Damaged Love

by Sarah J. Brooks

  I began to count down the hours until I could return back to the coffee house for dinner.

  ♡

  CARSON

  I chose to work a double shift on my first day at Grande Cup. I was too grateful for the earlier miracle not to volunteer the moment they announced the need for an extra hand to replace the absent sick staff for the night.

  Neither Bethany or Ida was willing to prepare a meal in their respective homes or eat alone, so together they both found their way to my new place of work.

  Ida was the first to arrive and at the angry look on her face, I knew that there was trouble.

  “David set me up,” she spat the moment I was able to sneak a question to her. “He allowed me to announce that his partner would be coming, to the entire conference. Everyone got worked up expecting his arrival, and guess what: he never showed. Guess who took the blame for all of this? Me.”

  “What did David say? Surely there must have been an explanation.”

  “The bastard disappeared. He left me a message that his partner would not be coming and that he too had an engagement to catch and he disappeared.”

  “He didn’t give the speech that he was invited to give?”

  “No, he had long done that. The no-show of his partner is the tragedy here.”

  “Maybe something did come up,” I suggested to her as I pretended to help her peruse through the menu in case my employers were watching me.

  “The bastard set me up. It’s not the first time he’s pulled a stunt like this. He loves seeing me miserable and humiliated. I’m going to kill him the next time I set eyes him.”

  I straightened then to look towards the counter and as if on cue, Bethany came in with her boyfriend Theodore.

  “Bethany’s here,” I announced, and at Ida’s silence, I turned to see the deadly scowl on her face. “And so is David,” she said.

  “What…”

  Bethany arrived at our table excitedly and attempted to give me a hug, but I shushed her away and adjusted the silk necktie around my neck.

  Amused, she filed and her boyfriend slid into a booth after flashing a smile in greeting at me. “What’s wrong with Ida?” she asked, and I turned to see Ida’s eyes follow David as he headed across to the opposite side of the huge cafe. There was someone extremely tall with him dressed in a simple white shirt tucked into dark slacks, and a calf-length camel coat which added a majestic aura to him that was hard to ignore. He was impossible not to notice.

  “Ida, isn't that David?” Bethany asked.

  “The one in the camel coat?” I inquired.

  “Of course not. David is the shorter one behind him.”

  I couldn't see either of them clearly and when they finally lowered to their seats I gave up looking altogether and returned my attention to my job.

  “What would you all like to order. Theodore, it is so nice to see you again, how was your day?”

  “Splendid,” he replied and we both watched Bethany and Ida unable to keep their curiosity away from the table across the room.”

  “I’m going over,” Ida suddenly announced, and I and Bethany panicked.

  “Don’t you dare,” Bethany sputtered.

  “I will be civil,” she said as she slapped her napkin against the table, her eyes burning with rage. “That demon just needs a good lesson.” She stood and stalked away in David’s direction.

  My nerves began to brim at the scene that Ida was going to cause in a few moments. She had absolutely no regard for public opinion and Bethany and I had been thrown out of many public places in the past as a result of her temper. I considered moving away from the table just so that my association wouldn’t be linked to them and I ended up getting fired. This job was my current lifeline.

  Theodore was a good sport and politely told me his order while Bethany received a few under the table kicks from me.

  “I’ll have whatever he’s having,” she said and returned to stretching her neck towards David’s table. “I wonder if that is his partner there with him,” she muttered, and I cleared my throat to bring her attention to the ensuing awkwardness. Her boyfriend was right beside her.

  It was time for me to leave. I had spent too much time with such a difficult table. I was about to go ahead however when Bethany announced that Ida was returning so I remained, surprised at how quickly it had all ended. I hadn't even heard a single raised voice.

  Ida took her seat quietly as though comatose, and we all watched her somber expression quietly.

  “What happened?” Bethany asked.

  “His partner is there,” she announced.

  “And?” I asked, wondering what had gotten her so sober. “I just chose to respect myself. I’ll deal with David on my own some other time.”

  “Was it David or his partner that made you change your mind?” Bethany asked.

  “His partner apologized for his unavoidable absence, very kindly too if I might add.”

  “So David didn’t do it on purpose? See, you just keep shitting on the poor man. Let’s have dinner already.”

  I rolled my eyes at Bethany while I took Ida’s order.

  I could tell that Bethany wanted to drill her about all that had happened at the table, and so did I, but I had a job to do and Bethany a man by her side, so we both respected ourselves and bided our time.

  I left to place the order and went off to attend to the other tables in my station and soon enough their food was ready. I took it to them and just as I turned to leave my phone began to ring. It was my agent, Will Zimmerman.

  My heart pounded in my chest just as it always did when I saw his call whether I was expecting any news or not.

  I hurried out of the main dining room and toward the hallway that housed the restroom to take the call. He had news about the script I had handed over to him almost two months back. I had almost forgotten about it.

  “It took a while to garner interest just as I told you earlier,” he said. “However a producer at Steiner picked it up a few weeks ago and I was really expecting to hear good news, but he called earlier on with a rejection. I would have informed you sooner, but I was much busier with other things.”

