A Place to Remember

by Jenn J. McLeod

  While Ava chatted, John found himself staring at the heart-shaped cookie cutter on the bench. He reached for it just as Ava’s hand took hold. As if it was electrically charged, John’s hand gripped tighter and he felt a sudden inexplicable desire to kiss the woman.

  Ava sprang back, eyes wide with surprise.

  John cursed under his breath. What the hell are you doing, Tate? You don’t sneak up on a woman like her and kiss her without…

  She wrapped both her arms around his neck, drawing his lips to hers. John groaned, returning the kiss. Ava was like an unexpected downpour on a parched landscape and he didn’t want her to stop, but the sound of footsteps on wooden boards pushed them apart.

  ‘You in here, Dad? I’ve come over to see how your night panned out with…’

  ‘Blair?’ John hastily adjusted the shirt that hung out over his trousers, while Ava checked for lipstick smears.

  ‘Oh, hello there, Ava!’ He had stopped on the top step before the sunken sunroom. ‘All good, then.’ He backed away and called, while heading towards the front door, ‘I’ll catch you later, Dad.’

  As the front door shut, they looked at each other and burst into laughter.

  ‘Well, that was awkward,’ Ava said, eventually.

  ‘Awkward is not the word I’d use, but I’m wondering what happens now?’

  ‘Maybe we should cook and have that cuppa,’ she suggested.

  ‘Good idea. I guess I’m on tea duty.’

  ‘No, get those sleeves rolled up, John. We’re doing this together. I’ll measure, you stir.’

  ‘Ha! My son will tell you I’m a natural stirrer.’

  *

  They’d drunk tea and eaten too many pieces of the heart-shaped lavender shortbread, leaving only five for the decorative plate, which John photographed as a reference because no way would these leftovers last beyond the day.

  ‘Ava, you are fast becoming a most fascinating subject and I’ve yet to put brush to canvas. We really must focus tomorrow. There is still tonight, however, and I was thinking… It’s been a while since I cooked, so I can’t promise anything spectacular, but if you’d like to stay for dinner I can guarantee a pretty special sunset from the veranda.’

  Ava was reluctant to leave, but didn’t trust herself to stay. ‘I hope you don’t mind if I save it for another time, John?’

  Today had taken her by surprise, her head reeling when she thought about what might have happened had Blair not walked in on them. As for tonight, and at the risk of acting like a fifty-eight-year-old virgin, she preferred to prepare herself, and for the occasion with John to be special – not just the sunset. ‘I agree that we need to focus on the portrait.’

  ‘I understand, Ava.’ Disappointment closed down his sunny expression.

  ‘Or,’ she dared, ‘it’s a beautiful day and there’s so much of Ivy-May I haven’t seen…’

  John smiled. ‘I have a quad bike. Your chariot awaits.’

  Ava threw back her head and laughed. ‘Can I borrow an old shirt?’

  ‘That I can definitely manage. Come this way and you can take your pick.’

  He waited for Ava to change, and when she reappeared wearing the oversized business shirt – sleeves rolled up, collar tuned up and the thin white cotton allowing glimpses of a lace bra – John’s blood raced through his veins.

  *

  ‘Hold on tight,’ he called to her, over the rumble of the engine revving into action. He pulled both her arms tight around his waist, inviting her to shimmy forward until every part of her body was moulded to his. ‘Ready?’

  Yes, said one part of her brain. No, said the other. She settled for ‘Let’s go.’

  *

  The ‘short’ ride took three hours. They traced the circumference of the mighty Mount Hedlow and from the ridgeline John pointed out property boundaries, telling her how his ancestors had overcome hardships to provide a future for their children.

  The return trip was more leisurely as they traced the meandering Candlebark Creek, a slow-moving river offering myriad sandy coves and shelter from the afternoon heat.

  *

  ‘Tea or coffee?’ John called, from the kitchen sink.

  ‘Water, please,’ Ava said. ‘Not sure which part of me has more dust – my face or my mouth. Thank you.’ She took the glass he proffered.

