by Kim Loraine
“Nah, it wasn’t bad. I’ve got plans later.” He tried to keep the excitement out of his voice, but her arched eyebrow proved he’d failed.
“Do you have a date?” Her tone was almost proud.
Stiffening, he pulled his jacket on and shoved his wallet into his pocket.
“Alex Oliver. You’ve got a date! Who is it? Do I know her?”
“Shut it, Gray.”
Laughing, she shouted down the hall, “Pay up, Sullivan! Alex has a date. I fucking told you.”
Shock and embarrassment coursed through him. “You guys were betting on my love life?”
“Fuck, yeah. I told them you were kryptonite to a woman’s panties.”
“What?”
“Well, not mine, of course. But the average, unsuspecting woman, oh man. Watch out. You’re the broken, tortured soul. Have you seen the way the women in this town follow you with their eyes?”
If he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t noticed anyone but Lauren. Before he could answer Makayla, Sully’s broad shoulders and smirking face filled the doorway to the locker room. “Oliver, seriously? You couldn’t have waited a few more weeks to get your dick wet?”
Anger filled his chest. There was no reason for them to talk about Lauren like that. “Don’t be an asshole, Sully.”
Letting out a laugh, his friend clapped him on the back. “Whoa, there. Somebody’s sensitive.”
Shrugging out from under Sully’s hold, he headed toward the door. “I just don’t understand why you’ve always got to treat women like you’re doing them a favor when you sleep with them. You should be fucking thankful, and that’s how they deserve to be treated. Not like they’re disposable.”
Sully started laughing harder than before, looking over at Makayla. “Is he serious?”
She stayed quiet, staring at Alex with a curious expression.
“I mean, Alex, man, there’s so much ass out there just waiting for us,” Sully continued.
Makayla reached up and slapped Sully on the back of the head. “Shut the fuck up, Carson.”
That made Alex chuckle. No one but Makayla called Sully by his first name, and that was only when he was in trouble.
“I’ll see you two later,” he said, throwing them a wave before heading out to his truck.
He couldn’t wait to get his hands on Lauren. The ache in his chest only intensified as he thought about the feel of her lips across his skin, the smell of her hair, the taste of her. Fuck. If the tightening in his pants was any indication, he wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer. Before he knew it, he was in his truck and headed to The Oak Tree Cafe. He didn’t even know if she was working this morning. But when he pulled into the parking lot, he caught sight of her bicycle parked and locked in the bike rack. A smile spread across his lips at the thought of seeing her beautiful face. He wanted to do a lot more than see her, though. It had been nearly impossible to restrain himself the morning after spending an entire night in her bed. Then, working a twenty-four-hour shift, with thoughts of her taking up every spare inch of room in his head, had been pure torture.
Pushing past the door, he couldn’t stop the racing of his heart as he scanned the full lobby for her chocolate waves.
“Hi there, handsome.” Kayleen, greeted him with a predatory look in her eyes. Obviously, she didn’t know he and Lauren had started something. But had they really truly started? That kind of assuming could get him in trouble.
“Hey, Kayleen. How long is the wait?” By the look of the crowd filling the room, he didn’t think he’d get a table any time soon.
Frowning, she scanned the list of people in line for seating. “Not long. I’ve got a table for twelve waiting right now, but that’s just because it’s such a big group. Wait a few minutes and I can get you seated.”
His pulse pounded in his temples as butterflies filled his stomach. “My usual table?”
“Hmm, no. Lauren’s section is all full. I just seated someone at your table.”
Disappointment filled him. “Oh, uh, okay. I’ll wait for a table in her section.”
Eyeing him, her lips twitched as she took him in. “It could be a while, handsome. Not that I mind you prettying up my lobby.”
“It’s fine.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall, watching in hopes that Lauren would appear. He needed to see those gorgeous, full hips sway as she walked, to watch her lips move and imagine tasting them. And he was hard again. Damn it, he was like a fucking teenager. But the memory of her under him, of him bringing her to climax with just his mouth, made his entire body ache. What he wouldn’t give to be inside her right now.
“Alex?” His mother’s voice filled his ears, making him blush as guilt overwhelmed him.
Turning, he saw his mom’s eager face beaming at him, along with his six-and-a-half-year-old nephew.
“Mom. Hi.”
“I didn’t know you liked to come here, honey. We were just stopping for some breakfast before Mitchell’s dentist appointment.”
He couldn’t look her in the eyes. Not a minute earlier he’d been fantasizing about fucking Lauren until he couldn’t see straight.
“Honey? Are you all right? You look flushed.” Her cool palm rested on his cheek.
“Fine, Mama. I’m fine.”
His nephew’s small hand tugged on the corner of Alex’s jacket. “Uncle Alex, you wanna sit with me?”
As he stared down into the boy’s wide brown eyes, he couldn’t help but grin. “Sure, bud.”
He couldn’t mention wanting to be in Lauren’s section without raising his mom’s suspicion, so as she walked over to Kayleen and added their names to the list, he distracted himself by playing with Mitchell. The kid was obsessed with superheroes and carried around at least two of The Avengers everywhere he went. Today he had Ironman and The Hulk.
