“Mama, I am so sorry for the shit I said to you. I wish I could take it all back,” I cried as I knelt on the ground.
I had so much anger and hatred in my heart toward that nigga, Hassan, the bitch he married, and the little slut they called their love child. See, my life was fucking good up until the point when that bitch walked into our lives. I didn’t know the full story, but I knew enough to know that my mama’s blood was on their hands.
* * *
I sat in my one-bedroom apartment on Gun Hill Road and watched my mama on a video that I found the day I was cleaning out her things a year ago. She had it stuffed in an old sock. I thought it was a sex tape at first, so I just threw it into a bag. God knows the last thing I needed was to see her butt-ass naked, screwing a nigga. However, something about it kept nudging at me, so I got it and slid it into a little camcorder I bought. It was my mama in the flesh.
“This message is for anyone that is watching this. I’m about to meet Destiny Clarke, Hassan Clarke’s wife. I am making this video because I don’t trust her. This bitch is jealous of my relationship with Hassan. He is about to leave her, and he and I are going to get married. I am scared for my life because this woman kidnapped me before and kept me hostage in her basement. She did let me go but threatened to kill my son and me if I went to the police. If anything happens to me, please don’t let her get away with it. I hope I’m just paranoid, but my gut feeling tells me that my intuition is correct.”
“Mama,” I yelled out as the tape went blank, and her face disappeared from the screen.
I sat there for a minute as I tried to digest everything that I’d just heard. I’d never met the bitch that she mentioned, but I knew she had caused so much havoc in our lives. I wondered what Mama was meeting her for, and why was she so sure the bitch was going to hurt her. I couldn’t ask Mama because she was dead, so that left only one person—the bitch that had all of the answers.
Hassan Clarke
I had about a week before I was scheduled to get shipped. I wasn’t sure where they were sending me yet. I guess I would just have to wait and see. I was tired of pumping weights all day. That was the only way I could pass the time. My arm was sore from the push-ups, so I took a hot shower and decided to lie back on the bunk and take a quick nap. I had to welcome sleep when it did show up because ever since I got sentenced, I could barely sleep at night.
I turned the music on and put my headphones in my ear. That punk, CeCe, wasn’t in the cell, so I felt a little bit relaxed. I closed my eyes as that nigga Plies’s song, “Tha Realest One,” blared through the little radio that they sold in the commissary. I was in my zone, plotting on ways that I was going to kill that bitch when I made it out of this cell.
I thought I felt something touch me, but I brushed it off as just my nerves. That was... until I felt a weight on top of me.
“What the fuck you doing, nigga?” I opened my eyes and saw that it was CeCe’s big cock diesel-looking ass on top of me with a hard-ass dick.
I yanked the earpiece out and threw that faggot-ass nigga off of me. Then I jumped on him and started pounding his face into the cement floor. The punk bitch started hollering in his feminine voice.
“Help, help me. Guard, please help me,” he screamed.
The sound of his faggot-ass voice only sent me into a mad state of mind. I took his head and banged it onto the floor until blood started spewing out.
“Fight, fight!” another punk hollered.
“Clarke, get off him. Get the hell off him,” one of the guards ordered.
I wasn’t trying to hear that shit, so I continued putting the hurt on him.
Whap! Whap! Whap! The guard hit me on my back. I jumped up because I was about to attack his ass too. “Step the hell back before I use this on you.” He raised the baton and aimed it at me.
“Nigga, fuck you. This motherfucker tried to rape me,” I yelled.
“Lock down the unit. I repeat, lock down the unit,” he commanded on his radio.
By then, three other guards rushed inside of the cell.
“Holy shit! What did you do, man?” The female guard looked down at CeCe and then back at me.
“Man, y’all deaf? This motherfucker tried to fucking rape me. I ain’t no damn faggot. I told y’all niggas not to put him in the cell with me, but y’all ain’t listen to me.”
“Take him out of here, put him in solitary, and call medical down here, right now.”
“Let’s go. Yo’ ass is in some big shit.”
I didn’t say shit because I was tired of repeating the same shit over and over. I was in pain from the guard hitting me, and I could barely walk straight.
“Yo, I need to go to medical.”
“Nah, the only place you’re going to is solitary. You know the nurse is coming through, so fill out a sick call form.”
“Nigga, I’m hurting now from that damn hit.”
He ignored me and just led my ass to solitary, but I was happy when I got there. I was still fuming from that fuck nigga trying me like that. I loved pussy, and I didn’t give a fuck how long I was locked up. Another nigga could never hold my interest. That nigga straight violated me. He was a bold-ass punk coming at a straight nigga like that. I swear, they better keep me in isolation until I got shipped because if they don’t, I was gonna finish that punk off.
Chapter Twenty-one
Destiny Clarke
I finally found a house in White Plains, which wasn’t too far from Mama. I was excited because it was a bigger house, and it was in a much-nicer neighborhood. The house was in my name, but Spencer gave me half of the money. He had offered to pay all of the money, but being the type of woman I was, I decided to go half. There was no way that I was going to let myself fall for any kind of foolery anymore. I wanted to make sure that if anything happened to me, my baby was going to be secure. I was the only person she had that she could rely on. I kept Amaiya at her school because it was her last year, and I didn’t want to pull her out. I would have to drive her back and forth every day.
