by Gress, C. R.
I wonder if mom has been slipping Valium into my drink today.
The wedding is a nice quaint one with about fifty or so guests; mostly family and an few friends on both sides. I am not that girly girl that has to have a lavish wedding with an overwhelming number of guests. I would have been happy if we had just gone to Vegas. Of course, if we did that our families would probably disown us. At least I was able to keep it moderately simple. We had our wedding and reception in the banquet room of a local restaurant that is owned by long time friends of mine.
The wedding reception was pretty awesome after we were finished with all of the pictures that everyone wanted to take. The restaurant we were utilizing had a full bar and dance floor so over time the reception blended into the normal Friday night club crowd. This helped us our immensely seeing that what alcohol we didn’t provide for our guests was available for purchase at the bar.
I manage to get through our first dance together in my dress before I stripped it off me in the parking lot and changing into some clothes better suited for drinking and dancing. Most newlywed couples stick around receptions for only a few hours, however, since the bar was actually open until two a.m. our guests had a ball; drinking and dancing until our hearts content. I think Jace and I finally worked our way out of the bar around one.
Of course, getting to the hotel was going to be a mission in and of itself. Thank goodness I had gone earlier in the day to check us in or we would be standing in the lobby in the middle of the night trying to get our act together to get a room. That would have been nearly impossible seeing as I am having a time getting Jace into the car now. He has apparently had way too much to drink and is standing in the parking lot crying his eyes out about what his mom is going to do without him. Um, hello, she is married and she is an adult, I think she will be able to handle it.
When we finally make it to the hotel, the fun really starts. It is two in the morning and my drunken ass newly wed husband is stumbling up and down the hall beating on various doors telling people to wake up and celebrate our marriage with us.
“Jace, come on and leave them alone. We have to be at the airport in four hours to check in and I would like to get a little sleep.”
“Damn, I guess since nobody will come out and celebrate with us then you and I can celebrate by ourselves. Come here, I want some lovin’.” He slurs out as he tries to wrap his arm around my waits.
I laugh so hard at his attempt to consummate the marriage, “Yeah, not going to happen big boy. You can barely even stand up right now, I have no doubt in my mind you will be able to get it up.”
We reach the room and I slide the key card into the lock before I open the door and he stumbles past me and sits on the end of the bed. “You just watch and see how well I get it up sweetheart.”
I giggle softly as I close the door behind me and make my way to the bathroom. I have to pee so bad I swear my eyeballs are floating. By the time I finish using the bathroom and wash the makeup off my face I make it out to find Jace passed out at the foot of the bed. He has one shoe on and one off, his feet are still planted on the floor and he is laying as if he just sat back and that was it.
With a slight giggle, I move to take his other shoe off and nudge him to get in to bed correctly. He is so out of it he doesn’t even make a noise in response. Well, no noise except his snoring. Realizing I am not going to get anywhere with him, I change into sleep shorts and a t-shirt and crawl into bed close to the top, setting the alarm for two hours later before I lay down and finally doze off.
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The next morning, well actually the same morning only two hours later the alarm goes off and I get up trying to hurry and get a shower. Our flight leaves in two hours and I am now on a mission to get myself ready as well as Jace and get us to the airport in time. Unfortunately, Jace’s still drunken state has other plans. I finally give up and take a shower by myself before I put his shoes back on him. He is still in the dress shirt and formal pants from last night. I pack the suitcases and put them by the door before I actually wake Jace up.
I walk over to the bed and bend over until my face is right up against his ear. He hasn’t moved, he is still in the exact position he was in when he passed out last night. “Get your ass up and come on or I will leave your drunken ass here and go to Cabo by myself!” I yell at him.
His eyes shoot open and he lays there for a moment blinking his eyes and gathering his bearings. He jerks into a sitting position mumbling something about needing to take a shower.
“Jace, we don’t have time for you to take a shower, we need to get to the airport to check in early, international flights take forever to get through security. We need to get going.” I huff and head towards the door.
Working our way through the airport is a torture all on its own. Seeing that I swear Jace is still drunk, I am lugging both suitcases, our carry on bags and of course Jace through the airport to check in and get through security. When we finally make it to the terminal to wait for boarding I am exhausted. I plop down into those uncomfortable waiting seats and throw our carry-ons in the seat beside me. Jace takes the seat on the other side of me and is snoring again, instantly. I honestly think he was sleep waking through the airport.
When I hear mine and Jace’s name called over the intercom system, I freeze. I hope like hell they are not going to throw us off the plane cause he is so drunk. I stand and make my way to the boarding counter.
“I am Jordan, Jace is sleeping in the chair right now. Is there anything wrong?”
“No ma’am, do you have your boarding passes on you.”
“Sure, here they are.” I answer as I hand the attendant our passes.
She takes the passes from me and hands me two new ones in place of them. “Congratulations on your nuptials, Please enjoy your flight.”
I take the passes and make my way back to where Jace is still snoring. Looking at the tickets I realize that the airline has upgraded us to first class seating. Damn, they must really feel sorry for me. Maybe this trip won’t be so bad.
