Sweet Queen

by Luna Maye

  “I think I want to see it first and then give it to her.”

  “Don’t be so hasty Cal. This is serious and you need to understand the repercussions. It’s not supposed to even exist anymore. Sure it will explain her scars and some of her reactions, like the hospital, but all of that information comes at a price. It’s a burden you’ll both have to share.”

  “But Mina, you came out of a club and you survived it. Look at Isabel and Reina, they’re not really any worse for wear.”

  “It’s so different, Cal, that it’s almost laughable you think any of us experienced even a fraction of the amount of suffering Shelli went through. Now, if Shelli decides she needs answers or something else happens to upset her, I will definitely give it to you, but you need to be sure and you need to commit to reading it for yourself first and putting it in order for her. You need to be there for her when she finally reads it.”

  “I can do that Mina, thank you for letting me know that it at least exists, that we have options moving forward. I’m glad Shelli has someone like you looking out for her in this life, you’ve been an invaluable friend to her.”

  Mina smiled up at him wryly, a secretive sort of bittersweet grin playing across her face.

  “Yeah, let’s hope you hold on to that sentiment once you read the journal.”

  “Well, I won’t ask you for it unless Shelli really needs answers, unless something goes wrong enough for me to think it would be worth it to her to face all of the bad memories.” He looked up and down the hallway, a little antsy without having eyes on Shelli. Sure, she was probably fine, but being near her, watching the effortless way she won people over and treated them with care, that was a balm on his soul.

  “I think I’ll go find our girl,” He said, standing and looking over his shoulder at Mina, she looked tired and a little deflated as she slumped her back against the bench. It had definitely been a long day for all of them, but the feelings of accomplishment and the liveliness of the party could only go so far toward maintaining their energy.

  “Do you want me to send Victor this way if I see him? He won’t be happy when he sees how tired you are, you two should have broken off and headed home hours ago.”

  “I know, I know.” She smiled up at him, her grey eyes still alight with a happy, healthy glow despite her fatigue. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with all of you alpha types around now, I can’t get away with anything anymore.” She winked at him playfully, standing up beside him and starting toward the kitchen.

  “Not that I’d want to. I already texted Victor to meet me and take me home.”

  She waltzed away from him, her hands supporting her lower back and belly as she went.

  “Hey Mina,” She turned to face him, her eyes questioning as he stood still in front of the venue doors. “Thank you, again.”

  “You’re welcome Cal, just let me know when you need me, alright?”

  “Alright.”

  He watched her for a moment, just to be sure she made it to the kitchen without getting sidetracked, before he pushed through the doors into the dining hall. The lights were on and the DJ was already packing up his gear. The bride’s friends and family were helping pack up tables and decorations while the resort staff cleaned the room. The whole area was an explosion of flower petals, dabs of icing in random places and discarded cups and drinks, but everyone was working together happily to get the job done.

  He scanned the area looking for Shelli, the bride and groom had already moved on and made their exit as he was talking to Mina. He didn’t see the beautiful redhead amongst the servers carrying plates or along the edges of the room picking up trash. Rita was alone at the cake table boxing up the top tier for the happy couple, not a single slice of cake or spare cookie in sight.

  “She went out back to put some supplies in your jeep,” Isabel said at his elbow. She’d approached so silently he didn’t even hear her. As he looked down, he noticed why. Instead of her usual clunky black biker boots, she was wearing a pair of thick-soled platform slip-ons. Her hair was pulled back in a low half-up style that flattered her heart-shaped face, now free of her normal heavy black liner and she was dressed conservatively in a pale grey dress. It was a complete and total transformation.

  “Alright, quit looking at me like I’m a zoo animal. Shelli had me seating people tonight so she forced me to ‘look presentable.’”

  “I think you skipped right over presentable and went straight for ‘hot damn.’” Mattie said behind her, snagging one of her hands in his as Moises rolled up on her other side. “What are you doing out here, I thought you were ready to go home, Bella.”