Amaiya and I were bringing in a few things that were left in the car. Spencer had to be in the office that day and had left earlier, so it was only us girls.
“Hey, Mama, can I ask you something?”
“Yes, sure.” I looked at her.
“How do you know when somebody is the right one?”
“The right one for what?” I put the box on the counter and turned to face her.
“The right boy.”
I looked at her and then swallowed hard. I was very careful about how I answered her question.
“Well, baby, I mean, you’ll know. You’ll feel it in your gut, and when you see him, your stomach will be doing flips.”
“Hmm. Interesting.”
“Do you feel that way about someone?” I looked at her, afraid of the answer that I might get.
“Well, kind of. I don’t know yet. I do feel the things you described. So, he may be the one.”
“How long have you been seeing this boy, and who is he?”
“Ma, I’ve been talking to him for a little over a month, and he’s from the Bronx. You don’t know him. So, Ma, did you feel like that for Daddy?”
My stomach turned as soon as she mentioned that bastard. I swear, I blocked out everything about that nigga. I tried not to even think of his name. I was so over him and all of his bullshit.
She must’ve seen the look on my face. “Sorry, Ma. I know things are still painful for you.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I squeezed her hand. “Baby, I know you’re growing up and all, but you still have time to fall in love. Right now, you need to focus on finishing school and going away to college.”
“Ma, I make straight A’s, and I’m going to college, remember? I’m not doing anything to let you down.”
I couldn’t even say anything. She was right. She was doing great in school. Graduation was right around the corner, and she was going away to college in Buffalo in the fall. I should’ve been grateful that my
only child was not pregnant or screwing every little boy out there. As far as I knew, she was still a virgin.
“Amaiya, are you still a virgin?”
“Ma, why would you ask me that? I think that’s private.”
“I’m your mother. Ain’t no privacy. Baby, if you’re having sex, can you please let me know so I can put you on birth control?”
“Mother, I’m not having sex, and, yes, if I decide to, I will let you know,” she replied sarcastically and walked off.
I stood there thinking, She doesn’t know how lucky she is. I wish I had the opportunity to choose who I wanted to sleep with. Instead, that old bastard took away my innocence and scarred me for life. I’m going to make sure my baby doesn’t have to go through that shit. As long as I’m breathing, I will make sure that a nigga never takes anything from my daughter that she doesn’t agree to.
* * *
Spencer called and asked me to get dressed. I learned never to question where we were going. All I knew was the man was full of surprises. I looked in my closet and realized that it was time to do some shopping. I was going to get rid of all of my old clothes and buy some younger, sexier clothes to show off the little weight that I had lost.
By the time I finished dressing, I heard a horn blowing. I was dressed in a skintight dress and some sandals to complement it. Quickly, I grabbed my Dooney & Bourke clutch purse and my keys.
“Amaiya, I’m stepping out for a little while. Lock up these doors and call me if you need me.”
“A’ight, Ma,” she yelled back.
I doubted that child heard a word that I said. She was still giggling on the telephone. Whatever that boy was saying must’ve been hitting the spot. I laughed to myself, set the alarm, and sashayed out the door.
I smiled as I spotted my sexy lover standing outside of the car, waiting for me. I walked up to him and fell into his arms.
“Hey, love. Hmm, you smell good. Maybe we need to stay in tonight.”
I poked him and burst out laughing. “You’re so damn nasty.”
“But, you love you some me.” He hugged me tightly. “Let’s go, lady.” He walked to my side and opened the door.
I got in the car, and then, he got behind the wheel and pulled off.
“So, where are we off to, Mr. Mysterious?”
“Relax, babe. I got you.”
I smiled and closed my eyes as I lowered my seat. I loved how I was feeling. I wanted that forever, but somehow, I thought it might not last. I hoped it was just my mind playing tricks on me.
The smooth rhythm of Luther Vandross’s voice came through the speaker, definitely putting me in a serene mood. I felt peaceful as he reached over and took my hand in his. This was definitely the kind of love that you only saw in the movies. This was our fairy-tale life, and I didn’t want it ever to end.
He pulled up to Benjamin Steakhouse. It was an upscale restaurant that celebrities frequented. I knew the man had some connections, but this was definitely a different kind of scenery. Once we were seated at our table, I ordered the seafood platter while he ordered a steak meal. I also ordered red wine to go along with my meal. After we finished eating, Spencer scooted closer to me. I knew he wasn’t trying to get any pussy at the table, so that seemed strange.
“Woman, you know I’m in love with you, right?”
“Yup, and I’m in love with you too, babe.”
He got up from the seat and knelt in front of me. I looked around, feeling kind of embarrassed that he was kneeling in front of me like that.
“Spencer, get up. Everybody’s looking at us.” I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up.
“Always and forever
Each moment with you
Is just like a dream to me . . .”
Luther Vandross’s song blasted loudly over our heads.
“Baby, Destiny, you’re my life and the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you be mine forever?”
