coming out tonight.”
“Wait, are you playing?”
He nodded and pulled up a chair. “Just waiting on Angie and Parker. She’s dropping Lennon off with her parents, but Parker should be here any minute.”
Chassity made a choked noise, calling attention to herself. It took all of Lauren’s self-control not to die laughing when she saw the shocked expression on her sister’s face.
“Y—You’re Garrett Donalson.”
Garrett grinned and nodded. “I am.”
“From Panic Station.”
His smile grew wider. “That’s me.”
“You’re here.”
He glanced at Lauren with a silent plea for help.
“Chassity, this is Garrett. Garrett, this is my little sister, Chassity,” Lauren offered.
Garrett held out a hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Mouth still agape, her sister took his offered hand and shook it, stars in her eyes.
The door opened and Parker Sheffield walked in, flanked by a handsome man Lauren hadn’t met yet, and Angie. “Gotta go, ladies. Enjoy the show,” Garrett murmured, wrapping one arm around Lauren and giving her a friendly squeeze before jogging across the bar and swooping his wife into his arms.
A sigh came from across the table. “He’s just about the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“He’s a good guy.”
Chassity turned her sharp gaze on Lauren. “A good guy? Do you listen to those songs he writes? If I found a man who loved me the way he loves her, I’d never let him go.” Taking a gulp of her drink, she pointed a finger at Lauren. “How in the world do you know him? And well enough that he fucking hugs you. Does he smell amazing? God, I bet he’s delicious.”
“Okay, slow down.” Lauren took the half-empty martini glass from her sister. “I think you’ve had about enough for the evening. You’re rambling.”
“I’m serious. How do you know him?”
“They live here,” she said, on a shrug.
“What?”
“This is their hometown. I’m good friends with Angie. She comes into the cafe all the time.”
“You’re kidding me. This Podunk little town has sexy rock stars and hot-as-fuck firefighters?” Chewing on her lip, she let her eyes drift back to the band as they continued chatting with each other. “I see why you’re staying now. It all makes sense.”
“Not such a terrible life choice now, is it?”
Snatching her drink away from Lauren, Chassity grinned. “Not at all.”
As they continued sipping their cocktails the band took the stage bringing cheers from the crowd. Chassity stared longingly across the bar’s open dance floor.
“I can’t believe I get to see an acoustic Panic Station concert. I mean, they’re not touring anymore. This doesn’t happen.”
Lauren chuckled and sat back in her chair as a group of people crowded the stage. “Go ahead. You know you want to get closer.”
A hopeful look crossed her sister’s face. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
Nodding, she downed her martini and stood. “I’ve got to use the restroom anyway. I’ll meet you up there in a minute.”
Flashing a bright smile, Chassity skipped over to the group of people and started cheering and dancing right along with them.
As Lauren moved through the bar toward the bathroom, she fought the urge to giggle as she thought back to the look on Chassity’s face when Garrett had hugged her. Everything felt light and easy at the moment, a welcome relief from the ache in her heart when she let Alex break into her head. Turning the corner, she ran straight into a broad
, warm chest.
“Oh, excuse me. I’m sorry,” she muttered, lifting her chin to meet the eyes of the man she’d crashed into.
He was handsome, with olive skin and sun-bleached hair that curled slightly around his ears. A low laugh escaped him, his bright blue eyes shining with amusement, as he placed a hand around the small of her back to keep her upright. The alcohol must’ve hit her a little harder than she’d thought.
“Don’t be sorry, beautiful.” The heat in his gaze made her cheeks burn.
“Um, thanks. I was just . . .” She trailed off, motioning toward the bathroom.
Releasing her, he stepped back to let her pass. “Of course. I’ll see you later.” He winked as she walked past and she couldn’t help but feel a thrill run through her. It felt good to be flirted with.
Joining her sister when she returned from the bathroom, Lauren let herself loosen up, bouncing in time with the music while Chassity cheered and pushed closer. A beer appeared in front of Lauren’s face along with the warmth of a large palm against her lower back.
