A Place to Remember

by Jenn J. McLeod

  ‘Hang on a sec. The man isn’t a stranger to Ava and you don’t know what really went on during the sitting. By the way, Neens, the other word for intervening is interfering. Remember the Marchette family motto?’ Miriam stopped to take a clean mug from the dishwasher. ‘Strong people save themselves, and your mum is the strongest woman I know.’ She stuck a teaspoon into the Milo tin and scooped chocolate powder into the mug. ‘You love your mum, Neens, and you want to protect her, but this has to be her call. Boardroom Ava has been making her own decisions all her life. That heart of hers might be affecting her physically, but her ability to think and choose is not compromised. You’ve done all a daughter should do – which, by the way, does not include steaming open a note addressed to her mother.’

  ‘All I should, or could I do more?’

  ‘That depends.’ Miriam poured the still-steaming water from the kettle into the mug and stirred vigorously. ‘Your choice in the end. Do what feels right, hon.’ She took four marshmallows from the Tupperware container and dropped two into the hot chocolate. ‘What John’s written to Ava in that note requires no reply on her part. Your mum will be none the wiser if you want to whack it through the shredder, right over there.’ She stabbed the teaspoon at the adjacent utilities room. ‘What to do with the ring is another matter.’

  ‘I have to give it back to John, somehow. Maybe I can slip it into a drawer or something in Ivy-May.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s not taking the safe option, I suppose.’

  ‘What else do I do? Rock up and say, “Oh, by the way, John, here’s the ring you were going to give to my mother thirty years ago”?’

  ‘When you put it that way…’ Miriam said. ‘So, what about the letter you’re holding?’

  ‘Undecided.’

  ‘Hmm, maybe put yourself in Ava’s shoes. Give me your phone.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just give it to me,’ Miriam said, munching through a third marshmallow while opening a text, the last Nina had received from Blair. He hadn’t texted her since the cyclone. ‘How would you feel if I intercepted Hunky Cowboy’s messages, like this one, and deleted it?’ She jerked the phone away when Nina reached for it. ‘Wait a second, what the hell is this message?’ She squinted at the screen. ‘Just castrating more bulls and thinking of you. Wishing you were here. Wow!’ Miriam mumbled through the fourth marshmallow she crammed into her mouth. ‘How romantic.’

  ‘I happen to like that he was reminded of me. Kind of like prairie oysters remind me of marshmallows, all white and squishy.’ Nina managed a small smile as she left her friend gagging into the sink.

  I wish I was there, too, Blair.

  Chapter 56

  Dirty Money

  Ava managed a smile for the harassed McDonald’s barista, who slid two coffees in paper cups across the counter, then began to serve the long line of grey nomads who had filed off the highway to the silent road-safety mantra: rest, revive, survive. Surviving this meeting with Katie was going to require more than a weak shot of caffeine. The lukewarm reception had been awful enough.

  Kathryn Tate looked decidedly out of place in the bustling fast-food outlet, her hands running a wad of paper napkins in circles over the sticky table.

  ‘Your skinny latte, Katie.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Outside the service centre, as trucks, caravanners and commuters negotiated the roundabout, all with a destination or purpose in mind, the two women sipped their coffee, their small-talk going in circles.

  ‘Thank you again for meeting me halfway at such short notice.’

  ‘I’m assuming this is about my son and your daughter. You know my feelings about that,’ Katie said.

  ‘I can assure you I’m also uneasy about the relationship, but this is about your son’s future. I want to help.’

  ‘Nothing needs your help, Ava.’

  ‘I happen to know it does, because you’re not the only person keeping secrets from the family. Blair’s keeping his financial troubles from you.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ Katie scoffed. ‘And in that unlikely event, John would have told me Blair was in trouble. He tells me everything.’

  ‘Did John tell you he’d mortgaged Ivy-May to help Blair after his wife took half their bank account with her?’ Ava stopped to sip more coffee and to let Katie stew on that information. ‘Your son won’t ask for more help because he’s worried his father might be tempted to sell the ridgeline. Someone apparently approached John a while back.’

  ‘That would have been Don Crockett.’

