The Promise

by S. L. Jayne

  “Okay, I’ll go but text me or call me if you get lonely and I’ll come straight back. See you in sixty minutes, I figured that sounds quicker than one hour,” she said with a laugh.

  I shook my head and let out a small laugh too. “You’re silly, I’m fine! Oh and tell Matt he doesn’t have to wait outside, I’m not mad at him I promise,” I gave her a warm smile so she can see I’m really not pissed anymore.

  “Okay I’ll tell him, and if he doesn’t listen I’ll kick his ass,” she called over her shoulder as she jogged to the front door.

  I put my feet up on the couch and laid back, I have had a long day at work and have seen enough emails today to last me a life time. I’m not sure what I would do if I worked in the department that deals with reading the books, I will do that eventually but right now I’m happy dealing with emails and setting up Mr Ashby’s meetings. That part of my job is new, I took on that role ten days ago.

  It has been twenty seven days since I pushed Ryan away from the hug and found out Reece had been seen out with another girl. I thought about it and I couldn’t get totally upset about him being out with another girl because even though he called me his girl a couple times we didn’t actually label anything. Deep down I realised it was the lies that upset me the most. When Rylee came home the night it all happened she went crazy at me for not texting her, I told her I hadn’t wanted to ruin her time with Matt as I’m proud of her for coming out of her shell more with him, slowly but surely. It’s one step at a time with her, Matt is doing great at keeping the right pace. Ryan is a different story. He has text me a few times since he begged Matt for my phone number, he was clever in a way, he had told Matt that he knew not to bother asking Rylee or Aimee as he would be told where to go.

  Staring at the ceiling I let my mind wander to how I’m feeling now I have had a few weeks of space, a few weeks more than Ryan wanted to give me but he gave me it anyway. I didn’t mind him texting but I couldn’t handle seeing him. I’m still confused, not about Reece or his games, because I haven’t seen or heard a thing from him since the night he walked away. This is about Ryan; it always comes down to Ryan. He didn’t do anything wrong that night he just came to give me his number, I may have overreacted slightly when in actual fact he had helped me realise that Reece was a liar and was probably only out to get in my panties. I rolled my eyes as the next thought enters my head; I’m the one that tells Rylee to have faith, to trust people and to believe; yet here I am feeling insecure over my feelings for him because I don’t want to get hurt, and I have spent the last three days over thinking whether or not Ryan Sanders could in fact be a changed man. I need to put my big girl panties on and face him and hear him out, not for his benefit but for mine. I pull my phone out of my pocket and begin typing a message to Ryan, I can already feel the nerves building.

  Me: Hi Ryan, I’m not sure what to say right now but I’ve been thinking and I’m ready to talk if you still want to. X

  I wasn’t even sure if he still wanted to talk, I have pushed him away on more than one occasion so I guess it would be justified if he told me he was done waiting around for my lame ass to get a grip. My nerves are in full force waiting for his reply, I keep looking at my phone willing it to light up; I just want to get this over with. Before I can think too much about him ignoring my message I hear the front door open and Rylee and Matt’s voices. Rylee offers Matt and I a drink as she walks into the kitchen, we both nod and say thanks.

  “Hey, Ava. How you feeling, babe?” Matt says as he sits down on the end of the couch.

  “Hey, I’m good thanks, winks,” I wanted to lighten the mood as I know Matt still thinks I’m mad at him for giving Ryan my number.

  “That’s great. I wanted to say sorry-”

  I held my hand up and cut him off before he finishes his sentence.

  “I don’t want another apology from you, Matt. I’m not mad at you, I think I was more pissed at Ryan for bringing my friends into it and putting you in that situation.”

  Matt moved over when Rylee brought the drinks in, she handed them to us and sat down on the other side of Matt.

  “I know, but I wanted to make sure you knew my reason. I’d have told him where to go but I got the feeling he was a genuine guy and hearing him talk about you the way he did and hearing the desperation in his voice was kind of sickening, all he wanted to do was to make sure he hadn’t screwed things up with you. I’m good at judging people Ava, it’s what I’ve gotten used to doing. I think you should hear him out, but that’s just my opinion,” he said with a smile.

