by Kim Loraine
Tear tracks lined his cheeks. He sniffed and swiped at the moisture before turning red-rimmed eyes on her. “So, you see. I’m the reason my daughter died.”
Shaking her head, she dropped her gaze from his. She didn’t know what to say, instead choosing to hold on to him for dear life.
“But, it gets worse. She needed me. My wife needed me and I couldn’t handle it. I watched her spiral down into a deep depression. I knew the signs. I’d seen it before. But this time, my own grief got in the way of hers. She pushed me away, knew it was my fault our baby died. She left me. And in the end, when she needed me, I didn’t come. I found her hours after she’d called for help, but by then it was too late.”
Lauren’s eyes welled and even though she tried desperately to contain them, tears fell freely. “Alex,” she said in a choked whisper.
“Now tell me, can you honestly look at me and still want me?”
She couldn’t answer. Not because she didn’t want him, but because she couldn’t fathom how someone could lose so much and still be standing. A sob caught in her throat as he offered a sad nod. Panic overtook her when he rose and started toward the door.
“Yes,” she forced through a tight throat.
His gaze snapped to hers. “What?”
“Yes, I still want you. I want all of you, broken or not.”
The desperation on his face splintered her heart. “I promise I’ll do the best I can, Lauren. I don’t know how much I can give you, but I’ll try to be the man you deserve.”
Standing, she crossed the room, desperate to hold him. As she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips before whispering, “I just need you.”
He deepened the kiss and lifted her, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist as he walked them out of the kitchen and to her bed.
~ ~ ~
Alex stared down at Lauren as he carefully leaned her back on her pillows. Her chocolate and caramel hair was splayed out across the rose-colored quilt, eyes hooded, soft lips parted and turned up in a slight smile. He wanted to take his time and treasure her, to kiss every inch of her luscious body before losing himself. His heart beat hard against his chest as she sat up long enough to pull her shirt over her head, revealing the lacy black bra she wore underneath.
“Alex,” she sighed.
“Hush. I just want to look at you.”
Leaning down, he brushed his nose along the line from her navel to the edge of her bra. Her skin was soft, like velvet. His fingers toyed with the waistband of her leggings and he relished the way her hips moved as she squirmed. Finding the delicate skin at the base of her throat, he flicked his tongue across her collarbone. The sound of her breath in his ear had him aching to push inside of her.
“Kiss me, please?” Her voice was rough, strained, and it sent a jolt of need through him.
Unable to deny her request, he claimed her mouth, reveling in her taste. He let out a deep groan, then pressed his hips against hers, needing her to know beyond any doubt exactly what she was doing to him. Breaking the kiss, he sat back on his knees only long enough to pull his T-shirt off his body.
She bit her lower lip. The dark desire in her eyes hit him hard. Drawn by the look, he leaned over her once again, shivering when she pressed her palm to his chest and trailed one finger down his torso. His breath caught when her hand rested on the button of his jeans.
“How long has it been?” The hesitation in her voice made his chest constrict as he realized how careful she was trying to be.
Cupping her face, he dropped a kiss onto her lips. “Too long.”
Before she could say anything else, he opened the fly of his jeans and shoved his pants down his legs. Her gaze drifted to the evidence of his arousal pressing hard against the thin fabric of his boxer briefs. Sliding his fingers in the waist of her leggings, he slipped them over her hips until they were nothing more than a pile of fabric on the floor. He layered kisses up her leg, beginning at her ankle as his hand slid along the smooth skin of her inner thigh. Reaching the edge of her panties, he traced the barrier separating them before moving his finger under the fabric and brushing her sensitive flesh. At her sharp intake of breath, he grinned. He may not have been with more than one woman in his life, but he knew exactly how to please one.
Delving inside her heat, he let out a groan of satisfaction to find her slick and ready. She arched her back, small noises escaping her as he moved his fingers.
“Oh, my goodness,” she moaned.
A wide smile spread across his face. She wouldn’t swear even in the throes of pleasure.
“God, you’re so fucking cute.”
A blush crept up her cheeks as she looked down her body to where he knelt between her legs. His hands shook as he moved away long enough to hook his thumbs in the waistband of her panties. He added them to the pile of clothes on the floor and slowly kissed a path toward her center. Loving the way her thighs tensed every time he brushed her body with his lips, he buried the thread of panic pushing at his mind.
“Alex, stop teasing me.” Her plea lit a fire deep within him as his need took over.
Finding her core with his mouth, he tasted her sweetness, circling the tender rise of nerves with his tongue until she cried out his name. Aching with arousal, he freed his erection from the constraints of his boxers and lined himself up at her entrance.
As he began to press inside, a frantic banging shook the door.
“Lauren! Lauren! Open the fucking door.” Dean’s voice boomed as he continued pounding his fist on the door.
“Don’t answer,” Alex murmured, dropping his forehead between her breasts.
“He won’t leave until I do.”
“Lauren, open this door or I’ll have to break it down!”
