by Kim Loraine
His stomach dropped. Her birthday? How could he not know this? “Are you kidding?”
Shaking her head, she turned away, grabbing a potholder before pulling something out of the oven. He hated the tension in her shoulders. “I don’t celebrate it, really. Not since Abuela died.”
“Why?”
“She was the only one who let me feel like it was special.” Placing the casserole dish on a hot pad, she continued as she gathered plates and utensils. “My parents didn’t actually want me. But Mother didn’t find out she was pregnant until it was too late for an abortion. So, here I am.”
Placing himself directly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here. I don’t know what kind of shape I’d be in if you hadn’t forced your friendship down my throat.”
Leaning back into him, she sighed. “I’m sure you’d have found someone. There’s always a line of women waiting to get into your bunker gear.”
He couldn’t stop himself from squeezing her a little tighter. She had no idea how wrong she was. “No way. The only girl I’m ever letting near my pants is you.”
“Promises, promises, Mister Oliver.” Winking, she handed him a plate and gestured to the feast laid out across his kitchen counters. “Dig in.”
As they sat together, eating and laughing, for the first time in a long while, he felt nothing other than happiness flow through him.
“So, what do you want for your birthday?” His voice was tight as he watched her play with the remnants of her food.
Wide, dark eyes found his, a wicked gleam shone from their depths. “I want to teach you how to salsa.”
Laughing, he held up his hands. “I’m not much of a dancer. Michael got that gene. I’m pretty sure it skipped me.”
Her cheeks reddened. “You know how to move your hips. I’ve experienced that first-hand.”
Rising from her seat, she laced their fingers together and pulled him to stand before her. Swinging her hips side to side, she stepped to the right, back to the center, then to the left.
“Mirrors.”
“What?” he asked, mesmerized by the fluid motion of her body.
“We’re mirrors of each other. Follow me. Then we can get to the good stuff.”
As the lesson continued, he fell into step, growing comfortable with the basics of the dance. But the more at ease he felt, the closer her body came, breasts brushing his still bare chest. When he stopped moving, she stared up at him, taking her bottom lip between her teeth with a little moan.
“I’m done dancing, Lauren. I’ve got something else I’d like to give you. It’s going to take all night.”
With a long, slow blink, she inhaled a shaky breath. “I think I’d like that.”
Not needing another word of encouragement, he scooped her over his shoulder and hauled her to his bed, where he wanted her to spend every single one of her nights.
~ ~ ~
Lauren groaned as she pedaled harder up the hill, her breath coming in harsh gasps, visible in the cold. They said it was supposed to get easier the more you did it, but so far, they were a bunch of liars. Walking her bike up after reaching the halfway point, she thought back to the last time she’d seen Alex. Best birthday ever. He’d left her a boneless, blissed-out mess and she’d loved every minute of it. Then he’d headed out to Philadelphia for a week-long leadership conference. That had been three days ago and she hadn’t heard from him since.
“Morning, Chica.” Roland peered at her through his sunglasses as he parked his motorcycle and removed his helmet. “How’s that beautiful man of yours? He still making you walk funny?”
Cheeks heating with embarrassment, she looked away, choosing to admire the beautiful view of the town, framed by the Atlantic Ocean. “He’s out of town.”
“Things getting serious between you? I see the look in your eyes when he’s with you.”
Her heart ached at the thought. She hadn’t told anyone very much about their relationship, not even Chassity. Looking at Roland, she couldn’t contain her happiness. “I’m in love with him. It’s intense and amazing. I think . . . I really think he’s the one.”
Roland’s eyes widened and for a moment she thought it was a reaction to her words, but his focus was on something behind her.
“Are you fucking kidding, Lo?” Dean’s bitter words hit her like a bucket of ice water, causing her to tense and turn to face him. The stony look on his face poorly masked the hurt behind his eyes. “Six months ago I was the one. Not to mention, Alex Oliver has a history he probably failed to share with you. Did you know Roxie filed a restraining order before she died? He was stalking her.”
“What? You’ve been checking up on him?” She couldn’t keep the trembling from her voice as the potential for conflict sent her nerves on edge.
Face softening, he took a step toward her and she moved away instinctively. “Lo, even if we’re not together, I care about you. I want to make sure you’re okay. This guy’s not who you need.”
“That’s not your job. I’ll be fine.”
“It’s my job as long as I think you’re making a mistake.”
Throwing up her hands, she sighed and tried to change the subject. “What are you doing here, Dean? We’re not open for another thirty minutes.”
“Kayleen’s got a to-go order for the station.”
Staring daggers at him, she didn’t try to contain the venom when she spoke. “Then go get it. I’m having a private conversation.”
“I’m just saying, he’s not as perfect as you think. She left him, more than once and then killed herself to get away from him.”
Tears burned in her eyes. Turning away, she stormed through the employee entrance before Dean could see her cry. A large, gentle palm rested on her shoulder as she swiped away the moisture on her cheeks.
