“Ouch! You’re hurting me.” I pulled my hands away.
“Sorry, babe. Come here.” He pulled me up from the chair.
I followed him into the living room, and we sat on the couch together.
“Listen to me, baby. I ’ont know too much about the AIDS virus, other than it can kill you. What I do know is that I love you, and there’s nothing than can separate us but us. I love you, Destiny, and I’m not going anywhere. As a matter of fact, after the divorce is final, I want to marry you. You are the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and we are going to fight this together.”
I looked into his eyes. I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t form. I lay my head on his chest and cried.
“The worst part is, I don’t know how I’m going to tell Amaiya,” I cried.
“Tell me what?” Amaiya said as she walked into the living room.
I sat there frozen. Now wasn’t the time. I wasn’t ready.
“Tell me what, Ma?” she asked again.
“Let me step out. I got a few runs to make. I’ll call you later,” Spencer said, and then he kissed me on the cheek and left.
“Sit down, baby.”
Please, God, give me the strength, I thought.
“Listen, baby, while I was at the hospital, I found out that I was infected with the AIDS virus. I know you learned about that in school.”
“What? I know you get that from sex. Did Daddy give it to you?”
“I don’t know, baby. All I know is that I got it.”
“I freaking hate him. You’re a clean person. He was the one cheating. I hate him, Ma, I swear,” she cried.
I grabbed my baby girl and squeezed her. “I love you, sugar. Don’t you worry about yo’ mama. I got this, you hear me?”
“Ma, I ain’t going to college. I’m going to stay here and take care of you.”
“Nonsense. You will go to medical school like you planned. Mama is stronger than you think.” I tried my best not to break down in front of her.
We continued talking as I tried to convince her that her mama was fine. Deep down, I was screaming for help. I didn’t know how I was going to make it. Depression was setting in, and my mental state was diminishing. I wanted it all to go away—fast.
Chapter Fourteen
Hassan Clarke
Six Months Later . . .
“I’m telling you, somebody set me the fuck up. I don’t give a fuck what ballistics say, I did not kill Imani,” I yelled.
“OK, say that is wrong. How do you explain the tape? You were on it confessing to getting Corey killed, and they found it in your room. The prosecutor’s case is solid. I’m going in here to defend you, but how can I defend you against a tape that you’re the star actor in? I can’t. You’re one of the best in the business. You know it don’t look good.”
“Man, I can’t plead guilty to some shit that I didn’t do. As far as the tape, I was drinking. That bitch might have slipped something in my drink. I know it sounds strange, but there’s no other way to explain it, man. That bitch Destiny might be tied up in this. Shit, she knew about Imani. She must have taken my gun, shot her, and put it back to frame me.”
He looked at me as if I were tripping. Shit, it was farfetched ’cause that bitch was a coward, but there was no other explanation.
“Yea, we looked at that too, but there is no evidence that supports that claim. Your wife doesn’t seem like the kind that could hurt a fly. I could be wrong, but I need evidence. Something that shows reasonable doubt.”
“Yea, I know,” I hung my head down.
I went back to my cell, wondering about everything. How did that gun leave my house and kill Imani and get back into my drawer? Did Destiny hate me that much, that she framed me for murder, and what about Imani? Why did she record our conversation and us having sex? My brain was hurting. I needed an outlet to let out all this aggravation.
The thought of not having Imani around was killing me softly. I swear to God, I loved that bitch, even though she pulled a fucked-up-ass move. Now her ass was dead, and I’m locked up for murdering her.
* * *
After another month of back and forth with the DA’s office, my lawyer informed me that a trial date was set. I was adamant about going to trial to prove my case. There was no way in hell I was going to confess to some shit that I didn’t do. Mama was heartbroken because she couldn’t bear to see me in shackles. It broke my heart that she had to go through that. What was strange was Destiny. Her ass didn’t bother to come see me. See, where I’m from, loyalty is everything. It don’t matter if we fuss and fight each other. That ho should’ve been right beside me fighting these motherfuckers. I would’ve never done her like that, but if God helped my black ass, and I get out of this hellhole, that bitch would never speak to me—ever again. Mark my fucking words. That ho is dead to me.
