After I Fall

by Amity Hope

  I listened from inside of my bedroom door. I was met with silence. Either Mom had left, or Eric. As nervous as I was about facing him, I found myself hoping that it was Mom who had gone.

  I slowly pulled the door open and stepped out from the security of my bedroom.

  Eric was seated on the sofa. He rose to his feet when I entered the room.

  “Hey, Em,” he said.

  “How are things going?” I asked. I cringed at how strained the conversation was. It sounded like we were strangers, scrounging around for something to say.

  A small smile curved up the corner of his lip. “Things…aren’t too bad. I hope you don’t mind that I’m here. I took your mom up on her offer to come over. I thought if I waited for you to invite me…” He faded off and shrugged.

  He was right with his implication. He might’ve been waiting awhile.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I said as I closed the distance between us. I dropped myself onto the chair. He lowered himself back onto the couch.

  “I need to thank you,” he said, “for clearing my name.”

  I immediately shook my head. “Your name never should’ve needed clearing. Jace only set you up because of me.” I’d come to that realization earlier in the day. If it hadn’t been for his desperation to get close to me, Eric would’ve been nothing more than a blip on his radar. Sure, he probably would’ve tormented him if the chance arose. But he wouldn’t have gone after him the way he had. “He set you up because of me…and I fell for it. Eric, I am so sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that.” My ponytail trailed over my shoulder. I nervously tugged at it. “You were arrested because of me.”

  Worse? I hadn’t had the decency to stand by him. At the first sign of trouble, I’d turned on him.

  “You didn’t do anything to me,” he disagreed. “That’s all on Jace.” His smile kicked up a notch. “His mom, she doesn’t seem so bad. She called to apologize on his behalf. She even mentioned to Lisa that she’s strongly considering reform school.”

  I was momentarily speechless as I let that news sink in. “Wow. Well that would be…”

  “Freaking awesome,” Eric finished for me. “I wouldn’t mind not having to see him in the hallways all of my senior year.”

  I nodded my agreement.

  Eric blew out a breath. “So. This week has been…” he faded off, apparently at a loss for words.

  “A huge, endless mess?” I supplied.

  “Pretty much,” he agreed. “I wish we could go back to the start of the week.” He paused to shake his head. “Actually, I wish we could go back to the start of the summer. I would do things so differently.”

  A peel of laughter floated through my open window.

  “Girls! Come back here!” Mom said.

  “We want to see Eric!” Natalie said.

  “Yeah!” Madison agreed. “He saved me my life!” she said dramatically.

  “He’s a hero,” Natalie somberly added.

  He grinned as he listened to their conversation.

  “We can do it later,” Mom said.

  We could hear the clatter of small feet coming closer.

  “We can do it now, too!” Madison suggested.

  “Do you mind if they come in?” I asked as I got to my feet. I wasn’t sure if we could stop them.

  “Not at all,” he said.

  “After they’re done fawning all over you, maybe we could get out of here? Go for a ride?” I suggested.

  “Definitely,” he said with a grin.

  * * *

  “I said it before and I’ll say it again and again. I’m sorry,” Eric said.

  We’d driven to the place out of town where the weekend movies were held. It was quiet here. While it wasn’t the most romantic spot, I knew we wouldn’t be interrupted.

  “I just didn’t want to drag all of my baggage here with me when I moved. I thought this year could be a clean start. I could leave the past behind. I never really thought about making friends. I really never imagined meeting you. At my old school, I just kind of blended in. I mean, yeah, I had friends. At least I did until the last year or so,” he admittedly quietly. “After everything happened with my mom I guess I just shut down. I shut them out. I took a lot of crap from guys like Jace. I got suspended twice, defending my mom when I knew better than anyone she didn’t deserve to be defended.

  “I planned on just getting through this year and getting on with my life.” He let out a mirthless laugh. “No one has ever really been all that interested in me before. I mean, in finding out about me. No one’s really tried to get to know me like you have. I wasn’t counting on that.