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Our flight from Raleigh-Durham International Airport to Houston where we had our layover was awesome. I have never sat in first class and looking back, I doubt I will ever like flying coach again. It just doesn’t seem fair. Jace of course slept through the entire flight while I enjoyed nice plush seats, a free breakfast of scrambled eggs, ham and toast with Mimosas, and free ear buds to hear the movie playing on the headrest of the seat in front of me. Nothing like coach. If we were in coach, we would have gotten a bag of peanuts and soda. We would have had to pay for any alcohol and earphones as well as the televisions back there are strategically placed throughout the plane.
When we finally reach Houston, we have a one hour layover before we can finish our plane ride out of the country. Jace finally wakes up and lets me know he is starving. I can do nothing but laugh at him. I am full of a nice hot breakfast and alcohol.
“What are you laughing about?”
“Well if you weren’t so hung-over you could have had breakfast on the plane. Do you even realize we were in first class?”
“What? How the hell did I miss that?”
“You were snoring and we tried to wake you. I had ham and eggs and toast. I also got free Mimosas.”
“You suck, you could have woke me up.”
“Honey, you sat in the seat in Raleigh and was out. I had to buckle your seatbelt and neither myself nor the stewardess was able to get your seat in the upright position for takeoff or landing. We just gave up.” I snicker.
“Well I am hungry, can I get something to eat before we catch our next flight.” He whines.
“Sure, anything you want darling.”
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Flying into Cabo San Lucas, Mexico was an event I will never forget for the rest of my life. Los Cabos airport is supposed to be an international airport but I swear the plane landed on a dirt landing strip. No joke. There are a bunch of old buildings and ba
rns that I can see from out my window, but nothing else. When the plane finally taxi’s to a stop and we begin to debark the plane I notice there is not a terminal. At least not a terminal like I am used to seeing.
We walk down the steps of the plane onto the tarmac. Yes it is paved but that is all. We are all escorted to customs by armed gunmen. I thought I just flew into paradise, apparently not. Looks like I just flew into a prison. Actual Customs here is not much different. We get our passports ready as the passengers are all sent into lines for Customs. The security here is like playing “Red light, Green light, Stop light”, literally. When you get to the front of the line you push a button and there is a stoplight in front of you that flashes either “red” or “green”. “Green” means you can go through with no hesitation, “Red” means you are escorted to the side for a baggage search. Thank the Lord my light was “Green” because from the looks of these people, I would die if they searched me.
The resort we are staying at has sent a car service to pick us up from the airport rather than us having to take a cab. The car service is supposed to be a safer method of transportation since you run the risk as a tourist of getting robbed by a cab driver. Well, at this point I think I would have taken my chances with the cab. This driver is insane. Oh and just so you know, stoplights and stop sings in Mexico are a suggestion. Actually so are the lanes on the roads as well as the speed limits. I am in the back seat with Jace looking for more seatbelts. This dude is hauling ass down a two lane road, three cars abreast and he is not even looking at the road. People are everywhere, cars cutting each other off, pedestrians walking, not running, through traffic and this guy is turned around asking us if we want to stop and buy alcohol. The way this drive is going maybe I should ask for a last meal also, seeing I am probably going to die before we get to the resort.
CHAPTER 13
One week in Cabo
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico is a beautiful place. Well it is once you get to the resort area anyway. The resort we stay in is a Five Star Resort with an onsite Spa and Gym, live shows daily, and three separate pools with one of them scheduled for daily activities like water aerobics and volleyball.
Our room is gorgeous with a full kitchen, a king sized bed, two bathrooms with both boast nice garden tubs, a balcony overlooking the Pacific Ocean and porcelain tile throughout. Once we are checked in and have put our luggage in the room, we set out for a bit of sightseeing through the resort. There are lots of amenities here but we found a nice pool down by the sea wall that is attached to a gill and bar that serve stone cooked handmade pizzas. You can sit in the pool and just raise your hand for the bartenders to bring your drink to you. I may have just found my weeklong oasis.
After we have finished checking the resort out we decide to eat dinner at one of the restaurants on site before heading to the room to get some rest. Jace is still getting over a hangover and it seems like the three hour time difference has taken its toll on both of us. Resort restaurants are awesome. The food is great and they always know how to do a good presentation. They also have nightly dinner shows that work hard to get the diners involved. Though we were tired as hell, we end up at the restaurant for over three hours. Dragging ass we finally make it back to the room and crash.
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Day two of our honeymoon we decide to venture out into town for a little sight seeing. Jace also wants to go by the marina and check out prices for a deep sea fishing trip. The area around the marina is a bit run down but does have a lot of quaint little tourist shops for buying souvenirs and such. Knowing that if I don’t take care of it now that I will forget, I roam around and get the kids a few destination t-shirts, my mom and my mother-in-law both a set of wind chimes, and we check out a few of the bars and restaurants in the area.
Cabo Wabo was a nice place to visit. This is Sammy Hagar’s restaurant and bar and there are lots of photo’s and memorabilia from different singers and bands that have either visited or played there. Sammy, however, was no where to be found but one of the employees stated that he would be back in for a huge annual party they have in two weeks. Damn, I hate we are going to miss that. It would be so cool to actually meet the famous singer. Before leaving we decide to buy a bottle of the very expensive Cabo Wabo tequila.