* * *
A day before the trial started, I called my lawyer and told him I wanted to take a plea. In my heart, it was not the best move for me, but being an attorney, I knew if I went to trial, those crackers were going to burn my black ass. After talking to Mama, I decided to plea out. Maybe then, I would have a chance to see the streets again.
Just maybe, I thought.
Destiny Clarke
Hassan’s lawyer came to the house a few times, fishing. He would ask me the same questions over and over. See, Mama didn’t raise no fool, and I was married to an attorney. I knew he was trying to see if I was involved in anything. Hell nah, I ain’t involved in no murder. Shit, if you checked, I didn’t have as much as a speeding ticket. Oh, I’m happy that I used that Obama phone when I contacted Imani. I was ready to put Hassan and his whore out of my life for good. He tried calling my phone a few times, but I put a block on it after the third time.
It was a quiet day at home. I was feeling tired because I had a herpes breakout, and all my energy was drained. I realized after I was diagnosed with the virus that I started to have outbreaks more frequently. I cleaned up the house, then decided to lie on the couch.
The doorbell rang. I got up to see who the fuck came to my house without calling first. I put my eyes up to the peephole and noticed a woman standing out there holding a baby.
“Hello, how may I help you?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized it was the white bitch that was sucking my husband’s cock in the living room.
“I-I’m looking for Hassan. I want him to take his son. Help me out a little, you know?”
I looked down at the little white-colored monkey she was holding.
“Say what? Hassan does not live here anymore and do your homework the next time before you knock on my fucking door,” I warned.
“Damn, you don’t have to be rude. I’m going through a rough time. My parents are riding my ass, so I decided that I didn’t want to be there.”
“So, what I’m trying to understand is that you’re saying this little bastard belongs to Hassan, and you’re here because . . .?”
“I’m here because he needs his daddy. He is your husband, so if he’s not here, you can watch him until he gets here.”
I took a deep breath. This bitch had no idea how tempted I was to drag her little hundred-pound frame into the house and beat her to death, but I dismissed that idea fast. The bitch is white, so I know the police would be all over the place, causing havoc.
I took a step down onto the outside step. “Listen, you little cracker bitch. Hassan is not here and won’t be here ever again. Now, take your little illegitimate mutt and get the fuck off my property before I drag your white ass across this lawn. Don’t you ever ring my fucking doorbell again.”
“Damn, you’re a cold bitch. He’s only a baby. He didn’t ask to come in this world. He’s innocent.”
“Bitch, I don’t give a fuck about you or that mutt. Now, go on before I lose it. And for the record, the next time you open your legs, make sure it’s with a nigga that can take care of a child. Also, please, go get checked out for HIV. That nigga is spreadi
ng the virus.”
Her face turned pink after I said that.
“Lady, you’re sick. Stop making up things. I love Hassan, and that won’t change.” She turned around to walk off.
I watched as she strapped the bastard in, then got into her car and drove off. I looked around, stepped back inside, and closed the door. Jeez, what’s up with these hoes, telling me that they’re fucking that bum? I mean, at one point, I was gone over the cock. But those days were long gone. A bitch like me didn’t give a damn anymore. Shit, you fucking him means I don’t have to fuck him.
“Ha-ha,” I chuckled to myself and locked the door. “These young bitches will never learn.”
* * *
So, the mailman came, and I got a letter in the mail. I knew right then it was from Hassan. I thought about throwing it in the trash, but my nosy behind decided to rip it open. I was eager to see what that fool was talking about.
My Love, Destiny,
I’m sitting here in this cold cell, wondering what I have done to you for you to abandon me like this. I loved you from the first day I laid eyes on you, and up to today, I’m still in love with you. I know I have not been the best husband to you, but I tried my best. I never had any love when I was growing up. I didn’t want to treat you the way my daddy treated my mama, because it was nothing short of hell.