  For the first time, Cal noticed how young the three of them looked. Mattie, with his youthful air and jokester attitude always looked and acted his age, while Isabel hid herself under dark clothes, thick eye makeup, more piercings than anyone should reasonably have in their face and a cloud of cigarette smoke. Here, dressed like a normal, college age girl, he could see a softness to her he’d missed before, one highlighted as she blushed and smiled at Moises’ nickname for her.

  “I am ready, I just saw Cal wandering around out here looking lost and wanted to point him in Shelli’s direction before we left.” She turned back to him, one of her hands still cradled in Mattie’s as Moises placed a palm possessively at her back.

  “I think everything in the kitchen has already been packed up and loaded. They’re getting ready to shut everything down in here too, the family made quick work of all the cleanup.”

  “Thanks, I’ll let Shelli know when I find her. You guys drive safe on the way home, okay?”

  “And that, my friend, is why I’m driving and these two crazy daredevils are going to be stuck in the backseat. Like Driving Miss Daisy.” Mattie patted Cal on the shoulder as he walked past him, only to be followed by the sound of Isabel’s indignant laughter and Moises’ soft chuckle. The three of them were definitely trouble, that was for sure.

  Cal made his way through the reception hall toward the back doors, stopping to talk to a few people as he went. He knew the resort staff and some of the family so he shared his congratulations on the way out. Behind him, the lights started shutting off, line by line with a loud clicking noise. He stepped through the open doors into the back parking lot, the soft haze from the security lights and the waxing moon above illuminating the few cars left behind.

  His jeep was parked close to the kitchen doors at the back of the lot and he could see Shelli steadily packing things into the back cargo space. His heart warmed as he approached her, she looked so pretty in the moonlight, her braided hair coming loosely undone from the exertion of the day and her chef coat sleeves rolled up to elbows as she worked.

  She was beautiful and petite and perfect standing there and as he drew nearer, he saw her stop, turning her face up to the sky to look at the stars above them. She still hadn’t heard him approach, despite his shoes crunching across the gravel and as he came up behind her, he was overwhelmed with such a warm, irresistible urge to hold this beautiful woman, the mother of his unborn child, that he reached out and wrapped in arms around her waist, lightly drawing her back into his body with his hands gently cradling her belly.

  It seemed like the perfect gesture, a natural move at the end of a very long and rewarding day, but as soon as his body made contact with hers, something went terribly, horribly wrong.

  23

  Shelli

  Darkness kept Shelli on edge as she packed the back of Cal’s jeep. It was almost hard to reach up into the elevated monstrosity of a vehicle as she tipped chafing dishes and empty drink servers into the cargo hold. Her back ached and a headache was coming on but she felt very accomplished.

  Thanks to her club family and friends, she was able to complete the job in a way that elicited rave reviews from the bride and groom. Shelli felt more like herself than ever in the time since the accident but she could tell there were some unresolved feelings she couldn’t quite identify bubbling just under the surface.

&
nbsp; Her happiness about the baby, about Cal, was tinted with uncertainty and masked with a sense of unease, like she was missing something, something big. A critical piece of the puzzle was cut from her life and it kept throwing up little reminders at the least convenient times, like tonight as she crossed the parking lot toward the jeep. She felt the uncontrollable urge to run for the small halo of light around the security lamp, like a child with a fear of the dark. She shook it off and forced herself to walk slowly but with purpose the way she normally would, but moments like that, where she felt reactions, feelings she couldn’t explain were the worst after-effect of the accident. She just wanted to regain control over herself again and she couldn’t do that if she continued to jump at loud noises or feel the urge to flinch back from unexpected touches.

  Shelli pushed all of the unsettling thoughts out of her mind as she’d been wanting to do after the accident and settled in to packing up the vehicle. Immersed in her work, she didn’t notice when the shadows lengthened around her, or when almost all of the cars but the one in front of her left the lot. She was oblivious to the lights going off behind her and more so when she missed the footsteps approaching.