He reached into his blazer pocket and pulled out a ring box. My throat got dry instantly, and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that the moment was real. I blinked to prevent the tears from falling. I looked around and saw that the other patrons were gathered around, smiling and clapping. I looked down at him still holding the ring in his hand.
“Spencer, yes. You know I want to marry you.” I started to cry.
He took the ring and placed it on my finger. The ladies in the crowd started yelling and clapping. He got up and hugged me, and we started kissing.
“You’re one lucky woman. Hold on to him, honey,” an older woman yelled.
“Can I have this dance?”
Spencer took my hand, and we danced to the sultry voice of Luther. I was an emotional wreck as I held on tightly to my future husband. I’d been down that road before, but this time, it felt different. I felt the strong hold that Spencer had on my heart.
I was floating on cloud nine because I knew that he loved me, and I loved him. However, I had no idea that he wanted to marry me. After all, I was damaged goods. On the way home, we were both silent. I guess we were caught up in our thoughts. I closed my eyes and imagined what our life would be like as husband and wife.
Chapter Twenty-two
Hassan Clarke
I finally got shipped to Clinton Correction Facility in Upstate, New York. I didn’t belong there because they housed some of the country’s most notorious criminals. It was funny because I frequented that very prison when I was an attorney.
I wasted no time once I hit the compound. I immediately flocked to the law library. I spent countless hours researching cases that were similar to mine. I used my expertise and knowledge of the law to aid me. I was determined to fight my case. I knew that they didn’t have any evidence on me because the truth was, I was nowhere near Imani when she got killed. There was no way that I was going to lie in there and take the blame for that.
I lay in my cube and wondered what the fuck Destiny was doing. I wondered if she were still fucking that nigga she dissed me for. It was fucked up that every letter I sent that bitch was returned. The bitch even went as far as turning my daughter against me. I would bet you any money that bitch had my daughter calling that other nigga, “Daddy.” The thought of that stirred up hatred in my heart. I have to get out of here, I thought before I jumped up and grabbed the papers that I had printed from the law library.
“You straight, partner?” My bunk mate, Junior, asked in his thick, Jamaican accent.
“Nah, son. I’ve got to get outta here. I won’t rest ’til I get outta here.”
“Well, dats sometin’ we all want. Hopin’ is not bad at all.”
“Fuck hoping. I didn’t do that shit. That bitch set me up.”
“Who, your wife?”
“Yes, that bitch killed my whore and blamed me.”
“Bloodclaat, you is serious, boss man. Di gyal set yuh up. Yo, some lick that gyal want inna har bomboclaat face.”
I tried my best to comprehend, but I couldn’t understand shit except for the fact that he was angry. I just looked at him and lay back on my bunk, burying my head deep into my thoughts.
Josiah Clarke
I was in a deep sleep when the buzzing of my phone interrupted me. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t. Damn, I had pulled an all-nighter and just lay down. I reached and picked up the phone from the nightstand.
“Yo,” I answered, still half-asleep.
“Hey, babe.” Her sexy voice woke me up.
“Hey, boo,” I responded.
“Boy, you know what time it is?”
“Nah, B, but you already know I was grindin’ all night, so a nigga is tired.”
“Yeah, I guess so. I was tryin’a see you today,” she whined.
“Lemme get a few hours of shut-eye. Then we can chill. Did yo’ mom say it was cool?”
“I ain’t ask her. I told her I was going to the mall with Trish.”
“That’ll work. A’ight, babe.” I hung the phone up and put it back on the table.
“Ha-ha,” I chuckled to myself. I rolled back over and thought back on the day that I met her.
After watching the video that Mama left, I knew I had to act fast. It was easy for me to find the address. I spent many days scoping out the scene while trying to figure out how I was going to get my revenge. I watched as Amaiya, yes, that was the little bitch, got in her car and left for school. I followed them and watched as she hopped out of the car and walked into Truman High School. The rest was easy.
Truman was like my old stomping ground, and I had a few homies who also attended that school. It wasn’t as easy as I thought. It took me almost three weeks before she even gave me any play. At first, she pretended like she wasn’t interested, but I could spot a freak a mile away, and her little ass was ready to fuck. That was then, and this is now. Amaiya Clarke was now officially my bitch. That bitch was looking for love, but for me, it was personal. Fucking her was an added bonus. What I really wanted was to fuck that little bitch while her mama watched. Be easy. Patience, I thought as I dozed off.
It was a little after 3:00 p.m. when I finally woke up. I felt good because that little nap really gave me life. I took a quick shower and rolled me a blunt of that Loud. I had to get my mind right before I met up with ole girl. I took a few pulls and then took a sip of some Peach Cîroc. The mixture of weed and alcohol had me feeling tipsy. I picked up my phone and dialed my bitch’s number. She didn’t pick up, so I hung up. That wasn’t like her. Normally, she would pick up on the first ring. I called right back.
“Hello,” she answered with an attitude.
“Yo, what’s good? You a’ight?”
“I’m mad as hell. Trish is on punishment, so she can’t go to the mall, and my mama trippin’, talking ’bout she got to meet you first.”
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