The Girl Called Ella Dessa: Will she ever be cherished for the inner beauty beneath her scars?

by Karen Campbell Prough

  “A true God-fearing woman,” Inez said in agreement. “The best in these parts.”

  Grace nodded. “It’s too bad she and Leigh never had children, but I guess God’s blessed them with Torrin and Brody—if one can call it a blessing.”

  As they laughed about the antics of the twins, they headed outside to the warm sunshine. A mixture of blankets and quilts added multi-colored square and rectangular patterns to the layers of crimson, orange, and yellow leaves under the maples and oaks. It completed a perfect presentation of God’s handiwork—woven together with the talents of the backwoods women.

  Ella took a deep breath and paused. Oh, Mama, you’d love this.

  The women gathered in small groups and opened baskets, all the while laughing and talking. The sunlight streaked through the leaf-thinned branches of the trees and brought to life the mingled colors. The women sat with widespread skirts, adding muted colors of gray, beige, and brown. The scene was perfect and complete.

  “Ella Dessa?” Grace faced her, a slight frown of disquiet between her deep brown eyes. “Your expression changed. Are you sad?”

  “No, not sad.” She broke away from the spell of wonderment and smiled. “It’s all too beautiful to be sad. With all the colors and bright sun, I figger it’s what heaven’s like. So I thought of Mama.”

  As they set the basket on the crushed grass and unfolded the thick blanket, she spied a dark-haired man riding toward them on a brown and white spotted horse. He followed a rutted path across the wide grassy field separating the Chesley cabin from the church.

  He reined in and asked, “Have you ladies seen a beautiful brown-haired gal, who’s looking for a handsome man to wed?”

  Peals of feminine laughter and teasing comments filled the air. Grace blushed almost as red as the leaves scattered under her feet. As he dismounted, she wasted no time in running to his side. She ignored the women behind her, raised her face, and accepted his possessive kiss and encircling arms. Many of the young women clapped in appreciation while older women gasped.

  “I hope that’s her husband to be.” Ella giggled behind her hand.

  “He is.” Inez watched her daughter and the slender man walk toward them. “He’s special. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen or talked to a more godly young man. He came to these mountains with a dream of teaching backwoods children. You know he plans to start a school here in the cove? There’s talk he’ll use the church building. He has an uncle who’s backing him with supplies.”

  “Yes, I heard. Scott wants to attend.” Ella didn’t voice her own longings about school.

  “Samuel thinks he’s wonderful and wants to study under him— instead of me.”

  Grace and Konrad stopped nearby to speak to Rebecca Foster.

  “Will that bother you?” Ella deliberately kept her voice low.

  “Oh, dear me, no. Samuel has an overwhelming urge to advance his studies and become a teacher himself.”

  “He’ll make a fun teacher.”

  Inez sat, adjusted her long skirt, and patted the striped blanket. “Come, sit with me.”

  The two of them watched Grace and the teacher talk to Rebecca. “Rebecca’s so pretty.” Ella felt a touch of envy.

  Inez leaned forward to whisper, “Did you know Rebecca’s in the family way?”

  “I heard.”

  “I think her baby will be born about the same time as Velma’s.”

  “Her little one, Zeb, is cute.” She noted how Rebecca’s skirt front showed a rounding, the same as Velma’s did. Her thoughts flashed to the birth of Mama’s baby and a shudder crossed her shoulders. “I hope both her and Velma—” She stopped, unable to finish her sentence.

  “You hope she and Velma have no problems during the birthing. I understand your concerns. Does it bother you living with Velma because of that?”

  “No.” She shook her head, not willing to tell Inez about nightmares of delivering another baby without Granny in attendance. She smiled and pointed. “Here comes Grace.”

  The engaged couple, fingers intertwined, came toward them.

  “Ella Dessa, I’d like to introduce you to Konrad Strom, the man to whom I’m betrothed.” Grace’s face glowed and love lit her astonishing brown eyes. She pulled him down with her, to sit on the blanket.