  The first thing she did notice, was a tall broad shadow coming over her and a pair of thick, long arms stretching around her abdomen. She froze, unable to think, unable to feel anything but pure panic, sheer fear as she began to fight back. It was the strongest sense of déjà vu she’d ever felt in her life. One moment she was in the parking lot at the lodge in the valley ready to head home and the next she was back in a deserted Dallas parking garage fighting for her own survival.

  Kicking out behind her she screamed as loud as she could for help, the hands held her tighter and she could feel the black dots of panic creeping in at the edges of her vision. She used her nails to claw at her attacker’s skin, biting away at the hands trying to hold her tighter to take her. She wriggled and kicked and did anything in her power to break free but whoever held her was bigger, stronger, and the effort was futile. Her eyes grew blurry, her movements slower and more sluggish as she felt the icy thrill of dread move in deeper, taking hold in her chest and her lungs fought hard to pump in air as her breathing pushed higher before it dropped off completely and she found herself in the blissful black of unconsciousness.

  When she came to, she was sitting on something firm in the parking lot. A warm hand cradled the back of her head while another pressed a cold cloth to her forehead. Snippets of conversation swirled around her but she found it hard to focus on all of them going on at once.

  “What did you do?”

  “I don’t know I just hugged her and she panicked. She fought me so hard, I didn’t want to hurt her and then she passed out.”

  “She’ll be okay but we need to get her back to the compound, maybe her own home will help her get back to normal.”

  “This isn’t right, Mina, she was so scared. I think I need it now.”

  “Well, it will take you most of the night to get it together even if you started right away and she’s going to need someone to stay with her. I’ll ride with you guys and let Isabel know we’re on our way, we’ll all keep her company tonight.”

  “And when we get there, you’ll give it to me.”

  “I don’t have it Cal, it’s in a safe at Reina’s. You go there, tell her I sent you and she’ll know what to do.”

  “Alright I think she’s starting to wake up, let’s get a move on.” The hands holding her stilled as she was shifted from her prone position to be more seated and the lifted up high. She squeaked a little, wrapping her arms around the large man holding high up off the ground. His sandy streaked hair shone in the moonlight and she gasped with recognition when she saw it was Cal holding her, her Cal.

  “Oh my god, Cal. That was you? Did I hurt you?” She clutched her arms around his neck tightly, shoving her head against the thick muscles of his neck and ducking down in shame. Hot tears squeezed out the corners of her eyes and she felt exhausted, like a shell of the happy hopeful woman who’d emerged just hours before.

  “I’m just fine, baby girl, I’m so sorry I scared you. I would never, ever hurt you, you know that right?” His warm, calloused hands pressed back some strand of hair caught around her face and tipped up her chin so their eyes could meet. He looked so unsure, forlorn that her heart almost couldn’t take it.

  “It wasn’t you Cal. It was someone else. It felt like I was living a memory rather than being here in the present. I know you would never hurt me.”

  He set her in to the passenger sea, carefully leaning her head back against the rest and buckling her in securely. When he stepped back, Mina stepped forward, grabbing one of her hands off her lap and holding it warmly between her own.

  “Now, Shelli, we’re going to take you home and all the girls are going to have a slumber party at your house tonight. I know it might be difficult to sleep after what just happened so we’re going to keep you company while Cal has some business to tend to in the shop.”

  “You have to leave?” She whirled around to where Cal was getting in to the drivers seat of the vehicle. His face was grim and determined, not the soft sweet Cal who held her the night before and that’s exactly who she needed in this exact moment.

  “No baby girl, I need to take care of some things for us. I’ll be back by morning and I know you’ll be in good hands. I don’t think I could stand scaring you again like I did earlier. That nearly broke my heart.”

