by Sadie Marks
The room practically hummed with enjoyment. Some Sadecs were happy to watch the show while they ate their meal, others lined up eagerly for a chance to play with the helpless girl. There had to be some system of deciding how far they could go and how long they could spend with her, but it was worked out behind the scenes, and she only knew what she was experiencing.
Almost all of the things done to her were things she could see herself enjoying in small doses. Some of it, she had already experienced with Tal, although there had been a few new activities that had taken her by surprise. Spreading her cheeks and whipping her puckered hole was something she would be happy to never experience again.
They weren't inexperienced at bringing pleasure or pain, and she'd had so little time to learn that she was overwhelmed. Long before the cycle was over, her attitude and her defiance were gone, stripped from her in layers until she was nothing but a writhing mass of emotions. There was no coherent thought left to her, and she began experiencing each moment in isolation, unable to connect them together.
Every touch of pain. Every second of pleasure. Were. Separate. Distinct. Moments. And it was too much—her mind seemed to come untethered from her body, drifting like a leaf on the wind until she no longer felt anything that they were doing to her. It came with a serene kind of relaxation and a peace that she had never felt in her life. Things happening around her were distant, flickering and vague, like shadows cast by a fire.
Coming back to her body was a shock. It was like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her head, and she sat up gasping, a scream wrenching itself from her throat as she stared wide-eyed in confusion. She would have jumped to her feet and run from the room if she wasn't being cradled in someone's lap and held tight.
She nearly had a panic attack as everything came rushing back to her in a flood, and she suddenly understood what people meant when they talked about their life flashing before their eyes during moments of danger. Well, she wasn't in danger at the moment, but she'd clearly suffered something profound, so maybe that explained it.
"What h-happened?" she asked in a hoarse voice.
The clinician who held her made a clucking sound and patted her bare thigh. "You're fine, girl. You've just reached your limit for the day," he said.
"But I—" She struggled to sit up, and after a hesitation, he released his grip, so she could move out of his lap and onto her knees. She'd lost time because the room was empty now, and looking down, she saw that the oversized tunic had been snapped back onto her, so she wasn't naked anymore. "When did everyone leave? I don't remember," she said.
"I cleared the room when it became obvious that you were no longer attending," he said, leaving her to struggle with what that meant.
"You mean I passed out? Was I injured or…" she trailed off, looking lost.
He chuckled and stroked her hair with an offhand bit of affection. "No injuries, pet. I examined you while you were dazed, and you're perfectly fine and healthy, though probably exhausted and sore now?" His words ended in a question, and she nodded.
She did feel sore. There was a deep-down ache throughout her entire body, but there was nothing sharp or piercing, and she thought she actually liked it. She nodded in answer, and he looked satisfied with that.
"Good, you shouldn't need any more of the cream, then. We'll just leave you with the remnants to remind you for a while," he said. Then he gave her an appraising look, and in a more professional voice, he continued. "Sometimes, Pain Receivers who reach a certain peak feel a detached sense of awareness. A pleasant floating feeling, perhaps, or a sense of being outside of their body. Some have said it's like being intoxicated, and they have acted giddy or silly in response—any of these are perfectly normal reactions to a flood of hormones coursing through your body for an extended period of time."
Her forehead wrinkled, eyebrows drawing downward as she tried to figure out what that meant, and then a look of dawning comprehension appeared. "Oh! Like subspace?" she asked.
He sighed, "Yes, I believe it can be called that. Some also call it drifting." He seemed annoyed that she'd condensed everything into one word, or maybe it was the word itself he didn't care for, but she relaxed because it was something she could understand—if only through reading about submissives who'd experienced it.
"I've had tiny tastes of that since I've been here. The endorphins, the, you know, being turned on is part of it, but I was disappointed because I expected it to be more powerful. More like this," she explained. There was an odd feeling of accomplishment in her tone, as if she'd just completed a difficult puzzle, and despite everything she'd been through, she felt calm and pleased.
"This was your first time with the full experience, then?" He waited until she nodded and then said, "Good. You're very responsive, so I was expecting something like this. There was really no point in continuing to display you after that, so I ended your punishment a little early," he said.
He got to his feet and pulled her up easily with one hand on her arm, holding her steady until he was sure her legs would hold her. The rising motion had made her dizzy, and the world spun around her, but he kept her upright until it settled and then put her in a seat with a warm, sweetened drink.
She was grateful for the heat coursing through her and for the full plate of food he added in front of her. She was less pleased about the discomfort of sitting down. There was an itching pins-and-needles sensation in her rump that had her squirming in the chair as she ate and drank, but by the time she was full, she felt much better.
At least until she realized she didn't know what was going to happen next. Her mind flipped back to the general choosing five warriors to share her with, and she felt queasy. After the cycle she'd just had, she couldn't imagine facing any other surprises.
"Kenzi?"
