I prepared as best as I could, and almost picked up the phone to call Xander for some sort of emotional support. But then I remembered what we were, sadly, and kept my phone away.
At almost 8 pm that evening I left the house and headed over to the address that Will had sent to me. It was a lounge in Manhattan, a brutally expensive area, and just the invitation to go there built up the hope in my heart. Maybe I wouldn't need Xander’s help anymore, and maybe I would finally be able to carve some sort of path for myself.
I arrived in a dimly lit room with clusters of highbrow gatherings at different corners of the room, drinking expensive bottles of alcohol. I almost immediately spotted Will as my name had been given at the door. I was led to a round table of three men in suits plus Will, and he rose up excitedly to introduce me.
“This is my writer,” he said. “She’s the one I keep talking about. She is insanely talented.”
Not feeling as though I was deserving of the praise, I took the hands offered as I was introduced to three of the most famous executives in television, all of whom I was already familiar with.
I took a seat beside Will and accepted the cocktail that was ordered and brought over for me. However, when I was told very suggestively to move closer to the head of ASA Studios, Patrick Sanders, alarm bells began to go off in my head.
“So, tell me more about your pitch,” he began and I smiled nervously, as I fought to recall how to coherently communicate my top idea to them. It was either now or never.
I cleared my throat and sat up to speak, however before I could begin, I was stopped once again. “Come closer,” he said. “It is too loud in here to hear you all the way over there.”
I exchanged a look with Will, and he urged me on as though it was nothing. Ignoring the caution that was filtering through my mind, I moved over till I was seated beside Patrick.
They all seemed especially amused as they watched me. I began to speak; however, it only took a few minutes in for me to realize that the interest in the words that were coming out of my mouth was significantly less than that which my breasts commanded.
I was dressed decently enough in a blazer thrown on top of a white t-shirt and dark jeans, however, it seemed that my being a woman with the hope to create an opportunity for herself was my true offense here. I stopped speaking when, in order to acknowledge a statement that I had made, Patrick Sanders gripped the inside of my thigh. I rose to my feet then, furious enough to walk out of the meeting.
Patrick took my hand and pulled me forcibly down. “What is the problem?” he asked in an offended tone. “Why are you overreacting? “
I swallowed my anger and apologized as politely as I could. “I’m truly sorry but I have been down the last few days with a stomach ache, so I will have to leave.”
“What do you mean?” Will swore. “Do you know how hard it was to get you this meeting? I felt cornered. “Just stay a bit more,” Patrick said, as he brushed his hand down my arm. I jumped involuntarily when his knuckle brushed my breasts.
I turned to Will then and the look of loathing he gave to me turned me cold. “What are you so nervous about? Who has gotten anywhere without giving a little bit of themselves? Do you know how many thousands of people are vying for the position that you are trying to get? What’s wrong with being a bit friendly to the only people who can take you there in this world?”
“Some other loser has probably had his way with you and you had no complaints,” one of the other executives said. “Patrick here, however, could provide you with all you could ever need.”
“And he’s got a big one too,” his friend said, “and the experience to match. It’s gone a bit lumpy with age, but it can still do what it used to.” They all burst out laughing while I looked around in despair. I had two options now. It was either I stuck out the crude jokes and found a way to slip away later on, or just apologize right now and calmly find my way out of here.
♡
XANDER
I was in a casual meeting with the production manager of Beeme, Bryson Burke, and David, as we tried to resolve a persistent bug in Beeme’s programming.
“We might have to outsource this,” Bryson said, his tone lowered knowing how much I stayed away from situations where external assistance was required.
“Is it a problem of time or ability?” I asked.
“Definitely ability. The team has been hard at work trying to resolve this for months, but we’ve failed at every turn.”
I turned away then in thought, my insides gnawing at the suggestion but unable to deny its urgency any longer. “Outsource it,” I finally gave the order. “Find someone who can resolve it, and when you do just hire him.”
I picked up my drink to empty the glass, and it was then that I first noticed her. As I watched what was going on, I hoped to God that I was wrong.
My father had had a very short fuse, and it had come close to ruining us all. My temper was even more out of control than his had been, so I had tried all my life at all costs to avoid confrontation or things that provoked me to rage.
As I violently pushed my seat out and rose to head over to the table across the room where my wife was being assaulted, I thought of asking David to handle it instead, however I knew that I wouldn’t be able to function afterward if the damage that the rage within me demanded wasn’t carried out.
“What’s going on here?” I asked as soon as I arrived at their gathering. “What’s this meeting about?”
The men at first looked perplexed at my audacity in interrupting their meeting, but then one of them recognized me. Unluckily for him, he was the one that had his hand on my wife’s thigh.
“You’re Xander Cage,” he said and rose to offer his hand for a shake.