  Wow, was all that resounded through my heart. For some reason his blatant announcement of his preoccupation with every other thing apparently more important than informing me of the absolute rejection of the script I had spent two years working on and put all my hopes on hurt more than anticipated.

  I thanked him for his hard work and gave myself a few minutes to get myself back together. It was going to be excruciating.

  I stepped out into the back alley for a moment alone. There was one other person in the alley; a man in a beige suit smoking a cigarette. It was dark, but I saw him nod at me. I nodded back and stepped toward the dumpster for a little privacy.

  As I gazed up at the clouds gathering in the sky, I heard footsteps approaching quickly.

  ♡

  XANDER

  What just happened?” David asked as he turned to gaze in surprise at the retreating figure of Ida.

  “She looks more beautiful now than when she was with you,” I commented as I placed some almonds in my mouth from the little bowl on our table.

  “She looked ready to kill me just a second ago. A quick apology from you was all it took to calm her down?”

  “I meant my apology.”

  “And I didn’t?”

  “You have no credibility whatsoever in her eyes.”

  “And you do?”

  “I wasn’t the one who hurt her.”

  David pounded his fist on the table and it caused more than a few heads to turn towards our direction. His eyes weren’t smiling anymore and for once the curtain was pulled back and the pain behind them was revealed. “And you think that I meant to? What did I do that was so wrong? Try to make a better life for the both of us? She was the impatient one. If she had just waited for me a little bit more, believed in me just a little bit more. She threw me away, during the time when I needed her the most. W
hy does all the blame always have to come to me?”

  The pain in his eyes reminded me of that which I had sometimes seen in my father’s eyes after one of his episodes with my mother. It was one which I never wanted to see in my eyes. “Because we’re meant to be the heroes,” I said to him. “Whether we are capable of it or not. The world has no ears for our excuses, that we’re just plain men, as flawed, and lost as everyone else because we are expected to be stronger, and wiser, and abler.”

  I rose then and exited the table to give him the moments that he needed to himself. I knew what frustrated him the most now. Because even after he had succeeded in the pursuit of what he thought had cost him his marriage, Ida still wanted nothing to do with him.

  He now had all the money that he could have wished for back then, and the ability to provide her the life that he’d thought she wanted, and yet it still didn’t seem enough.

  Seeing his predicament helped clarify to me what my intention was in assisting Carson. I was no hero and my current indulgence for her was just for the thrill of the chase. I would explain this plainly to her and if it sparked even the bit of offense, I would be out of the door, faster than she would be able to blink.

  I saw her exit the main dining room just a few minutes earlier and I was suddenly anxious to get it all over with. Twice I had been to this cafe in the same day, and I had all but bought her the job. I was already treading on dangerous waters.

  I strolled through the dim hallway wondering where she had gone. It turned out to be the location of guest’s bathrooms and a rear exit. I opened the door and found myself in a very dimly lit alley. Cigarette butts littered the ground, one of them still burning, but no sight of her or anyone else, so I turned around to leave.

  At the last moment, low whimpers reached my ears.

  A deeper voice followed and then what sounded like the sniffing of someone in tears. I went a bit further from the exit door and then around a dumpster to see a man bent himself at the waist tugging at the blouse of a woman silhouetted in the dark.

  She had her arms around herself as a cage and was pleading with him against his advances and when I finally realized what was going on, I was stunned. Why wasn't she screaming out? She was fighting him as much as she could and sobbing, yet no screams came from her lips.

  The fury that engulfed me at the sight sent me throwing a kick to the man’s backside which drove his head into the wall.

  The woman covered her mouth with the shock and instantly scrambled to her feet. With her arms still fashioned as a cage across her chest, she glanced between me and the man and just stood there trembling.

  It was Carson.

  I didn't expect what I did next. I had put my furious teenage years behind me and I rarely ever got into fights anymore, but today the familiar rush of rage burning my heart from the inside out engulfed and blinded me to all else. I gripped the man by the collar before he could rise, and pounded his face repeatedly with my fist.

  Blood spurted from his nose and disgusted, I let him go, but I was far from done. The heel of my shoe took over and at his roar of pain she came to me and grabbed my arm.

  “It’s enough,” she said. “Please let him go.”

  But I couldn't stop. I brushed her hold off and picked the man up by the collar intending to drag him all the way into the main hall of the restaurant. I started to do just that, his limp and heavy body dragging on the pavement but then she dropped to her knees in a plea and I stopped in my tracks.

  “Please stop,” she cried, tears rolling down her cheeks. I was surprised at her reaction. “Don't take him into the restaurant, just leave him be.”

  The pig began to run his mouth with threats and with my I stomped him with as much strength as I could and hoped to God that I had broken his jaw.

  “Get me one of the staff,” I told her, but she shook her head, and began to pull me with her back into the restaurant.

  “There is no need, just leave him be.”