She looked up, starting to smile as she recognized his voice, but then she stopped. Seeing Tal, she was barely able to keep from throwing herself into his arms, but she couldn't forget he'd given her away. That was probably why he was there now, she realized.
"Yes, Sir?" she asked in a flat monotone.
His unsettling black eyes scanned her for a second, and then he turned to the clinician. "I will take her now, Jev'eel," he said, dismissing the Sadec doctor, who turned to pack the bag he'd brought with him without a word.
She felt oddly pleased to have finally learned the clinician's name without having to ask. She felt like she wanted to thank him, though why, she couldn't say. He'd overseen her hours of pain and given her relief only when necessary, which was his job. But those moments of comfort when she'd come back to herself meant something, and he was kind in his own perfunctory way.
"Thank you, Jev'el," she whispered. She knew she hadn't said his name quite right. She had trouble with the spacing in the longer Sadec names. There was a little hitching in there that she struggled to master, but he just nodded and paused by her side.
He tugged her head back, peered into her eyes, touched the pulse point on the side of her neck and held it for several seconds and then nodded to the general. "She's fine. Some sleep and then another meal before anything else," he said firmly, and then he left.
When he was gone, Tal took a seat next to her and watched her. She picked up the two-pronged eating utensil as a distraction and began pushing the remnants of her meal around her plate as she avoided looking at him.
"How do you feel?" he asked, finally.
She wanted to ignore him. She wanted to be angry and draw on the strength of her stubborn defiance, but it was gone. Emotionally, she was mostly feeling empty, but not in a bad way, just kind of mellow and tired. "I'm sore, and my head is hurting a little, but the food helped," she said quietly.
It seemed to be the right answer, or at least not the wrong one, because he was silent as he watched her play with her food. When it became obvious that she wasn't actually going to eat any more, he stood up, and the next thing she knew, he was lifting her into his arms and striding across the room with her cradled there
like a child.
She panicked, thinking he was bringing her off to her new Master, and she stiffened in his grip. "Where are we going?" she asked, with a plea in her tone.
"I'm taking you to our bed, Kenzi. You need some sleep," he replied shortly.
She looped one arm around his neck and let herself rest against his chest with a long, tired sigh. Sleep sounded so nice, right then. The thought of settling into a warm nest of furs had her relaxed and half asleep as he carried her to their quarters. It was so different from that morning, when he'd slung her over his shoulder with her bare ass peeking up in the air for everyone to see as he'd hauled her through the ship.
That had been mortifying and scary, this felt—safe, but something was wrong with that, some reason why being with him wasn't safe anymore. Her brain was fuzzy from exhaustion, and she suddenly couldn't remember why she'd been angry at him. That morning felt like a long time ago, like she was a different person then. So, she let herself slip into a short nap as he carried her.
"I love you, Tal," she mumbled in a sleepy voice.
There was a pause as if he didn't know quite what to say at first, but finally, "I know you do. Rest, little one. I'll have you in bed soon," he said. The soothing rumble of his voice was the last thing she heard as her eyes closed and stayed that way for the rest of the trip. She woke briefly as he settled her into the bed, making small whining sounds until she got comfortable and he climbed in to hold her.
It was what she needed after what she'd been through, and in that exhausted state, she wasn't thinking about feeling angry or betrayed, she was just glad for the comfort his closeness offered her as she was pulled under, into a deep dreamless sleep.
It was the wrong time of the cycle for sleeping, not even close to the time they'd be settling into bed. On a normal day, he'd only just be returning to their quarters after his shift, but her body needed the recovery time. His did not, so once he was sure she was settled, he slipped out of the bed and left the sleeping room, so he could think without disturbing her.
He fixed himself a drink, barely tasting the strong spirits as he mulled the situation over in his mind and took the occasional sip. As a general, he was used to things being organized and precise. He made plans, and then he set them up, assigning people to carry them out—short term or long term, it didn't matter. Everything he did was to fill his eventual goal to become one of their rulers.
His grandfather had been one of the triad of generals who ruled their planet, and Tal had been educated and groomed to follow him since his birth, but such positions were not inherited. They had to be earned, and with so many vying for the honor, competition was always fierce at every rank—and could be deadly. It wasn't unheard of for one officer to assassinate another, though once you achieved the rank of general, such behavior was expected to be put aside in favor of the common good of their race.
Still, things happened. Accidents weren't always accidents. Communications broke down, and sometimes reinforcements could arrive too late. Well-maintained machinery could suddenly develop fatal flaws, and no one could prove these things were anything but bad luck. Even when they knew there was one who had so much to gain from it, nothing could be said directly; no accusations could be made.
And this was part of what he wanted to change. His people were better than this. They should be better. With some of the finest scientific minds in the universe, they should be leading the way for all the other sentient races to follow, but until they were able to overcome these base warrior instincts to battle everyone, even themselves, that would never happen.
