by Justine Dell
She clung to him and his words. Her heart unfolded in her chest, took in all of him, and closed tightly, unwilling to let him go. Tears of pleasure pooled beneath her closed eyes. This was the point of no return, and there was no going back. No covering it up. No hiding. She loved this man. This wonderful, respectful, willful man. And she couldn’t even tell him.
They’d made love that changed her, made her realize she could be soft and selfless again. She’d known it would come to this. He would break her. She’d needed it and him in more ways than he probably knew.
He curled his body around her, hugging her close. The scariest ride of her life was just beginning.
Samantha stretched her back like a cat, resisting the urge to purr. She not only felt one hundred and fifty percent fulfilled from the prior evening’s events, she was also the most well-rested she’d been in years.
Through the fog in her brain, she remembered.
“Gram!”
She shot upright and tossed the covers aside. She sprang out of bed and rushed around the room, gathering clothes. Regret pierced her heart. She’d forgotten her grandmother’s physical therapy session. How could she let something so significant slip her memory? She wanted to smack herself for letting Gram down.
“She’s gonna be so disappointed in me,” she mumbled to herself.
“Sam?” Samantha snapped her head up at the sound of Lance’s voice. He was sitting up in bed, head cocked in her direction. “What’s wrong?”
Samantha yanked on some jeans, tugged on a shirt, and pulled her hair back.
“I totally spaced on the therapy session I promised Gram I’d go to this morning.” She jumped across the floor, slipping on her left shoe. “She’ll wonder what happened to me. She’ll be upset I wasn’t there.” A few more jumps and her right shoe was in place. “I can’t believe I forgot about her. Here I tried to make everything up to her, to help her. And I ruined it in one day.”
“Calm down.” Lance’s arms wrapped around her back and he kissed her neck. Samantha stilled instantly. “I talked to Dorothy yesterday after we took Cole to the hospital. I mentioned you might not be able to make it.”
“How did you know about the session?”
“I’d talked to her earlier that day. She told me about it.”
Samantha twisted in his arms to face him. He looked devilish in the morning. His dark hair hung around his tan face, eyes focused intently on her. They were clear but a little weary from just waking.
“I should still go see her. I feel awful.”
“All right.” He brushed his lips across hers. It was enough to ignite the fire in her belly. She sighed against his mouth.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I owe you one.”
He winked at her. “You owe me lots, actually—”
Her brows drew together. “Do I?”
“You bet.” His arm tightened around her waist. “After years of dreaming about us together, I think we have a lot to make up for.”
The flames grew, threatening to make her fall to the floor.
“I’ve got to go.”
Lance released his grip and took a small step back. “I have to go pick up Jax from his friend’s, too.”
Jax. The magic word. Why had she not considered Jax in the equation of her and Lance? In this case, one plus one equaled three. Samantha didn’t want to fall in love with Jax and then break his heart when she went back to New York. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Who was she kidding? She already loved Jax—she had since the first moment they met. There was a spark about him that sucked her right in and refused to let go. Maybe spending some time with him would help heal the wounds Ryan left when he took Ava away. It might give her something to be hopeful for.
“I’ll work on the house this afternoon,” Lance continued. “Want to have dinner with Jax and me after?”
“Um, sure. Here?”
“No, I’d thought we’d go out. Jax has been bugging me to go to the park.” His lip twitched into a smile. “Thought we could make a night of it.”
“That’d be great.”
He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “See you then. You’d better go.”
“Yeah. And thanks.”
“Anytime.”
With her head screwed on tighter, her thoughts in better order, Samantha briskly walked into Gram’s room.
“Morning, Gram.” Samantha went to Dorothy’s side and kissed her on the cheek. “You look wonderful this morning.”
“I’m feeling well, too.”
“I’m sorry I missed the session—”
Dorothy waved a hand. “It’s okay. Lance told me all about it.”
Samantha took a seat and sighed. “Yes. He was a lifesaver yesterday, in more ways than one.”
Dorothy raised an eyebrow. “That sounds interesting. One of those ways must be what put the color back into your cheeks.”
“I’m feeling well today.”
Dorothy shrugged innocently and smiled brightly. “I’m old, dear, not blind…or dead. I know the look of a satisfied woman when I see it.”
“Gram!”
“Dear?”
“It’s just…um.” Samantha didn’t quite have the words to respond. She’d never considered having a conversation like this with her grandmother.
“Lance?” Dorothy asked.
There was no hiding it, no going back. She’d taken the plunge, given the chance, and she shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of it. It was natural. She should let herself be happy about it, about him. If she could get over her last few road blocks, she could do just that.
“Yes, Lance,” Samantha admitted.
“I figured.”
“Can I just say that you have really made an amazing recovery?”
Dorothy’s wrinkled face lifted. “Have I? What makes you say that?”
“Well, you’re looking better. You’ve got color in your face. You’re smiling and you look happier than you have since the first time I came.” Samantha blushed. “And well…I wasn’t expecting you to catch on about Lance.”
“I’ve known Lance a long time. When he came over to the house, he used to stop in the hallway and look at your pictures. Sometimes he would smile, sometimes he would frown, but he always looked.”
