Being Diane

by Dennis Adkins

  Chapter 24

  It took about an hour to clean up the dishes and to put everything away. Then we walked out waving a white napkin in surrender. Mr. Givens let us come into the living room then said. “Robert I would like you, Becky and Monica to take Sarah home. Oh and don't worry about tomorrow you can have the day off.”

  “Mr. Givens if you don't mind I think I had better come in and put everything in its right place.”

  “Hey what do you mean by that. We put everything up. Well maybe not in the right place, but at least it‘s not visible.” said Robert.

  “I'll see you in the morning.” said Sarah.

  “Diane, Roger and I are going for a ride would you like to go?” asked Mrs. Givens. She was looking at Julie in a rather conspiratorial way.

  Julie was blushing and Ted was fidgeting with his tie. They looked at each other and blushed. Mr. Givens looked at them and announced, “I expect the two of you to be on your best behavior.” He was grinning from ear to ear.

  “Yes I would love to go for a ride with you.” I said and jumped up and went and got my coat.

  We took off and Mr. Givens drove toward downtown. I was amazed at how some areas seemed run down and right next to them was a vibrant growing area of town. We drove down to the Peabody hotel and watched the ducks waddle out to their own elevator. I noticed that while I was watching the ducks Mr. Givens left. He came back in a few minutes and we sat down in the lobby talking about how beautiful the hotel was. I looked up and there was Harold. Mr. Givens grinned. Harold came up to me, I almost turned to jello right then. Mr. Givens and Mr. Whitehall shook hands and each in turn introduced their wives. Harold had a sister named Constance. She was adorable and was about eight years old. She had blonde hair that hung down past her shoulders and the most beautiful blue eyes. We hit it off right away. Harold was very watchful over her. You could tell that he cared very much for her.

  “Diane, how did you get here? How did you know where I was?” asked Harold.

  “You know I don't know but I'll bet I know who does.” and looked at Mrs. Givens. She looked at us together and smiled.

  “That little old match maker right there.” I said.

  “So is that your mum?”

  “No she is a friend. My Mom is at home. You see their oldest daughter is my teacher and we have come up to celebrate the holiday with them. I, unfortunately, don't have a lot to do with my parents. I have become an emancipated juvenile so I can make my own decisions concerning myself. So let's change the subject. What do your Father and Mother do?”

  “They own some clothing factories and a few stores around the country. My dad wanted to establish a link here to start selling some of the things that he makes there. I want to live in the country and have a farm. I mean we already live in the country but it is a small area too small for a farm. I have a garden out back and grow cabbages and tomatoes and such. I love it. I got an award for the best string beans at last year’s county fair. You should have seen them they were long and a beautiful shade of green and they had the most intoxicating flavor when cooked with a piece of bacon. I used my own special mixture of dung and compost to make them grow. My dad doesn't understand, but he supports me and helps me as much as possible. I am very lucky to have him as a Dad. He and I like to shoot model rockets off also. It is so much fun. Did you know that he holds the record for a single motor rocket flight?”

  I was listening to him hanging on every word. Giggling at his jokes and having the best time.

  He was just as smart as handsome? “Can I ask a question?”

  “Why of course. What is it?”

  “What is a single motor rocket? And how do you fly them.”

  “He laughed at me. I’m so sorry I didn’t even think that you wouldn’t know what one was. They are model rockets, some are small and some are very large three to seven meters in length. Those can go several hundred meters in the sky. We tend to stay away from those because they can be dangerous. Tell me what do you do for a hobby?”

  “I hunt and I fish and I work on my barn turning it into a home for me.”

  “You get to hunt. What do you hunt for?”

  “I really like to rabbit and squirrel hunt. It is a lot of fun especially if you go with someone who has some really good rabbit dogs. They will run the rabbits right by you. Squirrel hunting is to me a lot more challenging because squirrels have a genetic drive to survive and they can be difficult to find and take. I don’t deer hunt and I don’t duck hunt. I love to dove hunt though. Now that can be challenging. Here lately I have kind of gotten to where I don’t want to kill for sport only for food.” I said.

  “I would love to be able to go hunting, but you have to belong to a club to hunt in England. So can you eat squirrels?” he asked with a sour look on his face.