  ‘Thank you, Ava, for letting me show you my Ivy-May.’

  ‘Nothing you haven’t seen a million times, I’m sure.’

  John straddled a dining chair and gulped a glass of water. ‘Only what I saw today through your eyes was different. I can’t explain any better than that, except that somehow you’ve reinvigorated my love for the land. I’d forgotten plenty of things, including how lucky I am to live in a place like this. Today, you made me remember… The other day you asked if I believed in Fate. I’d enjoy discussing destiny over dinner so perhaps you’ll reconsider my invitation for tonight.’

  Her face declined without the need for words.

  ‘I’ll take that as a no. And I commend you on a very wise decision as there’s no guaranteeing the fate of a steak in my hands these days.’

  ‘There’s always tomorrow.’ Ava smiled meekly. ‘Today’s been a little overwhelming and I have to think about my heart. A good night’s sleep after a good day is what I need right now. I’ll come early tomorrow, if that’s all right with you, and we can get into the portrait.’

  ‘Come back any time after nine o’clock.’

  ‘I will, and I’m looking forward to it very much.’

  ‘Me too, Ava.’

  ‘Thank you again for today, John, for the property tour, I mean. Exploring this beautiful place, visiting all those hidden nooks and lush spaces along the river has meant more to me than you can know. If only I’d thought to take some photos.’

  ‘There’s always tomorrow.’

  ‘Speaking of cameras…’ she said. ‘Perhaps taking some reference photos of me is a good idea. I’m proving to be one of the distractions you told me about that first day.’

  ‘A very pleasant distraction – but we won’t need photos. We’ll make a good start tomorrow straight to canvas.’

  ‘That sounds wonderful.’

  John detected a shift in Ava’s mood. They were back to being polite. Had he pushed too hard, said too much, been too eager? He had forgotten what she’d said on that first day, about an expiry date that required medical intervention. For reasons he could not explain, the notion made John more fidgety than normal. He stood up, which prodded Ava to do the same.

  ‘Look at me, I need a shower,’ she said. ‘And I’m afraid your shirt’s filthy.’

  ‘That old thing? Not sure why I even have a white business shirt. Given the yellowing I’d say it’s pretty old. Throw it away. One less in the wardrobe will keep my ex-wife happy.’

  ‘I’ve thanked you a dozen times already, John, so once more won’t hurt. Thank you.’ After collecting her bags from the kitchen bench, she added, ‘For everything.’

  Should he kiss her goodbye? It had been too many years; John couldn’t remember the protocol. He only knew he was desperate for Ava to stay, to talk and laugh like they had last night and to kiss like they had in the kitchen earlier. He felt like a boy again: awkward and eager, stumbling over his words like he was sixteen for the third time in his life.

  ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Ava.’

  She smiled slowly and he waited. There was something to follow, something specific she wanted to say, and he could tell by the way Ava’s lips quivered that it was serious. But she was withdrawing, as he’d watched her do a couple of times now, the smile fading.

  John saved her from the struggle. ‘You should take these remaining shortbreads for Blair. Tell him his old man’s not a bad cook after all.’

  Ava offered a small smile. ‘Or a bad kisser.’

  Relieved, John let himself laugh. ‘Maybe we’ll keep that small detail to ourselves.’

  Ava walked towards him and they did kiss again, but John
didn’t dare linger. As much as he might wish he was, he wasn’t a teenager any more.

  Chapter 35

  Leaving

  ‘Good evening, Ava, did you have a nice day?’

  ‘An interesting one,’ she replied, matching Blair’s sass. ‘Without the delightful body scrub in the guest rooms I dare say that the dust would take a long time to get rid of.’

  ‘Hmm, yes. And while we’re on the subject of time and all jokes aside,’ Blair grimaced, ‘my timing sucked today. I wanted to see how everything was going with the painting and check that Dad was behaving himself but I walked in on you two.’

  ‘Your father’s clearly not behaving himself and I prefer it that way.’ Ava wasn’t sure whose grin was wider: Blair’s or hers.