“Hi, again, beautiful. You look thirsty.” The handsome man smiled with the confidence of someone who was rarely rejected.
Taking the drink, she caught sight of the GBFD logo on his dark blue shirt. “You’re a firefighter?”
A slight smirk turned up one corner of his mouth. “Sure am. Carson Sullivan. You can call me Sully.”
As good looking as Sully was, she knew this couldn’t go anywhere. There was no way she’d do that to Alex, not after he admitted how he felt.
Stepping back, she smiled and tried to use her body language to show him she wasn’t interested. “I’m Lauren. I think you know my landlord, Alex.”
That grin only brightened. “Yeah, we’re on the same crew. Alex is a good guy. He treating you right? He can be kind of moody.”
She fought off a laugh. “Moody doesn’t even cover it. But, yes, he’s a good person to know.”
Tapping his glass to hers, he raised his eyebrows and took a long drink. She did the same, letting herself relax. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. And clearly, Alex hadn’t mentioned her to Sully.
“Are you seeing anyone?” His question made her choke on her beer.
“Wow, you get right down to it, huh?”
Shrugging, he leaned in close and whispered, “Life is short. I don’t like to waste time. When I see something I like, I go for it.”
Leaning away slightly, she placed a palm on his chest. “I’m . . . not with anyone, but there’s someone in my life. It’s . . . complicated.”
Nodding, he chewed on his bottom lip as he assessed her. “Damn shame.”
As she was about to respond, Chassity came barreling through the crowd, laughing and eyes sparkling. “This is fucking awesome, Lo. I’m so glad you brought me here.”
Sully’s eyes went wide as her sister stopped in her tracks and stared him up and down.
“Sully, this is my sister, Chassity.” Turning to her sister, she winked. “Sully’s a firefighter. He works with Alex.”
Chassity licked her lips, a feral look crossing her face. “Do you really toss women over your shoulder and carry them down stairs to safety?”
Laughing, Lauren excused herself and, placing her beer on an empty table, headed outside for some fresh air.
The cool night air hit her as soon as she stepped out the back door. Although she couldn’t see it, the sounds of the ocean surrounded her. Leaning against the building, she took a few deep breaths, trying to keep thoughts of Alex out of her head.
~ ~ ~
“Mike, do we really have to go to the bar?” Alex shook his head as he and Michael walked toward the entrance to the Golden Beach Bar and Grill.
His brother sighed, clearly annoyed. “Come on, Alex. You need to get out. Besides, Donovan needs something to distract him from all of the crap he’s got going on with Val. He won’t talk about it, but I think his marriage is falling apart. He’s been sleeping at the station for weeks. He needs this. You know he would do the same for you.”
“Fine. But I’m only staying for one drink.”
Shrugging, Michael opened the door and headed inside. The sound of music filled the space, drawing Alex’s eyes to the stage where Panic Station was set up. Heads bobbed up and down as the crowd danced to the acoustic performance. He caught sight of Donovan, sitting at the bar, shoulders hunched as he stared down at his beer.
Shit. Poor bastard. He’d been there a time or two himself—dealing with shit from Roxie.
Sliding into the seat next to his friend, Alex motioned for the bartender to bring a drink for him and his brother.
“Hey, Donovan. You doing okay, buddy?” Alex asked.
Taking a harsh breath, Donovan sat up and nodded. “Yep, fucking fantastic.” The sarcasm in his voice was hard to miss.
“You want to talk?”
“Nope.”
Nodding, Alex left it alone. The man would ask for help if he needed it. For now, he and Michael were there, and that would have to be enough.
“Where’s Sully?” Michael asked, looking around the bar.
“Taking a piss.” As soon as Donovan uttered the words, Sully appeared, a shit-eating grin on his face.
Plopping down on the empty barstool, he leaned in and said, “I found my entertainment for the evening. She’s fucking gorgeous.”