I remember the way you used to smile at my silly little jokes, and when I touched you, the way your body shivered. I know I can’t erase the past, but, please, know my soul yearns for you. If I ever make it out of here, I will make sure you get treated like a queen. I know you’re upset right now, but I’m begging for your forgiveness. Those bitches didn’t mean shit to me. I was only screwing them. I only wanted you. I swear on my mama’s life.
I know these folks saying all kinds of bad things about me, but, please, don’t believe any of it. You know the real me. You know I ain’t no murderer. I might talk that shit, but I would never kill anyone. Anyway, it’s chow time, and I have to run. Please, kiss my daughter for me and let her know her daddy loves her. Please, fill out the visitation form so you can see me soon. I love you, woman, with everything in me.
Hassan, your husband
I balled the paper up and threw it in the trash in the kitchen. I wanted to laugh, but the shit was serious. This bum almost killed me, and now he was professing his love for me? That shit made me sick to my stomach. This nigga just didn’t know how much hate I had for him, but he will know soon, though.
* * *
My lawyer called to let me know Hassan pled out. Instead of going to trial and facing me, that bum pled guilty. That was so him. He had all the balls to hurt a woman, but in the end, he bitched up and took a plea. I’m not going to lie. I was disappointed because I was looking forward to my day in court when I would sit there and face the coward that almost killed me.
Oh well, I will be there, sitting in the front row, when it was time for him to get sentenced. I wanted him to see my face for the last time because I will be permanently closing that chapter of my life.
I felt bad for my child because even though she didn’t show it, I knew she loved him. After all, he has been in her life since birth. I planned on getting her some counseling when it was all over.
* * *
The day of his sentencing came very quickly. I was one of his victims, so the DA asked me to speak. I gladly accepted. I got up early and got dressed in an all-black Vera Wang pant suit. I had my hair pinned up so that my face would show. I used minimum makeup. I kept in mind I was going to court, not the club.
I dropped Amaiya at school and made it to the Grand Concourse. His sentencing would begin at 9:00 a.m., and I didn’t want to get there late.
Traffic was bumper to bumper, and horns were honking everywhere. I remained cool and waited until it was my turn. I woke up in a great mood and didn’t want anything to draw me out. I finally made it to the courthouse in enough time to park, put money in the meter, and run upstairs.
On the way in, I passed Hassan’s mother, sister, and what looked like his whole damn family. His mama shot me a dirty look, and I stared back at the bitch, daring her to try it. I beat her ass once and wouldn’t have an issue with doing it again. I continued walking toward the courtroom. I heard his sister scream something in the far distance. I turned around to answer her, but instead, shook my head. As a queen, I was tired of addressing these fucking hood buggers. All of them combined didn’t have a pot to piss in. If I were in their shoes, I would be upset also because their money machine was broken and God knows... They’re going to be a bunch of hungry bitches. Silently, I straightened my jacket and walked into the courtroom.
All eyes were set on me. I took a seat in the first row behind the prosecutor. I didn’t like the police, but fuck it. We were on the same team right now. Team “Lock Up That Nigga.”
A few minutes later, the bailiff brought Hassan in. Damn. What a sight he was. His cheeks were sunken in, and his body looked like he was malnourished. The clean cut he used to wear was long gone. I swear, if I passed him on the streets, I would not have known this was him. To say the nigga was looking bad would be an understatement. He stared at me before sitting down. I looked him dead in the eyes until he turned away.
After the judge came in, the lawyers and prosecutors went back and forth. Then the judge asked if anyone wanted to speak.
“Yes, Your Honor. Mrs. Clarke is the defendant’s wife and also one of his victims.”
I stood up and gracefully walked to the stand. I glanced around to see who was in the courtroom.
“Your Honor, my name is Destiny Clarke. I married the defendant over seventeen years ago, and ever since then, my life has been nothing but hell. This man has put me through so much pain, some of it, I can’t mention because I’m too embarrassed.
“One night, while I was asleep, he attacked me. First, he tried to rape me, and when I fought back, he beat me down. I asked him to leave my house, but, instead, he stayed there to terrorize me. The last straw was when he beat me unconscious and pulled a gun on me. If it weren’t for the help of the officers that night, I would not be here today.
