The Chemical Wedding, by Christian Rosencreutz

by John Crowley

  It was seven o’clock now, and we’d had nothing to eat, but the sights and marvels we consumed were enough for me – with such spiritual nourishment I could fast for a lifetime. We were shown intricately made waterworks, metalworks, and artisans’ studios producing work that would surpass ours even if ours were all rolled into one. All these studios and workplaces were built in a vast semicircle, all facing a tall clock15 of the highest quality set up on a beautiful turret in the center, so that the workers could guide their labors by the movements of the planets cleverly modeled there. This gave me a hint as to why our artists never succeed as they might: but it’s none of my business to educate them.

  We were ushered into a spacious room, one that others were also visiting, and in the middle of it stood a terrestrial globe some thirty feet in diameter, though half of it (except for a couple of steps) was set down into the floor. The whole globe could easily be turned on its axis by two men, but only a half of it was ever seen above the “horizon.” I could tell right away that it had some special function, but I couldn’t understand what the small gold circles or rings set on it here and there were for. My page laughed and told me to look closer. I could find my own home-place, with a circle of gold on it, and my companion found his too, and all the others standing there found their countries also marked in the same way.

  “Yesterday,” our page explained, “Old Atlas,16 which is what we call the royal astronomer, told the king he had determined by the stars the likely home-places of all those who would later be elected to the Order, and marked them with these gold circles. And when I saw that your town, my friend, was among them, even though you’d dropped out of the weight trials, I told the captain of the guard that he should suggest weighing all of the dropouts – as one at least came from a fortunate place.

  “And that was the reason, by the way, that I personally was assigned to be your guide.”

  Well, I thanked him very much, and at that studied my town on the globe more closely, and saw that not only was there a gold ring around my home, but that from it there extended faint golden rays – well, I’m not tooting my own horn in saying it, but there it was. Anyway there was more to be learned from this globe and the places marked on it than I want to reveal. Just think about why it is that not every town on earth produces a philosopher.

  Our pages then ushered us all right inside the globe!17 There was a hatch, with the builder’s name and three dedications inscribed on it, let into the “ocean” part of the globe, and if you lifted that up, you could go in on a walkway to a circular space inside that could hold four people at a time. You could sit there comfortably, and even if it had been broad daylight – it was actually dark by now – you could see the stars. I think they were all sapphires and garnets, glittering brilliantly, all set out in the constellations and moving just as the heavens do.

  I kept saying I wanted never to leave – the page later told our young mistress this, who teased me about it, because by now it was supper-time, and I was so entranced by the globe that I was almost last at the table.

  When I could linger there no longer, I hurried to put on my same old gown, which I’d removed before, and went up to the high table. The waiters treated me with so much reverence that I was embarrassed to raise my eyes, and I didn’t see that our mistress was getting up at my approach, which I shouldn’t have let her do – she saw my confusion and tugged at my gown to bring me to a seat.

  There’s no reason to describe the music and all the rest of the banquet, because it’s actually beyond me, and in any case I’ve described it all as well as I can before. Briefly: it was all beauty and gratification. We talked about what we’d done that afternoon (though I didn’t say a word about the library or the tombs). Then, doubtless a little lit up with the wine, the lady presented us with a problem.18

  “Gentlemen, I’m having an argument with one of my sisters,” she said. “In our apartments here, we have an eagle. We both love him dearly, and each of us wants him to love her best, and we fight about it all the time. So the other day we decided to approach him together, and whomever he was more friendly toward, well, she’d be the one who’d have him. So we did, and I had a laurel branch in one hand, as I often do, but not my sister. When we approached our dear eagle, he gave her a laurel branch that he had in his beak – but then reached for mine! So now each of us thinks that this proves she’s the better loved one. Can anyone guess how we are going to resolve this?”

  This was an interesting proposal, and we all wanted to hear a good answer. Everyone, however, looked at me and wanted me to start. I had no idea what to say, and all I could think to do was to propose a different question instead.

  “Lady,” I said, “I think I could answer you, if I could resolve a problem of my own. I have two friends, and both of them are extremely fond of me. They wanted very much to know which of them I was more partial to, and what they decided to do was to rush up unexpectedly to me and see which one of them I embraced first. But one was much slower than the other, and fell behind, and was weeping in disappointment even as I, in ignorance, was hugging the other. Later they told me what their plan had been, and I didn’t know how to resolve it, and I can’t until I get some good advice myself.”

  The lady was perplexed by this too and could understand my feelings. “Well, let’s get both our questions answered,” she said, and turned to the others. But I had already shown them the way to respond.

  “Back in my home town,” the next said, “a young woman was recently condemned to death. The judge in the case, feeling sorry for the girl, decreed that if anyone wanted to be her champion, he should come forward. Now, she had two men in love with her. One quickly got ready and went into the lists to defend the girl’s honor against all comers. The other came too, but a little late – and so what he did was to present himself as the first fellow’s adversary and allow himself to be beaten, so that the maiden would go free.

  “So tell me, sirs and lady, which of them should win the girl?”