  “Yes and they are very good if prepared properly like with gravy and biscuits and you fry the squirrels.” I said.

  “What is an emancipated juvenile?” he asked.

  “I have been declared able to make decisions regarding financial and personal issues for myself and I don’t have to have an adult make them for me. I have been abandoned by my parents since I had a serious run in with two burglars. Can we change the subject it is still kind of harsh to remember.”

  “Yes lets. I understand that there is a river close by.” He said.

  “You are teasing me right?” I said.

  “No I heard that there is a river near here. I wish that I could see it.”

  “Your wish is my command.” I said.

  I walked up to Mrs. Givens and got her attention. “What is it sugar.” I loved it when she called me sugar.

  “Harold has not seen the river and I would like to show it to him. It’s only two or three blocks from here and I promise to get him back safely. We can see it from Tom Lee Park.” I asked.

  “A river you say? I would love to take a walk and see a river.” Said Mr. Whitehall. “What do you say dear would like to take a little stroll.”

  Mrs. Whitehall thought about it for a minute, “I think I would like that. How far away is it?”

  “About two blocks straight that way.” said Mr. Givens as he pointed.

  `“Then I’m up for it if you are Mum.” said Mr. Whitehall. “I would like to talk to the young lady who has caught Harold’s eye anyway.” he said.

  We walked down to the river at Tom Lee Park. I still had on my pumps with the heels. Even though they were only two inches, I was still getting used to them. I didn’t see how Mrs. Givens and Mrs. Whitehall walked so well in those spiked heel shoes. Especially up hill and downhill. Constance came up behind us and took her brothers hand and mine and put them together and then she took my other hand and walked with us. She was a pistol I could tell. She asked me a dozen questions about the area and then she wanted to know if I had a beau. I told her no and made note that she was very forward and didn’t mind speaking her mind,

  Constance asked. “Why is it called Tom Lee Park was he a war hero or something?”

  “No he was a man, a black man who risked his life to save a lot of people who were in a riverboat accident. He didn’t care what color there skin was and he rescued many of the victims. He really was a great man.”

  At the park, I tried to answer all of the questions that Harold and Constance had. Constance was the most inquisitive, “Where does this river start?”

  “This is the heart and soul of the south. If this river had not been here, there is some speculation that this area would not have been settled as soon as it was. Did you know that you are seeing water flowing by you here that originated in the Rocky Mountains. Oh, look there is a tow boat that is pushing several barges up river. You can tell they are loaded because of how low in the water they are riding. This is an amazing river that keeps flowing right along.” I said. “Just like the song Old Man River says.”

  “Old Man River? I don’t think I have ever heard that one. Can you sing it for me?” asked Harold.

  “Don’t blame me if y
ou are scarred for life from my singing.”

  “Somehow I don’t think I have to worry about that.” He said looking at me with those beautiful eyes of his.

  Constance took my hand and said. “I want to hear it too. Please.”

  “For you anything.” I said and started.

  “Old Man river.

  Old Man River.

  He just keeps rolling.

  He Just Keeps rolling along.

  Lift that bar tote that bale,

  Get a little drunk

  And land in Jail.

  Old Man River,

  Old Man River,

  He Just keeps rolling,

  He Just Keeps Rolling along.”

  “That was a show tune.” I said. That was when I realized that I was being filmed by Mrs. Whitehall and being photographed by a gentleman with a professional looking camera.

  He walked up and introduced himself to Mr. and Mrs. Givens, “Good afternoon. I’m a photographer for the paper and I would love to put their picture in the paper tomorrow. I think it is wonderful that these kids are here with their parents instead of out causing trouble. I loved her singing also. She has a wonderful voice. Mr. and Mrs. Whitehall agreed.

  Mrs. Givens called me over and asked if I would consent to having my picture in the paper. I didn’t see a problem with it and said yes. He looked at me and at Mrs. Givens. “Isn’t this your daughter?” he asked.

  “No she is one of my daughter’s students that came for the holiday.” She said.

  He wrote our names down and when he found out that Harold was from England the reporter perked up and started asking all sorts of questions. Mr. Whitehall told him that he and Mr. Givens had just concluded a business deal that would hopefully create a number of jobs in the area and introduce the people of Memphis to his line of clothing through the Givens stores. The reporter had them tied up so the three of us walked up the park for a little ways.