  ‘TONY & MARISKA’ lit up on her mobile. ‘Ah, my son.’ She swiped the message alert.

  Ris in hospital. Tests. Doc worried. I need you Mum.

  ‘Oh, Tony, now?’

  ‘Is something wrong?’ Blair asked.

  ‘My son’s wife is having a difficult pregnancy. They’ve taken her to hospital. I must go.’

  Concern filled Blair’s face. ‘Now? You’ll be driving in the dark. Are you sure your family would want you doing that?’

  ‘Would you not fly to the moon and back for your son?’

  ‘Well, yes, but it’s late in the day to be leaving.’

  ‘You’re lovely to worry about me, Blair. You’ve grown up to be so much like your father.’

  ‘And that’s a good thing?’ Blair said, with a smirk.

  ‘A very good thing.’ Ava stood up, a little breathless. ‘I’d like you to deliver a note to him.’ One that will take me a lifetime to write. ‘I’ll leave it in my room. Oh, and one other thing. I want an invitation to the wedding. You have my address.’

  ‘Which wedding, Ava?’

  ‘Yours,’ she quipped, while gathering her things. ‘There’s a woman out there waiting to share your passion for this piece of paradise. And stop shaking your head. Open your eyes. You’ll be sure to not miss her that way.’ Ava took Blair’s hand between hers and gave it a quick squeeze. ‘And when you find the right person make sure you hold on tight. The good ones can be taken away from you so easily, leaving you with memories and sadness.’

  ‘You’ll be the first person I tell, Ava – after Dad.’

  ‘Listen to me going on and on!’ Ava patted his hand. ‘Lecture over. I really can’t delay.’

  Ava knew she had to hurry. Tony would not have messaged her if the situation with the baby wasn’t urgent. Once she was in the car she would call him and ask.

  ‘I’ve loved meeting you, Ava. I hope you won’t be a stranger to us. Drive carefully.’

  *

  For the second time in her life Ava was stuffing her possessions into a suitcase, slamming a lid on her emotions, and leaving Ivy-May. In the end she hadn’t left a note in her room for John. What could she possibly have said in it? Once she was home, back where she belonged with her family, she’d find the time and the words. Or maybe she’d realise the best thing to do was to disappear from John’s life again, but this time it would be her choice and for the right reason. Perhaps, by some miracle, the tests at the hospital three weeks from now would give her the all-clear and she might have a future to look forward to after all.

  For now her focus needed to be on her family. If Mariska’s doctor decided to induce the baby, Ava would soon meet the little boy who would carry the Marchette name into the future.

  THE PANNA COTTA

  2015

  Chapter 36

  Project Portrait

  ‘Did you get to bed at all, Nina? When I came home last night you were in that exact position staring at your phone.’ Miriam Fox, long-time school friend, work colleague, and I-won’t-be-staying-too-long flatmate, had moved in two years ago. She tried snatching the mobile phone, but Nina was too quick. ‘Have the Hemsworth brothers made a nude calendar and you’re not telling me?’

  ‘No, Miriam, it’s Mum.’

  ‘Ava’s made a nude calendar?’ Miriam snorted and fell into the cushions at the far end of the three-seater sofa. She tucked her feet up and wrapped her purple dressing gown around her knees. ‘Is she still worried about Mariska after last month’s scare?’

  ‘No, no, Ris and the baby are fine and back on track with a natural birth, as planned. But Mum did tell me some things when I confronted her with the painting yesterday.’

  ‘You wanna sit here and sulk on your own or share?’

  Nina wasn’t sulking. Ava’s two-hour confessional in the tiny hospital room had left her shell-shocked and she was yet to make sense of the revelations. Re-telling the story to Miriam might help.

  ‘For a start, there was no health retreat last month.’ Nina described how Ava’s emotions yesterday had swung in every direction. ‘Mum seemed so… I don’t know, different, distracted. She even cried when she read the note, muttering, “He remembered.” You should have seen her, Miriam.’