Tensing, Alex moved away, reaching down to collect her clothes before sitting on the side of the bed and quickly pulling his jeans over his hips.
“Goddammit,” he muttered under his breath.
As he watched her tie her hair back in a high ponytail, his need for her only grew.
Tossing a glace over her shoulder, she frowned. “I’m so sorry about this.” Then Dean started yelling again, and Alex’s hackles rose. What gave that man the right to come over here acting that way?
“Get out of sight,” she whispered.
For a second, he thought she was talking to Dean, but realized the instructions were directed at him.
“What? Why?”
“I don’t want him to think we were . . . doing anything.”
He couldn’t help it, he let out a chuckle. “We were.”
Blushing fiercely, she shook her head. “I don’t want him to know that. It’s just salt to the wound.”
Shrugging, he padded to the kitchen, the only place he could hide. Taking a seat as she opened the door, he kept his eyes trained on her.
“Dean? What are you doing here? It’s late.”
“I called you. Like twenty fucking times, Lo. You didn’t answer. You always answer. I thought something had happened.”
The panic in his voice made Alex uncomfortable. Obviously this guy couldn’t let go. But looking at Lauren as she leaned against the open door, he could understand Dean’s problem.
“I’m fine. My phone is off for the night. My mother won’t stop calling me at all hours.”
“Oh. Okay, sorry.” He let out a sigh. “So . . . since I drove all the way out here, can I come in for a while? Keep you company?”
Lauren’s shoulders tensed, and Alex couldn’t keep himself from standing, ready to go to her if she needed him.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dean. I was just about to call it a night.”
“Yeah, okay. I guess I’ll see you around, Lo. Call me if you need anything.”
“Lauren,” Dean said, his voice low. “Whose fucking boxers are those?”
Ice filled Alex’s veins as he watched her posture change. She was afraid.
“What?” Her tone echoed the fear in her body.
The door flew open, knocking her back a few steps as Dean barreled inside. Without a second’s hesitation, Alex crossed the room, putting himself between Lauren and Dean. Face red, eyes burning with anger, Dean took in the sight of Alex, clad only in jeans.
“You? Are you kidding me?” Dean laughed, a harsh and bitter sound. “You’re with this guy?”
Standing tall, Lauren stepped out from behind Alex, crossed her arms over her chest, and held her head high. “Yes. I am.”
He gripped her upper arm so hard Alex saw her wince as Dean snarled, “How long have you been fucking him? Is this why you left me to move in here?”
Rage took hold in Alex’s chest, causing him to grab Dean’s forearm and pull it free of Lauren’s body. “Get your hands off her. I told you once what would happen if you ever touched her like that again. Do I need to make good on my threat?”
Dean’s livid stare burned with hatred as he stepped away. “So, you’re finally over your dead wife or are you just using the woman I love as a rebound? Playing your tragic broken man card will only work for so long.”
Pain sliced through him at the mention of Roxie, but he pushed it aside, needing to focus on keeping Lauren safe from this hothead.
“Get out, Dean,” Lauren said. Alex could see her knees shaking as she stood up to the man in front of her.
“Fine, enjoy your rebound fuck. Because believe me, Lauren, that’s all you’ll be to this guy.”
As she shut the door behind Dean, Lauren turned watery eyes on Alex. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
Pulling her into his arms, he rested his chin on the top of her head and breathed in the soothing scent of her hair, working to push aside the depth of his anger toward the other man. He forced his voice to stay even and controlled as he said, “Don’t be. Are you all right? Did he hurt you when he grabbed your arm?”
Shifting to look up at him, she shook her head. “It didn’t hurt.”
Gritting his teeth, he fisted his hands. “He still shouldn’t touch you like that.”
“Thanks for standing up for me.”
Taking her hand, he led them to the bed. “You stood up for yourself pretty damn well. Let’s get some rest. I don’t want to leave you here alone. Can I just hold you tonight?”
She nodded and curled up on her side. Needing to soothe her, to make sure she was okay, he moved around to the other side of the mattress, wrapped her in his arms, and held her close. Slowly, he let sleep claim him. Even as unconsciousness pulled him under, he held on to the need to keep her safe. Nothing would happen to her. He’d make sure of it.
Chapter 13
Lauren woke with a smile on her face at the feeling of Alex’s warm breath on her neck. He moaned in his sleep, pulling her closer and nuzzling his face into her hair. Tempted to stay in the comfort of his arms, she closed her eyes and willed sleep to reclaim her. But a persistent buzzing from her phone on the nightstand infiltrated her consciousness, and before long, had her slipping free of Alex’s hold. Grabbing the phone, anxiety clutched at her chest when she saw Dean’s name flash on the screen. She had to answer. She couldn’t risk him going ballistic on her again. He was hanging on by a thread. Ignoring him wouldn’t make it any easier.
Answering with a whispered, “Hello?” she pulled a sweater over her shoulders and stepped outside into the misty light of the breaking day.
“Lo. I’m so sorry. I needed to make sure you were okay.” Dean’s voice sent a shiver through her.
