Shattered Justice

by Karen Ball

  Even unto death.

  And by that death, He’d set them free. Not just for this life. But for eternity.

  Dan lowered his head, a weary whisper escaping him. “Jesus …”

  There, in silence and shadow, Dan finally met the One he thought he knew. He looked on the face of truth and understood.

  He’d never known God.

  He’d known his idea of God, his impression of Him. But God, the One true God?

  He hadn’t had a clue.

  Not until this moment. Not until he reached the end of himself.

  And found there, in the eternal abyss, fullness beyond anything he’d ever imagined. Fullness that flowed into him, sealing cracks and crevices, replenishing dry ground, breathing peace in place of turmoil, and filling him with soul-deep certainty.

  He lowered his arms and sagged to the ground, lying on his back, not caring that the cold seeped through him. He raised his gaze to the sky—it was alive with twinkling starlight.

  The clouds were gone.

  Mind and spirit were clear—really clear—for the first time since Sarah died. He didn’t understand why things happened as they had. But he could live with the questions now. Because he could rest in this one truth: God was God.

  And he accepted another fact he could no longer deny. God was calling him. To help Jayce.

  Dan pushed himself from the ground, brushed leaves and twigs from his clothes. “Okay. You win. I’ll do it.” He started walking back toward his house. “Just so you understand I’m not doing it because I want to, or because I care about this kid. I’m only doing it because You’re telling me to.”

  An answer drifted through his heart: Obedience is enough, my son.

  For now.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  “Only he who believes is obedient and

  only he who is obedient believes.”

  DIETRICH BONHOEFFER

  “You can make many plans,

  but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”

  PROVERBS 19:21

  WHEN DAN WALKED BACK INTO HIS HOUSE, HE WAS greeted by silence.

  Where on earth were the girls?

  He walked through the house, nerves growing ever more on edge when he found no sign of them. Finally he peered out the sliding doors to the patio.

  They were seated on the bench swing, heads bowed.

  The sight of his sisters praying for him did something to his heart. After the way he’d yelled at them, the hurtful things he’d thrown at them, they had every right to be angry. Resentful.

  And yet, here they were.

  He pulled the sliding door open and stepped outside.

  Both sisters turned, and when they saw him, they jumped out of the swing and rushed toward him, Kodi hot on their heels. Dan just had time to brace himself before his sisters threw their arms around him, hugging him like they would never let go.

  They all spoke at once.

  “I’m sorry … I’m so sorry …”

  “I’m so glad you’re back!”

  “Are you okay?”

  Laughing, Dan hugged them back. “Let’s go inside and talk.”

  Annie made for the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee? It’s cold out there, and you were gone awhile.”

  “That’d be great.” He sank into his large, overstuffed chair, which sat next to the couch. Kodi sat next to him, laying her head on his leg, and Dan scratched her ears.

  When they were all settled, he in his chair, coffee in hand, his sisters on the couch, Dan told them what had happened. When he finished, Kyla leaned toward him and took his hand.

  “I wish I could take this pain away from you, Avidan.”

  His smile was weak. “Me, too.” He gave her hand a squeeze then turned to Annie. “Anyway, one thing I know now is that you were right. I need to do what I can to help Jayce.”

  “Oh, Danny! I’m so glad.”

  He still wasn’t sure if he was or not. “Tell me again what happened.”

  Annie shared the details of the robbery and the police picking Jayce up. “This isn’t the first time, either. A month ago or so they caught him trespassing late one night. He’d climbed the fence into the old, abandoned lumberyard. They caught him as he was leaving.”

  Questions perched on Kyla’s brow. “The lumberyard?” She looked at Dan. “What was he doing there?”

  “His dad used to take him there. Jayce said it was the one place he and his dad were happy. I’m guessing he wanted to feel that again.”

  But Annie wasn’t done. “A few weeks later, Shelby said there was a break-in down in the valley, on the east side of Medford.”

  The east side. That meant big, luxurious homes.