  ‘Can John sell off part of Ivy-May without Blair knowing?’

  ‘There’s no need,’ Katie replied. ‘Besides, the retreat is insured for damage and I’m certain that under the Local Disaster Guidelines I can get government assistance.’

  ‘A business like Blair’s can’t wait. The cyclone damage needs fixing ASAP, not only so he can continue to meet his debt commitments but so he doesn’t disappoint all those brides who have their special day booked.’

  ‘They’ll understand.’

  Ava shook her head. ‘Social media is powerful and unforgiving when it comes to airing gripes, Katie, and I can imagine a bride feeling aggrieved when her big day is cancelled. A bad reputation could see the end of Blair’s business. I’m sure he knows this and I’m sure John would do anything to help his son.’

  With a flick of her wrist, Katie unfurled a clean napkin, the accompanying sigh signalling her surrender. ‘Yes, John can sell. With the historical significance of the ridgeline, the Tates made sure it remained under separate title. When John and I married… Well, there was so much going on at the time we never got around to changing ownership on our respective properties. What’s John’s is John’s and my family property remained in my name, which made it easy for me to sign over the B-and-B business to Blair. It would’ve been his eventually, as will Ivy-May, if John doesn’t start selling bits off.’

  ‘That’s why you and I are going to come to an agreement, Katie.’

  The woman eyed Ava over the paper napkin as she dabbed her mouth. ‘What kind of agreement?’

  ‘I’m going to give you money and you’re going to find a way of making John accept it. I don’t care how you do it, but the mortgage John took out over Ivy-May for Blair has to be paid off.’

  ‘Why would John take money from me?’

  ‘To clear Blair’s debt and keep Ivy-May safe for future generations. It’s what he’s always wanted.’

  Katie drove the crushed paper napkin into the empty coffee cup. ‘My son is a good businessman. The land brings challenges, but you wouldn’t understand cattle enough to know how difficult it’s been.’

  ‘I do understand, Katie. I also know, even if John was to sell, land sales take time and proper negotiation to fetch the right price. Blair needs help now so he can hire a marquee and start accepting bookings again, not in six weeks’ time or whenever the insurance company pays up. I’m similarly advised Blair might be eligible to apply for some emergency funding from the government in such circumstances. But should he be forced to wait that long when I can offer money immediately?’

  ‘So, this is a loan?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘And what do you expect to get out of the arrangement, Ava?’

  ‘Nothing. I want no involvement whatsoever. That’s why I need you. Here, take this.’ When Katie made no attempt to take the business card, Ava dropped it on the table.

  Katie looked up. ‘Who is Bysmark Brokerage?’

  ‘Your salvation. Paul Bysmark is an old friend and he’s expecting your call. You’ll need to ask John for the mortgage details and Paul will arrange for the transfer of funds.’

  ‘Why, Ava? Does flaunting your wealth make you feel good?’

  ‘Take it or leave it.’ Ava nudged the card closer. ‘They were Marjorie’s words the day she paid me to leave Candlebark Creek for good, and while my pride said no, practicalities made me take the money. I cashed the cheque, but I never used a cent. In fact, I wanted to forge
t about it, and I could, once a very fine business accountant took charge of my finances. Yesterday, when I had Bysmark’s access the investment as a matter of priority, I was quite surprised at the amount. Look, Katie,’ Ava tried to speak to the other woman’s pride, ‘this has come from money that was never mine. Money I never wanted. For years I wished I’d never accepted it.’ Ava stopped to breathe, to slow her heart down. ‘Don’t let pride stop you accepting it. I didn’t. Money has its purpose. It doesn’t buy the important things and it can’t buy our children’s love. They have to find their own way through life. We can only pave the way, guide them and let them know they’re loved, so when they falter they aren’t afraid to ask for help.’

  Katie seemed to fold. ‘Blair’s really afraid to ask me?’

  ‘I’m not saying he is or he isn’t. You’re a formidable woman, Katie. Look at the challenges you’ve faced and overcome.’ Most of them brought on by yourself, Ava thought. ‘My information comes third hand, from Nina. I’m offering you an olive branch, like I did in the paddock that day, the morning after your eighteenth birthday. If only we’d been friends then.’