“Oh, Chica. He’s coming from a good place, but damn that boy doesn’t know when to quit. Are you all right?”
Desperation clawed at her throat. She wanted to run away from everything. Letting the tears fall, she rested her cheek on Roland’s shoulder and gave in to her urge to let it all out.
“I never thought it would be this hard to separate myself from Dean.”
“He loves you.”
“So does Alex.”
A soft hum came from Roland as he rubbed her back. “You’re living the dream, girl. Stuck between two gorgeous men. What I wouldn’t give . . .”
“Ha-ha. Not funny.” She tried to chastise him, but ended up laughing instead.
“I don’t want Dean. But he won’t accept it.”
Shrugging, Roland held her at arm’s length. “He knows. I’m sure he’s holding out hope, but Dean’s a protector. It’s what he’s always done for our community, and for the people he loves.”
With a loud sniff, she offered a watery smile to the older man. “Thanks for letting me fall apart for a second.”
He shook his head. “You can’t keep it together every moment of every day.”
Nodding, she sighed and turned to face the small mirror in the break room. With a quick pat at her cheeks and twist of her long hair, she had a messy bun piled on her head and all traces of tear-tracks were erased.
“Do me a favor? Don’t mention this to anyone?”
He made a motion of locking his mouth with an invisible key before winking and heading into the kitchen.
Closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths, she worked to calm herself before facing customers. The nagging words Dean said rang in her head even as she tried to rid them from her mind. He may think she was making a mistake, but she knew down to her core that Alex was the right one.
He was the only one.
Chapter 19
Alex sighed and frowned at th
e television as he watched a commercial for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. With the holiday around the corner, he felt that unwelcome ache of grief for Roxie take up residence in his chest again. With Lauren’s help, he’d all but put Roxie from his mind. He’d boxed up memories of her and stored them in the protected corner of his heart he never planned to use. But as memories tended to do, they broke free of his carefully constructed walls.
“Hey, you okay over there?” Lauren looked up at him from the book she was reading. They’d settled together on the couch, her feet in his lap as he caught up on football highlights from Sunday’s games.
“Yeah, why?”
“Your face is doing that dark, broody, Mister Darcy thing again.”
A laugh escaped him before he could stop himself. “Does that mean frowning?”
Nodding, she beamed at him. “I’m so proud of you. You got my Pride and Prejudice reference.”
His chest burned. He knew that book all too well. Roxie had been obsessed with all things Jane Austen for the first few years of their marriage. “I’m pretty sure that’s just my face.”
Removing her feet from his lap, she swung her legs around and stood in front of him. With a gleam in her eye, she straddled him, her delicious lips descending to his without ceremony for too brief a moment. As she pulled away, a satisfied grin spread across her face.
“There, it’s gone. See? A frown is not your instinctive expression. It might be a habit, though. I guess I’ll just have to kiss it off your face every chance I get.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he couldn’t stop his gaze from traveling to the gaping neckline of her V-neck sweater. Fuck, those tits were right there, calling to him.
“You could do that.” He tilted his head pretending to think it over. “If it doesn’t work, you could always shove your boobs in my face. That’s a surefire way to make me smile.”
Laughing, she blushed charmingly before her eyes darkened with something more primal than amusement. “That might not go over too well in public.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” His voice was raw with need as she leaned closer, pressing her breasts against his chest. He claimed her mouth in a long kiss, only letting up to aid in the removal of her shirt. As his palms cupped and massaged the soft skin of her full breasts, he felt himself harden against the fabric of his sweatpants. Thrusting his hips forward, he hoped desperately that she’d get the message and add some friction with her own body.
“Alex, we can’t. I’m . . .” Her cheeks flamed as she tried to speak.
“What is it?”
“I’m on my period.”
Disappointment settled in the pit of his stomach. Her hand brushed his brow gently before she swirled her hips and brushed his erection with her core.
“There’s that frown again.” She kissed him deeply, her tongue moving with his as she rocked her body against his in an overwhelmingly erotic dance.
He groaned as she broke the kiss and sat tall, the brush of her nipples against his mouth too tempting to resist. Her hand trailed down his shirt and under the waistband of his pants before he registered what she was doing. She stroked his length in determined movements, making his hips buck under her.
“I want to make you come,” she whispered, her breath tickling his ear.
“Fuck. Keep that up and you will.”
Pleasure built inside his body as her hand slipped up and down, and it was all he could do to hold on, digging his fingers into her hips.
“Let go, Alex. Let me love you.”
He was lost at her pleading tone. Toes curling into the rug, he let his release take control on a guttural groan.
“God, I love you.” His words were a murmured sigh, but he knew she heard. The wide smile on her face assured him of that fact.
With a soft kiss to his lips, she stood and said, “Let me go clean up. Then, we need to talk about plans for the holiday before you distract me again.”
That damn ache threatened to return in his chest as he watched her walk away. He didn’t want to let thoughts of Roxie worm their way into his Lauren-centric life. Standing, he headed to his bedroom where he shucked his clothes and wandered into the adjoining bathroom. A shower sounded perfect, and a shower with Lauren sounded like heaven.