“I’m not. I’m so far from okay it’s laughable, Dean.”
He remained silent on the other end of the line.
“Why are you calling? It can’t be just to apologize.”
“Is he still there?” The venom in his tone was unmistakable.
“He lives here.”
“You know what I mean.”
Running her hand through the tangles in her hair, she leaned against the door. “It’s not your business.”
“You are my business. That guy is going to hurt you. You’ll see.”
Her heart clenched, but she pushed away the fear he was right, and swallowed past the lump in her throat. “That’s something I’ll have to deal with on my own. You’re not responsible for me.”
“I’ll always care about what happens to you.”
Anger boiled in her blood. Did he care about the bruises he left on her arm last night? The accusation burned on the tip of her tongue, but she held it back. It wouldn’t do any good.
“I’ve got to go, Dean. Thanks for the call. I’m fine.”
Hanging up before he could speak another word, she held her phone tightly as tears of frustration threatened to spill. She just wanted to move on. And there was a beautifully tragic man in her bed who needed help fighting his own demons.
Quietly, she pushed open the door and peered into the small, basement apartment she’d made her home. Alex’s big body was draped across the bed, his face buried in her pillow as he slept soundly. With a sigh, she glanced at the clock and groaned when she realized it truly was an ungodly hour. Dean was such an inconsiderate jerk. Walking silently, she snagged her laptop off her desk and made her way to the kitchen, where she started a pot of coffee. After filling her cup, she settled at the table and started writing.
Her novel had taken shape over the last few weeks, inspiration keeping the words coming and the story flowing. She thought back to the beautiful letters that inspired her book, and smiled. Thinking of Alex, her heart swelled. She could see the care in his eyes, hiding behind his grief. He had the capacity for deep love and loyalty. He was her romantic hero.
Engrossed in the chapter she was writing, she jumped when a hand ran across her shoulder and rested on the nape of her neck.
“Morning.” Alex’s deep voice rumbled in her ear as he brought his lips close to her cheek. Turning her face, she met his mouth with hers, the undiluted passion between them crackling like a live wire.
As he pulled away, she shook off the dazed feeling he left her with. “Thanks for staying.”
His eyes turned hard. “That asshole needs to leave you alone.”
Shrugging, she took a sip of her coffee. “He will. He’ll move on soon enough.”
“He’d better.”
The fierce protectiveness in his posture made her smile. “Want some coffee?” she offered.
He shook his head. “Can’t. I’ve got to meet Mike for a run this morning before my shift.”
She couldn’t help but pout. She wanted him all to herself, especially since they’d been so rudely interrupted last night. “Oh, okay.”
Taking her hands, he pulled her to stand in front of him. “Can I take you out tomorrow night?”
A hot blush crept up her cheeks. “Like a date?”
Grinning, he nodded. “Exactly like a date. I want to take you out, show you how a man is supposed to treat a woman before he’s inside her.”
Her cheeks burned even hotter. “You were almost inside me last night.”
“Don’t I fucking know it. Damn cock-blocking cop.”
Letting out a surprised laugh, she watched the excitement in his eyes.
He pulled her against his body and sighed. “I want to earn the privilege of your body. As much as I wanted to finish what we started last night, I’m glad we didn’t. You deserve more than a wild fuck after a hard conversation.”
Her mouth went dry as arousal coursed through her. “I . . . I guess I’m okay with that.”
Amusement twinkled in his gaze.
“Good. I’ll pick you up tomorrow night. Where do you want to go?”
Clearing her throat as she worked to set aside the need pooling in her belly, she stood on her toes to brush her lips over his. “Anywhere but The Creekside.”
Cocking an eyebrow in question, he stared at her. “Do I need to ask?”
“That place is a never for me. I don’t want to taint us with old memories.”
With a nod, he kissed her hard, hand trailing down to cup her rear. She could feel the heat building between her legs.
Breaking the kiss, he backed away and raked a hand through his hair. “I’d better go before I ruin my plans. I’ll see you soon. Call me at the station if you need anything.”
She nodded.
“Lauren, I mean it. Anything.”
“Okay.”
As he pulled his shirt over his head, covering his gloriously muscled chest, she fought the urge to sigh. He was so beautiful. With one more glance back, he flashed her a grin and headed out the door. Letting herself fall back onto the hard kitchen chair, she brought her fingers to her lips, savoring the feel of his kisses on her skin.
A date, to earn her body. Goodness, she didn’t think it could get hotter than that.
~ ~ ~
Twenty four hours had never taken so incredibly long. Alex always loved his shifts. They kept his mind off Roxie, off the empty house that waited for him. But now, all he wanted was for his relief to show up and take over for him so he could get to Lauren. The minute he caught a glimpse of the slight form of Makayla Gray bouncing through the door, his heart leapt.
“Wow, you look happy to see me. Long night? Is your advanced age getting to you?” She smiled brightly as she teased him. Ever the optimist, the tiny woman changed the mood in the house every time she was on shift.