The Goddaughter's Revenge

by Melodie Campbell

  Time for me to step in. “They weren’t fake, Sammy. This is my fault. I was stealing back the fake stones that Carmine used. Nico was my wingman. Until he went rogue.” I turned and gave him the evil eye.

  Sammy slapped a palm to his forehead. “Wait. I can’t keep up with this shit. Take me through it from the start.”

  Tiff explained the good parts. She was actually very cool in an emergency. Good to know for the future.

  I stepped in when it was necessary. Like when it looked like Sammy was going to strangle Nico.

  “Holy shit, Nico. You got the brains of a long-dead lake trout. Don’t you EVER leave those white masks behind on a job again. They can pick up the smallest bits of DNA on those things. Miriam will bat your ears if she finds out.”

  Nico looked suitable chastened. Aunt Miriam had a way with ears.

  But all in all, it wasn’t a bad meeting. In fact, the last part was pretty good.

  “Here, I got something for you,” Sammy said. He dug into a pocket and came out with a memory stick. “Play that on your laptop. You’ll find it quite entertaining— and useful. Miriam gave me a little help. I think you’ll like that part.”

  I reached for it as he continued to stare at me.

  “Carmine?” I said hopefully.

  Sammy smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile.

  “With a curvy little blond gal that isn’t his wife.”

  Holy shit, indeed.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I viewed the video in the privacy of my home office. Yup. What we had here was first-class blackmail material. YouTube gold.

  I convinced Pete to make the trip with carrots and a side order of guilt. The guilt was easy.

  “I just spent a week with your parents in Florida. Surely you can spare a day to meet my rotten cousin in New York.”

  Pete sighed. “If by meet you mean take down, count me in.”

  Man, I loved this guy.

  We got through security at the airport without any trouble. Pete had his NEXUS card and I had my—well, one of my passports.

  “So what’s the plan?” Pete said as he buckled up.

  “I sort of need you to pretend to be a bad guy,” I said. “Think you can do that?”

  Pete snorted, and it kind of scared me. “Sweetheart, you have no idea.”

  Then the plane took off.

  Once we reached LaGuardia, Pete took command. He flagged a New York taxi like it was second nature to him. Of course, because it was Pete, one came immediately. If it had been me, we would have been waiting until tax time.

  “First we hit Schwarz. Then—what’s the address?”

  I gave him the address. “What’s Schwarz?”

  He grinned. “You’ll see.” He gave instructions to the driver.

  After we’d finished our business at Schwarz, Pete flagged another cab.

  “You’re pretty cool about this,” I said. “Any reason I should know about?”

  Pete put his arm around my shoulders. “I know this city. And I wasn’t always a pussycat reporter, you know. You got to be tough in the pros. I just don’t get to show it off much anymore.”

  I looked at the big guy beside me and brought my hand up to test his bicep. “You’ve been working out with Luca, haven’t you?”

  He grinned. “If you call ten rounds in a ring with a stubborn-ass mob enforcer working out, then yeah.”

  “Luca isn’t an enforcer,” I said.

  “Well, he outta be. He sure can hit.”

  And so can you, I thought to myself, if you can stay in the ring with Luca. All of a sudden, I felt very safe.

  The cab stopped outside the door of Venetian Jewelers. I hauled my butt out of the car. Pete handed me the laptop. “Best I keep my hands free,” he said.

  Damn but he had good instincts.

  Either there was no alarm on the street door or it wasn’t working. We walked right in. Venetian Jewelers was old school. Lots of oak cabinetry with boring beige walls to match. Nico would be in despair.

  I walked up to the gum-chewing schoolgirl at the counter. She looked bored. I felt mildly sorry for her, so I decided to make her unbored.

  “I’m Carmine’s cousin. You’ve got thirty seconds to take me to him before I start blowing the place. Get my drift?” I find it best to talk in language that can be easily understood by the natives.

  Pete looked a little surprised though. Guess I should have warned him.

  Miss Bored Universe glanced at me briefly and then cocked her head toward the back of the store. Her gelled hair hardly moved. She never missed a chew.

  I walked around the counter and to the door to the back. Miss B buzzed it open, and I turned the knob.