  Constance asked, “Are there were any Indians around here.”

  “Yes they are all around you. You see the Native Americans have integrated into the American society and live all around us. They are still a proud people who are contributing to the growth of our country in a positive way. My Grandfather on my dad’s side is one half Indian although I don’t know what tribe he was from.” I said.

  “That must be why you are so beautiful,” she said.

  “How sweet you are. I’ll bet you are a charmer.” I said.

  “She could charm the pants off anyone,” said Harold.

  “Do you go to an all-girls school?” asked Harold.

  “No I go to Salem Jr. High. It is a public school there. I understand that here in Memphis there are schools that are segregated according to sex. I have never met anyone who went to one so I don’t know a lot about them.”

  “I go to an all-boys school and it is alright but I really would like to go to the public school where my friends are.” He said. “I am getting a top notch education and all, but some of the boys are pretty snobbish.”

  “I have never really had any friends until this year and now I have the best. I am on the cheering squad and I play in the band. I have my best friend Ms. Givens, their daughter, who is my English teacher. She is the best. She is actually an Orchestral Conductor but her minor is in English and she is trying to get the vacancy teaching band.” I said.

  “What do you play?” asked Harold.

  “I play the saxophone and I can play the flute a little and the clarinet. I love it. Until recently, it was my whole life. Oh, I know my real hobby is doing these exercises that I have found in a book about karate. They are so relaxing and I have learned to defend myself using them.” I said.

  “This is too weird. I play the clarinet and I take karate lessons.” He said. “I love Dvorack and Brahms.”

  “So what color is your belt?” asked Constance.

  “Color? I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about.” I said.

  “You are tested by your instructors and given a colored belt according to your skill level.” said Harold. “I am a brown belt. Don’t your instructors test you.”

  “I don’t have an instructor I have been doing the exercises from the book on my own. Robert, Ms. Givens brother does them too and he says I am pretty good. I would love to find a class close to me to learn more.” I said.

  “I wish you could come to England to live with us you would love it.” said Constance.

  “I would love to, but I can’t leave my dog, Smokey. He is my friend and protector. He is a big shaggy brown dog that barks at everything and is devoted to me. I love him so much, however I am going to have it out with him if he pushes me off the bed again and takes my blanket.” I said.

  They both laughed at that. “You laugh, I have to fight with him every night for the bed and blanket and he cheats.” That really got them going. “Well I know where I stand here.” I huffed up and crossed my arms and patted my foot.

  “You know you are really pretty when you do that.” said Harold. “I think you are really pretty any way. I love your hair and your eyes. And you have the softest lips. I am going to miss you a lot.” he said. I have been in heaven for this little moment of time and I don’t want it to end.”

  “Neither do I. You are so sweet. I think you have the most wonderful eyes.” I said. “But I have a lot of responsibilities, so tomorrow I will be back in the grind on the farm.”

  “We are leaving Saturday to go back to England. I will write as often as I can. Will you? Write that is.”

  “Yes I will as often as I can.” I said. We looked and the reporter had them distracted with their backs to us and Harold leaned in and kissed me again. I felt warm all over and could feel the fire in my cheeks as his lips touched mine. I had to stand on tip toes to reach him but I didn’t mind. It was a short kiss, but I felt I knew who I wanted to be with. He blushed also and then he pulled me to him and held me close standing at his side. We were watching the river flow by standing there oblivious to all that was going on around us.

  Finally, Mr. Givens came and got us and announced that we were going to get some barbeque and pig out. “If I pig out anymore I won’t be able to wear this dress anymore.” I said.

  “Oh I’m sure you will find a way to fit into it.” He said with a grin.

  Harold had never had barbeque before, slow cooked over hickory coals and a sauce to die for. He really pigged out and enjoyed it. I wound up having to wipe barbeque sauce off of his face throughout the entire meal. I suspected that he really didn’t mind and was doing it on purpose. Constance was having a ball eating with her fingers. She loved the chicken and ribs. “Diane, would you ever consider coming to see us in England?” Mr. Whitehall asked.

