Resolution (A Golden Beach Novel)

by Kim Loraine

  “How are my girls today?” Dean’s overly familiar words had her shifting out from under his fingers.

  “We’re good. I’m feeling her move so much now.”

  His eyes lit with excitement. “I can’t wait until I can feel her.” He placed a palm over her bump and rubbed gently. “I just wish . . . things were different. God, Lo, this is the life I wanted for us.”

  Taking his hand, she moved it off her belly. “I’m sorry. I can’t be what you want. Once Alex has had time to deal with what happened, I’ll tell him. He deserves to have a chance to be her father.”

  “But I can be her father. I want to. He’s broken and jagged around the edges. A time bomb ready to explode. I know it’s not how we planned it, but I can love her like she’s my own. All you have to do is say the word.”

  Cupping his jaw in her palm, she let herself consider his offer as she stared into his eyes. It would be so easy to fall back into life with him. Dean was a solid guy. Even after his struggle accepting her choice to move on, he’d had her best interest at heart. But the truth was, she only had room in her heart for one man, and Dean wasn’t him.

  “I can’t, Dean. I love Alex even though I ruined everything between us. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “Is it going to be fair to this little girl to have a deadbeat alcoholic for a father?”

  Anger ignited in her chest. “He’s not a deadbeat or an alcoholic. Don’t be a jerk.”

  His eyes widened. “I’m telling the truth. He’s been parked on a stool at the Bar and Grill practically every night. I’m just waiting to get a drunk and disorderly call about him. It’s coming. I’ve seen it too many times.”

  Her heart broke thinking about Alex drinking away his own pain. Grabbing her coat and the keys to the little used Honda Civic she’d purchased, she moved toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” Dean called after her.

  “To find him. He deserves better than this.”

  Without waiting for him to stop her, she raced outside to her car, fighting the chill of the February evening. Her heart pounded in her chest as she drew closer to the bar. What was she going to say if she found him?

  Loud music filled the bar as she walked through the doors. Bodies writhed on the dance floor and as she scanned the crowd, looking for him, fear coiled in her chest.

  “Hey, there, beautiful. What are you doing here?” Sully’s voice hit her ear at the same time his hand gripped her elbow.

  Turning to face him, she offered a weak smile and pulled her coat closed around her belly. “I’m looking for Alex.”

  Shaking his head, he took a drink of his beer. “Nope. You’re not going anywhere near him. He’s working you out of his system.”

  “I just want to make sure he’s okay. We need to talk.”

  “What aren’t you understanding? He’s not okay. You chewed him up and spit him out. He’s doing his best to get over you and you getting in his face to make yourself feel better isn’t going to help.”

  Standing her ground, she fought off the urge to cry at the thought of how badly Alex was hurting. “I have something I need to talk to him about.”

  Rolling his eyes, Sully jutted his chin toward the tables in the corner. “He’s over there. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though. He doesn’t want to see you.”

  Knees shaking, she walked across the room, pushing past a few couples grinding on the dance floor. As she caught sight of his tawny hair, her heart sped up and her breaths came in short gasps. Until a dark haired beauty straddled his hips and shoved her tongue down his throat. Lauren watched as the woman practically gave him a lap dance in front of her. Her full hips rolled over his as she tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed her breasts against him. Alex gripped her around the waist before sliding his hands up her back and into her hair, just as he’d always done with Lauren. She could almost feel the ghost of the memory on her skin.

  Seeing him in another woman’s arms hurt worse than she’d ever imagined. But when he opened his eyes and his gaze found hers, she thought she might die right there in the crowded bar. He never stopped kissing the woman as he stared Lauren down.

  The sight of him letting that woman grind all over his body, returning her kiss, obvious of Lauren standing there watching, sent a wave of nausea through her. She was going to be sick. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she rushed to the bathroom, nearly missing the toilet as she emptied the contents of her stomach. After cleaning herself up, she stood in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection. Dean had warned her that Alex would hurt her. But she’d never thought him capable of intentionally doing so. Splashing cold water on her face, she took a few steadying breaths before squaring her shoulders and walking back out into the crowd. Gaze trained on the door, she strode past Sully who stopped in his tracks when he saw her. His eyes went wide and he looked about to say something but she shot him a deadly glare.

  “Don’t let him do anything stupid. You hear me, Sullivan?”

  He nodded and opened the door for her.

  The cold air was welcome as she walked to her car. Holding it together as best as she could, she opened her door with shaking hands and managed to make it back to Dean’s house without falling apart.

  Bully for her.

  ~ ~ ~

  Staring at Lauren while he let some chick fuck his face with her mouth was a shitty thing to do. Alex knew how awful it had been, he’d seen the look of disgust in her eyes. But he couldn’t let himself be around her. If he gave her an inch, he’d give her the world, and his heart couldn’t take another beating.

  “Get the fuck off me,” he growled at the nameless woman on his lap, pushing her off as he watched Lauren rush away.

  “I thought we were having fun, fire boy.”

  Staring blankly at the sad replacement for Lauren, he sighed. Fake lashes, thick makeup, and bad hair extensions would never be a good substitute for the woman he loved. “No. This isn’t fun.”

