So Screwed

by Melissa Marino

  “I should say so. What does this all mean?”

  “I think it means that there’s a thing. We’re a thing.”

  I winked. “Glad we got that cleared up.”

  “Good. Okay, I have to get going,” she said, giving me a quick kiss before starting to move from my lap.

  “Hold up,” I said, gripping her hips to keep her put. “This whole thing started when I said there was one more thing to take care of to lock this thing down.”

  “Right. Okay. What’s that?”

  “We need to tell Callie and Aaron.”

  Chapter Eleven

  EVELYN—

  I could decide in a matter of minutes to commit to not seeing other guys, which in and of itself was a petrifying prospect, but something even scarier was facing Callie. I wasn’t going to worry about that now, though. Even though Abel offered to take me home, I knew he was just as exhausted as I was, so I left him sleepy and completely sexed in his bed after he called a cab for me. As I took my walk of shame from his apartment to the elevator, there was no doubt in my mind I was about to embark on an adventure I’d never known. Whether it was going to be one with a thrilling outcome or a disastrous one would remain to be seen, but it was going to be an adventure, nonetheless.

  I stepped inside the elevator and leaned against the back of it as it closed, dreamily remembering every detail of the night before. He was…everywhere. His hands, his mouth, his words encircled me, and no matter which way I turned there was him. The way he moved inside of me and losing my mind in how good he was. I’d push my eyes closed to move with it. Every time I’d open them, his blue eyes, his almost translucent blue eyes, would be watching me. I’d bring his mouth to mine and kiss him, all the time moving our bodies together. When I’d get close to coming, he’d lean his head against mine, whispering, “Look at me when you come.” His eyes were on me, followed me, and took me. From the restaurant to his bed, it was all on me. I’d never felt more wanted in my life.

  The elevator door opened, and as I stepped out still in a daze, a sight made me stop, become instantly alert, and run behind the large potted plant in the lobby. Abel’s father was talking to Rob the doorman, holding a coffee cup and I was hoping…leaving. Wait. Maybe coming would be better. I’d wait it out, squatting behind a fake palm tree, let him get in the elevator and then I could be off.

  “Did I tell you what little Lauren did?” Rob said. “I know you love these kids’ stories, so I always try to remember the best to share with you. So…”

  I lost my balance and gripped the end of a palm leaf to stop me from falling. Enough noise was made that both men turned to look to see what was going on, but I’d moved just in time before I was caught. At least I thought I was safe.

  “Hold up, Mr. Matthews,” Rob said. “Let me check this out.”

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  I was going to be dragged out from behind a lobby plant, wearing last night’s clothes, in front of my new boyfriend’s father. Rob’s shoes moved swiftly across the marble floor until my eyes were looking directly down at them.

  “I need out before he,” I whispered, pointing a finger at Mr. Matthews, “sees me.”

  Rob said nothing, just a wink, and I knew I was safe. He stepped away, carrying with him a loud, not very convincing monologue. “Oh, look at that, will you? Water is leaking all over from the pot. I need to get this taken care of before someone slips and gets hurt. I’ll catch you later, Mr. Matthews. You go on home to Mrs. Matthews, okay?”

  “Need me to call maintenance?” Mr. Matthews asked.

  “Nope!” Rob answered. “Got this covered! You go enjoy your cappuccino.”

  “Have a good day, then,” Mr. Matthews said.

  Rob’s body blocked my view, but based on the distance of his voice, he was close, which meant he was almost to the elevator…which also meant I was almost in the clear. A couple dings of the elevator door later, and Rob stepped away.

  He reached his hand down to help me up. “Well, well, well, Miss Evelyn.”

  “Hi Rob,” I said, standing. “Thank you. It’s a bit too early for me to have to deal with, well, you know.”

  “Not the first time I’ve had to help out a lady of—”

  His expression crumpled into embarrassment. Poor guy. He’d just done me a favor. Now I was going to give him one right back.