  ‘We’re hardly friends now.’

  ‘But we’re older and wise enough to work together. Money can buy time, which Blair needs to get his business back together. His ideas for the Iron Pot Hill Farmstay Retreat are big, bold and very doable. This is your chance to let your son realise his dream to have the biggest and best. That is, after all, what you and Marjorie wanted.’

  The tip of Katie’s index finger toyed with the card on the table. ‘Why involve me? Why not just give it to Blair yourself?’

  ‘I don’t want Nina to know, and I’m not looking to buy my way back into anyone’s life. John won’t accept money from a stranger and that’s all I am to him. Blair certainly won’t accept money without question and I’m sure you’d rather no questions were asked.’

  ‘Blair or John will ask me where the money came from.’

  ‘Tell them anything. Tell Blair his father sold some paintings. Tell John you had a lotto win. I’m sure you can come up with a suitable lie. There’ll be more than enough here for the mortgage and a cash payment to help Blair get a replacement marquee quickly. That place is his dream and you understand dreams.’

  ‘Yes, I had a dream for Ivy-May once. Instead I grew to loathe the place. I hated having to do it all and I hated Marjorie for making me. I hated Colin and then I hated myself. I watched my son grow more distant from me and closer to John, and I became so jealous of their bond.’ Katie looked like she might cry, but she recovered, shoulders taut, chin up. ‘In the end, not even John loved me. No, not in the end,’ she corrected herself. ‘He never did love me, Ava, so I found a man who did and got out of there.’

  ‘I’m sorry about how things worked out for you.’

  Katie sent the card skidding back across the table. ‘I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your money.’

  ‘Take it and make the call, Katie. Think of it as Marjorie’s money. I’m sure she’d want her grandson to benefit. This isn’t about you, this is about Blair.’

  ‘And, in turn, your daughter, no doubt.’

  ‘You can put that spin on it if you like. I’m not getting Blair out of debt completely. I’m making the path clearer. Nothing in life is certain. Blair and Nina might be falling in love, but you and I both know love is no guarantee of a happy-ever-after. I’ve never seen Nina fall so much in love, and so quickly, but I won’t interfere with my daughter’s decisions, even though I wish it wasn’t Blair.’

  ‘Why? All of a sudden a Tate isn’t good enough for you, Ava?’

  ‘All of a sudden I find myself having to keep a secret from my daughter. Your secret, Katie.’

  Chapter 57

  Notes and Funerals

  ‘A very good morning to you, lovely Nina.’ Standing at the end of her driveway, still decked out in a pink robe, slippers and a wool beanie, Mrs Hense resembled a fluffy-footed flamingo. ‘Someone’s in a rush today.’

  Nina ignored her, occupied by the letter in her hand. ‘You there, Mum?’ she called through the fly mesh, impatient.

  ‘Darling, what’s all this about?’ Ava unlocked the metal security door, ushering her daughter inside.

  ‘Where have you been, Mum? I called you several times yesterday afternoon.’

  ‘I, ah, had a pressing financial matter to see someone about. What’s the urgency?’

  ‘A note. He wrote you a note.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘John Tate wrote you a note to go with that basket.’ Nina thrust out her hand with the envelope. Ava glanced towards the kitchen bench and the assorted jams and chutneys.

  ‘I was wondering where all that had come from and why there wasn’t a note, especially since Mrs Hense seemed quite certain there was.’

  ‘Okay, so now you know. How about you read it?’

  With one eye on her daughter, Ava unfolded the sheet of paper, immediately recognising the handwriting.

  ‘Read it aloud, Mum.’

  ‘Why? When you’re obviously acquainted with the contents.’ She grinned and perched on a stool at the breakfast bar. ‘Pass me my glasses.’

  Ava looked down at the paper and her smile grew.