“Uncle Alex, where’s Aunt Roxie?” the little boy asked with such innocence in his voice.
Her name still sent sharp pain through his chest. Mitchell hadn’t gone to the funeral and Alex wasn’t sure how much his nephew knew about what had happened. “She’s, uh, she’s not here anymore, Mitch, remember?”
“You mean, like my mommy?”
He shook his head. Mitchell’s mother was in jail for multiple DWI’s and child endangerment. “No, not like your mom. She’s gone like your dad. She’s in heaven.”
“Was she saving people like my daddy?”
“No, she wasn’t.”
The boy was silent for a while, playing idly with his action figures. Then, those brown eyes found his and he asked, “So why did she die?”
How could he answer this? He couldn’t tell Mitchell that she’d killed herself. A six-year-old didn’t need to know that. But he wasn’t able to sugarcoat something that made him so incredibly angry either.
Taking a breath, he started to speak, but Lauren appeared in front of them.
“Hey,” she said with a sweet smile.
His whole body warmed with a feeling he was nowhere near ready to experience.
“Hey, Lauren.” Grinning like an idiot, he put his hand on top of Mitchell’s shaggy brown hair. “This is Mitchell. He’s my nephew.”
She leaned down, leveling her gaze to the little boy’s height. “Hi, Mitchell. You didn’t tell your uncle we’re old friends, huh?”
“Nope.” Mitchell smiled and went straight back to his toys.
“Old friends?” Alex asked.
“Oh, yeah. I’ve known Mitch here since before school started. He’s been my favorite customer since we opened.”
“Favorite? I thought I was your favorite?”
“You’re okay. A much better landlord than customer.”
Cocking an eyebrow, he couldn’t help but look her
up and down. She had on a fitted shirt that had The Oak Tree Cafe embroidered over her left breast, a little apron tied around her waist, and a full skirt that stopped just above the knee. He wanted to slide that skirt over her hips and feel the smooth skin of her legs under his fingers.
“Oh, good, Lauren. Are we in your section?” His mom, finished chatting with Kayleen, looked between the two of them with a curious expression on her face.
“Hi, Mari. Yep, you guys are with me. Come on, Mitch.” She held out her hand and Alex felt another flutter of something much more than a need for sex in his belly.
“I’m glad to see you moving on, honey,” his mom murmured under her breath as the two of them walked a few feet behind Lauren and Mitchell.
“What? No. I’m not . . . we’re—”
She put a hand on his arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Alexander, I’m not blind.” Staring into his eyes, her tone became serious. “This is a good thing. She’s sweet and she’ll be good for you.”
“Mama, I . . . it’s only been a year.”
Her face turned sad. “I know. You can’t put a timeline on grief. Now, come sit down and eat with us. We can talk about this later. I’m just glad to see you smiling again.”
Panic and guilt warred with the pull he felt toward Lauren, sending him spiraling into a cloud of confusion. He had to get out of there before he had a full-blown freak-out.
“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go,” he muttered, turning and pushing past Kayleen as she walked a couple to their table.
The cool morning air did little to stop his heartache. How could he do this? How could he move on?
Chapter 14
Lauren stared down at the screen of her phone, confusion muddling her brain. Four text messages from Alex. She shook her head as she read them for the second time.
I can’t make it tonight. Sorry.
Shit. I’m an asshole. It’s not that I don’t want you.
Scratch that. I do want you. I’ll pick you up later.
Lauren. I can’t.
She felt like she’d been put through the wringer with him, but this situation was impossible. All she knew was that she needed to be there for him. Her abuela’s often repeated words rang in her ears every time she thought of Alex. God puts us in the path of those who need us. One day, you’ll be the one who needs instead of the one who gives, so give your love without fear. The woman was always a wealth of perspective.
As Lauren rode her bike toward home, she mentally prepared herself for the conversation she’d need to have with Alex. He had such a strong, unbreakable facade, but he’d already told her how destroyed he was inside. This was one of those moments he’d need to be put back together. His truck was parked in the driveway, and even from the yard, she could hear the driving bass of heavy rock rattling the windows of the vehicle.
His forehead rested on the steering wheel as he sat, eyes closed tight, and hands clenched into fists. Opening the passenger door, she slid in next to him and turned down the music.
“Leave me alone, Lauren. I’m such a fucking mess.” He wouldn’t look at her as he spoke.
Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his dark blond hair and trailed her nails down the back of his neck. Over and over, she moved her hand through the thick mass, focusing on his breathing and posture. Slowly, he relaxed, his breaths coming slower, more evenly, and when his shoulders finally eased, she let out a sigh.
“Alex. Don’t shut me out. You don’t have to take me on a date. I get it. But even if we can’t be anything else, I want to be your friend.” It hurt to say the words, but she knew he needed to do this on his own, without pressure to be someone he wasn’t.
He leaned back in his seat, tilting his chin up toward the roof. Eyes still closed, he took a harsh breath and ran his hand across his face. “That’s just it. I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t think I can. I’m feeling so much more . . . so much I shouldn’t. I don’t know what to do with everything that’s going on in my head.”