Kenzi was angry at him, he knew that, but she didn't understand. This system of sharing treasured things with each other had been created specifically to help address this need to fight and take what they wanted. These compulsions were rooted deep inside the genetics of every Sadec, and only strict control and rules enabled them to make changes. And those changes were never fast. It had taken generations to reach a point where they could freely share with each other what they found most precious.
Time and severe penalties for those who refused had trained his people to accept and allow their property to be used by others for short periods of time. She wanted him to save her and keep her for himself, but she didn't understand that the cost of it would be too high for both of them. Property that wasn't willingly shared was confiscated and reallocated—for the good of morale. As a general, he was expected to set an example of this, showing no signs of reluctance to pass her on to other deserving warriors, but the truth was that he was struggling with this, too.
Attack and take from other worlds on occasion, yes, despite the sanctions, this was acceptable by their own laws. But withhold something as precious as a Pain Receiver from his own people? She'd be stripped from him and given to another officer, and who knew what else would happen to him. At the very least, behavior like that would show him as unsuitable for higher command. They'd judge him a throwback to earlier times when warriors couldn't be trusted to share, and that would be an end to any chance of his career rising. But despite the fact that he'd never thought of anything else, there was something about her, about the way she made him feel, that drew him. He'd never questioned the reason for their laws before, and he still understood their value, but part of him didn't want anyone else to touch her.
The thought of another warrior putting his hands on her made his insides clench and his teeth grit. Putting her on display for such a long cycle had been as much for his benefit as hers, because for a moment, when he'd seen the hurt in her eyes, he'd wanted to scoop her up and carry her away to their rooms, and that would have been unwise for both of them.
So, now he was left with a dilemma. He'd taken her as his pet because he wanted to verify for himself that the things he'd heard about the submissive humans were true. His grandfather had said once that there was no greater peace for a warrior than that found while delivering pain to a willing victim who begged for more.
A great general, his grandfather; he'd risen through the ranks with a human at his side, and once he'd become one of their leaders, he'd been almost universally revered by the people. He shared his Pain Receiver only with the others in the triad, and all of them had benefited from the calm stability she'd brought them. Tal couldn't remember her original name just now, something foreign and odd on the tongue it had been, but they'd called her Rassa, which meant gift, and it had been fitting.
In Kenzi, he could see his own Rassa and a hope for his people, but he didn't have the power to keep her to himself.
At least, not entirely.
There was one option that was a possibility. It would enable more control over who he shared her with, and how often, in a way that would be acceptable to his people, but he wasn't sure of the legalities because it had never been tried before. He finished his drink in one gulp and then smacked the glass down with a thump as he considered an idea.
It might work. There was a chance despite the lack of precedent, although he'd need to find out before trying anything so extreme. His grandfather would be able to advise him. He'd retired from ruling when his Rassa had died, but he remained as wise as ever, and he knew the laws better than any. He would know if this idea was acceptable.
But it would not be to his benefit to speak with the former leader over an open frequency that others may hear, which meant the communication would take time and planning. For now, nothing would change. Kenzi might be angry with him, but like it or not, she would begin her sharing first thing in the morning.
He sighed when he realized that it would do her no good to coddle her in this issue. He wanted to reassure her, hold her in his arms and tell her that there might be a chance to change this—but he knew that would be mistake. The only thing that was going to get them through this was if he remained her stern Master and accepted no argument from her.
9
She woke with a sense of disorientation. Confused, she sat up, alone in the large fur-covered bed. The room had become familiar during her we
eks on the ship so that wasn't the problem, and she did wake up alone from time to time because Tal didn't always disturb her when he left, but something was off.
When she stretched her arms up over her head, the full-body ache gave her the reminder she needed. She wasn't in pain, not exactly, but she was sore just about everywhere. She sat there for a few minutes lost in thought as she put together the events of the day before, and tears sprang to her eyes when she remembered Tal sending her off with another warrior to be put on display.
But then, later, he'd come for her and carried her back here with such care in his voice, and now she was even more confused about him than she'd been before. She thought she remembered telling him she loved him and winced, hoping she'd dreamed that. She didn't recall his reply, if he'd made one, and she snorted. What would he have said, anyway? He clearly had no feelings for her at all…unless he'd changed his mind?
She slid off the bed, wrapping a fur around her body as she padded out of the sleeping chambers to see if he was there. She found him asleep in the main room, head tipped back against the wall behind his chair and snoring softly. She hesitated, all her weight on one foot as she reached out and then stopped just short of touching him.
"You slept longer than I expected," he said, startling her into jumping back. Only then, did he open his eyes to give her an amused look. They'd played this game between them before, where she'd try to sneak up on him, but she never managed to take him off guard. His senses were too heightened and his skills too attuned for that.
She pulled the fur tighter around her body without answering. It seemed like so long ago she couldn't stand the idea of an animal remnant touching her skin, now she found comfort in the sleek softness as she worked up the courage to tell him how she felt. "Tal, I don't want to go to a stranger. I've never even met any of them," she said finally.