  Our mistress threw up her hands at this and said, “I was hoping to get some advice out of you, but I’ve only got myself in a snare. Still, I’d like to hear more, if there are more.”

  “Yes, there are,” spoke up a third gentleman. “None of these tales is as strange as the one that happened to me. When I was young I loved an honest girl, and in order to get her into bed, I used the services of an old woman who was able to bring us together. Well, just as we three were together, the girl’s brothers rushed in on us and were so furious with me they were going to kill me, but I begged and pleaded, and so did the women, and finally instead of taking my life they forced me to swear to marry the dishonored girl – and in every other year, to be husband to the old lady instead. Now tell me: which should I have taken to be my wife for the first year – the old one or the young one?”

  We all laughed a lot at this one, and though some of us talked it over in whispers, no one was willing to try answering it.

  Then a fourth man spoke up. “Once, in a city I know of, there was an honorable lady,19 the wife of a nobleman who loved her, as many did, especially one wealthy young lord who wouldn’t stop pressing her to give in to him. So at last she told him, ‘All right, if in the middle of winter you can bring me into a warm green garden where roses grow, then you can have what you want, but if you can’t, you have to stop this and never pester me again.’

  “So the young man agreed, and set out to find someone who could bring this off, and at last in a far country he found a little old man who said yes, he could accomplish that – if the young man would make over to him half his inheritance. The lord agreed to this, and the little old man did exactly as he said he could. On a cold winter day, the young man invited the lady to come to his garden, where she was astonished to find the sun warm, the grass green, and the roses nodding. He reminded her of her promise, and she had no choice but to agree; but she begged him to let her see her husband once more before she surrendered to him, and the young man agreed to that.

/>   “She confessed to her husband, in tears, what had happened and what she now had to do. Her husband, seeing how clever she had been in trying to stay faithful to him, sent her back to the garden and to the young man, who had purchased her at so high a price, to fulfill the bargain she’d made. But the young lord, when the lady told him all this, was ashamed to touch the honest wife of so honest a man, and sent her home.

  “Now he still owed the little old wizard half his inheritance, but that man, poor as he was, was so moved by what these good people had done that he cancelled the agreement he’d made and returned to his country.

  “Now, ladies and gentleman, can we tell which of these people showed the greatest goodness?”

  We were entirely silenced by that one, and our mistress wouldn’t offer an answer either, but only asked anyone else to contribute.

  “Well, I’ll be quick,” said one. “Who has more enjoyment, a person who can look at what he loves, or the one who only thinks about it?”

  “The one who can see it,” said our young leader.

  “No,” I said.

  So an argument arose about that, until a sixth man called out, “Gentlemen! I’m looking for a wife. Now I have a choice between a virgin, a woman who’s now married to somebody else, and a widow. Make this choice for me and I’ll take it from there.”

  “That’s all well and good,” said a seventh man, “because you have a choice, but in my case I had none.

  “When I was young I was wildly in love20 with a good and beautiful girl, and she loved me too, but her friends and family prevented our marrying. Eventually she married an honest man who treated her affectionately. When she was in childbirth, though, she suffered so dreadfully and it went so badly that everyone thought she was dead. That very night she was buried with mourning and prayers. Now I had a mad idea: In life I couldn’t be with her, but now that she was dead, what difference would it make if I were to see her, embrace her, kiss her? So that night I went with a servant and dug her up. I opened the coffin, and there she lay, as beautiful as ever, and I locked her in my arms. But what’s this? I seemed to feel a little motion in her heart! It grew stronger from my own warmth around her, and at last I was sure she was alive! I quietly carried her to my house and warmed her cold body with hot baths infused with rare herbs; then I called for my mother, and with her help the lady’s child was born, a healthy son, for whom I got a nurse.

  “She lay for two days stunned and unseeing. When she could understand, I explained to her all that had happened. I asked her if she would live now with me, for a time at least, as my own wife. But she couldn’t bring herself to do so, because of how terribly it would grieve her poor husband, who after all had treated her well; but she had to admit that, except for that, she owed as much to me as to him.

  “So when a couple of months had passed, I invited her husband to dinner at my house, and during the conversation I found a way to ask him whether, if his dead wife should come back to him, he would want to have her. He said oh yes he would; he wept; he lamented her loss sincerely. So I got up and went and brought out to him his wife and son.

  “I told him the whole story and then begged him to release her and permit me to marry her instead. He refused absolutely, and we argued long into the night, until at last he had to admit my right, and gave his wife over to me. Now there was still the matter of his son…”

  “What!” our young leader broke in. “I can’t believe that you would double that poor man’s suffering like that!”

  “And what about me?” he said. “I didn’t have a stake in this?”

  We took up the question, and discussed it a long time, though most of us agreed he was in the right. At last he said, “Well, actually, in the end I gave up any claim I had and returned his wife and his son to him. But tell me now, which was greater – my selflessness, or this other man’s joy?”

  The young mistress was so relieved at this that she ordered a toast, just as though it were for that happy husband and wife.