  “I’m sure Abel’s love life has revolved more than your door, Rob. You’re a gentleman for lending us a hand.”

  He sighed heavily. “I do my best.”

  * * *

  It was going to be a long day.

  Not only was the lack of sleep going to ruin me, but there wasn’t a part of my body that wasn’t aching from the night before. It was okay, though, because so much fun was had getting that way.

  I approached my apartment door and fished my keys out of my purse. What I really wanted to do was take a hot shower and a long nap, but that wasn’t going to happen. I had to be at the Drake in two hours to work what was going to be a very long day of wedding activities.

  I unlocked the door, and I was almost inside when—

  “Evelyn!”

  “Shit!” I screamed.

  Callie was standing in the middle of my living room, arms folded, and by the way she looked, wearing clothes from the night before as well. I clutched my chest, trying to find my breath again. She ran toward me, throwing her arms around my neck tight before letting go and pushing me.

  “What the hell?” I said, almost losing my balance and dropping my purse on the floor. “You scared the shit out of me standing there like that.”

  “Um, Evelyn. Where is your phone?” she asked. She was staring me down, and the only time she did that was when she was pissed at me.

  “In my purse. Why?”

  “Is it operational?”

  I giggled. “Operational? I’m sure it is—operational, that is.”

  “Oh, well fine. Go ahead and laugh. I’m glad your phone is working. I’m also glad that you probably know how to use it. But what I can’t figure out is why you didn’t answer it last night the hundred times I called you. Or why when you saw all those missed calls you didn’t call me back. What if I had an emergency? What if I needed you?”

  “Sorry,” I said with a sigh. I walked past her, heading toward my room. “I got caught up and my phone is dead.”

  “I’ve stayed up all night. I thought you were dead in the gutter. I was going to start calling hospitals.”

  “Dramatic much?”

  She gasped. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me. I was worried sick!”

  I stopped and turned, trying my best not to laugh at her. “Cal. I haven’t had to tell you where I was going in a long time, let alone if I was or wasn’t coming home. I spent the night at…a friend’s. And before you ask, yes, a man.”

  She stood staring, tapping her ratty pink Toms, which she kept at my house to use as slippers on the wood floor. I hadn’t seen her this mad in a long time. It rated up there with the time I created a dating profile for her on an online site without telling her. I was sure the “chance meeting” between her and the guy I’d picked out for her would go over perfectly. How was I supposed to know he was a liar and really a sixty-seven-year-old man?

  “I’m sorry if you were worried, but I’m going to have to ask for my key back. I’m a grown woman and—”

  “No. I’m not giving it back. This is the exact reason I have one. I was so worried I came here at four in the morning. Aaron is so concerned he tried calling Abel so they could split up and see if they could find you, but like you, he doesn’t answer his phone, either. I’m sure he was busy with a friend, too.”

  I snorted. Then I laughed. Snorted again. Laughed. Once. Twice. On the third time, I couldn’t stop. This wasn’t the way I wanted to tell her about Abel and me, but it looked like there was no time like the present. First running into his dad and now Callie? I hadn’t had to do so much sneaking around since I was in high school.

  “Okay, f
ine,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m glad you think this is so funny.”

  She stormed past me, mumbling about being surrounded by immature sex fiends. “Callie, come on,” I said. “Come back and I’ll explain.”

  Her hand fumbled with the knob on the door, but I knew she was being dramatic. There was no way she could stay mad at me. Plus, when I told her what I did and with who, she was going to want to know all the details.

  I plopped down on the couch, with Callie following, and kicked my shoes off onto the floor. “Now,” I said, turning to face her. “Before I start, you have to promise not to get mad at me.”

  “Oh no! Nope. You always do this,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Do what?”

  “Make me promise not to get mad and then tell me something that makes me mad, and then I can’t get mad because I promised I wouldn’t.”

  “Okay. Fine. I won’t make you promise, but please don’t freak out.”

  She twirled a lock of her auburn hair around her finger, as her eyes narrowed. “I don’t freak out.”