  “When I first noticed you at the country club,” he shook his head, a small smile appearing at the memory, “you stood out. You just had this quiet grace about you. You were nice to everyone. I thought, at first, that you were just being nice to me because that’s the kind of person you were. Even after you gave me a ride home that day, I never thought anything more would come of it.”

  I realized what he was saying was true. He hadn’t even realized our first date was a date.

  “I never thought through the implications of implying my parents were dead. I just wanted to avoid questions about my past. I thought that would cut anyone off from asking. I barely knew you then. I honestly didn’t think I’d see much more of you after that day. I realize now that after you said you lost your dad, I should’ve cleared it up. But I didn’t think it would matter. I really didn’t think we’d talk again. I definitely didn’t think we’d become what we are. Then the words were out there, and they’d sat out there for too long. I didn’t know how to take them back.”

  He paused to look at me. “Will you say something? I’ve been rambling on and on and you’re not saying anything.”

  “So will you tell me now?” I asked. “About your family?”

  He nodded. “I’ll tell you whatever you want know.”

  “I want to know everything.”

  He fidgeted with his key ring.

  I waited, wondering if he was really going to talk.

  “This person, my mom, she destroyed this family,” he started. “She destroyed them and she’s shown no remorse. The few times I went to visit her, before her sentencing? It was all about her. How unfair it was to her. It was just an accident. She shouldn’t have to pay for the rest of her life. It wasn’t her fault because she’s sick. And yeah, she is. She’s an alcoholic and if I thought for one second that she brought it up because she wanted help for it, it would be a different story. But that wasn’t it at all. It’s just an excuse, her crutch. She’s been using it as an excuse for every shitty thing she’s done my whole life. But she never changes!

  “She destroyed that family. And yet, it’s all about her. She walked away from the accident. Literally walked away.” He shook his head in disgust. “Yeah, she had some cuts and bruises and a concussion. But she was so wasted she wandered off and they picked her up three blocks over. She ended the lives of two little kids and she wasn’t even aware of it.

  “And maybe I’m being selfish but it pisses me off that when I went to see her, it was all about her. Not once did she ask what was going to happen to me. She never asked how I was doing. How I felt about all of this. It was just her, making excuses and feeling sorry for herself. So the last time I walked out of there, I told myself I was done. As far as I’m concerned, my parents are dead to me.”

  “Okay,” I said quietly. “Yeah. That explains a lot. And your dad?”

  “He’s been in and out of prison for as long as I can remember. He used to drop in once in a while but I don’t even remember the last time I saw him. Mom’s a drunk and he’s a damn thief. Always has been and I’m pretty sure he always will be.”

  He shrugged. “So who needs them? I don’t need either one of them.” He stopped to look at me. “Great gene pool I come from, huh?”

  “I don’t think you turned out so bad. In fact, I think you’re
amazing, especially all things considered.”

  “My mom told me once that she never wanted me. That I wasn’t planned. I was a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born.” He tugged a hand through his hair. He looked miserable and worn out. “She meant it. I know she did. But the funny thing is, I don’t think she told me that to try to hurt me. I think she was just trying to make me understand.”

  “Understand what?” I asked. Suddenly I felt like the spoiled rich girl he’d accused me of being. Despite our differences my mother, and even Phillip, had never, ever made me wonder if they loved me.

  “I think it was her way of telling me that she knew she was a shitty mom. Maybe it was even her way of apologizing for it. I don’t know. What I do know is that she didn’t give a damn about me. I know that for a fact….We don’t have the kind of relationship that can be reconciled. Hell, we’ve never had a relationship at all. When I found out I was coming here, I decided to wipe my slate clean. At first I was pissed. I was a mess. But then I realized that no one knew me here. No one knew about my past. I could write my parents off the same way they wrote me off a long time ago.”