“You know it’s illegal to pay for sex, Sully,” Michael offered.
The taller man punched Michael in the shoulder and stared across the room. “Look, there she is. Tell me you wouldn’t sell your soul for a piece of that sweetness?”
Alex followed Sully’s gaze. His heart lurched as Lauren’s familiar cascade of dark waves caught his eye. Her luscious curves were on full display as she swayed in her spot, moving to the music.
Fuck. He hoped Sully wasn’t been talking about her.
“I’m out, fellas. If this goes well, I won’t be coming up for air until tomorrow morning.” Sully ordered two beers and headed toward the crowd, swagger firmly in place.
As Alex watched, he prayed his friend wouldn’t stop in front of Lauren, but the closer Sully got, the more certain Alex was that she’d been his target. Anger blossomed in his chest as he watched her. The color rose in her cheeks, her smile, that sweet smile he wanted only for himself, spread across her lips while Sully flirted.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He was kidding himself if he thought he could ignore his need for her. This was the proof. Clenching his teeth, he almost growled when Sully leaned in and Lauren laid a hand on his chest.
“I’ve got to get out of here. Donovan, take care. I’ll see you on shift.”
He didn’t give Michael a chance to stop him. Shoving back his stool, Alex stalked out of the bar without risking a glance at the woman he wanted so badly. The sounds of the band faded as the door closed behind him, leaving him in the relative silence of the quiet street. Raking a hand through his hair, he let his jealousy run its course as flashes of Lauren in Sully’s arms played over and over in his head.
He knew what her full lips felt like, soft and sweet. She tasted like strawberries and vanilla. He didn’t want Sully to know that. In fact, he wanted to be the only man who knew any intimate details about Lauren.
Walking across the parking lot, he headed toward his truck, the gravel crunching under his boots. A soft sigh caught his ear, making him turn reflexively. Lauren stood bathed in moonlight, beautiful, and best of all, alone.
“Alex? I didn’t know you were here.”
He couldn’t fight his frown. Would she have been so friendly with Sully if she’d known he was watching? “You looked a little busy in there. Line yourself up a date?”
“What? No. I’m here with Chassity. She’s leaving tomorrow night.”
Closing t
he distance between them, he let his gaze fall to her lips. “That’s not how it looked. You seemed pretty friendly with Sully.”
She smiled, making his heart clench. “He’s a sweet guy. I hope he and Chassity have fun tonight.”
“It looked like you were the one he wanted to have fun with.”
Shaking her head, she stared into his eyes. “I’m not interested.”
He rested his hands on the wall, caging her between his arms. “In him, or in anyone?”
Her breath hitched as she licked her lips. “In him.”
Unable to deny himself any longer, he leaned down and touched his mouth to hers. He just needed a taste, something to tide him over until he could control the tumble of emotions swirling in his heart. Her lips parted, giving him access, inviting him deeper, and he couldn’t help but take what she offered. His tongue delved inside, setting fire to the arousal already lit in his body. With a soft groan, she pressed her hips forward and slid both hands around his back, pulling him against her curves.
Breaking the kiss, he worked to steady his breathing. “It’s been too quiet at home and all I can fucking think about is you.”
“I thought you weren’t ready.”
His chest hurt at her statement. He wasn’t ready, he knew that, but at the same time, he didn’t know if he’d ever truly be ready for this.
Resting his forehead on hers, he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “Lauren, I’m broken. I always will be. I need you to know that. My heart is like a piece of glass. It was shattered, and over the last year, I’ve been piecing it back together. The thing about something that’s been repaired is the bond is never quite as strong. It’s easier to break all over again. I can’t let you have my heart if I think you’ll be careless with it. I don’t think I could take it.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “Alex, I promise—”
“Don’t promise. Just remember what I said.” He cradled her face in his hands, loving the softness of her skin, the warmth of her cheeks. “I can’t stay away and I’m done trying.”