  I looked at Harold and said. “Yes I am.”

  “Great, I can show you around then.” said Constance. “That is if I could get you away from Harold long enough.”

 

  I blushed in embarrassment. “Constance! Watch your manners.” said Mrs. Whitehall. “So what do your parents do for a living?” She asked.

  “My Father is an over the road truck driver and my Mom works in a general merchandise store in town. I have inherited a controlling position in the farm my grandfather left us when I turn eighteen.”

  “How big is this farm?” asked Mr. Whitehall.

  “It is a little over five hundred acres but in about a week if my Uncle agrees it will grow to seven hundred acres.”

  “So, you are going to buy some more land?’ asked Mr. Whitehall.

  “We are looking at two hundred acres that is about a mile from where I live. It is not all tillable but a hundred and fifty five acres is tillable and should be very good ground. The current owner wants to retire and he has been raising cows and hay for the last three years. I also noticed the other day that it has a large population of ducks on it in the wooded low lands. I saw where a lot of people here in Memphis would like to have a place to hunt ducks so I think that it could make a pretty penny renting
out duck pits on the weekend and during the week.” I said.

  “Would that be worth the cost of the land? Or would it be a money pit instead of a duck pit.” asked Mr. Whitehall.

  “Farming as a whole is a crap shoot, a gamble, if you will. The only thing that you can really do is to try to offset the chance of a loss. I am going to talk to the local game warden to see if I would need any special permits or licenses to do this. The output would be minimal so almost everything that is produced would be profit.” I said.

  “You seem to have given this a lot of thought. Do you treat everything the same way?” He asked.

  “No sir, there are some things that catch me by surprise and there is nothing I can do about it.” and I looked at Harold.

  “You said you were going to talk to your Uncle about the land. Why aren’t you consulting with your parents instead? It would seem to me that they would be the ones to be in on the decision making process.” said Mr. Whitehall.

  “My parents are separated and I had to become an emancipated minor to stay on the farm.” I said.

  “What is an emancipated minor? Mr. Whitehall asked.

  “I am for all practical purposes a legal adult. I can make decisions for myself and I can own property and be responsible for my own finances. That was a decision that didn’t come lightly and without a considerable amount of angst. I prayed hard over that decision.” I said.

  “But you still have your mother don’t you?” He persisted.

  “Something tragic happened and her mother won’t have anything to do with her.” said Mr. Givens.

  “What could be so tragic that a mother would abandon a child?” asked Mrs. Whitehall appalled at the thought.

  I couldn’t speak, my throat was getting tight and my eyes started to burn. “Diane, was shot then beaten by two thugs that were trying to steal a tractor. She caught them a few days later trying to break into her house and she had to kill them both, now her mother and her father have abandoned her. She didn’t have a choice it was in self-defense according to the Sheriff. It also seems as though one of them was wanted in the shooting of a Missouri State Trooper. Yes sweetheart I looked in on the whole thing and told the Sheriff that if anything looked like it was going to go wrong to call me first. You have a really good man there.” Mr. Givens stated. “I think you did the right thing. I know I should have told you, but you have had a full plate lately and I didn’t think you needed anything else right now. So don’t cry it’s over, all of it. You can go on with your life and from where I stand it looks like a great life.”

  Then Harold took his napkin and wiped the tears from my eyes. I thanked him and thanked Mr. Givens. Harold took my hand and squeezed it gently and said, “You really are more special than I ever suspected.”

  Mr. Whitehall spoke up and asked. “Diane have you ever been to Wales?”

  “No sir I can’t say I have. I have been to Cypert though if that counts.” I said.

  “’Close enough. I want you to come see us this year if you would. I would love it if you would come to Wales to visit.” said Mr. Whitehall. “I know good people. I have made a fortune being able to tell how a person is going to turn out and I think you are going to turn out well.”

  The waiter a black man came over to me and asked. “Honey, are you alright?”

  “Yes sir. I’m being a silly girl. That’s all.” I said.

  “Well now you can go on being a silly girl all you want. Especially as pretty as you are.” he said.

  I was looking at him he looked so familiar. “Is there something wrong?” he asked.

  “You look like a friend of mine. A really good friend.” I said.