  I didn’t want to do that to him too. I didn’t want to write him off.

  “I get it now,” I said.

  “Really? We’re okay?”

  I nodded and took his hand. “We’re better than okay. I think we’re finally where we’re supposed to be.”

  Chapter 24

  “I can’t believe school is starting in less than a week,” Mona grumbled.

  “I know. I thought working at a summer camp would be more fun,” Janelle added on. “But it was work. And now summer is over.”

  “Actually,” Mona said, “we were hoping to meet some boys. Would you believe that out of all of the counselors, only three were boys? There were nine of us girls.”

  “Those are not good odds,” Clara pointed out.

  “Exactly, Einstein,” Mona said.

  Clara was oblivious to Mona’s mockery. She popped a grape in her mouth.

  “I mean, it’s not like I was looking for a sizzling summer romance, but a hot little fling would’ve been nice,” Janelle grumped. “But…no. And now summer is over.”

  “But it’s senior year! It’s going to be so fun!” Clara told them. I had a feeling Clara was thinking of all the “fun” assignments, presentations, and homework we would have.

  “Yeah, fun,” I teased.

  “Besides,” Clara continued on, “just think of how good that will look on your college applications.”

  “Oh, thank goodness there is that,” Janelle sarcastically replied.

  I caught Eric’s eye. He was standing with Mason and a few other guys, checking out the food. Mason had invited a few friends in an effort to introduce Eric to a few more people before school started. He smiled at me, winked, and grabbed a handful of potato chips.

  It had been a few weeks since Eric and I had gotten everything out in the open. I think he was as relieved as I was. He was no longer constantly trying to guard his past. I was no longer frustrated as I tried to stay away from sticky subjects.

  I had been anxious for my other two best friends to meet him. I was more than happy to have this little get-together at my house. Maggie had cooked up a mini-feast. And everyone seemed to enjoy the pool.

  It was the first time we’d seen Mona and Janelle since they’d gotten home. They’d both ogled Eric with curious, appreciative eyes when they’d first spotted them. Then they’d forgotten all about Eric when they witnessed Mason lay a big, slobbery, showy, goofy kiss on Clara’s lips.

  More surprising was the fact that she returned it.

  “We never should’ve gone away for the summer,” Mona said. “We missed out on everything!”

  “Nothing exciting ever happens when we’re around,” Janelle said. I could hear the teasing in her tone, but still, I had to correct her.

  “I don’t know if exciting is the best word for everything that went on. I could’ve done without a lot of it,” I said.

  “Like Jace turning into a complete lunatic,” Clara said.

  “Yeah, what’s the story on that?” Janelle asked. “I’ve only heard bits and pieces.”

  Clara sighed. “Mike told Brian and Brian told Mason—”

  “They’re worse gossips than girls,” Janelle interrupted.

  Clara nodded. “They are. Anyhow, it all kind of started because Jace’s dad was pressuring him to get close to EmLynn. He’d been trying to get into business with Phillip for years. He was desperate for an in.”

  I nodded, already knowing that.

  “When Eric started working at the country club, Jace knew he was a threat. He stole Eric’s jacket one day. From what I understand, he was just being an ass by stealing the jacket. He didn’t really have any plans for it. But later, when Eric and Em started getting close, he realized that with Eric in the equation, he was totally out,” Clara continued.

  “So he used the things he’d stolen to set Eric up,” Janelle guessed.

  Clara and I nodded.

  “Yeah, it was just bad luck for Eric that after Jace stole it, he hung on to it,” Clara said. “Supposedly that wasn’t his intention at first. But when he started getting desperate, he came up with a plan to use Eric’s things against him.”

  “I can’t believe it almost worked.” I cut myself off when I realized I’d almost said too much. Even though these were my closest friends, I realized I shouldn’t share what Phillip had done.

  We had played right into Jace’s game better than he ever imagined. He’d just wanted Eric out of the equation. He never thought that Phillip would make a deal with his dad, the deal his dad had been waiting years for. His plan had almost worked out better than he’d planned.

