An Unnatural Beanstalk: A Retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk (Entwined Tales Book 2)

by Brittany Fichter

  “Eva,” he said with his odd little smile as he walked in, trailed by four servants.

  “You’re up early,” she said in a tight voice.

  The duke stopped and stared at Jack. “Who is this?”

  Jack opened his mouth to answer, but Eva cut him off.

  “He came here on business.”

  The duke frowned. “What could he—”

  “And I want to hire him!”

  Everyone, including Jack, looked at her as though she’d lost her mind, but she kept her back and shoulders straight and her eyes on the duke. But what was she talking about? Jack certainly had no desire to be employed in the duke’s services.

  “What for?” the duke finally asked.

  “I need him as my cupbearer!”

  “You need a what?”

  Jack nearly echoed the duke. What was she getting him into?

  But Eva didn’t so much as bat an eye. “My cupbearer,” she said just as firmly, putting her hands on her hips. Then she rolled her eyes dramatically and huffed, as though they were all uncommonly stupid. “A cupbearer,” she repeated, “is someone who will follow me around with a goblet of cider or tea or wine or something at all times I am awake.” She nodded, as though this were the most logical request in the world. “Then I’ll never be thirsty again.” She fixed her steady gaze on the duke. “And you won’t have to continue running off to fetch a drink for me on our walks.”

  Jack thought this was about the most bizarre situation he’d ever witnessed, much less been a part of, but the duke’s eyes lit up.

  “That is a splendid idea, my harp! You shall have your cupbearer, and I shall have a chance to read you my poetry uninterrupted.” He turned to a manservant just behind him. “Get this fellow a uniform, tray, and several goblets.” He turned back to Eva. “You shall have your drinks, I shall read you my poetry uninterrupted, and everyone will be happy. Now, I must go to my library and organize some new ledgers, but I look forward to tonight with great anticipation.” He turned to Jack then and opened his mouth. Instead of speaking, however, he merely paused for a moment and tilted his head thoughtfully. Jack hoped desperately that he had forgotten their meeting at the party several weeks before, and for one long minute was sure he would be found out. But eventually, the duke only said, “Hm,” before turning and climbing the stairs.

  6

  I Really am Sorry

  “My name,” the manservant said, turning to Jack after the duke was gone, “is Cumberfold, and I am the steward of these grounds. Follow me.” His words were polite enough, but the tone of his voice made his opinion of Jack quite clear, his whiskers twitching with each word he spoke. Not that Jack cared. He would be gone, hopefully, before he had time to wear the ridiculous uniform. But before he could follow the man anywhere, Eva stood in their path.

  “This man is not going anywhere until he’s had a bath.”

  Both Jack and his long-whiskered guide stared at her blankly. Jack wanted desperately to ask her what she was up to. She wasn’t making her rescue very easy. But no matter how hard he pleaded with his eyes, she ignored him and kept her razor-sharp gaze on the manservant.

  “I beg your pardon, milady?”

  “I said, he needs a bath before he puts on that uniform.” When the man still didn’t move, she crossed her arms with a scoff. “If you can’t smell him, you must have broken your nose. The fellow’s been on the road, and I want him clean before he starts following me around.”

  Cumberfold finally shook his head and gave a little sigh before turning to a younger manservant nearby. “Grab Hotches and you two draw a bath for . . .” He turned to Jack. “What’s your name?”

  “People call me Jack.”

  Cumberfold frowned a little, but he continued. “Draw a bath for Jack. Put it in the . . .” He stopped and pursed his lips for a moment. “The smallest guest room in the north wing. Give him his uniform there and bring him to the kitchen when he’s done. Marcel can explain his duties.”

  Jack considered making a smart comment about the complex difficulties being a cupbearer must involve, but a sharp look from Eva convinced him otherwise.

  He followed the young servant down several large hallways, each containing more rooms than the last. The floor they walked on was made of polished wood, so shiny Jack felt a little guilty about the mud he knew he was tracking in on his boots. Something for someone else to clean. From the look on his guide’s face, Jack guessed he was thinking the same thing as well.

  It wasn’t long before Jack had been left alone in a room with a tub of water. Before the footsteps had faded behind the door, however, they came running back. He opened the door just in time to see a boy, not much older than Larry, holding out a little green cube of soap.

  “Miss Eva says you’re to use this,” the boy said before turning and dashing away.

  Jack shook his head as he looked down at the object he’d been given. After a sniff, it was clear that this was not just any soap, but one that smelled strongly of . . . something sweet that Jack couldn’t name. In fact, it had a rather feminine smell to it. The more he got to know Eva, the stranger she was becoming. Still, he had made a bargain with the fairy, and odd or not, she didn’t deserve to be stuck anywhere close to the duke. So he turned back to the tub with a sigh. He would simply have to play along until they found their chance for escape. And escape they would.

  He studied the round wooden tub before getting in. Jack had always bathed in a river not far from his house. He’d heard of such privileges before, but never had he actually experienced a hot bath. One foot in the icy tub, however, made it very clear that he was not about to get a hot bath here either. He finished washing as quickly as he could, trying to use the soap as little as possible, and then threw on the confining clothes he’d been left by the servant—green trousers that were so dark they were nearly black, with a white undershirt and a green vest on top.