  Carmine was sitting behind a wooden desk, eating a slice of pizza. And yup, he looked just like I remembered him. Scrawny little bastard with black hair, a pointy face and bony hands. Did I mention I used to call him Ratface?

  When he looked up and saw me, he sneered. He also wasn’t alone.

  “Oh Christ—YOU guys?” I couldn’t believe it.

  Joey, Bertoni and the guy named Lou were also munching away. I could smell pepperoni and lots of hot cheese. Bertoni put down his pizza and wiped his greasy hands on his shirt. Ick.

  Joey groaned when he saw me. Then his eyes swept past me to Pete. Joey stiffened.

  “Hey Carm! He’s got a heater in his pocket!”

  Bertoni yelled, and there was a whirl of action as everyone reached somewhere on their body for something.

  In a flash, the room was still. Carm, Bertoni, Joey, Lou and Pete all had guns pointing at each other.

  “Oh for goodness’ sake,” I said. Pete stood there holding the gun he had just bought. Yup, from the toy store.

  “What kind of heater is that? I never seen it before.” Bertoni stepped forward. He was curious.

  “It’s a Canadian Military Special,” Pete said. He held it naturally, like he’d been doing it every day of his life. “New. Made for the high Arctic. Never fails.”

  I nearly guffawed but held it back.

  “You bringing guns down from Canada into the States now? Isn’t that kind of backward?” Lou said this.

  Silence.

  “Oh, I get what you mean,” I said finally. I turned to Pete to explain. “Usually we move guns from Buffalo to Toronto. Luca handles that side of the—wait a minute. You didn’t hear me just say that.”

  “We got you outnumbered, man,” Carmine said. “Four against one.” He practically swaggered.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Now I was mad. “We’re cousins! We can’t kill each other. You got any idea what Vince would do if one of us got shot? And Big Sally? Not to mention Aunt Miriam.”

  Joey flinched at the mention of Aunt Miriam.

  “What’s the deal with Aunt Miriam?” Pete asked.

  “Smelly yellow soap,” Joey murmured. He shivered.

  “Take it from me. You don’t want to mess with her.” Bertoni looked pale. His greasy hair was standing on end.

  “So put the guns down, all of you.” I tried to make my voice sound like Miriam’s. “There’s no need for violence. We just have to come to an arrangement.”

  Carmine snorted. “So you want the gems back. Tough. Make me.”

  I turned to him. This was my big scene, and dammit, I was going to enjoy it.

  “Oh, darlin’, I will. Or rather, Aunt Miriam will. Pete, help me with the laptop.”

  Pete hesitated. He looked around the group.

  “Put the guns down, I said!” I shrieked this time and swung my arms about. Gad, I was getting more like Miriam with every minute.

  The guns went down. All of them.

  “Jeez. You guys are so anachronistic.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Bertoni frowned.

  I rolled my eyes. “It means so last century. Or the ones before.” I opened the laptop on Carmine’s desk and pressed a few keys.

  “Now Carmine, move up front here and pay close attention to this video. You might know the
people.”

  Everyone came closer. You could almost hear each individual breath. Until I turned up the volume, and then you could only hear the heavy breathing and moans coming from the laptop.

  “Oh Carmy! Do it—do it—ahhhhh…”

  “I’m doin’ it, babe—I’m doin’ it!”

  “Faster, Carmy! Faster—don’t stop…”

  All eyes were glued to the screen.

  “Oh, gross,” said Lou.

  “Holy shit!” yelled Carmine. “How did you get that?”

  “Carm, that ain’t your wife. Tracy’s not a blond.” Bertoni was confused.

  “How the heck is she doing that?” Pete was staring at the video with far too much interest. Okay, time to pull the plug.

  The picture faded, and Aunt Miriam’s serene face came onscreen.

  “Now Carmine,” she said. “You’ve been a bad boy. It isn’t nice to steal from your Auntie Miriam. Or from the family. So here’s what we’re going to do. Big Sally loves his daughter Tracy very much, and I don’t think he would be too happy to see this video of her husband with a hooker up on YouTube, do you? No, I didn’t think so. Give Gina back the gems, Carmine. All of them. There’s a good boy.