  “So, whatever came of that?” Mona wondered.

  “Not much,” Clara irritably responded.

  “His dad is supposedly furious. Insurance obviously won’t pay for any of the damages, considering how they were inflicted. He’s grounded…but I still saw him at the country club when I was there with the twins. So either he’s off the hook already, or his punishment really isn’t that severe,” I said.

  So much for reform school. I had to wonder if Janette had only said that to appease the Zierdens in the moment.

  “Your mom has warmed up to Eric?” Clara asked.

  “Completely,” I said. “We had the Zierdens and Eric over for dinner last week. Then we were invited to their house last night. Tim grilled. It was…surprisingly fun. Mom and Lisa have totally hit it off.”

  I liked that a lot more than I cared to admit. While I wasn’t crazy about my mom and my boyfriend’s foster mom hanging out, comparing notes, and more or less bonding, I thought Lisa was good for Mom.

  After the debacle with Jace—who was obviously not the charming young man Mom had thought, despite how ‘handsome’ he was—she decided that maybe I was capable of picking out my own friends, after all.

  It helped that Mona and Janelle were back.

  I had them in my life. I had Clara and by default, I had Mason.

  And of course, I had Eric.

  They were people I liked and trusted, and most importantly, they made me happy.

  Finally, Mom seemed to see that.

  She finally seemed to be happy for me. After months of pushing our relationship, she’d finally taken a step back. She’d let it grow on its own. And it was growing, slowly but surely.

  “Hey, what’re you all talking about?” Eric asked. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck before placing a kiss on my cheek.

  Mona and Janelle were sitting but I swear I saw them both swoon.

  “You. We’re talking about you,” Mona said unabashedly. She grinned at Eric and he laughed.

  “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,” he teased.

  “Too bad,” Mona said. “We’re finding out that you’re a very interesting topic.”

  Eric raised his eyebrows and looked at me.

  I grinned back at him. �
��It’s good! It’s all good! I swear!”

  “Better be,” he said as he gave my shoulder a nudge.

  Several loud, wet splashes caught our attention. The rest of the guys had jumped in the pool.

  “Hey, Clara! Get your tush in here,” Mason commanded. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Please?”

  “Oh, all right,” she pretended to grumble.

  “Hmmm, I think I’m going to get in too,” Janelle said. “I don’t remember Brian being so cute last spring. He’s kind of changed over the summer.”

  “You know I saw him first!” Mona pretended to gripe.

  “But I talked to him first,” Janelle reminded her.

  “You also talked to Kevin first, too. Oh, look,” Mona said. “He’s checking you out.”

  “Brian?” Janelle hopefully wondered.

  “Nope, Kevin.” Mona jumped up from the chair and whipped off the cover-up she’d been wearing. “He’s yours, Brian is mine.” She darted the short distance to the pool, catapulting herself into the water next to Brian. He grinned back at her.

  Janelle turned to us and shook her head. “Isn’t she a brat? I had to put up with that all summer.”

  “But you love her,” I said with a grin.

  “The things you do for friends,” she muttered. She cocked her head to the side. “I guess Kevin’s not so bad, even if he is Mason’s buddy from Math Club. And he’s here. Might as well go get to know him.” She peeled off her cover-up with a little more grace than Mona had.

  When she wandered over to the pool, Eric took the seat she’d vacated.

  “I like your friends,” he said.

  I grinned at him. “I’m glad. I like them too.”

  Shouting from the pool caught our attention for a moment, and then we turned back to each other.

  “So did the guys manage to talk you into trying out for football?” I asked. “I heard them trying to persuade you.”

  “Nah. Like I said, football isn’t really my thing. But I am trying out for baseball. Kevin just told me Jace plays first base. That’s my position. I’d like nothing more than to see him benched.”

  “You and me both,” I said.