“Oh.” Samantha got goose bumps. “Sorry I missed your therapy session. I really wanted to be here.”
“I know.” Dorothy rose from chair and walked across the floor toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Samantha asked.
“My session time changed today. It’s right now. Care to join me?”
Samantha jumped up. “Of course!”
Lance picked up Jax and took him to breakfast at Candice’s diner, still wearing a smile from the night before. Deep in his gut, he wanted a million more like it. He shrugged off that thought. Samantha didn’t want anything long-term. Not only that, he still wasn’t certain she was on the mend with her life.
“Hey, Candice,” Lance said as he and Jax strode into the diner.
“Hey, boys!” Candice rushed around the counter and greeted both of them with a hug. “You hungry?”
Jax beamed. “Yeah, Aunt Candy! Can I have some pan-e-cakes?”
Lance laughed.
“Sure thing, squirt. Have a seat. I’ll bring them out.” Candice looked at Lance. “Where were you last night? I called and left messages. I needed help rearranging the equipment in back.”
“Was some of your new bakery equipment delivered?”
“Yes, and now it’s hogging the back room. I could’ve used some of your man-strength.” She eyed him curiously, and he tried not to smile. “Why didn’t you call me back?”
“I was busy.”
Candice’s curious eyes changed to amusement. “Ah…I see. Busy. I want details.”
“Later. If ever.”
“Later it is. I’ll bring out a hearty breakfast of meat and eggs.” She winked at him before striding off in the opposite direction.
Lance led Jax
to the table and they sat down. “Did you have fun at Jim’s last night?” Lance asked.
“Yeah.” Jax proceeded to tell Lance every detail of the sleepover. “He showed me the new stegosaurus he got to go with his other one.” He set his T-Rex on the table. “Can I get another dinosaur? My T-Rex is lonely.”
“You’ve got a million other dinosaurs.”
“Here you go, boys!” Candice dropped plates in front of both Jax and Lance. “Hot off the grill.”
“That was fast. Thanks,” Lance replied.
“Getcha anything else?”
“Blueberry syrup!” Jax said.
Candice pulled a jar from the pocket of her apron. “You didn’t think I would forget that, did you?” She set it down next to Jax’s plate and ruffled his hair.
“Thanks, Candy.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll come back to check on you in a bit.” She cast a sideways glance at Lance. “And talk to you.”
Lance rolled his eyes. Candice could ask all the questions she wanted—he wasn’t up for answering them.
“Dad,” Jax called out.
“Hmm?”
Jax stabbed his pancakes with his fork and stuffed a heap in his mouth. “The dinosaurs, Dad. Can I get another one?”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. I already said you have others.”
“I know, but T-Rex doesn’t have a friend.”
“T-Rex doesn’t need a new friend. He can be friends with all the others.” Lance grabbed a piece of bacon and put it in his mouth.
“Every one of my dinosaurs has a friend like them and T-Rex doesn’t. Velociraptor has a velociraptor friend. Brontosaurus has a brontosaurus friend. T-Rex needs someone to play with. He can’t be alone all the time, Dad. Everyone needs a mate.”
Lance choked on the bacon. “What?”
Jax’s face grew serious. “Every dinosaur needs a mate. Another dinosaur to take care of them. To hunt together. To protect their eggs together. A mate.”
“Where did you learn that?”
Jax’s face saddened for a brief second. “On the Discovery Channel.”
Lance shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Jax was more perceptive than he’d like to admit. “Okay, we’ll get you another T-Rex.”
“Today?”
“Maybe.”
“Eat up, Jax,” Candice said as she strolled back over. She took a seat next to him and pretended to take a bite of his food. Jax jerked the plate away and giggled. “You’ve got that project in the back to finish up.”
“Can I finish it today?”
“That’s up to your dad.”
Jax turned to Lance. “Can I, Dad? Can I stay here and finish the project for Aunt Candy?”
“Eat all your breakfast first.”
Scoop by scoop, Jax inhaled his breakfast. “Can I go now?”
“Go ahead,” Lance replied.
Jax jumped up on the seat and bounded through the back door like a monkey on a mission. Lance eyed Candice carefully.
“Did you give him the sugar-free syrup?” he asked. Candice looked away. “Figured. Good thing you’re the one keeping an eye on him.” Lance finished off his plate. “What do you have him doing back there anyway?”
Candice lifted a brow. “It’s a surprise. And he needs the energy—I didn’t give him the wrong syrup on accident.”
“I figured.”
Candice propped her elbow on the table. “So, you gonna tell me who kept you busy last night? I’d be blind to not notice the twinkle in your eye.”
Lance grunted. “Twinkle?”
Candice waved her hand dramatically. “Yes, the twinkle. And the confident smirk.”
“You’re too observant.” He rose.
“Don’t you want some coffee?”
“Not if it comes with twenty questions.”
She rose and pinched the underside of his arm. “Jerk.”
He tugged on her apron. “Nosy.”
She smacked his arm. “Baby.”
“You’re the one who started the name calling.”