  Feeling shy, Ella held her hand out to the man. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m happy to meet you.” His fingers felt warm as he took her hand and lightly squeezed it. “I was told you recently lost your mother. I wish to tell you how sorry I am. I was one of those who did not make it to the burying.” His deep blue eyes accented his thin face, dark eyebrows, and hair. The shadow of a heavy beard showed on his face, and dimples in his cheeks spoke of a sense of humor.

  “Thank you.” She forced herself to keep her head up, even though she feared he could see her vivid scars.

  She felt relieved when the conversation turned to the food Inez had prepared. She watched Grace interact with Konrad and noticed a flush of elevated color made the young woman’s face intensify in radiance.

  “Shall we ask the Lord’s blessing?” Inez smiled at her future son-in-law. “Konrad, would you mind?”

  “Not at all.” He reached for Grace’s hand and bowed his head. “Our Heavenly Father, we wish to thank you for this food spread before us and for all the women who have come together to bless Grace and me with a wedding remembrance. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Grace whispered. She smiled and clung to his hand.

  Having never witnessed a man and woman who had pledged themselves to be married, Ella found herself enthralled by the whole idea. Konrad seemed so in love with her friend. She couldn’t imagine him ever raising his hand to hurt a woman. His kind eyes never left Grace’s face and lips when she spoke or passed a piece of the rabbit and onion pie.

  “The wedding is fast approaching.” Inez lifted soft and lightly-browned triangles of squash out of the picnic basket and offered them to everyone. They were still in the skins and easy to handle. “Grace and I have much to do and plan. Konrad, how’s the cabin coming?”

  “The logs are cut. I have the land cleared. Leigh’s talking to the men. The weather’s been good, and we hope to raise the walls next week. The cabin won’t be huge. But it’ll be ours.”

  “I think it’ll be wonderful.” Grace’s elated smile lit her gorgeous face. “Perhaps, we’ll have time to decorate?”

  “Grace, you may have to decorate after the wedding, honey. I’m sorry for the delay.” Konrad’s hand brushed a loose strand of hair from her cheek, his fingers slow and infinitely gentle.

  “I’m not fretting. We’ll have fun doing it together, and I’m sure Mother will help. I’ve finished the needlepoint on curtains for the two windows we planned. My wedding dress still has extra stitching and gathers to be done on the front.” Grace blushed and dropped her gaze to her lap.

  “I look forward to seeing it,” Konrad murmured.

  Grace gave a self-conscious giggle and glanced toward her mother, but Inez was lifting a pie from the basket.

  “Mrs. McKnapp, this food is superb.” Konrad accepted a handheld piece of sweet potato pie from Inez. “I long for good meals, but don’t get them very often.” He bit into the pie and winked at Grace. “Now, in the future, I hope to get plenty of home cooking.”

  Inez smiled. “Grace is a good cook. Here, eat more. It’ll save me carrying it home.”

  “I’ve about had my fill.” He leaned sideways and wiped his fingers on the grass. “It’s wonderful. You know, I’ve been camping out at the home location—in a wagon my uncle gave me.”

  “Grace informed me of that,” Inez replied. “You gave up your room here with Naomi and Leigh. Staying in a wagon must be chilly, especially at night, now that the weather’s changing.”

  “Ah, the wagon’s snug. It’s got an oiled top over it. Just no fireplace.” He grinned and touched Grace’s arm. “But I’m right where I can work on our land and house, when not sorting through books for the school. My
uncle—you’ll meet him at the wedding—is providing the initial school supplies. He has the means and the desire to do so. This hidden-away community here in the cove will be blessed to benefit from his generosity.”

  Inez nodded. “He must be a wonderful person.”

  “Indeed. He filled a very big void in my life after a falling tree killed my father. I never knew my mother. She died giving birth to me. He’s her brother.”

  Ella kept her gaze on Konrad, even though she felt Grace’s gentle eyes turn in her direction and search her expression. She knew the young woman felt concern Konrad’s talk of his dead mother would upset her.

  “I’m so sorry to hear you have lost both parents,” Inez murmured. “When will the school commence?”

  “I plan to start classes at the church right after the first of the year, if the winter is mild. From what I understand, eight children are interested. I think the number will grow. I also realize it’ll be a short school year, but it will be beneficial to the students. Is Samuel still interested in attending?”

  “Samuel has talked to his father. We’re willing.”