  I resisted the urge to snort again. “So, I’ve been seeing someone. Kind of. It’s very new, and we’ve only been out a few times, but I spent the night with him last night.”

  “Ev! This is fantastic news! Why would I get mad about that?”

  “Because I haven’t told you who it is yet.”

  The strand of hair she was twisting was getting tighter and tighter around her index finger as she considered who it might be. There was part of me that thought it was obvious, but then it occurred to me, several undesirable men have come and gone in my life over the years.

  “Wait,” she shouted. “It’s not that dude who runs the hot dog stand is it? I mean, I guess I could get over it if you were into him, but you have to talk to him about the socks with sandals situation. It’s wrong and you know it.”

  “Will you stop it with your hair? Your finger is turning purple,” I said, yanking her hand from her hair. “No. It isn’t hot dog Bob.”

  “Then who is it?”

  “It’s…well, it’s…Abel,” I whispered.

  My body recoiled on instinct, and I closed my eyes, knowing the rage I was about to endure would be painful. Instead, there was nothing but silence. When I peeked at her out of one eye, I knew she wasn’t angry. No. She was beyond that.

  “Abel?” she muttered. “You slept with Abel?”

  “Yes, but we didn’t just sleep together. We’re together-together. We’re having a thing. We’re a thing.”

  “A thing? You’re having a…thing…with Abel,” she said, her voice raising an octave with each word. “This is the same Abel I told you to keep your panties on for, right? My boyfriend’s very immature, irresponsible, tail-chasing brother? And for the record, the same Abel I love like a brother. A brother who I wouldn’t want to date my best friend who is like a sister to me. I don’t want my brother and sister to have a thing and do…stuff…together!”

  Yup. Pretty much how I thought it would go.

  I reached for her hand and held it in a tight grip. “Yes. That’s the same Abel. I know you told us not to hook up, and we didn’t until last night.”

  “How did this happen?”

  I gave her the rundown on how we started up.

  “I can’t believe this. Wait,” she said, pausing. “He took you to RM Champagne? Wow. How was it?”

  “It was fantastic. The restaurant, that is. Now, as far as he goes, well—”

  She held up her free hand to stop me. “Please. Let me wrap my mind around the first part of this before we start dishing the dirt on the dirty.”

  “Fair enough. Look, I didn’t mean to lie to you or make you think that I was keeping things from you. I just wasn’t sure where things were going.”

  “Aaron is going to flip his shit. He adores you, and he’s Abel’s big brother. It’ll be so awkward if things don’t work out.”

  I had thought about this, but hadn’t really considered it until that moment. This was only starting, and the chances of it making it for a long haul were slim. Would we be able to still be in each other’s lives if, or rather when, things went south? I wanted to reassure myself it wasn’t worth thinking about now, that I wanted to enjoy the here and now. Unfortunately, actions have reactions.

  Callie stood up and brought me up with her, our hands still held together. “You look worried, sweetie,” she said. “And I don’t want you to be. All I want is for you to be happy. If it’s Abel doing that, then I’m fine with it.”

  This was my Callie. The Monica to my Rachel. She worried endlessly about everything, was neurotic and overall the more responsible one. It was why she was practically married, ready to settle down, and I was the one who freaked out over a “thing” that morning.

  “Really?” I asked. “What about Aaron?”

  “I will handle him. All I need to do is remind him how you and Abel had both of our backs when we were making a shitshow of things. It’s our turn to watch the shitshow.”

  “A shitshow? We were calling it a thing, but whatever,” I said.

  “I gotta go,” she said, walking us to the door. “First, I’m stopping at the store to get you a portable phone charger, and then I’m going home to sleep.”

  “I have a wedding to get ready for. I’m sorry you were worried. Really.” I hugged her, her scented shampoo lingering in the air. I could never smell lavender without thinking of my best friend. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. And hey, now that you’ve been to WET and you’re porking the bartender, maybe we can all go there sometimes,” she said.