She gave him a gentle push. “I’m just a dear, loving sister who cares about the well-being of her brother.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
She laughed and cleared the table. “You want some help?” he asked.
“No, I’ve got it. Since you’re not going to give me any answers, you might as well run along.”
“If you didn’t ask so many questions, I would stay and chat awhile.” He wanted to laugh at the sarcastic look Candice shot him. “I’ll be back to pick up Jax this afternoon. We’re going to the park.”
“Sounds fun. I’ll make sure to give him lots of candy.”
“Please don’t.”
Candice straightened. “Maybe I won’t if you answer one question.”
His lip twitched. “One.”
“Who was it?”
Damn it. He should’ve seen that one coming. There was no harm in answering her, really. He just really didn’t want Candice to get worked up over something that might not work out. After all, Samantha was still partly tucked away in her cocoon.
“Who?” Candice repeated. “You know I’ve got a one-hundred-ounce jar of M&M’s in the back. It’s full.”
“You wouldn’t.”
She smiled wickedly and nodded. “I would.”
He had to give her props for her tactics. In the end, he would have told her anyway. He just wished he’d had more time to work through his own feelings before telling anyone.
“Samantha,” he finally replied.
She smiled again and gently smacked his cheek. “About time.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Love is, and will always be, unfamiliar pain…and beauty.”
~Unknown
SAMANTHA RACED HOME, still in high spirits from a day of cleaning the antique shop, visiting Gram, and even thinking about Lance.
His truck was already in the driveway. She smiled and floated inside with long, confident strides. Jax bounded up the hallway.
“Samantha!” He ran toward her and knocked her back a step as his body slammed into hers. His arms wound around her waist, and when he looked up at her, she almost teared up. “Dad said we’re going to the park!”
She nodded and sucked in a breath. “Yeah, kiddo. We sure are.” She rubbed his head and pinched his cheek. He giggled and ran toward the living room where Lance was seated on the sofa…with pages from Samantha’s novel spread out in his hands.
“What are you doing?” Samantha asked.
He dropped the pages and rose. “Oh, I was just reading some of your work.”
“I don’t let anyone read my stories until they’re done.” And even then it was only her agent and publisher. She walked over to him and shuffled the papers back into neat piles. Irritation crept in.
“I’m sorry.” He reached down to help.
She shook her head. “It’s all right. You didn’t know.”
He laced his fingers with hers. “If it’s any consolation, I liked it. You’ve certainly got a way with words.”
She glanced at his remorseful, yet sinfully good-looking face. The irritation slithered right out of her body.
“On paper, anyway. Thank you. I’ve had a little trouble finishing this particular story. I’m not sure what the problem is.” She was still worried about finishing her book. She didn’t know if she had it in her. Something about it was…amiss. But when she looked again at Lance, the world disappeared.
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re smart.” He raised a brow. “And sexy.” She smiled as he wrapped his arm around her and placed a featherlight kiss on her cheek. “By the way, it’s good to see you.” Heat rushed to all the right places.
“You, too.”
Three words almost slipped from her lips. She closed her eyes and pretended it would be okay. Being in love wasn’t a death sentence. Well, it felt like one to her for two reasons. She didn’t know what he would say, and more importantly, she would never be able to give La
nce what he needed. After Ryan, Samantha just wasn’t whole. No amount of love would fix that. She would let no man, not even one with Lance’s strength and determination, into her life permanently. She couldn’t. Another bad ending would certainly kill her.
But she’d already let Lance into her life, hadn’t she? Was she already set up for some kind of bad ending? She shook her head; she wouldn’t think about that. For now, she would enjoy the time she had, the things Lance had shown her. She’d savor the touches and caresses, no matter how much her heart would break when she left. It was better that way. She just hoped that Jax didn’t get attached to her like she already was to him. She cast another glance at Lance, and her heart twisted painfully in her chest.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You look like you’re concentrating on something.”
“No, I’m fine.” She faked a smile.
“Sam, you’re a terrible liar.” He brushed a stray hair out of her face. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m okay. Gram will get to come home soon.”
His expression lifted. Jax ran over and thrust out two T-Rexes for Samantha to see.
“Look what Dad got me today! Another T-Rex! Isn’t she cool?”
“She?”
“Yeah! I told Dad Mister T-Rex needed a mate. He was lonely. Now he’s not! He’s got someone to share everything with. A dinosaur just like him!” Jax wiggled both dinosaurs. “Everyone needs a mate.” Jax’s big eyes beamed at Samantha. “Do you have a mate, Samantha?”
Words caught in her throat. “Umm…no.”
“Dad doesn’t have one either. Do you want one?”
Samantha lost her breath. Speechless. Lance gripped her elbow.
“Jax,” he said, “let Sam get settled in and then we can go to dinner.”
“Aw, Dad.”
Lance’s hand fell away from Samantha’s arm. “Come on, we’ll go outside and play hide-n-seek.”
Jax’s face lit up like an over-decorated Christmas tree. “Okay!”
In a flash, Jax was out the door and Lance stood in front of Samantha, his hands on her shoulders. She still hadn’t taken a breath.