by Kim Loraine
“Stop, please. I don’t want to finish now. God, I want to sink into your body and make you scream first.” His words were uttered through clenched teeth as he tried to keep it together.
She moved away, staring up at him, gloriously nude and smiling. “I’m not going to say no to that. How do you need me, Alex?”
He loved that she was willing to do what he needed, but in the back of his mind, he realized he was being owned by her. Every move she made was for his pleasure, but by her choice.
“I need . . .” he hesitated.
“What?”
“I need you to let me fuck you. I need it to be hard and rough.” He felt like such an asshole, but he couldn’t be slow and sweet, not with the intense feelings taking over his heart. If he made love to her, he’d be over the cliff and lost to her, he knew that. He also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was too soon for love.
“Then fuck me.” Her words were heavy with her need for him, as she stood.
Chest constricting with the mixture of anticipation and fear, he had to clear his throat before the words would come out. “Bend over the bed.”
She did as he asked; her smooth, round ass on full display. He stood, poised at her entrance, but every fiber of his being screamed to take her gently, while worshiping her body, staring into her eyes, damn the fall that would follow.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
A soft giggle escaped her, making him wish he could see the sweetness of her smile.
“Lauren, roll over. I want to see your face.”
Tensing, she stood and crawled up the bed, reclining until she was laid out for him like an offering.
“Is this what you need, Alex?”
Nodding, he followed her path across the bed until he settled over her, his hips between her luscious thighs. His hands roamed her body, cupping her full breasts and teasing the taut nipples. Nerves suddenly gone, he stared deep into her eyes and joined their bodies completely. The intensity of the moment took his breath, rendering him speechless. The only sounds in the room were their combined gasps and moans as he thrust into her, long slow strokes to help her adjust to his size.
It had been so long since he’d been inside a woman, but the feeling of her body around him was so powerful, so right, it was as if he felt the cracks in his soul healing every time she kissed him.
Eyes wide, she cried out. “Oh, God, Alex. I’m . . . I’m so close.”
Picking up his pace, he moved deeper, lifting her hips before placing her ankles on his shoulders. As his thrusts grew harder, her cries came quicker and louder. He needed to make her scream, just like he’d promised, but his own orgasm was barreling down on him, ready to crash over his body.
“Are you ready, Lauren?”
Biting her lip, she whimpered and nodded as he grabbed her hand and brought it between them.
“Tip yourself over the edge. I want to see what your face looks like when you come,” he growled.
Before the sound of his words faded from the room he felt her clenching around him, her thighs shaking, back bowing, and the scream he’d wanted to hear ripped from her throat.
Release imminent, he pumped his hips, hoping to finish as she came down from her rush of pleasure. As he tensed, his orgasm cresting, her eyes widened.
“Alex, you have to pull out. You’re not wearing a condom.” Panic was in her voice even as his eyes rolled back in his head.
“Fuck.”
He pulled free of her body as he began pulsing, the pleasure causing him to fall to one arm as he spilled himself across her body.
Breathing heavily, he sighed and stared down at the evidence of their love making. “I never knew it could be so . . . so intense.”
“I’m sorry I stopped you. I should’ve told you I’m not on anything.” A tinge of pink spread across her cheeks. “We just got so carried away, and, it felt so good.”
Rolling to his side, he stretched tight muscles that hadn’t seen this kind of use in over a year. “I didn’t even think about it. I think the last time I had sex with a condom on I was eighteen.”
Her slender fingers played with his hair, sending shivers from his scalp down to his toes.
“I should clean up,” she said.
Sitting up, he pressed a hand to her shoulder. “Don’t you fucking move. I’ll take care of you.” As he padded to the bathroom to get a washcloth, his heart caught in his throat when he caught sight of his naked ring finger. Not even a pale band of skin left as a reminder of Roxie.
He stared at himself in the mirror, not knowing who looked back. Who was he without Roxie? He didn’t know, but glancing through the open door at the beautiful woman in his bed, he was finally realizing it was okay to find out.
Chapter 15
Lauren woke on the verge of an orgasm. Strong fingers moved inside her body as Alex pulled her close and trailed kisses along her shoulder. They’d spent most of the night making love, and even though her thighs ached, she wanted him again.
“I can’t get enough of you.” His voice sent a thrill through her, flipping her belly and making her heart flutter.
With a decisive circle of his thumb, she exploded around him, crying out his name in a husky rasp. Breathing heavily, she held on to the feeling for as long as possible. She didn’t want to turn over and look into his eyes, fearing she’d see guilt and apprehension behind the swirling bluish-green irises.
“Hey, are you okay over there?” His fingers slid over her bare hip and across her waist as he nuzzled her neck.
“I’m good. That’s a heck of a way to wake up.”
A chuckle rumbled through his chest. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Glancing across the room, she sucked in a harsh breath when a picture of Alex and a beautiful redhead caught her eye. They stood on a beach, the wind blowing her dress across the front of his legs as they held each other and smiled for the camera. They looked happy. In love. Perfect.