  I couldn't understand her, so I jerked my hand away from hers and headed back into the building. I stopped by the restroom to get myself together and when I returned to my seat, David immediately noted my mood.

  “Are you alright?” he asked.

  I nodded and just then our food was brought out. Grateful for the distraction, I watched as Carson came into the dining room all smiles and acting as though nothing had happened. While in the restroom I had already placed a call to the manager to ensure that this was thoroughly handled and that the pig’s information would be sent to me. I also wanted her shielded from anything that it may stir up.

  I kept to myself for the rest of the meal and then, later on, I asked David why a woman would choose to endure such humiliation without saying a single word?

  “Perhaps she loves where she works and doesn't want to jeopardize her standing there, or perhaps she is just too terrified of it backfiring on her.”

  We paid for our meal and I headed back to my car, however, I found that I couldn't leave. I sat quietly in the back, the smile on her face as she had continued to work for the remainder of the night haunting me.

  Eventually, I saw her friends leave, and then about an hour later she came out from the restaurant, her shift over, and began to walk.

  My car followed her as discreetly as we could, but soon the traffic prevented us from moving any further, so I jumped out of the car and began to walk behind her. The clouds had gathered overhead and the moment the thunder started roaring across the sky, and the rain began to fall, my driver Simon, found me and placed an umbrella over my head.

  I took it from him, sending him back to the car and hurried after her just as the rain began to pour.

  Everyone on the sidewalk began to scamper for shelter but she just continued to walk, her head lowered to the ground as the rain poured down and began to soak her. Something tore in my heart and instantly dispelled my fury.

  I had almost reached her when she finally noticed the rain and lifted her head to the sky. I saw her smile, and then stretch out her arms to catch some on her hands. I couldn't stand the sight any longer, so I headed over to her and placed the umbrella over her head. She turned around, surprised at the sudden covering, but when she realized that it was me, she stumbled and only the quick swing of my hand around her waist saved her from completely losing her balance and falling unto the ground.

  Even as I stared into her eyes with my heart quickening and a warmth beginning to spread through my veins despite the cold around us, I made up my mind then that tonight would be the last time that I had anything to do with her.

  Chapter 4

  CARSON

  For a few moments, I forgot the position we were in until his hand around my waist began to burn through my blouse. I straightened then with a little help from his now slightly damp shoulders, and found my balance again, embarrassed to be caught in such a pitiable position every single time we met.

  How was he here though? I wondered, worry seeping into my heart. Had he followed me?

  “Let’s have coffee,” he said, and my refusal was automatic.

  The streets were now empty as the rain came down hard, but my sights were set on a cab. I had a job now and could afford the luxury.

  I started to walk away so that I could hail one, but he suddenly grabbed onto my wrist and began to pull me into the nearest coffee shop. I tried to resist but a few moments later I found my drenched self seated across from him in a small but brightly lit pastel-themed coffee shop.

  “What do you want to drink?” he asked, but I found myself unable to meet his eyes.

  “Nothing,” I responded. “I’ll be leaving soon.”

  “Go to the restroom and dry yourself off a bit.”

  He stood up and walked to the counter after his instructions and I thought about what to do. The embarrassment that was beginning to flush over my cheeks from the train wreck I currently looked like forced me up and on my way to the restroom.

  Only when I got to the restroom did I realize that my wh
ite blouse had been soaked through and that the plain black bra underneath was silhouetted to the world.

  I gasped at the exposure and immediately hurried over to the hand dryer. I could only use it for a few moments at a time to allow others who just needed a few seconds to dry their hands. I ignored the strange looks that came my way but then when I realized that I would be leaving soon and back into the rain again anyway I gave up and returned back to the shop.

  I saw him at the counter getting our drinks unto a tray and my heart stopped in my chest. His hair was damp too, but he had brushed it away from his face, and the camel coat he had on gave a regality to his frame that I couldn't overlook.

  He caught me staring then as he turned around and nudged his head towards our seat.

  The moment I arrived, I started to tell him that I was leaving but he shrugged off the coat and came over to place it around my shoulders. “The shoulders are a bit damp, but it will keep you warm,” he said. He sat down, the table unable to accommodate his long legs so he angled them away from the table, one knee crossed atop the other.

  He picked up his phone then to answer a call, and I took my seat, the heavy coat drowning me in warmth and his scent. It was as familiar as the first day I had met him; musk and tobacco.

  I found myself taking a sip of the steaming latte that he had brought me, my decision to leave long forgotten. I watched him as he spoke on the phone in a barely audible tone and took the chance to properly check him out. His dress shirt was finely tailored and tight, and it stuck to his broad and thoroughly toned chest. He wasn't brawny but the muscles and veins that bulged in his arm were enough to set me on fire. I wanted to touch him.

  A cough escaped my lips at the thought, so I looked away and tried to get myself together.

  “Are you alright?”

  He asked, and I nodded without meeting his eyes. Then he just stared at me. I could feel his gaze almost burning through me until finally, I couldn't stand it anymore.

  “Do you have something to say?” I asked, the offense apparent in my tone.