  Jack had never felt more like a plant.

  Before leaving the room, he took a deep breath and tried to ready himself. Whatever lay on the other side of the door was sure to be strange if this morning had been any indication.

  Upon opening the door, however, instead of a servant’s face, Jack found himself staring into a pair of soft brown eyes. She motioned for silence and then handed him a round silver platter and a goblet, and beckoned for him to follow.

  Jack hadn’t known any building could be so big. He’d heard of the manors and castles in the capital, but as he’d never visited Tulkarnie himself, he’d only been able to conjure up small pictures in his head of what such bastions must look like. But here, as they darted in and out of shadowed halls, he found himself more and more in awe of the dozens and dozens of rooms one building could hold.

  After about ten minutes of sneaking through the house, they finally came to a room that was made up nearly entirely of windows. Plants of every shape and size filled aisle after aisle, and the corners were too full of ivy to even bother visiting. The ceiling reached up nearly three stories high, and the room itself was almost large enough to fit Jack’s cottage inside twice over.

  “My friends would never—” Jack began.

  “Shhh!” Eva put a finger up to her lips before running back to the entrance. Only when the doors were shut behind them did she let out a loud sigh. She looked up at him. “You have no idea how hard it is to live here. It is exhausting to be that demanding.”

  He let out a little laugh. “You caught me off guard, I’ll admit. I hadn’t planned on coming here for any sort of work.”

  She took the tray from him and fingered its filigreed edges carefully. “I apologize for that. It’s just . . . that’s the only way I’ve been able to get anything at all done since arriving.” She put her hands to her temples and rubbed them. “Soon after I arrived, I had a rather unladylike outburst in front of the duke. I didn’t mean to, but his incessant talk and constant presence had been wearing on me. One of the servants asked me something, and I began to shout.” A near smile played
on her lips. “The duke was shocked, and it was then that I realized behaving like a petulant child was the only way to get what I wanted around here, at least as long as he thinks he has a chance of wooing me and thus tries to fulfill my ridiculous wishes.” She shook her head incredulously. “So, unfortunately, I have continued to be petulant and childish just so the duke knows he can’t run my life. At least not completely.” She let out a deep sigh.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your thoughts, but,” he glanced to his left at the balcony set out through the wall of windows, “shouldn’t we be escaping now that we’re alone? I did come to rescue you after all.”

  “Wait.” She held her hand up and ran over to the window wall. After a moment, she beckoned him. “It’s clear. Come see. Just stay back here, out of sight.”

  He followed her to the balcony and then stood where she indicated, about ten feet back. Even from his hidden position, he could see that the green-room balcony looked down over fields and fields of what appeared to be bean plants.

  “There,” she said. “Look down at the closest field to the left. See those men? The duke is the short one in the middle.”

  As she said his name, the duke looked up at the balcony and waved frenetically. She didn’t return the gesture, just stared down with a look of contempt.

  “I’m under watch at all times.”

  Jack looked around. “I don’t see any guards.” Still, he pitched his voice low.

  “It’s not human guards I’m concerned with. The duke has little spells tied all around the property. If I move past one, it will be cast, and something awful will happen.” She shivered. “I tried escaping three times that first week.”

  “What happened?”

  “The first time, one of my feet turned to lead. It returned to normal the next day, just in time for my second escape, when I lost my vision for another whole night.”

  “What happened the third time?”

  She shuddered. “You don’t want to know. My point is that the duke may appear to be a dimwit, and generally, he is. But he’s conniving and just clever enough to know how to use magic here despite the land’s natural propensity against it. My magic, at least.” She tilted her head and studied Jack, the gold in her brown eyes glinting in the sun’s rays. “That’s why I sent you the soap. You have magic on you. Or you did, at least.” Her forehead puckered. “The magic felt too close to mine, and the duke will be suspicious if he isn’t already. He keeps some fairy trinket on him that changes colors when magic is near.”

  Jack stared at her, his mouth falling open. This certainly wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought.

  “I thought he was trying to woo you.”

  “Oh, he is. He’s just too infatuated with himself to realize that one doesn’t kidnap a woman and place spells on her in order to win her heart.”

  “Then how do we—” Before he could say anything else, however, his knees buckled, and he was only saved from slamming his head against a workbench by Eva, who caught him and pulled him to a nearby empty seat. He expected her to drop him there and step back, but she instead pressed her hand to his forehead.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. Not that her cool hand didn’t feel nice pressed up against his forehead. He actually would have liked for it to stay there.

  “You’re burning up!” She put both of her hands on his face.

  Jack didn’t so much as blink. Never before had any woman, including his mother, touched him so gently.

  “Stay here.” Her words were commanding, and he didn’t dare disobey. She got up and went to the door and peeked out. “Taylor,” she called after a moment. “Get Mrs. McConnell. Have her bring me a bowl of soup, buttered toast, and a kettle of tea.” A reply was made, and Eva scowled. “Does it matter if I’m hungry again? I don’t care what the duke says! Get the housekeeper!”