“What’s going on in your head, Lauren?”
Tensing, she shrugged. “Nothing. I’ve just never seen your bedroom. It’s cleaner than I expected.”
Turning her in his arms, he looked into her eyes. She smiled at the blush on his cheeks. “I hired a cleaning service. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure you would’ve run screaming the first time you came over.”
“You did? I’ve never seen them.”
Biting his lip, he glanced away. “I made sure they only come when you’re gone. I was embarrassed.”
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. Man, if I could afford it, I’d have a cook, a cleaning person, a gardener—well, maybe not a gardener. I like doing that. The point is, I’d rather spend my life doing what I love, than cleaning.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take it back. She was such a hypocrite. The very lifestyle she wanted was one she’d run from.
“I love that about you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What? The fact that I’m lazy and don’t want to do anything for myself?”
“No. That you want to do what you love. You do what makes you happy. When my wife died, I realized that our time is limited to a number of unknown heartbeats. Right now, I don’t want anything more than I want you. I want your heart to beat in time with mine. Because you are what makes me happy.”
“I am?” Her question came out a breathy whisper as she tried to gather her composure. He’d knocked the wind out of her with one well-placed sentence. You are what makes me happy.
Taking her face in his hands, he smiled, eyes brightening. “Lauren, I’ve been walking around a shell of a man for the last twelve months, maybe more. I think I was cracking even before she died. I never thought I’d find someone who made me come to life again. It’s you. Your spark, your unapologetic love for everything around you, and your damn p
ositivity. I came to that cafe to escape. Instead, I met you and haven’t stopped thinking about you since.”
Smiling, she let herself relax back onto the pillow. “I am pretty awesome.”
He laughed harder than she’d ever heard. The sound was warm, honest, and she thought possibly, healing. “So fucking awesome.”
The ring of a cell phone filled the room, making Alex release his hold on her and slide out of bed. She sat up, watching his gloriously naked butt as he bent over and rummaged through his discarded clothes. Pulling out his phone, he looked back and grinned when he caught her staring. Heat rushed up her cheeks. It shouldn’t bother her, not when they’d been as intimate as two people can get just minutes ago.
“Hi, Mama. What’s up?”
Even more embarrassment flooded her as he sat naked on the bed and talked with his mother. Somehow, she felt like Marianne would know what they’d been doing. Like the woman could sense her son had been a naughty boy. After he hung up, he turned to face her, an amused expression coloring his features.
“You are as red as a strawberry. Did I say something funny?”
“No.” She slid down and hid her face under the covers. “I’m naked. You’re naked.”
“And?”
Popping her head out from under the sheet, she huffed, “And you were talking to your mother.”
“God, you’re cute. She’ll be here any minute. You should get dressed.”
“What?” She sprang from the bed and frantically started gathering her clothes, only to pause when she saw him out of the corner of her eye. He was shaking with laughter.
“I’m sorry. I’m just kidding. The look on your face . . .”
Grabbing a pillow, she threw it at his head as hard as she could. “You’re a jerk.”
He stood, crossed the room, and pulled her close. “I am. But you knew that.”
“We should get dressed.”
A frown turned down his lips. “Why?”
“Because we can’t spend all day naked.”
“Again, why?”
Laughing, she pushed him away. “Some of us have to eat, and function in the real world.”
Cupping her butt, he placed a soft kiss on her lips and ground his hips against hers. “Fine, but you’re missing out on one of life’s most wonderful pleasures.”
“What is that?”
“Naked time.”
“What are you talking about? We’re naked now.”
“Have you ever spent an entire day naked with someone? It’s the greatest thing ever.”
Her heart gave a little squeeze. He’d made it clear that the only person he’d ever been with was his wife. So the only person he could have experienced this with was her. The woman in the photo. Shoulders tightening, she backed away.
“Well, I can’t have naked time right now. I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Can you at least stay for coffee and breakfast?”
Smiling, she nodded. She didn’t want to leave him, but there was this annoying little part of her that was screaming to give him some space.
“I’m just going to hop in the shower. You can join me if you want.” His hopeful grin made her ache to follow him and lose herself in his body.
“I’ll go freshen up while you shower. Want me to start the coffee when I get back?”
Shaking his head, he started toward the bathroom. “No way. You serve people their coffee and food all day. Let me take care of you.”
She sat on the bed, pulling on her clothes. After hearing the shower start, she took a glance at her reflection in the mirror that hung over his dresser. Gosh, she looked like a hot mess. Holding a hand up over her mouth, she checked her breath. Her embarrassment came back in full force. She had a raging case of dragon’s breath, and she was pretty sure she could use a shower, too. But getting under hot water, with a soapy, naked Alex would just lead to more amazing sex. That would be the opposite of giving him space.