  “I know, I’ve text him to tell him I’m ready to talk, I’m just nervous because I have no idea what he’s going to say and he has no idea I’ve had a crush on him nearly my whole life. I’ve watched him being the biggest douchebag to girls and witnessed Mr- Player in action at parties so I’m a little wary of believing him,” I sigh.

  Matt nods letting me know he understands as Rylee leans across him to talk to me, resting her hand on my leg. “You’re doing the right thing, sweetie, you need to hear him out for your own sanity if nothing else. Trust me, it’s hard to grasp but I have kind of realised that you were right about the closure thing you mentioned once but that story can wait, it’s about you right now and it’s my turn to tell you to have a little faith,” she said with a big grin on her face.

  I draw my eyebrows in and look at her suspiciously. What the hell? She’s being cryptic again like she was before when she said she had talked to Matt. We need a girly night, stat!

  Matt finished his drink and stood up turning to face me. “That’s my cue, I’ll leave you girls to talk. Ava, I’m always here for you, I’m here for you both I would kick any guy’s ass for you and Rylee but I have a feeling you don’t need my help with this one.”

  His eyes went to Rylee. “And you, I’ll see you soon, gorgeous, I’ll text you,” he said with a wink.

  I saw something in Rylee’s eyes as she nodded, I’m not sure what it was. When Matt turned to walk out I saw a slight blush creep up on Rylee’s face. I felt my heart jump when I heard my phone alert me of a text message, I pick up the phone and look at it cautiously; I know it’s going to be Ryan and I’m suddenly expecting the worst.

  Ryan: I’m sorry I didn’t reply straight away baby, I put my phone on silent when I took a conference call. Of course I still want to talk, I’ll come over in an hour if you’re free? Xxxx

  Without putting too much thought into it I type a quick reply.

  Me: That’s okay, I understand. I’m free, see you then x

  I looked up from my phone to see Rylee staring at me. “Was that Ryan? What did he say? Is he coming to talk?” She said quickly.

  “Yeah he will be here in an hour, but first I want you to spill about your talks with Matt and don’t tell me there is nothing to say because I saw the way you looked at each other and friends don’t look at each other like that!” I said with a smirk.

  Rylee turned to face me but had a blank expression. “I don’t know what to tell you because I’m not even sure myself, we have gotten close and we have talked, Matt’s deeper than his tattoos and hot smile. I got another request from Conner at the gym the other night and I kind of freaked out in front of him.”

  My mouth fell open. “Why didn’t you tell me, Ry? What did Matt say?”

  She shrugged her shoulder and started fiddling with her pendant. “I didn’t tell you because you have enough to deal with and it was nothing, I accepted Conner’s request this time though because I have a feeling something isn’t right, I don’t know what but it’s just my gut instinct. I didn’t tell Matt who Connor was, just that I have mom issues, I didn’t mention him, and he cryptically told me he knows how I feel but said it’s different for him and the only advice he would give me is to talk to her because if one day she wasn’t around to ask questions to then I’ll regret it. That’s what made me think about the closure thing you mentioned.”

  I didn’t know what to say about the Matt thing because that’s his bus
iness and he’ll tell Rylee when he’s ready, maybe they have more in common than any of us realised.

  “I know I’ve been distracted a lot lately and I’m really sorry, Ry, but I promise I’ll pay more attention.”

  Rylee rolled her eyes at me. “I’m not made of glass, Ava, I can handle Conner. You need to sort Ryan out and then you can help with my stack of issues.”

  I shook my head and picked my phone up to check the time, it’s almost eight o’clock Ryan will be here in around fifteen minutes.

  Rylee looked at me with a small smile on her lips. “He’ll be here soon, won’t he? I’m taking your car, I’ll meet Matt at the bar for a bit to get out of the way.”

  I nodded at her. “Thanks, sweetie, and don’t think I have forgotten our chat from last week either; I’m going to buy you a car whether you like it or not. No arguments.”