  When the door was closed again, Jack felt a sudden wave of dizziness and was forced to lie down on the bench.

  “Well,” she said, “I suppose it’s a good thing that we’re not going anywhere tonight. You wouldn’t make it very far if we did.”

  But he shook his head and tried to push himself into a sitting position. “We have to go. I made a deal.”

  “You’re not going anywhere in this condition. You, Jack, are very sick.”

  “What, are you my mother?” He tried to laugh, but it really wasn’t that funny, considering she’d given him more attention in the fifteen minutes they’d been together then his mother had since . . . well, since he could remember. “Besides,” he said, “didn’t you say you have some sort of magic, yourself? Could we use that to escape?”

  “I doubt it. My magic is . . . different.” She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. “But even if I could, I wouldn’t. At least, not yet.”

  “What?” Jack was hallucinating. He had to be. For he was rather sure that the young woman who had been abducted by possibly the most ridiculous figure on the continent had just said that she wouldn’t use her magic to escape.

  She lowered her voice and glanced at the door. “The duke is up to something. I don’t know what he’s planning, but whatever it is, it’s not good. Not for me or for you or for the kingdom.”

  A knock on the door interrupted them.

  “Are you feeling well, Miss Eva?” A skinny woman, probably a good ten years his mother’s senior, peeked in. In her hands, she balanced a tray with a big bowl, several plates, and several goblets and cups.

  “I am, Mrs. McConnell,” Eva replied, “but I’m afraid my cupbearer isn’t in the best of health since he arrived this morning.”

  The older woman gave Eva a wan smile. “My lips are tied shut, Miss Eva.”

  Eva took the tray. “Which is why I called you. Thank you so much!”

  As soon as the door was shut, Eva set the tray down and expertly began to move its contents around, rummaging until she evidently found what she wanted.

  “Who’s that?” Jack asked.

  “The head housekeeper. Unlike her master, she’s quite kind.”

  “Do you think she would help us escape?”

  “No.” Eva sighed as she stirred the tea. “She’s kind, but the staff here is terrified of that man.” Then, with a nod to herself, she picked up a spoon and blew on a bite of soup before bringing it to his mouth.

  Without thinking, he automatically opened his mouth, and a big spoonful of the most flavorful soup was shoved inside. “What are you doing?” he asked after automatically swallowing.

  “You’re sick. And I’m taking care of you. What else would I be doing?” She gave a little laugh. “I don’t know what you do for sick people in your house, but in mine, we try to keep them from dying.”

  Awe and shame warred inside Jack. His mother had never put as much care into one of her sick sons as Eva had in the simple brush of her hand against his forehead. Instead of admitting this, however, he changed the topic.

  “It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head, a mistake, as it set the world spinning. “We have to go. I told your godfather I’d bring you home.”

  “I . . . I think I want to stay.”

  “Wait, you’re telling me you want to stay here with this duke—”

  “No. I mean we need to figure out his plans and then stop him!”

  “Whoa, now!” Jack rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t agree to make enemies with some crazy duke with a magic obsession. I agreed to bring you home. Nothing more. Life is bad enough as it is without this complicated mess. All I want to do is get you to safety and take my family as far from Guthward as our horses can carry us.”

  “What do you mean bad enough?” She frowned as she stirred the tea.

  “I mean that every single plant in the kingdom has died except for what you have here on this farm. The only thing anyone has to eat is beans, and now that I know the kingdom’s only food source is coming from the slightly insane second heir to the throne, I want to stay here even less.” Jack sat back, breathing heavily. Before he could try to catch his breat
h, however, he felt cool fingers beneath his chin. They guided his mouth to the cup of tea she had prepared and was now holding up to his lips.

  As he drank, Jack tried to wrap his mind around how crazy this girl was turning out to be. But as upset as he wanted to be with her, anger was difficult when she was doing her best to nurse him back to health.

  “Don’t you see?” she asked.

  Jack made the mistake of meeting her big brown eyes.

  “If we don’t stop him now, who will?” Her pleas were gentle, like a spring rain against the roof. “He’s using my magic to control the entire kingdom’s food supply. If we don’t—”

  “Wait,” Jack said, “he’s using your magic? You are the one doing this?” He gestured out beyond the balcony at the green fields below.

  Eva nodded solemnly.

  “Why don’t you just tell him no? Or better yet, why don’t you use your magic against him?”

  Eva’s eyes widened and she shook her head emphatically. “First of all, he says he’ll hurt my family if I leave. And even worse,” she shuddered, “as if that were possible, he says he’ll kill the king.”

  Jack studied her, not sure if she could really be telling the truth. Surely the duke wasn’t that powerful.

  As if reading his thoughts, she nodded. “I tried to stop once. About three days after I was taken. But when I told him I was done, he said that he has someone in the king’s personal circle. All they’re waiting for is a word from him.”

  “Well,” Jack said slowly, “then I’ll go warn the king.” He wasn’t sure how a dirty farmer would gain an audience with the king, but a warning about a plot against the king’s life would probably do the trick.

  “I’ve already tried that. I sent two young men I paid off in jewels.