  She pouted and ran a hand up his thigh, batting those spidery eyelashes. “I can make it fun.”

  Out of the corner of his eye he caught Lauren walking determinedly toward the door. Standing, he made to follow her, but stopped when Sully made eye contact and shook his head as he let her out. After she was gone, he crossed the room in long strides.

  “What was that about?”

  Sully wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I think you need to call it a night, man.”

  Raking a hand through his hair, Alex worked to keep his anxiety at bay. “Shit, what am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?”

  Clapping him on the shoulder, Sully looked him straight in the eye. “We need to talk. But not tonight. Not when you’ve been drinking. Let me call you a cab.”

  Shaking his head, he stared back at his friend. “No. I’ll walk. It’s not far.”

  “All right. I’ll settle up the tab. Meet me at The Oak Tree for breakfast tomorrow.” His heart skipped a beat, but Sully cast him a knowing glance. “She’s not working tomorrow.”

  “How would you know?”

  “I fucking asked her.”

  “Fine. See you then.”

  As he walked home, the bracing air helped clear his head. He felt sick, disgusted with himself. Lauren may have hurt him, but she didn’t deserve to be treated like that, especially by him. How could he claim to love her and act that way? Spiteful, mean, ruthlessly aiming to hurt her back.

  The next morning he stood outside of The Oak Tree Cafe with his shaking hands shoved in his pockets, praying he wouldn’t see her. Sully said she wouldn’t be here, but what if she’d had to cover for someone?

  As he walked in, the chatter from Kayleen and the other waitress stopped as they glared at him.

  “Your buddy’s already seated.” Kayleen, who had once been his biggest fan, looked like she w
as ready to pour boiling hot coffee in his lap.

  As he walked to the table, his favorite spot, he could feel the eyes of every employee on him. At least, that’s what it felt like.

  Sully was already slurping down his hot chocolate, topped with a mound of whipped cream and chocolate shavings, like a goddamned kid.

  “Are you serious, Sullivan? You know, coffee is for grownups. This shit is for snow days and elementary schoolers.”

  Grabbing a spoon, Sully scooped up a bite of cream and savored it. “I like it sweet. Coffee ruins that.”

  “So, what did you want to talk to me about? I’m not staying here. By the looks on every face I’ve seen, my food will come back poisoned.”

  “There’s something you need to see.”

  A sinking feeling took hold in his gut. This was a fucking set up. Sully was a bastard. Pushing back his chair, Alex stood and turned toward the kitchen, ready to leave. A soft gasp caught his ear, making his shoulders stiffen as his gaze darted to the wide brown eyes nestled in a gorgeous heart-shaped face. Instinctively, his gaze traveled her form, taking in the white T-shirt that hugged her full breasts, down to the tucked in waist . . .

  His jaw dropped as his brain caught up to what he was seeing. A distinct pregnant belly.

  “You’re fucking pregnant?” His voice was broken as he worked to push the words out.

  “Alex . . . I—”

  Before she could say another word, he cut a glance at Sully. “You knew? You son-of-a-bitch. You couldn’t just tell me?”

  When he turned back to Lauren his heart dropped like a stone. She was gone. All he knew was the desperate need to see her again, to find out more about their child, and to figure out where they went from here.

  “Where’d she go?” he asked Kayleen, as he stalked across the restaurant.

  Shrugging, the insufferable woman ignored him.

  “Kayleen, tell me where she went.”

  “Sorry, doll. I don’t think she wants to see you.”

  “She’s pregnant with my kid. I need to see her.”

  Stepping in front of him, she pressed one long acrylic nail to the center of his chest. “Do you know how destroyed she’s been? How heartbroken? I’m not letting you anywhere near her. She’s got a heart bigger than anyone I know, and you crushed it. I don’t know what you did and I don’t care. All I care about is her.”

  Moving forward, he placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to persuade her to step aside.

  “Get your hands off of me or I’m calling the cops. You want to talk to her? Call her after her shift.”

  Sully walked up to him, grabbing him by the elbow. “Come on, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’d go down like this.”

  Raking a hand through his hair, Alex worked to control himself. He couldn’t handle this. Heart racing, he paced in the parking lot, trying to work it out. By the looks of her, she was at least halfway through her pregnancy, maybe more. They hadn’t been together long enough for that, had they? How long had she known? This was just another thing on the list she’d chosen to keep from him.

  “Alex, man, you need to pull your shit together. You keep tugging at your hair and you’re going to be as bald as the chief.”

  He shot a glare at Sully, anger and betrayal burning brightly in his chest. “You blindsided me, Sully. What the fuck is wrong with you? She decimated me, and you let me walk into something like that blind.”

  A guilty look crossed Sully’s face. “I’m sorry. But I thought it would be the kick in the pants you needed to get past what happened. You’re miserable without her.”

  “How do I even know it’s mine?”

  The younger man crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you kidding?”

  “She moved back in with Dean. You think he’d have been so eager to take her back if they hadn’t been keeping close the whole time she was with me? It was all a lie. She didn’t love me. She probably just fucked me because she thought it would be good hands-on research.”