  ‘Not sure I’ve ever seen your mum get emotional about anything. Boardroom Ava’s always been unflappable.’

  ‘You wouldn’t say that if you’d been there. She told me stuff about her childhood I never knew, including how she moved to the country when she was twenty-seven and met the love of her life.’

  Miriam face-palmed her forehead. ‘Bloody hell, Neens, if you’re about to tell me there’s a guy living in some obscure country town who is your real birth father then—’

  ‘Don’t joke. For a moment I’d thought the same, but this was well before Tony and I were conceived. She got a job in a place called Candlebark Creek, north of Rockhampton.’

  ‘Candlebark Creek was written on the back of the portrait parcel, along with a woman’s name – Ivy-May?’

  ‘Ivy-May is the name of a cattle property. That’s where she fell in love, but the guy was only twenty at the time.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘That put seven years between them. Attitudes about older women and young men were different back then. Plus, his mother was—’

  ‘The bitch from Hell?’ Miriam finished for her. ‘That I can relate to.’

  ‘While not exactly Ava’s words, she admitted it wasn’t until she’d had children of her own that she could appreciate a mother’s concerns. Mum said the guy had been amusing and a terrible flirt. She’d flirted back. It was supposed to be a fling.’

  ‘Seriously? This is a side of Ava I would never have imagined in a million years.’

  ‘She said their connection was immediate and intense. She didn’t encourage him, but she didn’t say no when she should’ve either. For the first time since leaving home at seventeen she let her guard down. She had a steady job, a safe place to live, and could be totally irresponsible, so she let her heart lead her rather than her head.’

  ‘Nina, honey, I can’t believe this.’

  ‘It’s true, Miriam. She said she’d expected a clandestine affair and that they’d have their fun and when the time came for her to leave Candlebark Creek, they’d say, “Thanks, it was great,” and goodbye. She said she knew she’d never forget him, while he would likely never remember a fling with the hired help.’

  ‘Did he?’

  ‘That’s the big question. Look at the note and the portrait.’

  ‘You mean the love of her life and the artist are the same guy?’

  ‘Last month she went to see John Tate. I think she was hoping for a miracle. That he’d open the door and know her. I googled him and he’s quite well known.’

  ‘I don’t know what to say, Neens.’

  ‘Me either, except maybe thank John Tate and his bizarre portrait for prompting our conversation. Mum opened up about so many things. I’ve heard about Marco a million times, but never anything about my grandmother.’

  ‘Nina, honey, you never met either grandparent. What does it matter?’

  ‘For one, I understand why Mum avoided talking about Lenore all these years. That woman bullied Grandpa and abused her.’
Nina relayed Ava’s recollections for Miriam, careful to leave out the part about a man named Donald McNally. She had pushed him into a place in her head for another time.

  ‘Grandpa forced Mum to leave home. He said Lenore was an example of harmful abusive traits shifting down the generations, and to break the mould Mum had to go away. He gave her the dragonfly brooch she’s always treasured, said it was a symbol of courage, strength and happiness, and told her, “Persone forti si salvano.” The strong save themselves.’

  ‘That saying was in a picture on Ava’s office wall at work.’

  ‘Yes, and you see why I have to do this?’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Project Portrait.’

  ‘Uh-oh, I sense danger.’

  ‘Nothing like poor Mum faced alone at seventeen. She had to be strong and make all kinds of decisions, including a fresh start on some farm in central Queensland. I searched the town. Looks nice, with every second business calling itself Candlebark Creek Whatever, except the ridiculously named Moo-tel.’

  ‘No way!’

  ‘There were others, but that was the highlight.’ Nina felt like laughing for the first time in twenty-four hours. ‘Anyway, now you know why I can’t stop looking at the portrait. I took some photos before leaving it with Mum.’ Nina turned the phone to show her friend. ‘I’ve been trying to figure out what it means.’

  ‘Why, for God’s sake?’ Miriam feigned horror. ‘It’s a really creepy painting that makes no sense. It’s hardly the meaning of life.’