On Clipped Wings
Page 2
caring or loving thought for what I am experiencing. Sadly, Alexander, you turned out to be such a disappointment to me. It is always so painful to me when one of my highest creations gives into the very real human flaw of ego."
"Father," Alexander said in a desperate tone. "I'm begging you. Please don't do this to me. I see now just how serious you are and I ask for your forgiveness. Please, let's just go back home to Heaven and put this all behind us. I completely understand why you are displeased with me. My behavior was reprehensible and it will never happen again. Now, please allow me to have my wings back and return to Heaven with you."
"I am truly sorry, Alexander," the man said regretfully. "That's simply not possible anymore."
"What do you mean it's not possible?" Alexander bellowed. "You are who you are! With you, anything is possible!"
His father smiled. "And that will be your mission, Alexander, to learn why with me, anything is possible. Do not continue to argue. This is something you are never going to win."
He began to sob. Did it have to be like this? Did he have to be punished this way? I dont want to be human. I want to go back to where I belong! To heaven!
"And isn't that what everybody wants... except the plants and the trees... the ignorant animals? They never knew. Humans have a clue. But angels... and you, Alexander. You knew. You've known since the beginning of your existence that there is a heaven. But your attitude has been abysmal. What you just said about me is what humans say to themselves every day to keep going. They are never a hundred percent sure. But you are, because you knew. Humans don't have the advantages angels have. All they have is resilience and faith. This breaks my heart, my son. You, have all the power, and the strength. Now, you are weak. And now, you will have to learn the way to be exalted again."
"Father... I will do everything... I will. I will obey. But please forgive me... please..."
"Oh, Alexander, you already are forgiven. But it doesn't exempt you from the Law."
He nodded vigorously. "I know... I know. But the journey will be less hard with your forgiveness and your love."
Alexander felt the gentle touch of the Father on his cheek. "It's something you will always have, Alexander, no matter what you do. You are my son... and I am your father. I will always be here."
"T-Thank you. Thank you." He took the hand and kissed it. And he felt a sense of peace, or almost like it, when the hand passed on his eyes to bless him.
And his tears stopped. He felt strong again.
5.
AND then, the Father's voice was all business again.
"Now... everything you need to become a part of the human society is in those two bags over there. You will find all the proof you need for your identity, some changes of clothes, shoes, and plenty of money to open a bank account. This money can be used to buy a new home as well as start a business or whatever you choose to do. So you see, I haven't totally abandoned you. Few humans have all of this handed to them at the beginning of their new lives, unless provided by their father. And I provide all these for you. I might as well to." The father sighed. "Life is hard enough without you having to find food to eat and a house to live in without money to spend. You'll have more things to accomplish without a rumbling stomach," he grumbled, which made Alexander clutch his stomach as he realized why it was acting that way.
For the first time, he felt hunger. For food. Alexander was stunned into silence as another of those pains sliced through the middle of his stomach. He grimaced as he clutched his body.
"That pain you are currently experiencing is called hunger. Humans deal with this several times a day, every day if they don't eat food on a regular basis. You're going to have to start learning what best to eat to help keep your physical well-being healthy and strong. But for now, you can eat this." A paper bag was handed to him and when he opened this, a smell that could only be described as heavenly wafted from inside. To his utter embarrassment, his mouth began to water. "What is this?" he asked as he took items of food from inside.
The Father shrugged. "Humans call it fastfood because it can be acquired very fast. There is hamburger in there, and the fried potatoes are are called French Fries. There is a bottle of water and a bottle of fruit juice. I thought you needed meat right away."
He started to eat and he finished the one called hamburger swiftly and was eating the strips of fried heaven while drinking the juice as fast. He was holding the bottle of water and suddenly, the bleakness of his life wherein he would have to stop and eat food several times a day to stay alive hit him. He would be dependent on... things. How was that called living?
"I cannot believe this," Alexander whispered. "How can you simply leave me here like this?"
"As I said, Alexander, you have much to learn about compassion for those less fortunate than you. Your appalling opinion regarding the humans must change and the only way to do that is to live among them as one yourself. I could, of course, simply use this as a warning to you, but I already know that would not accomplish what is needed. You must completely understand how difficult it is to live as a human so that you may fully comprehend just how special and strong these creatures are."
"I don't particularly feel strong right now, Father. I feel... hopeless. How can I live like this?"
"What? Not perfect?"
"No. In darkness!"
"But how will you find the inclination to change and find your way from the darkness into the light if you are already in the light? I do not expect you to ever attain the level of love and caring that I have for my humans, but I do expect you to learn how to care about them to the extent that an angel would."
"I still do not understand," Alexander said dejectedly.
That wasn't exactly true, though. He actually was starting to understand the seriousness of his situation and just how much trouble he was in.