  There were other proposals and parables thrown out after that which were puzzling enough that I can’t remember them all, but I remember one man saying that a few years before, he’d known of a doctor who bought a cord of wood that kept him warm all winter long, and then when spring came he sold that same wood again – so he had heat for free.

  “That’s pretty clever,” our young leader said, “but we haven’t time for more of this.”

  “All right,” said my friend and companion, “then everyone who doesn’t understand one of these riddles should send a note to the one who proposed it, and I’m sure he’ll be answered.”

  We said our grace then and arose from the table satisfied and cheerful rather than bloated – I wish it were the same at all such banquets and festivities. We strolled together a bit around the hall, and our mistress asked us if we’d like to begin now on the wedding celebrations. “Oh yes, let’s!” one of us cried, and she made a discreet signal to a page while continuing to chat with us.

  By now we were on such familiar terms that I dared to ask her name. She smiled at this sally, but she wasn’t offended, and she said: “My name21 contains fifty-five, but it only has eight letters. The third letter is one-third of the fifth letter, which if you add it to the sixth letter, will give you a number whose square root is more than the third letter by the amount of the first letter, and is half the fourth. The fifth letter and the seventh are equal, and so are the first and the last; and if you add to their number the number of the second letter, they are the same as the sixth letter, which contains just four more than three times the third. So, sir – what’s my name?”

  This was complicated enough, but I didn’t quit. “Noble lady, could I have the amount of just one letter?”

  “Well,” she said. “All right.”

  “What is the number of the seventh letter?”

  “The same as the number of gentlemen there are here.”

  That was enough for me, and I figured out her name easily, which pleased her; she said that much more would be revealed to us.

  A flock of her handmaidens22 had meantime got themselves ready and now came into the hall in a grand procession with music, with two young men carrying torches before them. One of the young men had a smiling face, pleasant features, well-made; the other looked truculent – whatever he wanted he insisted on getting, I would learn. Of the four maidens that followed them, one came in with eyes lowered, very humble; the second, bashful too; but the third seemed alarmed by what she saw, as though she couldn’t bear to be where there was so much fun being had – and that would prove to be so too. The fourth brought in bunches of flowers, to show her kindness and generosity.

  After them came in two more, a little more grandly dressed – one in a sky-colored robe spangled with gold stars, the other’s green and striped with red and white. They wore light floaty scarves or veils on their heads, which I thought were very pretty. Lastly came one all by herself, with a coronet on her head, and her eyes lifted to heaven. We all thought this must be the bride, but no, we were mistaken – in rank and wealth and position, though, she actually surpassed the bride, and all eyes would turn to her throughout the Wedding. We followed our lady and went and knelt before this person, but she was very humble and offered us her hands, telling us not to be amazed – it was the least she could give us. We should raise our eyes to our Creator instead, and acknowledge his power, and go on as we had begun – use this grace she had granted us to give praise to God and do good to others. She spoke so differently from our lady, who was more worldlywise! Her words went right into me. “And you,” she said, speaking directly to me. “You have received more than others. See that you give more in return too!”

  Actually though, this sermonizing did seem a little out of place, since we’d seen the girls and heard the music, and expected dancing would be next. But no, it wasn’t the time for that. The weights which had been used before were still on the red-draped table where they had been first displayed, and the duchess (as I’
d learn the grandest of the ladies was titled) told each of the young girls to pick up one of them. Then she pointed to the last and heaviest of the weights. “You may lift mine,” she said to our lady. “And all follow me.”

  Seeing her easily lift that great weight,23 our high opinion of ourselves was promptly brought down. It was obvious that our lady had been too kind to us and none of us was as special as she had let us think. We followed her into the next chamber, where she hung up the duchess’s weight, and a fine hymn was sung. There was nothing rich or precious in this room, only some well-made small prayer-books, which such a room should always have. The duchess knelt on the prie-dieu there, and we all knelt around her. Our mistress read a prayer from one of the books, which we repeated after her, that this wedding might be to the glory of God and our own benefit.

  In the next room, the first of the young girls hung up her weight, and then on into another and another until all the proper ceremonies were done. The duchess gave her hand to each of us again and went away with her handmaidens.

  Our lady president stayed on with us awhile. It had been dark now for two hours, and she didn’t want to keep us up – she was very glad to be with us, I thought, but at last she said good-night and reluctantly went away. Our pages knew what to do and conducted each of us to his room and remained with us there too in another bed, so as to be of service in case we needed anything. My own room (I can’t speak of the others’) was grandly furnished with tapestries and paintings, but I was most delighted with my page, who was so well-spoken and knowledgeable in all the arts; he spent another hour talking with me, and it was half past three when at last I fell asleep. This was my first night in the castle in a real bed, but a nasty dream I had kept me from peaceful sleep: I dreamed that there was a door I couldn’t open, couldn’t open, but at last I did. Much of the night was spent in these imaginings, until near daybreak I awoke.

  1 How the young lady knows who Christian is, and why she thinks he would have tried for a better spot, is unexplained, just as is the apparent foreknowledge of the gatekeepers of Christian’s coming. For one guess, see the last note of these notes.