  Dear Ava,

  I hope you got the painting. I was hoping to hear from you and to know you liked the end result. I did warn you that portraits are not my forte. I thought you’d enjoy this basket. In hindsight I should have delivered the painting myself had I wanted a reaction. Then again, hindsight is not exactly my forte either, these days, although I have been thinking a lot lately. Mostly about what brought you to my door, and about my initial reluctance to have you sit. I now know the reason.

  From the moment I saw you I didn’t feel capable of painting you. Some things won’t be captured, no matter how beautiful the subject or how talented the artist. Michelangelo would not be good enough to paint you.

  Do you remember I told you about Dante Gabriel Rossetti and Elizabeth Siddal? Well, what I’m trying to say is that you, Ms Ava Marchette, may be my Elizabeth. You awakened feelings long forgotten and brought colour into a world I didn’t think needed any more. And, yes, I do believe Fate brought you to my door that day and you are welcome back any time.

  Sincerely,

  John Tate

  PS. There is no invoice included. Consider the painting a gift in return for the gift of your sitting.

  ‘Well, Mum?’ Nina sat on the adjacent stool.

  Ava huffed. ‘Well what?’

  ‘Will you drive back up to Ivy-May with me at the weekend? I really need to talk to Blair and I think you should see John.’

  Ava remained silent, staring at the note.

  ‘Come on, Mum,’ Nina persisted. ‘This is what you wanted.’

  ‘To be someone’s concubine? Hardly!’

  ‘Am I supposed to understand that?’

  Ava wrung her hands. ‘Elizabeth Siddal was… Oh, never mind, Nina. Perhaps you’ll give me a little time to myself.’

  ‘If you’re sure you’re feeling all right. I did think about not giving this to you, but then I… Please just say you’ll come to Candlebark Creek with me.’

  ‘Nina, darling, I’m sure if the property is as damaged as you say I’ll only be in the way. In fact, as lovely as John’s note is, I’m ending this here. This thing between John and me has to end before anything happens.’

  Nina almost choked. ‘What are you saying? Why?’

  ‘I don’t believe in miracles and I don’t interfere with Fate. He had no recollection of me, which suggests some memories are meant to stay locked away. John’s had enough confusion and complication in his life, so let this go, darling.’

  ‘How do I do that?’ Nina was sounding desperate. ‘Just give him time. If you go back for a few more days, a week maybe—’

  ‘I made a choice thirty years ago, Nina. I left John with his family and I went away to make a family of my own. You, Tony, Ris and my beautiful grandchildren are my focus
. My purpose in going back recently was not to invite anyone into my life, especially a man who’s had trouble enough in his own. I’m quite happy to have only myself to worry about – and you, Nina, always you.’

  ‘And that’s exactly why you need someone in your life, Mum. His note says he remembers, and the mother I know does not give up easily.’

  ‘I didn’t give up easily,’ Ava said. ‘I went back to Ivy-May to see him.’

  ‘You mean before last month?’

  ‘Nineteen eighty-six, before I left town. I’d been living and working at the local pub for months, waiting for John to be well. But staying there was becoming impossible for various reasons, so before I left Candlebark Creek for good I went to the house to see him. I had to see him one more time. I needed an answer.’

  ‘Was he there? Did he recognise you?’

  ‘He answered the door and I knew straight away. Then Marjorie made sure I saw a pregnant Katie and I understood all I needed to, or so I thought at the time. Marjorie had won and everything was different. John was different. Surgery had stripped him of his curls. He was thin, but he looked happy – really happy.’

  ‘He’d moved on, just like that, and you didn’t say anything?’

  ‘I’d planned to say so much, but there was hardly time before Marjorie took charge. He looked at me with boyish curiosity and a polite grin, his confusion clear. He was going marry Katie, just like Marjorie had always wanted, and as much as I wanted to fight, to be in John’s life again, I had to consider what was best. To him I was a stranger at his door. He would marry Katie O’Brien, as planned, and we’d never be together. Rick had told me I was fighting a losing battle with Marjorie Tate, but I hadn’t wanted to believe him. To be honest, I wish I’d never started this silly portrait idea. So, please, Nina, drop this now. There’s something to be said for leaving the past in the past. Live for what today has to offer. Don’t waste life looking for what yesterday took away.’