6.
HE would be left here in this terrible place, in this imperfect body with its terrible needs. He was going to have to live in a house and mingle with the humans here on Earth. A different kind of discomfort made itself known and he realized with horror that he would also need to use the room they called toilet to ease this other need several times a day, too. He was going to live like an animal, and the only difference was he knew it. Dogs, cats, the animals never did.
As he was struck into silence by his terrible thoughts, the Father approached him again and put his hand on his shoulder. He looked down at him with an expression of intense love, and hope.
"I know that you feel very sad and frightened right now, my son, but this is how it must be. Can you argue against this truth?"
He had to shake his head because he knew there was nothing he could say to negate this. He had put himself in this situation. Now, he had to suffer from it.
"No, not suffer. You are only going to live as a human. How hard could it be?"
"Father..." he had to say. "I have been very stupid, wasn't I?"
"Oh no. You did what a son does eventually – you question your father. It just means it's time for you to fly!"
Alexander could honestly find no positive answer to the Father's teasing, and it seemed the Father did not expect him to because he continued without pause.
"You will find that you have everything you will ever want in your journey. And I will never be far away and anytime you need Me, you can simply pray to Me and I will hear you. At some point in the future, when you are more settled in as a human, I will contact you and let you know what your special calling will be."
"My what?" Alexander said as he looked up at his Father.
"Your special calling. I will explain it all when the time comes. For now, adjust to living in your new body and to what it requires. Pay attention to your instincts and you will adjust much more quickly. I must leave you now, my son. Be sure to get something more to eat and then rest. You may want to use that device there. It is called a telephone. You use it by looking up the places you wish to contact in that large book there. There is a list of restaurants there
in the yellow section. Choose whatever food you want and have it delivered here to you. The address of your location is right here on this stationary. Your room number is 333." He must have the most pitiful expression on his face because when the Father turned to him, He looked about ready to hug him. And it was a mark of how desperate his situation was when he thought that wasn't such a bad idea! "Don't worry. You will figure it out. I have faith in you."
"Wait," Alexander cried as he grabbed his Father's hand. "I have so many questions and no answers! Please don't leave me here yet."
"I am sorry, Alexander, but I have stayed far too long as it is. You have been given the tools to learn what you need to know. Use them and, in no time, you will feel at home with the humans just as if you were born as one. I love you, Alexander."
Then, the Father was gone.
7.
ALEXANDER closed his eyes and allowed the full horror of his situation wash over him. Why, oh why had he been so arrogant? He knew they were his Father's most favored and yet, he couldn't seem to leave them alone.
If he truly thought about it, he would admit to being jealous of how much his Father cared for these humans. The jealousy came from knowing he was, indeed, superior to these weaklings and that his Father simply refused to acknowledge that fact. The beginning of the end for him was when he started thinking the Father blind.
Just then, a loud noise erupted from outside, startling Alexander. It also annoyed him – he particularly did not like jumping violently to harmless sounds. What was going on out there anyway? Probably some stupid human activity. They were such loud, obnoxious creatures, after all.
How was he ever going to get through this? He thought about simply lying back down and trying to sleep but that uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was getting worse instead of going away. That had to be dealt with before he could even think of doing anything else.
He went to the bathroom. And after managing that, he actually felt better. He thought if he could survive a toilet bowl, he probably could survive another few of those hamburgers.
Reaching for the book of numbers that his Father had pointed out, he flipped through the pages. It seemed that he had been granted the ability to read as part of his humanity. Hopefully, he would soon learn how to navigate this contraption that Father had called a telephone...
8.
SEVERAL weeks later, Alexander stood on the lawn of the enormous castle-like structure he had just decided to purchase as his home.
His Father had not lied to him about leaving him with enough money to do as he needed. This 19th century castle had caught his attention while he was out practicing his new-found skill, driving, in the countryside. He had wasted no time in contacting Vilma Ramirez, the real estate agent who handled the listing.
Once he had met with Vilma, she had all but curtsied before him when he told her the house he wanted to see. She had become a preening, quivering mass of submission when he asked her who he needed to make out the check to in order to purchase this home. It got even more interesting when he told her that he would be paying cash. He was actually a bit worried for her because she looked about ready to faint from shock.
By now, Alexander had written his check, signed the necessary documents, and was handed the keys to this amazing place. Something about it made him feel like... like he was going the right direction. He wasn't sure what it was, but this was the first place that he had felt completely comfortable in since he had become a Fallen.
Yes, he thought as he nodded. This will do nicely.
In no time, he had made negotiations on what furniture in the home he would be keeping and what he would be selling. Next, he contacted an interior decorator who had come highly recommended to him. However, after speaking with the