“Your Honor, I’m scared for my life and also for my daughter’s life. I beg you to sentence him to life, Your Honor, because anything else would be unjust.” I wiped the tears that were freely flowing. Quickly, I glanced over at his table and saw he had his head down.
“Thank you, Mrs. Clarke. You may step down now.”
I walked hurriedly back to my seat. I was so nervous while I was on the stand. I hoped I did well enough.
“Does anyone else have anything to say?”
“Yes, Your Honor. Mr. Clarke’s mother wants to address the court.”
That bitch. What the fuck could she say? She raised him to be a bitch-ass nigga. I watched as her fat gorilla-looking ass walked toward the front.
“Hello, Your Honor and the Court. Hassan Clarke is my only son, and, Your Honor, my son is a gentle, caring man. I have never seen him raise his voice or hit anyone. Your Honor, he is not the wicked person they are painting him to be. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, Your Honor. The real killer is out there because my son is innocent of all charges. Your Honor, as a mother, I’m begging you to sentence him to probation so he can come home to his family . . . his real family.” She broke down crying.
I didn’t know who that bitch was talking about, but it damn sure wasn’t her son. She raised him like that. Now, she’s trying to dress that shit up. Bitch, that was a good performance, but I did not believe you.
“Your Honor, the defendant pled guilty to a lesser charge, which is second-degree manslaughter and aggravated assault. We ask that you sentence him to twenty-five years in prison and five years’ probation.”
“Well, Mr. Clarke, please stand up. This case is difficult for me because I’ve worked with you before on a case. Like your mother, that’s the man that I know, but we are not here because of the man that you used to be. We are here for the inhumane acts you’ve committed. Based on the e
vidence, I hereby sentence you to twenty years in prison and five years’ probation.”
“Your Honor, I didn’t do this shit,” he screamed. “Please, believe me,” he yelled some more.
“Fuck you, Destiny. You goin’ get yours, bitch. I promise you will,” he yelled.
“Counselor, please control your client, or he will be removed.”
“Go ahead. I didn’t do this. I’m going to sue all y’all.”
“Bailiff, remove Mr. Clarke from the courtroom,” the judge yelled.
Everybody gasped and started whispering to each other.
“If we’re finished here, the court is adjourned.”
I hung my head down in shame. I regretted knowing this fool. The big bulky Hassan was a little, scared-ass punk today. I got up and turned to leave. As soon as I got to the door, his bitch-ass sister blocked my path.
“You know that’s fucked up how you get on that stand and lied like that. My brother has been nothing but good to you and your daughter. You turned on him when he needed you the most.”
“Little bitch, listen up. Unless you was fucking and sucking your brother, you have no idea the piece of shit he really is. I lived with the bastard, so I know. Now, get the fuck out of my way before I move you my damn self like I did yo’ ugly-ass mama.”
“You know what, bitch? Karma is a motherfucker, and you goin’ get yours.”
“So, it must be safe to say that your brother got his.” I shoved that bitch to the side and strolled down the stairs.
What a bunch of peasants. I hope I never have to see them people anymore. I stepped out into the sun, put on my glasses, and walked to my car. I felt like a burden was lifted off my shoulders.
Chapter Fifteen
Hassan Clarke
It took a lot to break a nigga like me. I barely ever shed a tear in my entire life. Only today was different... to sit and watch the State crucify me as if I were an animal, then rip my soul out, when the ho I gave my last name to took the stand and begged the judge to sentence me to life. All I ever did was cheat on her, and this was what she did to pay me back? I shook my head in disbelief. My mama was hurting, and so was I. I heard the pain in her voice as she begged the judge to send me home. A tear fell from my eye as Mama’s words echoed in my mind. I wanted to hold her, let her know that I will always be her baby boy, and I wouldn’t stop fighting until I got home to her. I looked at my pops, and as usual, he didn’t wear an expression. I know he was also hurting. He just wasn’t good at showing emotions.
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