“Move!” I roared at Carson and she scrambled away just as I picked up the half-emptied bottle of Louis XIII from the table and smashed it into the man’s head. Chaos broke out, but I tuned it out, focused only on permanently destroying the bastard before me. I grabbed his collar before he could cower, and my next blow sent him crashing into the seats behind and then unto the floor.
I turned to the men beside him and they both began to scramble out of my reach, but I caught one of them by the coattails and pulled him right back to me.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing…?”
I flung the 250-pound animal to the ground like a sack of grain. He tried to get up to reserve some of his dignity but his effort to not remain down set my insides on fire.
I kicked his stomach, aiming to crack as much of his ribcage as I could. His groans and cries of pain were deafening, but my rage was out of control. I got in as many kicks as I could until the blood began to splutter from his mouth.
Someone pulled on my coat from behind then and instantly I lowered my head to dodge whatever blow was coming. My strength easily displaced the hold and I turned around to see the younger man that had sat with them. I landed a deadly punch to his face and felt my knuckles move out of place at the blow. It aggravated me even more.
“Aaargh…” I groaned just as he staggered to his feet unable to take his eyes off me as he struggled to run away. I walked towards him, readying my left fist to complete the damage when Carson suddenly jumped in front of him.
“Stop!” she screamed, her arms outstretched to shield him.
“You better move out of the way,” I growled, however, she didn't move and the moment I got to her she threw her arms around my side, trying to stop me with her flimsy strength. The amazing thing was that the moment those arms came around me, I felt myself take my first proper breath since this episode had begun.
I couldn't displace her, and neither could I say another word because I knew that I would go too far. Something irreversible might occur. My memory went back to the night my father died and I shut my eyes against the memory.
I grabbed onto her shoulder and pulled her away from me to gaze into her eyes.
She was in tears. “What are you freaking doing?” she pounded on my
chest in fury. Her blow dislocated her hand and she crouched down as she grabbed it from the pain.
Her wince tightened my insides but before any more damage could be done I turned around and said to her. “Let’s go.”
As we were leaving, the third man who had scrambled out of my reach began yelling. “Do you know who the fuck we are? How dare you do this? I will ruin you.”
I turned back to him and he quickly stepped back away from me.
“I’m her husband,” I informed him. “Send your lawyer to me.” With that, I grabbed onto Carson’s hand and she went with me out of the lounge. David had probably called Simon up because the car was already waiting by the curb and the door pulled open for us. I let her into the back seat first and followed her in.
Immediately after we arrived home she started to head upstairs but I held her hand and pulled her back. “Let’s talk.”
She flung her hand from my hold and turned on me. “What talk? What the fuck did you just do? Do you know who they were?”
I watched her quietly. Her hands were shaking as she spoke and her hair disheveled.
They’re the executives of the networks I have been trying my entire life to get into, and you just almost killed them.”
“They touched you,” I reminded her, but she shook her head to dispel the thought.
“Barely. They barely touched me, and I was about to get out of there. Others have endured worse. But with what you have just done…” She covered her face with her hands for a few moments and then raised it back up to stare at me with tormented eyes. “What of if I am never able to work in this industry anymore? What will I do then?”
I glared at her for a long while, chose not to say a word, and then stormed out of the apartment.
Chapter 14
A week passed and Xander did not return home.
At first, I just stayed in my room, waiting for the sound of his arrival but when a few days passed and there was nothing, I moved out to the dining table just in case I missed him. There was no movement in the house, only the sound of my restless pacing and Brenda’s activities each morning she came over to clean the house.
I took the time to explore Xander’s room. His closet, which was close to the size of Bethany’s apartment, was meticulously organized. His colors were monochrome, grey and camel shades, with only very few suits and ties around. He truly had his own style in the way he lived and interacted with others. There was so much I was yet to understand about him, and not knowing where to start and the fear that he would continuously keep me at arm’s length were my biggest dilemmas. Especially now that I had all but yelled him out of his own house. He probably thought I was too unreasonable to argue with, much yet live with.
I called my friends to schedule a night over at their place and some greasy dinner.
“Don’t you have some sort of billionaire’s wife soiree to go to or some fundraising or charity event?” Bethany asked. “You should be spending your nights in ball gowns and insured jewelry.”
Ida had more of an explanation for that than even I did. “David says that Xander rarely honors those invitations and the ones that he has thus far, he keeps her out of, so she isn't obliged to push off her work time to attend them. He is being considerate of her.”
“Perhaps,” Bethany reluctantly agreed, “but attending one or two of those in thousand-dollar outfits and a sexy ass man by her side couldn't be too much effort to expend for one night.”
I agreed with Bethany but kept my comments to myself. “I’ll be with you both soon,” I said and was about to head to the door when the bell started ringing.
