Being Diane

by Dennis Adkins

  Chapter 6

  I went back in and the door to his office was still closed. So I waited and waited until the bell rang and I stood up and went to my next class. I got lucky and saw one of my accusers going into the bathroom. I eased up to the door and pushed it open quietly and slipped in. I saw him at the urinal zipping up his pants and when he turned around, I jumped up and kicked him in the chest, knocking him to the floor. I kicked him in the face then jumped on him and started to hit him over and over. Finally, I stopped and grabbed him by the shirt and screamed at him, “Who put you up to telling Mr. Thompson that I was a queer? And you better talk or I will finish the job and really mess you up.”

  “Hey don't hit me again, we were only doing a favor for Mrs. Johnson. She said that if we told him that, then they would throw you out of school and we wouldn't have to deal with you again. Hey, it wasn't anything personal. I was just doing it for her. She said she would make sure we passed because we don't do that well in her class and if we flunked then we couldn't play ball.” He said.

  “Well, you are going to tell that to the principal let's go right now and remember I can kick your ass now anytime I want. So don't try to run off.” I said.

  “He won't be running off.” I turned and saw the principal standing there. He looked really angry and was staring at my accuser. “Get up, let’s go to the office, both of you.”

  We went back to the office and were made to sit outside while the principal sent for the other two accusers and made them sit away from each other when they showed up, then he took them one at a time into his office and closed the door. He then called me into the office, but he didn't close the door. “Dennis it seems you were accused of something that you didn't do. We took the information and waited to see if it was true. Apparently, it wasn't and now I am going to have to do something about them lying and a teacher lying to get a student expelled. I am going to take the three days you weren't here and apply to a suspension. It is like you have your time served so I want you to go to your regular class and don't have anything to do with the teacher or the boys out there. Do you understand?”

  “What are you going to do with them?” I asked.

  “They get kicked off the football team for the year and suspension from school for three days and don't ask about the teacher because I can't tell you.” he said. “Now, about how did you find out about the complaint. Did you look at your file while you were waiting for Mr. Thompson?”

  I thought about lying and telling him that someone had told me but he had always been a straight shooter with me and I respected him very much. “Yes sir.” I said.

  “Well I'm interested in finding out what is in it and now is as good a time as any.” and he got up and went into Mr. Thompson office and came back with my file. “Now let's see what we have here. Hmm...It looks like you are a regular troublemaker and a general screw-up. It says here that you are a narcotics user and a former inmate at a juvenile detention facility. It also says that you are failing all of your classes and have no ambition except to sell drugs. Is this correct?” he asked with a serious look on his face.

  About that time, Mr. Thompson came around the corner and looked in the office. “Is there a problem Mr. Alverez?” He asked.

  “Yes, I do believe we have a serious problem. Do you know anything about this?” And Mr. Alverez pointed at the file.

  “That is a student file that we keep on each child. Why is something wrong with it?” asked Mr. Thompson.

  “I think you had better take a look at this.” And Mr. Alverez showed him the file.

  Mr. Thompson turned white and then he began to get very red. He looked at the entire folder and then slammed it down. “I want to know who put all of that crap in there about him. I can't believe that anyone would sink to such low depths to hurt a student here as to put such blatant lies in his school record.”

  “So you deny knowing anything about it then?” Asked Mr. Alverez.

  “Why of course not! And I can't believe that you would even suspect me of such a thing. The only negative things in there that I personally know about are the things that we have discussed and both of us have placed letters in there stating that we disagreed strongly with them. This other stuff is just lies and trash.” Then it was like a light had come on and Mr. Thompson asked, “Do you think those three had anything to do with it.”

  “No, but I do believe I know who does. Dennis it's time for you to get back to class and I expect you to continue with the tutoring sessions with Ms. Givens, oh and don't be getting any ideas about running off to Tahiti and living naked on the beach. Now go.” Said Mr. Alverez.

  “Yes sir.” Then it hit me. “Hey who told you about Tahiti?”

  “Never mind. Out!” he said with a grin.