Jace gets a nice price for fishing and we schedule a daylong trip tomorrow. It has always been his dream to fish for Blue Marlin but where we are from you have to travel forty miles off the coast to possibly find them in the Gulf Stream. That normally costs over a thousand dollars. Here, the Gulf Stream travels about two miles off the coast and the daylong fishing trip is only a quarter the price that we would have to pay on the east coast.
On the way back to the room we decide to stop and eat dinner at a place highly recommended by the locals for a great seafood dinner. When we arrive, I am almost scared to get out of the car. This place is off the beaten path and I feel like we are gonna get mugged between the valet and the door. Once inside, my opinion completely changes. The inside is quaint and has a bit of a romantic feel. We share a seafood platter for two and I will say that they had the absolute best Sea Bass I have ever tasted. Maybe this place is not so bad after all.
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The next day is a fishing day and while I could care less about going out and watching fishing line all day long, I go along to spend time with Jace. He is so excited, he looks like a kid in a candy store. I don’t want to disappoint him. I did have fun though and took lots and lots of pictures. While I didn’t have any need to fish, I did enjoy seeing whales and sea turtles. It was also a shock to see the way Marlins act in the wild. I have seen pictures and heard lots of stories but never experienced it in person until now. They sun themselves by laying flat against the surface of the ocean almost looking dead. That is until they are on the move, when they are hooked, they jump and flail around, it is such a beautiful sight to see.
Jace tried to hook a few of them but had no such luck. He did talk me into trying to real in something one time. I am used to fishing in freshwater ponds and streams for Bass or Catfish. I could not believe how much of a fight these big fish put up. I reeled that fish in for over thirty minutes before I got it close enough to gaff and pull into the boat. My very first Mahi. I was excited, but my body hurt. My muscles were sore and I needed a nap. I let Jace get back to his fishing while I relaxed in one of the other fishing chairs for the rest of the trip.
At the end of the day Jace hadn’t caught his Marlin but we had plenty of Mahi on the boat. Since the resorts are picky about storing fish in their refrigerators, we donated everything we caught to the families around the marina, at least the food would go to good use. We paid the boat captain and tipped the first mate before making our way back to the resort. I was so tired when we got there I ran a huge bubble bath and laid back to soak my sore muscles. After a few minutes I heard Jace on the phone. Thinking he was checking on the kids I relaxed and let him talk, not really paying attention because if there was anything wrong, for sure he would tell me. Fifteen minutes later he joined me.
“How are the kids?” I ask.
“What do you mean, I haven’t talked to them.”
“Then who were you on the phone with?” I question.
“That was Wayne, he wanted to know how the fishing went.”
“Seriously, tell me you didn’t make an international call to talk about fishing?”
“Yeah, sorry it won’t happen again. I just had to brag a little.”
“It better not, that shit isn’t cheap. I’m gonna go call and check on the kids.” I remark as I reach for the towel and make my way out of the tub.
After talking to the kids for a few minutes and telling them how much I miss them and hearing them tell me about what they have been doing, I hang up the phone and head to bed. I am exhausted and swear I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
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The fourth day is my day and I plan on sitting in that pool and drinking until I am shriveled up li
ke a prune. After ordering breakfast from room service and taking a shower to shave, we throw on our swimsuits and head to the pool. I order a drink that the restaurant calls a PaiMai and lower myself into the water. A few minutes later, the bartender brings me this funny looking pineapple with straws sticking out of the top. They have taken pieces of fruit and designed a face on the front of the pineapple so that it looks like a tropical version of Mr. Potato Head. One sip and I am hooked.
I think the purpose of the multiple straws is to share the drink, however, they are so good I don’t want to let anyone even have a taste. Three hours later and I think I am ordering my sixth one, when the bartender comes and asks if I would like a different drink that I have personally run them out of fresh pineapples. I burst out laughing and address our new friends in the pool. There are two more couples seated with us, one couple are newlyweds also while the other are just dating and on vacation.
“So, what do you guys want to drink, I’m buying.”
Faith, the newlywed shrugs her shoulders.
I ask the bartender, “Do you know how to make a Chocolate Cake Shot?”
“Oh I love those.” Kathy calls out to me. She is the other female in the group. The one that has just gotten a new boob job and has no qualms about showing them and the surgery scar off. Believe me, every time I turn around she is taking off her top and showing us. If I wasn’t so wasted, I would probably be pissed she kept showing them to my husband.
“I don’t do shots and I have chocolate.” Faith answers.
“Please just one?” I beg her.
She looks at her husband, he nods his head before she returns her eyes to me and answers, “Okay, just one.”
Since the bartender didn’t know what I was talking about I had to get out of the pool and show him how they are made. I return to the pool carrying three shot glasses, the guys are all drinking beer so I hand out the sweet little concoctions to the girls. Holding mine in the air I shout “Cheers!” before tossing my head back and slamming it.