Fear gripped my heart in the expectancy that it would be Xander. I very slowly opened the door to the apartment.
It was Xander’s mother. I had only spoken very briefly to her during the wedding.
“Can I come in?” she asked, and I eagerly stepped away from the door. It was her son’s home.
“My fiancé had an event in the city so I flew down with him so I could see you both.”
Fiancé?
She ran her eyes around the apartment, a soft smile on her face. “How’s married life with Xander treating you?” she asked.
I was about to just nod and automatically brush the question aside, but I decided to properly answer her. “It’s been going quite well,” I said, “however a week ago we had an argument and…”
“And what?”
“He hasn't been home in a week,”
I thought she would give me a disapproving look. However, she shook her head in amusement and said, “Sometimes he acts just like his father without realizing it. Don’t sweat it dear,” she said. “When he is done blowing off steam, he will be back.”
Her words should have soothed me, but they were not enough. “Why would he just take off like that? Why wouldn't he stay to sort it out?” Only when the question left my mouth did I realize that I was asking her a question that only Xander and I could answer. It was because we were not married out of our feelings for each other. I started to turn away, but when his mother had a response for me I turned back to her.
“That’s because of his temper,” she said. “His father was the same way. When they get riled up like that they can lose all reason. He doesn't want to make any mistakes with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“He left because he cares. He doesn't want to do something that will hurt you and that he will regret towards you.”
That didn't make any sense to me. “By staying away, he is hurting me more.”
“Xander doesn't have experience so he is just acting out of his instinct. You will be the one who has to set your rules down.”
“Did you set your own rules down?” I asked.
“His father was not as thoughtful as Xander is, so I just accepted whatever I got. But you’re off to a better start than I ever was. Xander’s father just took out his temper on me. I’m a bit hungry, could you make something for me to eat?”
“Sure,” I said and hurried off to the kitchen. I whipped up some rice and curry for her and joined her in the dining table, my gaze still full of worry.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” she said as she ate, and I turned toward her.
“You’re our family now and for you both to make your love last you need to understand each other. Xander is quite calm most of the time is he not?”
“He is,” I said, but thought back to all the times he had burst out into fights in a split second over me. “But his temper can sometimes flare out of control. It’s as though he forgets who he is.”
“You're right,” she said. “Unfortunately, that temperament Xander picked up from his father. Has he told you how his father passed away?”
“No, he hasn't,” I replied. “He has never mentioned anything about his father.”
“Well, the version the world knows is that his father got drunk, staggered around and then cracked his head open on the edge of the table in our living room.”
I swallowed nervously as her voice got quieter. “What they don't know is that he fell because he got into a fight with Xander. He had been beating me up for whatever reason, and Xander couldn't take it any longer. I didn’t even know when he had gotten so strong. He lost his temper and forgot that he was his father. They squabbled for a while and then Xander threw him to the floor. He hit his head and cracked his skull open.”
I gasped quietly and held my hand to my heart.
“I told Xander to disappear immediately, that he had not been in the house. When the investigation started I took the blame for the blows on his father’s body, and the fall was attributed to his drunken state. Xander escapes blame at that time, but it’s been a demon by his side ever since then. I sent him away to New York on his own after that so I have not been able to witness firsthand how he has developed internally, especially as he is always so guarded. I was sure he wouldn't ever start a family of his own because of it, but then you came along.”
She smiled at me and held her hands in mine. “I�
��m so grateful for you,” she said. “He cares deeply for you, that much I can tell. So, I hope you’ll be able to use your love to soften him and keep him from being so guarded and afraid of his own self. I hope you will be able to reach places with him that I can never get to.”
I was quiet as I stared at the table of half-eaten dishes, speechless as to what to say. “What was the fight between you two about? Do you mind telling me?”
“A man touched me inappropriately. We were in a business meeting, and you know how those pigs could be sometimes?”
“Xander got in a fight with them?”
“He beat them into pulps.”
She smiled then. “The only people Xander gets into a fight with or for are those who have a place in his heart. You’ve crept your way in already, congratulations.”
I didn't feel any sort of comfort whatsoever by her words.
“Just take it one day at a time. Be patient with him and begin to create and set down your own rules. Don’t let him act however he wants all the time. New territory, a new partner, new rules. Understood?”
I nodded in response.
♡
CARSON
The next day, I paid a visit to Xander’s office for the second since we had met.
David met me at the elevator. “Finally,” he said, with his usual mischievous smile. “You came to find your husband even though he doesn't want to be found.”
“Where has he been staying?” I asked.
“Right in his office, and the building has been abuzz with gossip that you kicked him out. I was going to call you myself today if you didn’t show up. We’re having a meeting now, but come with me and I’ll introduce you to the senior staff.”
Damaged Love Page 55