  “What’s this friend’s name?” he asked.

  “Earl. Earl Haskins.” I said.

  “I have a brother named Earl that lives down around Salem. I haven’t seen him in a long time I miss him so much.” he said. “If you see him tell him Demetrius said hello and wants him to call. Here is my number. And thank you for telling me about him. Uh, he hasn’t told you any stories about a picnic down by the White river has he?”

  “Are you the one with the snake?” I asked.

  “Yes mam I am. They let me stand there with that snake for a while before one of them came out and killed it and took it from me. I ain’t been hoggin since.” He said.

  “Hoggin?” asked Mr. Whitehall.

  “It’s where you go out and feel for fish in holes under the water and catch them by hand. You can get some big ones but like Mr. Demetrius here you can also get some things you don’t want.” I said.

  “That sounds exciting. I am going to add that to my list of things to do before I die.” said Mr. Whitehall.

  “Well you go and have a good time I ain’t goin’ again.” said Mr. Demetrius. “Now, how about another rack of ribs or some pecan pie and ice cream.”

  “What is a pecan pie?” Constance asked.

  “It is heaven on earth. Pecans cooked into a pie shell with a filling of karo syrup.” I said and licked my lips. “When you put a spoonful of vanilla ice cream on it after it is warmed up you will want to jump up and dance a jig.” I said.

  “Oh Lord don’t tell me you haven’t had a pecan pie? That’s it you get a piece for all three of you.” Demetrius said, Mr. Whitehall was holding his hand up with a please I want one to look on his face. “Alright sir, you too. How about the rest of you? All of you then, coming right up.”

  The pecan pie was excellent I could tell that Mr. Whitehall loved it very much. He almost ate the plate too. “Diane if Harold lets you go, I want you. Anybody that can recommend such a delicacy is a catch.”

  “I think you have one problem with that scenario.” Mrs. Whitehall exclaimed.

  “What is that love?” Mr. Whitehall said pretending to be innocent.

  “ME!” Mrs. Whitehall stated. “I think you are a little old for Diane.”

  “Ah, Yes. I do believe you have a point there.” said Mr. Whitehall. We all erupted into laughter.

  As we were leaving, Harold pulled me to the front away from the adults. “Are you serious about coming to see me?”

  “Yes I am. I would like to see England and you.” I caught myself batting my eyes at him.

  “I would like that very much. You know I have never kissed a girl before today. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I really want to see you again, soon if you can.”

  “I can’t believe that the English girls have let something as gorgeous as you get away. I really want to see you again soon too.”

  He leaned down and kissed me again and I had the sensation of being in the sun with the wind blowing all around me, I could hear the robins singing a beautiful song. When he stopped, my head was spinning and the room seemed a lot brighter. The parents were standing there watching and Mrs. Whitehall had her camera out and she had snapped a picture of us kissing. I hoped it wasn’t color film because my cheeks were on fire. They left and went back to the hotel and we went home. Mrs. Givens hugged me tight and just chatted on and on about everything, but what she really wanted to talk about. Later that evening she and I had a mother daughter discussion about the facts of life as they would affect me.

  I had to get up early like usual, but this time I had to be ready to go when Mr. Givens did. I had to meet with Mr. Washington at nine o’clock to sign some paper work. I missed Harold already, so I called the hotel and got him on the phone. We talked for about ten minutes before I did my exercises and went back upstairs to get ready to go. Julie stuck her head in the door and told me she was going to be taking me downtown. I asked what she was going to be wearing and she told me a pant suit. She told me to put on the one in the closet and the black boots. I met her downstairs and got a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice from Ms. Sarah. I read the business section and came across an article about a new class of antibiotic drugs that were going to be put on the market soon. I checked the company’s stock offerings and their performance then I called Mr. Washington and placed an order for the stock.


  I waited for Julie to come down. She finally did and Mrs. Givens came with her, both were so beautiful it was breathtaking. Then we took off and met Mr. Washington downtown in his office in one of the bank buildings. He said that since I was an emancipated minor I had to sign papers attesting to that fact and send him a copy of the papers to him as soon as possible. I signed the papers and then we left. We went back to the house and got packed and left. On the way out of town, we stopped and grabbed a snack. Julie was in a good mood that morning.