Her stomach flipped at the words he’d uttered. Linking their fingers, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Can we take it one day at a time? I’m not asking for forever. I’m asking for right now.”
He turned and opened his gorgeous eyes. The anguished look on his face sent her heart into overdrive. “I can give you that. I want to give you everything, but I don’t know how.”
“I don’t want everything. I want however much you can offer.”
A fierce determination lit his eyes as he reached out and grabbed the back of her head, pulling her forcefully against him. Before she could react, his tongue was pressing into her mouth and a groan escaped her. The need behind his kiss sent waves of arousal through her.
“Right now, I need to kiss you. I need to feel your skin under my fingers. And, more than anything, I need to take you.” His deep voice rumbled against her lips as he slid his hand up her skirt.
She wanted him to continue his path up her thigh, to let him feel her body’s reaction to his touch. Instead, she placed a hand over his and stopped him. “Alex, are you sure? I don’t want you to regret this.”
“All I know is I’m sure about you when I’ve got you next to me. When I look into your amazing caramel eyes, I see more clearly than I ever have. I forget everything that came before you. When your lips are on mine, I feel like a drowning man who’s just been pulled from the ocean. You’re saving me.”
Oh, goodness. How could she deny him? Even if it was the right thing to do. In the back of her mind she heard Dean’s voice saying this would end badly, that Alex would hurt her, but her body and her heart out-voted the rational part of her.
“Inside?” she asked, gripping the handle of the truck’s door.
A dark look crossed his face, sending a bolt of lust straight to her core. “Yes. In more ways than one.”
~ ~ ~
Anxiety threatened to ruin the moment once again as Alex put the key in his front door. He pushed away the uncertainty, the fear, and most of all, he pushed Roxie away. This wasn’t about her. It was about the unmistakable connection between him and Lauren. Bringing his lips to hers, he gave in to the need to taste her. He cleared his mind of everything but her, holding on to the feeling he had when they were together.
A moan spilled from her lips when he spun them around and pressed her against the closed front door. “Alex.”
His mouth blazed a determined trail down her neck and lingered on the hollow between her collarbone and shoulder. This was his favorite part of her—skin so soft it felt like velvet.
Her hand drifted over his shoulders and down his back, leaving tingles as she went.
“Where’s your bedroom?” she asked.
Leading her down the hallway, he shoved at the rising panic in his chest and focused on her instead.
“Lauren, I need to keep kissing you. I need you to help me stay right here, in this moment with you. Can you do that?” He hated the plea in his voice, but he knew if he let himself, he’d spiral down into the waiting pit of guilt and self-loathing he’d just escaped. He’d deal with the grief, the shame of moving on, tomorrow.
In answer, she threaded her fingers in his hair and pulled his face to hers. His hands gripped her hips, pushing her backward until he was sure they’d found the bed.
“Take off your shirt,” she murmured.
Stepping away, he ached with need as he pulled the fabric from his body. A soft groan fell from his lips when he saw she’d done the same, standing before him clad in only a white cotton bra and her skirt.
“Pants,” she ordered.
Nodding, he fumbled with his belt, his fingers shaking as nerves engulfed him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she unzipped the side of her skirt and let it fall to the floor. His mouth ran dry at the sight of her.
“Did y
ou forget how to unbuckle a belt? I thought firefighters were good at getting dressed and undressed quickly.”
A laugh rumbled through him, making him grateful for her quirky sense of humor. “I can have my bunker gear on in less than a minute. I never claimed to be particularly skilled at undressing myself, especially when a gorgeous woman is getting naked in front of me.”
She blushed to the roots of her hair and moved to cover herself. “I don’t know about gorgeous.”
Grabbing her hands, he gently pulled them away from her curves. “Fucking gorgeous.” After stepping out of his jeans, he knelt before her. Pressing light kisses to the softness of her body, he slowly hooked his thumbs in the waist of her panties and slipped them down her hips. “Take off your bra,” he whispered against her skin as he continued kissing down her body.
“Take off your boxers,” she countered.
A smile crept onto his face as he stood and did as she told him, his straining erection springing free, needing desperately to be touched.
“Tell me what you need, Alex.”
God, what did he need? Everything. Thoughts of the countless nights he’d spent with Roxie in his arms threatened to invade and steal this moment from them. He needed something Roxie had never done. “Your mouth. I want your mouth on me.”
“Where?” Her breathy whisper told him she knew exactly where.
“You know. Don’t play with me.”
With a smile, she dropped to her knees. “Here?” she teased.
“Yes. There.” His voice was husky and raw with desire as his limbs trembled with the strain of anticipation.
As she closed her lips around his length, he let out a groan so loud he’d be worried about a noise complaint if his tenant weren’t the one causing it. “Oh, God.” He couldn’t stop himself from crying out as her movements brought him deeper into her. She slid her tongue around him, gripped his ass as she moved, and when she let out a little moan of her own, he almost lost all control. Thrusting his hands in her hair, he threw his head back and gave in to the pleasure. Heart racing, he felt his release approaching and pulled back, needing to save his orgasm for her body rather than her mouth.