  “Over ten thousand dollars worth of items were stolen from the home. When the police arrived, the thieves were just getting into their truck to pull away. One kid didn’t make it onto the truck. A deputy jumped out and chased the kid while another cruiser went after the truck. The truck got away; the kid—”

  Dan already knew. “Jayce Dalton.”

  Annie nodded. “Jayce Dalton. He got caught, but the police didn’t have any solid evidence to hold him on.”

  “He was at the scene.”

  Dan looked at Kyla. “Circumstantial. Without hard evidence, fingerprints, finding some of the goods on him, they can’t hold him.”

  “Right.” Annie folded her legs beneath her. “So they let him go. But this time …”

  “This time?”

  “Jayce’s grandmother relinquished custody of him.”

  Dan sat up at that. “What?”

  “She just couldn’t deal with the boy any longer. He was out of control. She said …”

  When she bit her lip, Dan knew he wouldn’t like what came next. “She said?”

  Annie’s eyes held a deep regret. “She’d started to hope when he was spending time with you. That he really seemed to be straightening out. But since you … you …”

  “Go ahead. Say it. Since I abandoned him.”

  Kyla touched his arm. “You had to take time for yourself, Avidan. There was nothing wrong in that.”

  He didn’t respond. Just inclined his head to Annie, who continued.

  “Anyway, since then, he’s just gotten deeper and deeper involved with a gang of boys headed up by some tough.”

  One guess who that was. “Marlin Murphy. I should have known he wouldn’t leave Jayce alone.” Dan had always viewed regret as a waste of emotional energy. Folks did the best they could with what they knew, and that was that. He gave himself the same measure of grace.

  Until now.

  Deep, wounding regret flowed through him for what he had—and hadn’t—done. He’d known he shouldn’t have walked away. Not from Jayce. Not from Shelby. Not from his sisters.

  Yes, he had reasons. But reasons didn’t stop consequences. That those consequences affected him was only right.

  But knowing those consequences hurt those he cared about?

  That wasn’t right. Not by a long shot.

  “So where do things stand with Jayce? Has he been arrested?”

  “No.”

  A twinge of relief touched him. That was something.

  “He’s being held and will appear before a family court judge tomorrow. Apparently it’s a judge Shelby knows. He was ready to turn Jayce over to the foster system, until Shelby talked with him.”

  “And now?”

  Annie shifted on the couch. “That’s where you come in. Shelby convinced the judge to hold off his decision until you talk with him. She’s almost certain, if you agree, that the judge will … um …”

  He frowned. Annie vacillating was never good.

  Kyla nudged her. “Go ahead. Tell him.”

  “Yeah,” he added his voice to Kyla’s, “go ahead. Tell him.”

  “Shelby was almost sure the judge would release Jayce into your custody.”

  Dan sat back in his chair. “Into my what?”

  “Your custody.”

  “As in to live with me?�
�

  Annie nodded, and he stared down at his hands, trying to take this news in. Turning it over in his mind, his heart.

  Jayce Dalton. Living in his home. His responsibility.

  Unable to sit still any longer, Dan went to look out the window at the star-studded sky.

  The clouds were still gone. The night was clear.

  As was his heart.

  This request wasn’t coming from Shelby. Or from the judge. It came from a far higher authority. God, You’re asking too much.

  My son, I ask only what I gave.

  Dan looked down at the floor. Only what You gave. But Father, You gave everything.

  There was no reply, but then, Dan didn’t need one.

  He moved to stand in front of his sisters, perched on the edge of the couch, watching him. “So we’d better get busy if we’re going to have Jayce’s room ready by tomorrow.”

  Both women jumped off the couch and swamped Dan with more hugs. Then Kyla glanced toward the back bedrooms.

  The kids’ rooms.

  Dan’s throat caught. They’d already gone through the rooms, packing away clothes and toys and all the odds and ends that had been reflections of his children’s tastes and loves. The closets and dressers stood empty, the beds bare. So either room should work fine for Jayce.

  Should.