  “No Ava! I told you, we went over this for four freaking hours, I don’t want your money and with the car you want to buy me I’ll be dead before I can afford to pay you back.”

  I started laughing and shook my head. “Okay fine, I’ll buy you a different one and you can pay me back in twenty years.”

  She let out a big sigh as she grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter. “Whatever, Ava. Two things, don’t be a complete bitch to Ryan, and if you need me text me straight away.”

  I heard her laugh as she walked out the door.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ryan has been here for fifteen minutes and I have done everything I can to avoid starting the talk, I’ve made drinks, took two bathroom breaks and even asked him if he’s enjoyed today’s weather! I’m pacing the kitchen right now acting like a nervous school girl and need to calm myself down.

  “Ava, come and sit with me please, you don’t have to talk- just listen to me… please.”

  I heard Ryan’s deep voice and that was all it took to weaken me again, this man really has me all tied up in knots; He can piss me off in a split second and then melt me down with a simple smile or a few words straight after. Rylee’s words from our first movie night here came back to me; “You let them in your head and ‘bam’ you’re done, you lose control.” Yep, she has a point. I have to stay in control, I can do this. Taking a big breath in I walk through to the living room and sit down next to Ryan on the couch turning to face him as I bring my legs up under me. He is studying my face, his deep brown eyes are soft but searching for something and I can see his eyebrows twitching as he tries not to give too much away. I think he is trying to read me, but I’m not sure.

  “I’m okay now, go ahead I’m listening,” I said putting a smile on my face to assure him I’m fine.

  He nodded his head and smiled at me. Now I am closer to him and I’m not distracted by arguing with him I can see the slight dimple in his cheek that has always been there when he smiles, it’s one of the many things that made him so cute back in third grade and so damn sexy by high school. I felt a smile creep up on my lips.

  “What are you smiling at?” He said as he cocked his head still studying me.

  Crap! Did I mention I need to be in control?

  I rolled my eyes and laughed, hoping I could brush it off and lighten the atmosphere that is lingering around us.

  “Oh nothing, just something I remembered. Get talking, Sanders!”

  He shook his head holding his hands up at me and smirked. “Whatever you say. Promise me you’re going to hear me out, no interrupting or stopping me until I’ve finished.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, he knows what I’m like with promises that is why he is doing it.

  “Yes, I promise,” I said with the sweetest smile I could muster up.

  “What? I don’t get to hold your pinky?” He said as he full on smiled.

  “Don’t be a wiseass, Ryan. Talk!” I said, genuinely smiling this time.

  The atmosphere has gone and although I’m still nervous and slightly anxious as to what he is going to say, I’m ready to hear it.

  Ryan shifted in his seat turning to face me. Although I was waiting for it he didn’t try to touch me, he ran his hand through his hair and now I am positive that is what he does when he is nervous, it’s not the first time he has done that before talking to me.

  “Remember, no interrupting. I need to get it all out,” he said seriously.

  My nerves are building again, he doesn’t have to worry about me interrupting him because right now I can’t do anything but nod at him.

  He licked his lips and let out a big breath that I didn’t even realize he was holding. “Okay, beautiful, I’m gonna start from the beginning. I was an ass, a jerk, a douche, I was everything you ever called me- I know that now, hell I knew it back then too but I wasn’t honest with you about how I felt because I was a pussy and I was scared of rejection, and I knew those girls wouldn’t have shot me down so I went with them to try make you jealous instead and-“

  I cut him off.

  “What?! Ryan, seriously? You want me to sit here and listen to how you made me feel like shit on purpose?!” I shouted.

  He has to be freaking kidding me, I’m not listening to this. Now I know why he made me promise!

  Asshat!

  I start to get up from the couch but he is quicker than me and pulls me back down. Keeping his hand in mine he lifts his other hand to my face placing his thumb under my chin to gently turn my head to face him.

  “Look at me, beautiful. I’m sorry, I should have known not to start there and that it wouldn’t make sense and you’d take it the wrong way then flip out. Let me finish, please,” he pleaded as he stared into my eyes.