  “Why are you so happy this morning?” I asked.

  “Ted and I had a serious talk yesterday about our future and we have come to the agreement that if things work out he wants to marry me next fall.”

  “That’s fantastic. Have you told your parents yet?”

  “No we thought we should wait a while especially after Robert’s problems. We didn’t think that the time was right for us to do that.”

  “I understand. By the way, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anything about Harold around Sally. I don’t think she would understand. I don’t understand, so I don’t know how she would. I mean she’s a girl and I feel like a girl so why does she kiss me and hug me and hold my hand like I was a boy. When Harold kissed me I didn’t resist and I didn’t’ try to stop it. I felt like a girl and it seemed right. When I am with Sally, I still feel like a girl and when she kisses me I feel confused, but I like it. I don’t know what to do.”

  “She told me that she truly likes you but she still sees the shy sweet guy who is struggling with living rather than the self-confident and strong girl that you are becoming. She said she was going to try to stop touching you so much since it is making things confusing for her. She sees you still holding back some about who or what you are and she also doesn’t want to make things difficult for you. I would make an effort to talk to her though if I were you.” Julie told me.

  I thought about that all the way back. I had to get some extra work caught up for history for the time I had missed. Even though my grade in there was an A-, the new teacher wanted me to do extra work. There was another kid in the class who had missed more than I had and he didn’t have to do extra work. I didn’t think it was fair and I believed that she was just being mean to me on purpose. I couldn’t prove it though. I had managed to pull all of my other grades up to an A- and I was doing better in band. I knew sooner or later I would be outed and either live my life as a girl or continue to live half in and half out of the girl world. Or I could see about the surgery.

  “Diane, Ted wanted me to give these to you.” Julie handed me a prescription bottle and a prescription. “He said that you need to start taking these every day.” They were female hormones and a prescription for six months of refills.

  “Why did he decide to do it? I thought he wanted to wait a while.” I said.

  “He said that you were moving along lot faster than he anticipated and he wanted you to be moving toward the surgery since he felt you were going to do it whether he felt you were ready or not. He is concerned that you are going to have a lot of trouble with some of the people in your town and he didn’t want you to do anything that would be detrimental to your health or well-being. He said that you should start getting ready for a rough road ahead. Hatred, bigotry the whole gamut of things that make people ugly are what you are going to see soon. I know, I have seen some of it just being there for a few months. Listen, Diane there are people in that town that I am truly afraid of. They have no morals and no ethics and they profess to only be doing what is best for the community. Be careful is all I can say.” she said.

  I thought about what she had said, “Julie, I am going to need to know who to be on the lookout for so I can at least avoid them instead of walking blindly into a trap. I know you don’t want to tell me, but if you really are my friend then it is your responsibility to tell me who to watch out for.” I said.

  She looked at me and then she started talking. She spilled a long list of names and I wrote them down. Half the teachers in school and half the school board, several big business men and several elected officials. The worst though was the school board president. I knew that he was a member of the KKK and associated with several hate groups in the state. I only knew that because I was lying behind one of the stores after Hughie had caught me and beat me nearly senseless and he had come out with one of the store owners and they talked about burning the home of one of the blacks in town to let them know that they weren’t exactly free to talk. He told the other man that a group from up north in the mountains was going to come do the job. They owed him a favor. I never told anybody what I had heard even after the house burned and it killed one of the family. I was going to have to really watch him because he made it look like he was one of the most racially neutral people in town and no one would believe me.

  I took the list that she gave me and added the list that the chief gave me and compared them. They overlapped in places but it was a list of about twenty of the most powerful people in the county. Some even had expressed a dislike for some of the others on the list. It came back to the President of the school board, he was the one that worried me more than all the rest.

  “I would like you to consider not going out dressed as a female cheerleader. I’m sure that would be the match to light the fuse to have you thrown out of school. It would also be very detrimental to the cheer squad. I haven’t told you but they are not going to allow you or the other two guys to be on the squad starting this week. So be prepared for it.” Julie stated.

  “I guess that the Mrs. Carmichaels’ are getting ready to go to battle against one child. I just hope I can do battle and defeat them.”

  “So do I honey. So do I.”