  But Dan didn’t think he could do it. Didn’t think he could even consider surrendering one of those rooms to someone else. Fortunately, Kyla saved him from blubbering all over himself.

  “The guest room is the largest of the three bedrooms, so I vote we make that into Jayce’s room.” She looked at Annie. “That means you have to switch all your things to one of the other rooms.”

  “Consider it done.”

  “Good. I’ll run out to the store and pick up a few things to make the room more fitting for a boy Jayce’s age.” Kyla glanced at Dan. “Okay?”

  “Okay.” He watched Annie head down the hallway, and Kyla grabbed her jacket and purse and made for the front door.

  He’d never met two women more ready and willing to take on whatever came their way. And he was more grateful than ever that they were on his side.

  Heaven knew he needed all the help he could get.

  TWENTY-NINE

  “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

  Only through experiences of trial and suffering

  can the soul be strengthened.”

  HELEN KELLER

  “But he knows the way that I take;

  when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

  JOB 23:10 (NIV)

  “I’M AFRAID.”

  Dan spoke the words out loud, into the silence. “No, that’s not right. I’m petrified. Stark raving terrified. So freaked I’m about to lose my mind.”

  Yup. That pretty well covered it.

  When he woke this morning, things had changed. While last night hadn’t given him all the answers, it had pierced his armor. No, more like cracked it wide open. Shoved it away from his heart until it shattered in a million pieces.

  Then when he went to the kitchen to scrounge some breakfast, he received his first shock of the day. Annie’s bags were packed and by the door. He looked from them to her.

  “Goin’ somewhere?”

  “Home.”

  Dan stared, sure he’d heard wrong. Kyla left last night. He expected that. She couldn’t be gone too long from her work. But Annie leaving? She couldn’t. Not now! Not when he was getting into this deal with Jayce. He needed her here.

  She hugged him. “It’s time for me to leave, Danny. God made that clear to me when I woke up.”

  His arms closed around her. “But—”

  “It’ll be okay.” She stepped back. “You’ll be okay. You don’t need me here. You’ve got God.”

  He couldn’t exactly argue, so he helped her load up her car, gave Kodi a final scratch behind the ears, then stood there waving until her van was out of sight. Then with a heavy sigh, he made his way back inside.

  I sure hope You know what You’re doing, Lord.

  Just a few hours later, here he was, about to lay himself on the line for Jayce when he wasn’t at all sure he wanted to. But something else worried him even more.

  Shelby. He was about to see her again. And his defenses were all but obliterated.

  It was hard enough to resist her when he was numb. Now?

  He snorted. Just run up the white flag, boy. One look from those baby blues, and you’ll crumble like yesterday’s Ritz crackers.

  By the time he reached the justice building, he had to force himself to release his death grip on the steering wheel. He rubbed at his aching fingers, then opened the car door.

  Time to pay the piper.

  Shelby stood, waiting, on the outside steps. He spotted her first and stepped back behind the low-hanging branches of a tall evergreen. Feeling incredibly foolish, like a junior higher spying on a girl he likes, Dan peered through the tree’s branches.

  He couldn’t quite make out her expression, but her stance was tense. Was she nervous? Angry? Dan squared his shoulders. Only one way to find out.

  With sure steps he started walking. Shelby saw him within seconds, and she kept her gaze on him as he approached. He climbed the steps until he stood just below her. Words rushed to his lips, but he couldn’t get them out. Not with those baby blues looking down at him.

  He didn’t meet her eyes. Couldn’t. Was too afraid of what he’d see there. Say something! he begged her, but she stayed silent. Serve him right if she never spoke to him again outside of work obligations. Desperation started to crawl across his nerves, and he gave serious consideration to racing back down the steps. But just as he was about to rabbit, she reached out and put a hand on his arm.

  “Thank you for coming, Dan. This means a lot to me. And to Jayce.”

  Dan met her eyes and felt as though someone had smashed a two-by-four into his temples. He expected anger. Frostiness. Condemnation. But what he found was compassion. Tenderness.