  “Good. I hope he’ll take over teaching the more immature children by next fall. I think he’s capable. It will be good experience for Samuel. I’ve spent time with him, finding out how advanced he is. You’ve done a wonderful job teaching all your children.” Again, he winked at Grace. “Including the one I’m marrying. I love her voice. She even sang for me.”

  Grace laughed and visibly relaxed. She leaned close to him, her chin alongside his shoulder. “You better keep saying things like that after we’re married.”

  “I intend to.” With his thumb, he wiped a tiny smear of sweet potato from her bottom lip.

  Ella slowly munched on her piece of pie. She kept her eyes riveted on the betrothed couple. The food was good, but the privilege of being included in the small intimate group filled her heart with serene delight. Wiggling, she scooted closer to Grace. She felt grown-up and a part of a real family—as if her pa’s rejection had never occurred.

  In her mind, she tried to imagine how it must feel to have a man fall in love with you. She watched Konrad’s face and drank in the inflection in his deep voice. She felt heady with anticipation that someday she might meet a man who’d love her. At the edge of her thoughts, Jim McKnapp’s smiling face floated.

  Inez gestured over her shoulder. “Oh, dear. We’re still chatting and most of the women have gone inside. Grace, we must join them.” She rose on her knees to pack the leftovers but handed the basket to Konrad. “Here, take this with you.”

  “Thank you. I’ll enjoy it tonight for my supper.” He bounded to his feet and assisted Inez, before offering his hand to Grace.

  Ella stood and brushed crumbs and a stray pine needle from her skirt.

  Konrad turned toward her. “Ella Dessa, I’m glad we met. Perhaps, you’d be interested in coming to school as well?”

  School? She never considered it a possibility.

  “I—I don’t know,” she stammered. She kept her eyes on the leaf-strewn ground.

  Inez patted her shoulder. “I think it’s an outstanding suggestion.”

  “But, I …” Her eyes traveled over the older woman’s face. She yearned for the chance at an education, but didn’t see how it could happen. She detected a flicker of inspiration in Inez’s eyes.

  “I think it could work out, even if you did most of your school work at Velma’s and attended class when you got the chance.” She turned to Konrad. “Ella Dessa is now living with Velma Clanders, helping her with the children while the husband is away. Plus, there will be another child born in about five months or less.”

  “You look like a smart girl,” Konrad said.

  Ella squirmed with embarrassment.

  “I bet Samuel could bring you lessons after school—so you could study, even if you don’t attend.” He smiled at his future mother-in-law. “Of course, that’d be with the permission of Samuel’s mother.”

  Inez linked her arm through Ella’s bent elbow. “I think you’ve found an answer to the situation. I’m sure Samuel wouldn’t mind dropping by Velma’s and giving Ella Dessa the lessons. She’ll be a good student, and I know she’ll learn fast.”

  “Mama taught me.” Ella’s words burst from her mouth. “I can read and do figuring. I read her Bible.”

  Konrad snapped his fingers. “Excellent! One day, when you’re free, I could help you with testing. We’ll see where you are—as far as grade level.”

  “I’d like that.” Her heart hammered in her chest. She wanted to jump up and shout, but she controlled her response and succeeded in acting calm. She felt a blossom of hope in her soul. She always wished to go to school, but her pa had laughed at her and told her school wasn’t for females.

  Inez took her hand. “Let’s get back to sewing.”

  While seated back at the quilting frame, she found it hard to concentrate on the repetitious stitches. Her mind whirled over the possibility of schooling. Her mama would be proud of her. She wanted to toss aside her needle and thread, flee up the mountain, and kneel beside the grave.

  She wiped at a betraying tear, blinked, and bent closer to the handwork. In and out, in and out went the needle, but in her mind she knelt under the pines with her knees against the tiny rocks and pebbles.

  Mama, I might get some schoolin’.

  *******

  When Ella Dessa stepped into Velma’s quiet cabin, it was late afternoon and shadows stroked the woods. All that remained in the fireplace was dark coals and faint warmth.

  “Velma?”

  No one answered.