  I left and as I walked by each of my accusers I wanted to rub salt in their wounds, but all I could do was say, “I forgive you.” and walk out.

  I was halfway down the hall when the bell rang for the last class. I went to Band and got my horn out and sat down. I knew that the director had said those terrible things about me and that I was going to have to put them aside so I could stay in the band, but I was thinking that maybe being here wasn't such a good idea. I began to think that I would drop band and take a study hall, but I would be giving up one of the few things that I did that made me feel good about myself. I decided in that instant to stay and stick it out no matter what.

  I was warming up when the director came in and announced that he would only be taking a certain few to the Christmas concert and that the names of those who would be going were posted on the board. The rest were to go to study hall. Well I knew that I wasn't selected to stay so I got up and went to put my horn up and go to study hall when Abraham the first chair of my section asked where I was going. “I am going to put my stuff up and go to study hall. You know as well as I do he won't let me play in the concert.”

  “You have to stay because I can't play in the concert” he said.

  “Why not, you are the first chair? And he has been trying to get rid of me for two years so I'm going to take my chance to leave and go.” I said.

  “You don't understand I'm Jewish.” He said.

  “So. What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.

  “My parents won't let me play Christmas songs because they don't believe in Jesus. So you have to stay and play in my place. Beside you are better than me any day and you know it.” He said and kind of bowed his head more in shame than anything. “Listen I know that Mr. Stoop doesn't like you and thinks you're queer, but I know better. The only reason I am first chair is because of that. So the band needs you. Don't leave.”

  “Well, okay then I'll stay, but I don't think it's right to throw the rest out just because he wants to look like he is doing such a great job.” I thought about that for a second and said. “Mr. Stoop! I don't think that it's right to throw some of us out just because we aren't doing as well as some of the others. I mean we all signed up for band and we are getting a grade for it so I don't see how you can just toss us aside like this.”

  “Dennis you are part of the concert band so you don't have anything to fuss about. So sit down.”

  Replied Mr. Stoop and some of the older and cooler ones in the band agreed with him.

  “No, if you are going to throw them out, then I am going with them. Far be it from me to QUEER your concert.” I said. I was determined to stand my ground. “I mean why don't you just tell these others that they suck and aren't good enough for you or for your band? Look at Billy he has been in the band for six years and tries harder than anybody else in here and you just blow him off. Jeannie over there absolutely loves the band and would do anything for it but you are tossing her aside like a dirty rag. No if they go so do I.”

  Then almost half of the people that were supposed to stay stood up and started gathering their things. Jennifer the first chair oboe player stood up and said, “I agree if you are going to throw them out then I am going also.” and the rest of the o
nes standing shouted in agreement.

  “Alright then get out. Go on, I don't need you here if that is your attitude.” said Mr. Stoop and we all left.

  When we got to study hall the teacher in charge was Mrs. Johnson. She told us to find seats and get to work. When we all walked up to the empty tables in the back, she suddenly called out. “Not you Dennis, I want you right here so you won't cause any trouble.” and she pointed to a single chair beside her desk. It had DUNCE CHAIR written on it. “Now! You little sissy.”

  I had enough. “Nope, I think I'll sit here with the rest of the band. If that isn't good enough then go tell the Principal.” And I sat down with the rest of them. Mrs. Johnson turned an ugly shade of purple and started to stutter and spit. She grabbed her paddle and started toward me when the door to the study hall opened and in came Mr. Alverez.

  “Mrs. Johnson, I need to see all of the Band students outside now.” said Mr. Alverez.

  “Of course.” she said. “But I need Dennis to stay behind I have to discipline him.”

  “No, he is to accompany the rest, right now.” he said and waved at us to go outside. He didn't move and she just let us pass.

  Once in the hall he asked, “I need to know what happened in band.” They all looked at me.

