by Kim Loraine
Anger bloomed in her chest. “No, Mother. I won’t be joining you.”
“Are you at least considering practicing law out there in that nowhere town?”
“It’s not part of my plan. I’m writing, working, and building my own life.”
An ugly noise escaped her mother in the form of a scoff. “Writing? Why on earth would you pick that up again? You were terrible in high school. We all agreed you should put your mind to better use.”
Tears sprung to her eyes at her mother’s disdain. “I have to go, Mother.”
“Oh, you were always so sensitive. Lauren, just think about making more solid choices. As you said, you’re thirty years old and instead of moving forward, I’m afraid you’ve taken a giant leap backward.”
Hanging up, she inhaled a shaky breath and swiped the moisture from her eyes. She stared at her laptop with a cold, hard lump of doubt. Maybe her mother was right. The last time she’d tried to write anything she’d ended up with a scene of less than five pages and a case of crippling self-deprecation. She had no original ideas, no exciting premise, nothing but a desire to write.
Catching sight of the letter she’d left on her bed, she frowned. Why was it so hard for her to come up with a fictional story when she had inspiration right in front of her? Awareness hit her as she stared down at the envelope. She had inspiration in her hands. There was an entire book in the events of the letters she’d read, and there were still four she’d yet to open.
Grabbing her computer, she turned on some music and smiled as the words flowed from her fingers to the keys. She worked for hours, methodically creating an outline, character profiles, and before she finished for the night, the entire book was plotted. Glancing at the shoebox, she made a decision. No more letters until the book was written.
“Thank you, God,” she sighed as she closed her laptop and plopped down on her bed.
A weight lifted from her chest, replaced with a kind of giddiness. Her family might not have faith in her, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was a story inside her and she was going to write it.
~ ~ ~
Alex squinted as the rising sun finally came into view, breaching the dark ocean water. He shivered as the wind bit at his cheeks, but remained seated, bare feet sliding rhythmically through the cold sand. Temples aching from the near constant scowl on his face, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the salty sea air. He needed to let go. Michael had been right when he’d suggested to do it slowly, but Alex hadn’t realized how tightly he held on to his guilt.
Face stiff and nearly frozen, he rose as soon as the sky had lightened from deep indigo to a soft dove-gray. He’d spent hours sitting in that one spot with nothing but the crash of the waves hitting the shore as his soundtrack. Now, die-hard runners were beginning their paths down the beach, covered head to foot in weather-proof active wear. His heart gave a lurch as a woman ran by, her long red hair swishing behind her. He could almost feel Roxie’s soft russet strands under his fingers. Curling his hands into fists, he gritted his teeth and pushed away the wave of pain before it had a chance to pull him under.
Grabbing his shoes, he made his way back to his beat up old truck. He’d have to face the world eventually.
Lauren’s familiar form greeted him as he pulled into the driveway. He had to force the smile from his face as he watched her button her coat before throwing her leg over her bicycle.
“It’s a little early for the cafe, isn’t it?” he called, as he stepped out of the truck.
Tossing her hair over one shoulder, she sniffed. “Not that it’s your business, but I’m meeting someone.”
Jealousy gripped him, making his chest ache as a pit of anxiety settled in his stomach. “Wow, you must really like this guy if you’re meeting him at the ass-crack of dawn.” He bit the words out, trying and failing for nonchalance.
A snort of laughter escaped her. “Yeah. Something like that.”
Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he scuffed the toe of his tennis shoe on the driveway. “Look, Lauren. About last week . . .”
Crimson rushed to the surface of her skin, making her cheeks glow with obvious embarrassment. “No big deal. Let’s just forget about it.”
“I . . . I just wanted to apologize.”
A frown pulled her brows together. “Apologize? Are you kidding me?”
“I shouldn’t have left like I did.”
“It didn’t feel awesome.” The honesty in her voice cut him.
“I know you need to go, but can we talk soon? I feel like I need to explain myself.”
What was he doing? He didn’t need to tell her anything about his life, but here he was, making plans to spill his heart out at her feet. As he stared into her wide brown eyes, he wanted her to know everything and nothing at the same time. After she knew, she wouldn’t want anything to do with him.
With a curt nod, she offered a weak smile and said, “Yeah. I’m out of town for the next few days, but maybe we can get breakfast when I come back?”
Unable to quell the excitement in his chest, he smiled widely. “I’m off Thursday and Friday. You know where to find me.”
As she headed away from him, dark hair blowing behind her, he called, “You should be wearing a helmet!”
She turned that lovely face back to him and grinned. “Stop talking to me, you’re making me late.”
His smile disappeared at the reminder of her plans. She had a date. The idea of her with another man caused an uncomfortable pain to settle between his ribs. Pressing the heel of his hand to his chest, he took a deep breath and started toward the house.
As he walked through the living room, he switched on the television and settled on the couch, mindlessly watching the morning news. A segment for the new season of Hollywood Dance-Off started and he immediately reached for the remote to change the channel, not wanting a reminder of nights spent watching that show with Roxie.