  My eyes dropped to my lap. Maybe I did jump to the wrong conclusions, maybe he did start at the wrong part of the story or maybe I was just expecting the worst all along so as soon as he mentioned the way he used to be I instantly wanted to bolt for the door. All these maybes- maybe I do need to take my own advice and have a little faith. I dragged my eyes back up to his and nodded at him.

  “Thank you. Please don’t freak out, I need to get it all out so you understand why I acted the way I did. I tried making you jealous in the hope that you would scream and shout at me and tell me how you felt about me so I would know if telling you was the right thing to do, you have to understand that I didn’t think you liked me in that way, babe- even back in elementary school you were kinda mean to me.” He let out a chuckle and continued. “I have always liked you, I think I loved you before I even knew what a crush was- the minute I saw you I knew you were going to be an amazing girl and I still remember you blushing around me in third grade. I was a total dick for using those girls to piss you off to get a reaction, but I couldn’t just tell you how I felt about you because I knew you’d never believe me and think I was just trying to get into your panties. The night we had sex was the best night of my life, Ava, I thought for sure that you’d know how I felt about you- but you didn’t. The promise hit me like a freight train and after that night I hardly hooked up with any girls for over a year.”

  He paused and ran his hand through his hair again. My heart is racing and my mind is spinning from his words, I’m so glad he isn’t looking at me for some input because I still can’t form words.

  “I love you, Ava, and I’d never in a million years set out to hurt you. What I did was selfish and I regret not manning up and telling you, I regret it every damned day- that’s why I asked you to stay when you were leaving, I knew my shitty plan had failed and I had upset you. Ava, beautiful, the day you walked away from me you took my heart with you, so I had to follow you here. My dad offered to relocate me to the Sanders & Sons office here and I jumped at the chance because I had to tell you that you had it. I wanted to prove to you that I can be the guy you deserve, baby, I’ll show you I’ve changed,” his voice was full of conviction and he looked at me with a small smile on his lips.

  My heart melted and my cheeks got warmer. I’m a little speechless still, I know he’s waiting for my response to him baring his heart to me. I need to be honest with him and my
self.

  “Wow, I’m kind of speechless, Ryan. I wasn’t expecting that, I mean, yeah I was maybe expecting you to explain about how you used to be but damn I don’t know what to say,” I closed my eyes and shook my head, hoping to clear the fog and find the right words.

  I opened my eyes to find Ryan still staring at me.

  “Okay, here goes. I’m going to try and remember everything you said. I have always liked you too, Ryan, I have crushed on you since third grade, I’m sorry I was mean to you sometimes but you laughed at me when I blushed! I didn’t tell you how I felt either and maybe I should have but I just couldn’t, I was so different to all the girls I was used to seeing you with. I couldn’t risk being played by you, it would have hurt too much, and I don’t think I’d have ever survived it. I had to protect my heart even if being with you was something I had dreamed about since I was six years old.” I let out a sigh and swallowed hard before continuing. “I had no idea how you felt until that night you asked me to stay and I’m sorry for not staying and letting you prove it to me, but you have to understand that I had to go. I wasn’t running from you, I wasn’t running from anything- I was sticking to my promise to my best friend. I want to believe you that you won’t hurt me but I’m scared, Ryan, I have always believed in true love and all that stuff that makes Rylee turn green, but what if I’m not enough for you, what if you get bored after a week? I have my doubts and I’m sorry for that but I can’t just say “sure we’ll be together and live happily ever after” when the Ryan I know doesn’t even believe in the day after let alone ever after,” I said as I kept my eyes locked on his.

  He nodded faintly. I had to tell him about my doubts, I had to be honest. I couldn’t remember everything he had said, I tried to focus on the main things. I do love him and I do want to believe him, I’m kicking myself right now for even having a shadow of a doubt.

  Without saying a word Ryan leaned forward and pulled me into his lap, I sat straddled over him as he wrapped his arm around me and brought his free hand up to my neck to gently guide my head down to his level, he moved his head slightly so his mouth was next to my ear.