  “Well, sir, we were told that some of us were being cut from the concert band and that we needed to go to study hall. I guess it is my fault that we all got up and walked out. I didn't think it was right and Abraham told me that the reason why he couldn't play in the Christmas concert was because he was Jewish and that was the only reason that I was going to be moved up to first chair. I didn't think it was right to throw us out because Mr. Stoop didn't want to work with us to help us improve.” I said and several of the others voiced their agreement.

  “Come on you are going back to band. You are assigned to band for this period not study hall.” and Mr. Alverez led us back to the auditorium where we practiced. He told us to go and get in our seats and prepare to practice. “Mr. Stoop I need to see you for a few minutes please.”

  They went out into the hall and apparently, it wasn't a pleasant meeting because we could hear them both in the auditorium. Finally, Mr. Stoop came back in and announced, “I was just informed that I couldn't remove you from the band without prior approval so I guess that you are to stay. Dennis here has made sure of that.”

  “Dennis didn't do it. I did.” said Billy.''

  “What?” Asked Mr. Stoop.

  “Because I love this band and I didn't like being told to get out.” He said and continued.” I may not be the best trombone player but I try as hard as I can. All I ever get from you is ridicule and criticism I am tired of it and today was the last straw. So don't go blaming it on Dennis just because he isn't one of the cool ones or because you think he is gay when he isn't, it's your own fault.”

  “Well I guess that since I am being saddled with all the blame, I guess that the best thing I can do is to just leave.” and Mr. Stoop laid down his baton and walked out.

  One of the “Cool Ones” piped up and said, “That's just great Billy. Now what are we going to do since the band director has left.”

  “I will lead the band until a teacher comes in. Since that is what I want to do anyway.” Said Billy.

  “Yeah like you know what you are doing.” said Ronny the cool one. “I'll bet you don't even know which end of the baton you conduct with.”

  “Well, I'm going to give him the chance to show us and YOU are going to follow Ronny. And if you give him any problems then I will be glad to take care of them.” Said Ms. Givens as she walked down the aisle of the auditorium. “I told Mr. Alverez that I would be glad to sit in here with you while you practiced. So Billy, do your thing.”

  “We really need a director who knows what to do and what to listen for. Not someone like Billy who is tone deaf as a board.” argued Ronny.

  “Well, let's find out if he is then. Billy would you please come up here and let's see what you have.” said Ms. Givens.

  “Gladly.” said Billy. He walked up on the podium and picked up the baton and shuffled through the music until he found the piece that he was looking for. “Alright let's start with White Christmas and I want to hear the woodwind section at letter B, please.”

  Billy raised the baton and started them off and half way through he stopped and corrected them on a couple of points and then restarted them. He worked with them for about ten minutes and then he had us all join in. I was amazed it sounded a lot better than it had. Then he took the brasses and worked with them for about ten minutes on another section. The band was sounding pretty good for a change. He didn't rush us or yell at us and he was patient with the ones having trouble. Then he looked at his watch and announced that it was almost time to leave but he wanted us to learn the E flat major scale and be ready to play it tomorrow in the concert scale. Ms. Givens was impressed with him to the point that she wanted him to continue to lead the band and work with them.

  I was getting ready to leave when Ms. Givens caught me and pulled me to the side. “So your first day back and you skip my class. I guess that you are going to have to work twice as hard to catch up young lady. Be at my house tomorrow afternoon and be prepared to take a bath and get cleaned up so we can get some serious work done.”

  “I don't know if I can come right after school. We are finishing up with the harvest and we like about one or two days before I can come over.” I said. I didn't catch the part about being a young lady or I would have tried to hide under the auditorium seats. I still hadn't made a decision on whether I wanted that to continue or not. I really liked it and I felt so alive and balanced while doing it, it was like a high I guess if I knew what a high was.

  “Okay, but I want you to get back to it as soon as you can. Promise?” pleaded Ms. Givens.

  “I will but right now I need to make a little money to survive.” I said.

  “I understand.”

  I turned and left and took my horn and caught the bus home. On the way, all the kids complained about how I smelled. I have to admit that it wasn't very pleasant but there wasn't much I could do about it right them. When I got home, I would wash my clothes and take a bath after we quit for the night.