As she listened to the water hit the shower floor, she made a mental note to add showering with Alex to her priorities list. But first, she needed a toothbrush, and at the very least, deodorant. Slipping on her shoes, she fished her keys from her purse and headed outside and around to her front door. The small apartment was quiet, but she could hear the water moving through the pipes of the old house. It was so comforting to know that just upstairs, a beautiful man was naked and thinking of her.
After brushing her teeth, changing clothes, and generally freshening up, she grabbed her favorite Doctor Who mug from her cupboard and headed back to Alex’s. Carefully, she slipped back inside, not wanting the sounds of her footfalls, or the door closing to disturb his shower. She couldn’t hear the water any longer, and after placing her cup on the kitchen counter, she made her way to the bedroom. He definitely wasn’t in the shower anymore. He stood with his back to her, a towel wrapped around his trim waist and his shoulders glistening with droplets of water. Standing in the doorway, she took in his form, forcing away the surge of arousal that ran through her.
About to call out to him, she took a breath, but he reached out and picked up the photo of him and his wife. Cradling it, he ran a finger across her face and Lauren’s heart broke as his shoulders slumped.
“Fuck!” he shouted, startling her, as he tossed the frame onto the disheveled bed. His shoulders heaved as he took in harsh breaths and began muttering to himself. “God damn you. You didn’t want me. You left me. Lauren is the beautiful distraction I need and you’re ruining it. Why can’t I stop loving you?”
This was too much. He’d been right when he said he wasn’t ready for something to happen between them, but she hadn’t realized the depth of his pain. He wasn’t just grieving the loss of his wife. He was angry with her for so much.
Backing away, Lauren left, jumped on her bicycle and pedaled toward downtown. A quiet walk on the beach. She needed to figure out what the right thing to do was. Unfortunately, sometimes the right thing was the opposite of what you wanted.
~ ~ ~
Where the hell was Lauren? Alex thought he’d heard her moving around while he was getting dressed——she’d even left an adorably nerdy coffee cup in his kitchen. But now, she was nowhere to be found. Leaving the coffee beans on the counter, he glanced out the kitchen window to see her bike was gone.
She’d left?
Why would she do that?
He checked his phone for a message and found nothing. Dialing her number, he waited as it rang and rang before voicemail finally picked up. A sinking feeling took hold in his chest.
Fuck.
Had he done something to scare her off? He’d gotten pretty intense earlier. Raking a hand through his still damp hair, he sighed.
Yes. He’d scared her off. He was a fucking idiot to tell her all of those things, but he’d never done the dating-thing. He wasn’t a games and lies kind of guy. He wore his heart on his sleeve when it came to his love life, because he’d never known any other way.
Wanting to go after her, he grabbed the keys to his truck and shrugged into a jacket, but as soon as he got out the door, his phone rang. He answered without even checking the screen.
“Lauren?” he breathed her name, hope in his voice.
“Nah, man, it’s Mike. I need your help over here.”
Alarm coursed through him. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Donovan. He’s shitfaced—a fucking mess. Valerie isn’t answering her phone, and the guy is passed out on the beach. I can probably carry him out on my own, but he’s a big guy. It’d be easier if you helped.”
“Sure. I’ll be there in five. Where are you?”
“Under the boardwalk by Cups. Bring him a shirt, will you?”
“Yeah. See you in a few.”
Shaking his head, Alex started the truck and headed tow
ard the beach. Donovan was on a downward spiral, anyone could see that. Unfortunately, he had no clue how to help the guy.
As he walked toward the boardwalk, his heart jumped in his throat when he caught sight of what looked like Lauren’s bike parked right outside of Cups. The place looked busy, and as he glanced in the window he surveyed each person in view, hoping to see her. Disappointment set in when he came up empty after scanning the crowd.
Heading down the stairs, he let out a sigh as his brother came into view. Michael was holding Donovan up on one side as the guy continually tried to sit down on the sand.
“Lemme go. I fucked it all up. I don’t deserve help.” Donovan’s words were slurred, but at least he was conscious.
“Oh, please. Stop playing the self-pity card. We’ve got enough of that going around. Get your drunk ass up and go fix things with your wife.”
Donovan’s eyes blazed. “She doesn’t want me. Don’t you understand?”
Confusion furrowed Alex’s brow. He knew Donovan and his wife had been having problems, but this wasn’t a man struggling. The man in front of him was broken. Memories of the days after Roxie had left him, telling him she hated him, that he’d ruined her life, flooded in, making his knees tremble.
Shaking off the crushing pain, he took up his place at Donovan’s other side, helping his brother see the man to a more private venue.
“What happened?” he asked his brother, as they loaded Donovan into Michael’s Impala.
Shrugging, Michael buckled the larger man in and shut the door. “Not sure. Obviously it’s bad. He’s been pretty close-lipped about the whole thing.”
“Where are you taking him?”
“No fucking clue. He can’t stay with us. Lena’s Valerie’s best friend, and I can guarantee she knows every last detail. She’ll be on her friend’s side.”