  And something more.

  Something he wasn’t the least bit ready to face. And though his heart screamed at him to apologize, to open himself up to her and share what he’d been feeling, he just inclined his head. “Jayce meant a lot to Shannon.”

  Shelby’s hesitation told him just what she thought of that brilliant comment. But it was the best he could do. Shoot, with the emotional battle taking place inside him, he was lucky he could form words.

  “Judge Richards is waiting for us in chambers.”

  The judge was a lean, serious-featured man in his late fifties. When Dan and Shelby entered his chambers, he indicated two chairs in front of his desk and, when they sat, got right to business.

  “So, Deputy, am I to understand you will accept responsibility for this minor? This—” he shuffled through some papers on his desk.

  “Jayce Dalton,” Shelby supplied.

  The judge’s nod was abrupt. “Precisely. Jayce Dalton.”

  Dan gripped the arms of his chair. “Yes, Your Honor.”

  “You’re aware of the trouble the boy has been in?”

  “I am.”

  “Your Honor, as I explained yesterday, Deputy Justice and the minor in question have a relationship through Master’s Touch.”

  The judge’s lips thinned. “Apparently not too successful a relationship, considering what the boy’s been up to.”

  Dan grimaced. Wasn’t this guy supposed to be a friend of Shelby’s? Then why be such a hard case?

  Shelby cast a look at Dan, and he got the sense she wanted him to say something. But what was he supposed to say? “Yeah, you’re right, the kid’s trouble. But my daughter saw something more in him, and God told me I was supposed to do this, so I’m willing to try.”

  Yeah. That’d help.

  With a small frown, Shelby scooched to the edge of her chair. “The minor had been doing better, Your Honor. He was doing well in school, applying himself. You can see from his record that it had been som
e time since he was in any kind of trouble.”

  The judge scrutinized the papers in front of him again. “So what happened?”

  Shelby started to answer, but the judge held up a hand. His gaze pierced Dan. “I’d like the good deputy to answer this one, Miss Wilson.”

  A dozen replies flitted through Dan’s mind. But he discarded them, opting instead for the truth. “I bailed.”

  The judge blinked. “Excuse me?”

  Dan looked away for a moment, then met the judge’s hard gaze again. “Your Honor, you may or may not know about my children. My son and daughter. That they both were murdered several months ago.”

  The judge considered that. “Yes, I do recall reading about that.”

  “Well, after the funeral, I wasn’t in any shape to help Jayce. Or anyone, for that matter. So I walked away. From him. From everyone.”

  The judge sat back in his chair, tenting his fingers so that they met just at the tips. “I see. And this was how long ago?”

  “In early October.”

  “And why, Deputy Justice, should I believe you’re in any better shape now, half a year later, to help this minor? Or, as you so eloquently put it, anyone else?”

  Dan leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I don’t know.”

  There was that pinched look again. Clearly not the answer he’d been looking for.

  “I wish I could say something convincing here, Your Honor, but I can’t. This isn’t easy for me. I lost my children. That’s a pain I don’t think will ever go away. But I promise you I’m ready for this. And I’m determined to do whatever it takes to help Jayce.”

  As Dan spoke, the truth of his words penetrated deep into his own heart. He was ready for this. He wanted to do it. He hadn’t realized how much until this very moment. Sitting back in his chair, he felt himself relax. This was right. More than that, it was what God was calling him to.

  “Jayce Dalton is a good kid, Your Honor, deep inside. My daughter saw that in him, and she helped me see it, too. Yeah, I messed up. I don’t deny it. My only excuse is I was in shock. I said and did a lot of things I wish I hadn’t.”

  He could feel Shelby’s gaze shift to him at that confession, but he didn’t look at her. He had to stay focused. “All I can do is promise you it won’t happen again. I’ve been in this business a long time. I know what it will take to help Jayce. And I’ll be there for him. I’ll keep an eye on him and work with him as hard as it takes to get him through this. This kid deserves a chance. I’d appreciate your giving him—and me—that chance.”