  A slight noise caused her to walk toward the bed. In the dusky light, she could see Mae and Rosemary cuddled against their mama’s relaxed body. Rosemary sucked on her thumb, but it was the only sound heard in the cabin. She tiptoed past the end of the bed and leaned closer. The pregnant woman seemed to be asleep, her pale face drawn and pinched about the mouth.

  Ella moved away and climbed the ladder. “Remy, you up here? Scott?” The dark, cramped loft was empty. She backed down the ladder and ran outside.

  The air held a decided chill. The scent of a skunk drifted over the open field to the left of the cabin. A faint sound reached her ears. A child’s voice cried out, making Ella’s stomach lurch.

  “Scott? Where are you?” She turned in circles and scanned the darkened edge of the woods, as thoughts of a wolf came to mind. Nothing moved. “Carrie?” She sprinted for the barn. “Scott, answer me. Remy?”

  She pulled the heavy door open and stopped in horror. Above her head, Carrie sat on a thick, hand-squared beam crossing the center of the small log barn. The girl’s hands clutched the beam on either side of her thighs. Her short shift had hiked up on her skinny legs.

  Scott and Remy stood beneath Carrie. Both spun to face Ella.

  “She won’t come down.” Scott gritted his teeth. “I been beggin’. She’s so stupid.”

  With her heart in her throat, Ella spoke quietly. “Carrie, what you doin’?”

  A narrow wooden ladder told her how the short girl got to that height and position. Carrie’s cloth doll, a beloved toy she’d never willingly abandon, lay on the packed clay floor. Its body, minus any clothes or bonnet, sprawled with its limbs widespread.

  Remy sobbed and rubbed at his red face, which showed streaks of grime and tears. “She wants to die ‘cause Mama told her we’re gettin’ a new baby.” His six-year-old voice quavered as he hunched his shoulders and bowed his head. “She might bleed if she falls.”

  “Shh.” Ella tucked him close under her arm. “Let me think.” Then looking up, she pleaded, “Carrie? Carrie, won’t you come down? I’ll help you. It’s gettin’ dark. So, we gotta go in and eat. Are you hungry?” She motioned to the barefooted child. “Scoot sideways.”

  Scott leaned close. “She ain’t hearin’ you. She wants to jump. She thinks Pappy will come home ‘cause of the baby. I don’t know why she came in here. She hates the barn. Pappy whips her in h
ere.” He rattled on, his own nervousness showing in his fast-talking. “He whips her hard. We hear her cry an’ squeal like a hurt rabbit. She makes him mad.”

  “Shh, Scott. Let me think.” She took a deep breath and felt woozy with fear. “Carrie, look at me.”

  What was left of the daylight, coming in at the door, barely reached the beam.

  The girl’s dull expression didn’t change, but her lackluster hazel eyes shifted to Ella’s face. Without a word, she swung her legs out in front of her, then backward, rocking her thin body on the beam.

  “Carrie!” She hollered. “Don’t move!”

  Chapter 17

  Evening, October 8, 1836

  Ella pushed Remy toward his older brother. A clammy chill walked up her spine. Without taking her eyes from Carrie’s constant movement, she whispered, “Take Remy and go wake your mama. Tell her to come quick.”

  “I won’t do it. She’s not feelin’ good.”

  “Scott, don’t sass me. I need help. So, please, fetch her. Take your brother and stay with the girls. Don’t come back here.”

  She heard the boys leave the barn. The light faded in the barn and deepened the shadows. She wished she’d told Scott to send a lantern with his mama.

  “Carrie, please, sit still.”

  A distant owl gave one quavering call. The barn’s open expanse magnified the eerie sound.

  The little girl moaned and kicked harder, now lifting her hands from the beam and holding them above her lap. Her actions appeared wild and deliberate.

  “Stop!” Ella held her breath. She felt sure the momentum of Carrie’s kicks would lift the child’s body off the beam or toss her forward. “Don’t kick. Scoot on your bottom to the ladder. I’ll hold it for you. Hurry ‘fore you’re left up there all night. It’ll be dreadfully dark alone. It’ll be so pitch black, you ain’t goin’ to see a wolf, even if he chanced by the barn door.” Tears ran down her face.

  “I don’t like—the dark.”

  “Then come down.”