  Shelli jumped a little as Mina shut her door and climbing in the rear seat behind her. Cal’s eyes met hers when she flinched and he was so serious and sat it stole her breath.

  The cab of the jeep was silent as a grave on the short drive back to the compound. Cal’s jaw remained taut, his eyes forward on the road. He looked determined and scared all at the same time and the combination unnerved her. She’d done this to him with her stupid overreaction and the worst part was she didn’t even know why. She panicked for absolutely no reason and she had no frame of reference for her triggers. Was she doomed to a life without hugs? Of looking over her shoulder all the time just in case something might spook her? She couldn’t live like that.

  When the gate opened up for them and they pulled into the compound, Cal ran around to get her door, gathering her up in a gentle hug and giving her a kiss on the forehead as if she was made of glass. It crushed her to think he felt he couldn’t be comfortable around her anymore, that he couldn’t touch her with the intensity, the dominance she craved from him lest she break. As he turned and marched away toward the mechanic’s shop without saying a word, Mina came up beside her and put an arm around her shoulders.

  “Everything is going to be okay, Shells. That man may not know how to show you in this moment, but he loves you and he would do anything to help you feel safe, happy and secure. He’s trying to fix things the only way he knows how tonight, that’s the one reason he’s letting you out of his sight.” She looked up at her friend, nodding sadly before turning to watch as Cal disappeared into the bay doors of the garage.

  The door behind them burst open and Shelli flinched before she reminded herself where she was, who she was with.

  “Get in here you two. I’ve already got our beds made out in the living room and hot chocolate on the stove. If you don’t hurry up, I’ll start the movie and fall asleep without you, I’m not as young as I once was.”

  Shelli turned to her, not able to resist the urge to smile at back at her. Isabel was by far the youngest of the club girls other than Reina and she didn’t look at all old enough to be exhausted before ten, but they’d all had a rough day.

  “What movie are we watching? You always pick dumb stuff. If you want us to watch Children of the Corn again I’m going to revoke your club membership and your girl card.”

  “Wow, girl card? What a way to incentivize me. Besides we’re watching Tangled. It’s my favorite.”

  Shelli looked at Mina, both their eyes wide as they tried to process that Tangled was the favorite movie of the woman
standing in front of them. They stared at each other so long Isabel got tired of standing around and flipped them both the bird before stomping dramatically back into the house. “Move it or lose it, chicas.” The door slammed behind her, punctuating her theatrical exit and both the women left behind burst into laughter simultaneously. When they were wiping their eyes with the backs of their hands and rallying themselves, Mina reached out a swooped Shelli in to a warm hug, her large pregnant belly bumping up against Shelli’s flatter baby bump.

  “I love you, Shells. You’re my best friend and I promise you, we’ll come out on the other side of this better than ever. You’ll be better than ever. And when our two babies are growing up as each other’s best friends in this same courtyard, all of this, tonight will be a distant memory.” She whispered the words into her friends ear as Shelli soaked up the meaning behind them and just as certainly as she knew Cal was her one and only, that the baby growing in her stomach was a product of their love, she also knew that Mina was telling the truth. Everything would get better and that was enough for her to relax into the embrace and believe in better days, at least for a little while.

  An extra pair of arms wrapped around both of them, turning their embrace into a larger group hug. “I’m sorry, I’ve just always wanted to get in on one of these. I love you guys.” Reina sighed from around them, her arms squeezing them into a tight embrace. After long minutes they broke apart and headed inside, where Isabel was already laid out on a giant mound of blankets and pillows littering the floor, a sassy chameleon running around on the large flat screen in front of her. Andy laid at her feet, reaching his snout out to catch popcorn she was tossing at him intermittently and a coal black, three-legged cat lay perched close to his belly between his legs, flicking a paw at his wagging tail.

  “Wait a minute, where’d that cat come from?” Mina said, grabbing a cup of hot chocolate and making a burrito out of herself with blankets on the ground.