She was moving about the bathroom as he started the water, her gaze following his nude form. Pink colored her cheeks when he caught her staring, but before she could scoot away, he pulled her to him.
“Get in with me?”
“Alex,” she whined, pushing at his chest. “I told you, I can’t.”
Kissing along her collarbone, he lingered at his favorite spot on her neck, smiling against her skin at her shiver. “I’ll behave. We both need to get clean, and I don’t like to waste water.”
Letting out a soft groan, she shook her head and twisted out of his arms. “Give me a couple of days and I’m all yours. If you’re going to shower, I’ll head back to my place. I’ve got some laundry to get done before I go in to work tomorrow.”
A nagging sense of panic took hold as she kissed him and left the room. When she wasn’t here, he had time to think. Thinking always led to remembering.
If he let himself remember Roxie, everything would come flooding back. All the guilt, the grief, the anger, and betrayal, already hammering on the door at the edge of his consciousness, would break through and ruin all of the progress he’d made since Lauren came into his life.
“Alex? Sorry, I got home and can’t find my phone. I think it’s . . .” Lauren bounded into the room, stopping mid-sentence when she saw him, still standing outside of the running shower. “You’re pale. Are you okay?”
Anxiety had his heart pounding as he looked at her worried face. He wasn’t okay. He was freaking out because he’d let Roxie push her way back into his head. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped the cloth around his waist and turned off the flow of water. Taking Lauren’s hand, he led her to the bed, motioning for her to sit beside him.
“Roxie’s birthday is on the twenty-third.” He raked a hand through his hair and stared at the one snagged string marring the towel. For some reason, the imperfection made him irrationally frustrated. “Fucking Thanksgiving. Of course, this year it’s got to fall on her birthday.”
Lauren’s fingers tensed in his hand. “I see.”
“It’s just, you keep asking and I don’t know. I’m not sure what the hell I want to do. Do I mourn her? Do I forget? Pretend like she never existed?”
A soft kiss landed on his bare shoulder. “Alex, you get to do whatever you want. You can spend the day remembering her and all the good years you had. Or, we can tuck that away and go do something that’s just us. Either way, I’ll be around.”
“I don’t think I want her to be part of us. You’re a fresh start. Pure and unmarked by my shit. I want it to stay that way for as long as it can. Let’s go away. We can go to my Grandpa’s cabin. It’s quiet and it has a private dock on the lake. You’ll love it.”
“We can do that if you want. But, Alex, you won’t be able to forget her. If you keep burying the memories, they’re going to eat you up inside. She was part of you for most of your life. Someday, you’ll want to remember her.”
Sighing, he nodded. She was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. “Can we not talk about this anymore?”
“Sure. I guess. You brought it up.”
Her tense posture made him feel guilty. Bumping her shoulder with his, he leaned in and nuzzled her neck. She let out a slight moan until his fingers found her ribs and his gentle caress became relentless tickling.
“Stop!” she squealed, falling back on the bed and rolling away.
“No way, you’re way too adorable when you’re all defenseless and giggling.”
He rolled on top of her, continued tickling her, making her laugh so har
d tears streamed down her cheeks. “Alex,” she said, breathless. “Please . . . stop . . . I can’t . . . I’m going to pee my pants!”
Letting up, he seated himself between her legs. His towel had shifted, barely hanging on, but he didn’t care. Pressing kisses to her jaw and down her throat, he whispered against her skin, “Don’t go back downstairs. Stay here, with me. Bring your laundry, bring all of your things.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you asking me to move in?”
Was he? The thought of her downstairs, only separated from him by a ceiling, made no sense. “Yeah. I am. We spend every night together anyway.”
“It’s only been a few months since we met.”
He could hear the fear in her voice. Shit. He’d fucked it all up. “I guess, um, yeah, you’re right. Too soon.”
“I just . . . I need time to think. I’m not saying no, okay? Give me a few days.”
Gut clenching, he sucked in a breath and worked to hide his hurt pride. “Fine.” Pushing off the bed, he adjusted his towel and strode across the room, focusing on the task of getting dressed.
Soft hands slid over his chest as she embraced him from behind. Her warm cheek pressed against his back, nestling between his shoulder blades. “Alex, I love you. Don’t be mad.”
Shrugging out of her grip, even though every fiber of his being screamed at him to stay put, he stepped into jogging pants and pulled a knit cap out of his top drawer.
“I’m not mad. I said it’s fine.” Staring into her deep brown eyes, he couldn’t hold on to his bad mood. “I’m going for a run while it’s still light outside.” He cupped her chin with one hand, pulling her to him for a kiss. “I’ll see you later.”
Nodding once, she offered him a weak smile. His heart stuttered at the unease on her face, but he needed to clear his head. She was right. It had only been a few months. He was letting the cloud of new love rule his decisions. There was time for them.
But then, he’d thought he’d had forever with Roxie. And he’d been wrong.