  I watched her walk down the hallway, knowing how lucky I was. We’d been through so much, and no matter what she thought, I knew she’d always be my constant.

  “Ev?” she called, holding the elevator door open with her hand. “One question.”

  “Yeah?”

  “How was he?”

  I smiled to myself, a flutter of energy running across my chest. “He was…delicious.”

  Completely yummy.

  * * *

  Abel: You left something here. I think you should come back and get it.

  Me: What?

  Abel: Macaroons. They are taunting me.

  Me: Ha-ha. Don’t be tempted. You go ahead and indulge.

  Abel: How is everything you say so sexy?

  Me: How’s this for sexy? Callie knows about us, and I’m sure by now Aaron does, too. Oh, and I had to hide behind a plant in the lobby of your building to avoid your father seeing me lead the Got Laid Parade.

  Abel: Anything to do with my brother or my dad = not sexy. You saying “Got Laid Parade”? Still sexy.

  Me: Seriously. You worried? About Aaron?

  Abel: Aaron gets his boxers in a wad over everything. Always. He’ll get over it.

  Me: Callie recovered quickly from the news. She did call you a womanizer.

  Me: And a fuckup.

  Me: And immature.

  Abel: All terms of endearment from her.

  Me: She called you a nincompoop, too.

  Abel: Okay. That one hurt. Work going okay?

  Me: I’m exhausted and we haven’t even started. I wish I could just take a nap.

  Abel: I love naps and my bed is lonely without you.

  Me: In that case, I wish I could take a nap with you.

  Abel: I wish we can take off all our clothes and make out.

  “What the hell are you grinning at?” Bridget said, coming up behind me while scrolling through her iPad.

  I shoved my phone in my pocket, returning my attention back to my own iPad to view the timeline. “Ah. Nothing.”

  “Well, you look like hell,” she said, running her eyes over me. “What gives?”

  “Nothing,” I said, trying to hide my smile.

  Her eyes narrowed as she moved closer to me. Then a spark of realization, and I knew she had me. “You had sex last night.”

  “Is this appropriate work talk between a boss and empl
oyee?”

  “Abel?” she asked enthusiastically. “And fuck if it was, I need to know how the boy gets down in bed.”

  I nodded, embarrassed I was admitting the reason for my bloodshot eyes and excessive yawning.

  She yanked my arm. “Come on. Let’s go out back and sneak a smoke while you tell me all the slutty details.”

  This was major. Bridget only smoked when she was either super stressed or super excited. I had only moments to wonder which one it was before she was dragging me through the lobby of the Drake. It didn’t take me long to realize it was a mix of both, along with the extra thrill of living vicariously through me.

  * * *

  My eyes were always on the prize. This trip to Charleston was going to change my career, regardless of any guy. No one needed to tell me that.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, alerting me of a new text message. I pulled it out to read.

  Abel: Now you did it. All I can think about is you, naked, in my bed, while my sheets still smell like you. You get me hard without even being close, beautiful.

  “Okay,” Bridget said, swiping her lips with some gloss. “Are you ready for this?”

  I knew she was referring to the wedding, but all I could think about was Abel.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” I said.

  Chapter Twelve

  ABEL—

  And that’s why I had to leave the gold-digging, cheating bitch.”

  The customer picked up his glass and swung it around, mumbling about alimony. I wiped away the spilled gin that was spreading out in front of him.

  “Sounds like you made the right choice, buddy,” I said.

  “Women,” he slurred. “Nothing but a fucking headache.”

  I glanced at my watch and saw it was getting close to midnight. WET was still packed, and according to Tyler, the line to get in was still thirty people deep. One right after the other, I made drinks for strangers, but my thoughts never left Evelyn. If she occupied my thoughts before we slept with each other, things were twice as worse, or maybe better, now. I thought knowing her body, feeling and touching places that I’d be fantasizing about would curb the constant obsessing. It didn’t. It did the exact opposite. I got a taste, and now, I couldn’t stop wanting another bite.