He stilled when he caught sight of his wedding band as he pressed the power button. Setting the controller on the table, he stared down at his fingers, worrying the ring with his right hand. Such a small symbol of his former life and yet it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.
Anger overtook his grief when he thought of the vows they’d made, to always be there for each other, to love and cherish one another, to stay together no matter what. Well, she’d taken those vows and flushed them down the fucking drain when she chose to abandon him and then end her life rather than work through their crushing loss.
Wrenching the ring from his finger, he let out a sound between a groan and a sob as he threw it into the fireplace, letting it sink into the ashes from last night’s fire. He didn’t owe her anything. Not anymore.
Even still, as sure as he was that he couldn’t have changed her mind, in the deep recesses of his heart, he knew the truth. She wouldn’t have had to make that choice if he’d just waited a few minutes to call her. If they’d made one different decision that day, they’d still be in Richmond.
They’d have their baby.
They’d be a family.
They’d be happy.
Chapter 9
Lauren parked her bike outside of the waterfront cottage on the outskirts of Golden Beach. Anxiety gripped her chest, sending a coil of nausea through her as she stared at the front door.
“Lo!” Her little sister, Chassity, burst through the door with a wide smile on her face. “I’m here, can you believe it? Mother couldn’t find a suitable hotel so she insisted on renting this adorable house. It’s a little small, but I’m only here a week. I think I’ll manage.”
Surveying the house, Lauren shook her head. From the outside, it looked to be at least three bedrooms. “Most families I know would love a house like this.”
Wrinkling her nose, Chassity turned and floun
ced back inside. Everywhere her sister went, she flounced as though life was a dance. “Come on. I’ll show you the place. You’re staying with me this week, right? Where’s your car? I’ll help you with your bags.”
Shaking her head, Lauren turned to showcase her backpack. “Don’t have a car. I’m biking it these days.”
“Are you serious? Oh, please don’t tell me you stopped shaving your pits and legs, too.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at her little sister’s indignation. “No. I haven’t gone that far down the rabbit hole. It’s a small town, I don’t need a car.”
“I had to take a taxi from the airport. A taxi. They don’t even have town cars or Uber.”
“Oh no, not a taxi.” Looking her sister up and down, Lauren dropped her backpack on the hardwood floor in the entryway and grinned. “I think you’ll survive.”
“That’s what you think. Anyway, I’m actually glad to be here. Mother has been driving me insane. Now that you’re gone, she has no one else to drop all of her crazy on. It’s all me, all the time.”
“I’d say I’m sorry, but that would be a lie.”
“You suck.”
“Ah, there’s the little sister I know and love. You were sounding like a mini-mom for a minute there. I was worried she’d finally brainwashed you.”
Grabbing her hand, Chassity pulled Lauren through the house and to the wide bank of floor-to-ceiling windows at the back of the cottage. “This is the best part.” Sliding the windows open, she stood in the cold wind and spread her arms wide. “It’s amazing! The ocean is right there.”
Shivering, Lauren pulled her coat closer and stepped back into the house. “Close the door. It’s cold.”
“Did you forget you’re from Michigan?”
“I’m from Texas. Living in Michigan doesn’t make me from there.”
“Whatever. You spent twenty years in Rochester. That’s over half your life, so don’t hold on too tightly to your Texan roots.”
“If Mother had it her way, we’d forget our heritage completely. She’d rather us pretend Abuela didn’t exist.”
A soft look crossed her sister’s face. “Lo, that’s not true. You don’t know how hard it was for Mom when Abuela died.”
Anger took hold in Lauren’s heart. She’d been there, held her grandmother’s hand as she took her final breaths, soothed her as she’d begged for her daughter to come see her. “She wouldn’t even go to the funeral.”
“Maybe she couldn’t handle it. All I know is that their life was hard. Mom never wants to go back there. Can you blame her?”
Shoulders tight, Lauren avoided her sister’s dark gaze by wandering to the kitchen. As she scrounged the cupboards for coffee and came up empty, she sighed and turned her focus on Chassity. “We need to get some coffee.” Opening the refrigerator, she assessed the empty racks and added, “And groceries.”
Thankfully, Chassity let the conversation move away from their mother. “Okay. How are we going to do that? I don’t have a car because I thought for sure you’d have one.”
She didn’t want to take a cab, although she knew Chassity had no qualms paying the ridiculous cost. Frowning, she thought of calling Dean, but the memory of their last conversation still burned bright in her mind. No. Dean needed space. If she called him, he’d get the wrong idea and she didn’t want to do that to him.
“Let me call someone. Hang on.” Chewing on her lip, she pulled out her phone and scrolled to the contact labeled, Landlord.
It rang twice before he picked up.
“Hello?” Alex’s voice was smooth and warm, and darn it if it didn’t send a shiver of need through her.
Clearing her throat, she forced herself to push her lust away and get to the matter at hand. “Alex?”
“Yeah? Who is this?”
“Uh, it’s Lauren.”