  “Shit, man. I didn’t think of that. She doesn’t seem like the type—”

  “Stop. We don’t know what type she really is. I’ll figure this shit out, somehow. I get what you were trying to do, but in the future, stay out of my personal life.”

  Nodding, Sully walked to his Harley and strapped on his helmet. “Noted.”

  Alex got in his truck and reached to turn the key, but couldn’t. Instead, he sat resting his head on the steering wheel, trying to figure out his next move.

  Chapter 25

  Panic gripped Lauren’s chest as she peered out the window of the cafe and saw Alex’s truck still in the parking lot. He’d waited hours. Hours. There was no way she’d be able to sneak past him, but after the look on his face, the horror in his eyes when he’d realized she was pregnant, that’s all she wanted to do. Was it so easy for him to forget the love he’d claimed to have for her? She’d never imagined he would react so negatively.

  As if the powers that be were planning a crap-on-Lauren day, she watched Dean’s police cruiser pull up and park right next to Alex’s truck.

  “Oh, no. This is not good.” She’d hoped her muttered words were quiet enough not to draw attention, but Kayleen perked right up at the tension in her tone.

  “What? What’s going on?”

  “Dean’s here.”

  “And Alex is still in his damn truck?”

  Nodding, Lauren leaned closer to the window and willed Alex not to notice Dean. As soon as Dean got out of the car, she realized that instead of avoiding the confrontation, he was barreling headlong into it. He knocked on Alex’s window, standing with the kind of posture that showed off both his badge and gun.

  “I’d better go out there and keep this from getting nasty.”

  Kayleen only nodded and grunted something unintelligible as she took Lauren’s place at the window.

  Hands shaking, Lauren stepped outside and walked across the parking lot toward the two men now standing on the pavement.

  “Hey, Lo. You okay?” Dean’s voice held a note of genuine concern.

  “Fine. What’s going on here?”

  “I got a call that someone was loitering in the parking lot. Came to check it out.”

  Alex let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not fucking loitering.” Casting a pained glance at Lauren, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “I was waiting for you. Kayleen wouldn’t let me past her.”

  She couldn’t help the hope that grew in her heart. “What do you want?”

  “Can we talk somewhere private?”

  Dean stepped between them. “Anything you need to say can be said in front of me. I’m not leaving you alone with her.” He placed a protective hand over the swell of her belly and she didn’t miss the way Alex’s jaw clenched.

  “So, that’s how it is?”

  She wanted to answer, but the lump in her throat kept her from speaking before Dean pulled her close to him.

  “Yes. It’s how it should be.” Dean stared Alex down, challenge written all over his face.

  Letting out a bitter laugh, Alex shook his head and got back into his truck. She tried to move out of Dean’s grasp, but he held her tight.

  “Let him go. He’s not good enough for you, Lo. You saw how he reacted. It’s just a matter of time before he loses it.”

  As Alex peeled out of the parking lot, she fought back tears. “This isn’t how I thought he’d respond.”

  Shaking his head, Dean turned her in his arms and stepped back. “I told you he’d hurt you. He’s a loose cannon. I can’t really blame him. The guy lost everything. But to expect him to be able to settle down, start a family, less than two years after the love of his life died? That’s more than wishful thinking.”

  Sharp, searing anger bloomed in her chest as she looked u
p into his pity-filled expression. “I never expected any of that. I didn’t plan this,” she said, gesturing to her belly. “But if you think I didn’t notice your insinuation that this baby isn’t his, you’re dead wrong.”

  Posture going stiff, he clenched his jaw. “I’m just trying to make it easier on you.”

  “How? How in the heck does this make anything easier? Now he thinks I’m a whore who cheated on him and used him for my book.”

  “I want to take care of you.” His voice was soft and held a hint of vulnerability as he lowered his gaze to the ground.

  “Dean, I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I’m an adult. I know how the world works. And I can do this on my own. The only person who needs taking care of is this little baby. She needs her father, not a stand-in.”

  “Lo . . .”

  “Why do you constantly feel like I need to be rescued?”

  Raking his hand through his hair, he sighed. “I love you.”

  “No, you don’t. If you loved me, you’d let me be who I am. You wouldn’t second guess my goals, or criticize my clothes. You wouldn’t tell me who I should hang out with, or what music I should listen to. You’d love all of me—the good parts, the bad, and the annoying. Because when you love someone, really and truly, the little things that make them who they are should be cherished, not tucked neatly into a box.”

  “I . . . don’t—”

  “Dean, we stopped being lovers a long time ago. I need you to see that.”

  He chewed on his lower lip, eyes focusing everywhere but on her. “Fuck, Lo. I see it. I just don’t know how to let go. I thought we were going to have the house, the family, the happy life. But you’re right, it wasn’t going to work out.” Taking her hand, he finally met her gaze. “You can stay with me as long as you want. Get your plan set up, find a good place for you and the baby. Don’t leave until you’re ready. I’ll be here for you . . .” He took a long breath. “. . . As your friend, nothing more.”