“Oh, hey. Sorry. I . . . you’ve never called me before.”
Embarrassment flooded her at the confusion in his voice. “Do you have duty today?”
“No.”
“Do you think you could give me a ride? I need to run some errands and rent a car.”
“Sure.” He sounded skeptical. “Don’t you ride your bike everywhere?”
“Yeah, but my sister is here for a visit. She needs the car, and we need to get her some groceries.”
“Sister, huh? That who you were meeting this morning?”
“It is.” Her cheeks burned. She’d purposefully messed with him earlier, just to see how he’d react. Now she was caught.
“Good.”
That one word made a jolt of awareness hit her. After telling him the address, she hung up and turned to her sister.
“Alex?” Chassity’s eyes sparkled in amusement. “Who is he?”
Fighting the grin that threatened to spread across her lips, Lauren sighed. “He’s my landlord.”
A smirk turned up one corner of her little sister’s full lips. “Nice guy?”
Shrugging, she muttered. “He’s okay.”
“You asked if he had duty. Military?”
“No. He’s a firefighter.”
Her sister’s eyes widened and a predatory look filled them. “Single?”
“Chassity, keep your pants on. He’s off limits.”
“Oh, I see. It all makes so much sense now. You always were a sucker for a man in uniform.”
“Oh, jeez, shut it.”
“No way. First it was the Marine, what was his name?”
“Sam.”
“Right, good old Sammy. Then the cop, Dean. Now, a firefighter.”
“Nothing is going on between us.”
“Sure. You call him to come rescue us, you won’t let me even think about getting with him. You like him.”
Rolling her eyes and pushing away the rising panic at the thought of her sister doing anything with Alex, she shook her head. “He’s a good guy. We’re friends.”
“Whatever. You keep telling yourself that, but I’ll call bullshit if he’s hot as fuck when he comes through that door.”
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Lauren’s heart started hammering in her chest.
Chassity raced to the door and Lauren braced herself. As Alex’s large frame appeared in the doorway, her sister turned her head and mouthed over her shoulder.
Bullshit.
~ ~ ~
Alex stared at the two nearly identical women as they argued over what items to put in their grocery cart. Their long, chocolate-brown ponytails swished as they walked and talked, hips swaying, hands flailing more and more erratically as their argument escalated.
How the fuck had he ended up here?
Who was he kidding? He knew exactly how this had happened. The second he’d heard Lauren’s voice he’d been at her mercy. The revelation that she was with her sister had sent such relief flooding through him.
Chassity turned and cast a coy glance over her shoulder in his direction before murmuring something into Lauren’s ear. He watched as Lauren’s shoulders stiffened and her sister fell back into step with him. She slid her arm in the crook of his elbow and slowed their pace, letting Lauren move away.
“So, handsome, single, and not banging the gorgeous woman who lives at your house. What’s wrong with you?”
“She doesn’t live at my house. She lives under me.” He knew the words came out wrong the moment he uttered them.
Cocking an eyebrow, the mini-Lauren let out a laugh. “She should be under you. I can tell you like her, and if she’d just loosen up a little you two could have some fun before she comes back home.”
His chest squeezed. Home? “We’re friends.”
“Sure, that’s why you dropped everything to come drive us around all morning.” She winked and stuck her tongue in
her cheek, imitating a blow job.
This woman had all the subtlety of a steamroller. “Like I said. She’s my friend.”
“Okay, but just so we’re clear, you hurt her in any way, I’ll cut off your balls and fry them up for your breakfast.”
He had to fight off an uncomfortable gulp at the visual. “Yes, ma’am.”
A sweet smile replaced the fierce expression on her face before she patted him on the shoulder. “Super.”
Lauren cast a worried glance back at the two of them and after her sister’s lewd gesture put the idea in his head, all he could think about was Lauren wrapping her lips around him. That mouth turned up in a smile so sweet he almost groaned, and then, as if she knew what he was thinking, she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth for just a second.
Fuck. All the blood rushed from his head to his crotch. He could feel the press of his thickening length against his leg and knew he needed to leave before his arousal became obvious.
Pulling his keys from his pocket, he handed them to Chassity and murmured, “I’ve got to go. Have Lauren call me when you guys are done.” Then he rushed out of the store and into the cold, head-clearing morning.
The bracing chill helped him calm his tumultuous emotions. He hadn’t been prepared to deal with someone as direct as Chassity. No one had ever spoken to him like that. He’d always been the married guy. His wedding ring worn like a badge of honor. He reflexively moved to twist at the band, only to find the finger empty. A mixture of aching grief and a feeling of freedom hit him all at once, making his knees weak. Sitting on the nearest bench, he rested his head in his hands and worked to calm his breaths. He couldn’t break down, not here. In all this time he’d been able to hide the crushing guilt he bore, save it until he was safely behind closed doors.
A gentle weight settled on his back, rubbing in large circles. “Hey. Are you okay?” Lauren’s warm voice both calmed and frustrated him.
“Yeah, fine. I . . . your sister’s a lot to handle.”