  “Oh, and don’t even think of destroying this laptop because I have many more copies of this video back in Hamilton.

  “Say hi to your mother for me.”

  Then she was gone.

  “Fuckity fuck,” said Carmine. His eyes bugged from his face.

  “I see what you mean about Aunt Miriam,” Pete said. “That face. That voice. It isn’t normal.”

  He shivered.

  Carmine grabbed me by the arm. “You gotta give me that flash drive. Christ! If Tracy sees this…”

  I tried to shake him off. “Big Sally should scare you more. Are you nuts, cheating on his daughter? What the crap were you thinking?”

  “You gotta help me get those vids back or I’m a dead man!” He tried to grab my other arm, but I backed away.

  “Hey! Let go of her,” Pete growled and moved forward.

  “Let go of me, Carm. For crissake, I haven’t got time for this!” I whacked his head with my free hand. “Just give me back the stones.”

  “I don’t have them,” Carmine mumbled. “I have to get them back from some guy.”

  I rolled my eyes. There was always “some guy.”

  “You have a week, Carm. One week to get those rocks back to me. But now I have to get home in time to meet up with Lainy. She’s here with the Doves, and I don’t get to see her very often anymore. Do a turf war with Aunt Miriam on your own time. I got a plane to catch.”

  Silence. Why silence? What did I say? Everybody stopped moving.

  “Lainy? Lainy McSwain, the country singer?” Joey asked.

  I nodded.

  “You know her?”

  This was weird. “She’s my best friend,” I said.

  “Why didn’t we know that, Carm? Why the fuck didn’t we know that?” Joey said. He waved his arms through the air.

  “Are you kidding me? I LOVE Lainy McSwain! Can you get us tickets or something?” the goon named Lou piped up.

  I looked over at Pete, who had turned toward the wall. By the way his back was shaking, I figured he was silently sniggering.

  “I can do better than that,” I said slowly. Then my voice picked up. “She’s playing at Aunt Pinky’s Halloween party on Friday night. You can come as my guests and meet her in person.”

  “Holy shit. Listen, there’s this chick I know in North Tonawanda—”

  “Yes, Joey, you can bring the chick from North Tonawanda. Jeesh.”

  “Is she going to play ‘You Done Me Wrong, So I Done You In’? I love that song,” said Bertoni.

  Figures.

  I scanned my watch. “She’ll play the song. Look. I hate to break this up, but we gotta make like a banana and peel. Meet me at my place at six on Friday. I’ll email the address. We’ll go to the party together. Oh, and don’t forget to bring the rocks you owe me.”

  “Will Aunt Miriam be there?” Joey shivered.

  I closed the laptop and picked it up. “And wear a costume! It’s a costume party.”

  I managed to get Pete and his toy gun out the door before he expired on the floor.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  We caught the plane. We even got home to my place in one piece. Well, two pieces, as there were two of us.

  I was feeling good about the rocks. Carmine would bring them back to Hamilton himself. That meant he got to take the risk of carrying them across the border for a change.

  Then Lainy called to say her flight had been delayed and she’d meet me at Pinky’s. We’d get together after the show and have a whole two weeks to gab. I filled her in on what had been happening lately. She was looking forward to meeting the “stallion in my paddock.”

  Things were looking up.

  * * *

  Pete arrived at my door on Friday night dressed as a Roman centurion. He had on a tunic with a breastplate that looked to be covered with aluminum foil. And he was armed. There was a dagger at his waist and one down the side of his boot. Another weapon hung from his belt.

  I leaned against the doorjamb and did my best Mae West impression.

  “Is that a broadsword on your belt or are you just glad to see me?”

  Pete hooted.

  Then he reached for me. “I’m always glad to see you, babe. And that is one heck of a slave-girl costume. Like the image. And the one-shoulder getup.”

  “I’m not a slave girl!” Jeesh. Like I would ever want to be that. “Slave girls don’t wear jeweled brooches. I’m a Roman senator’s daughter.” Close enough to a mob king’s goddaughter, I figured. I wondered if Cicero would agree.

  Pete was still staring at the costume.

  “Say, if I remove the brooch, does this toga thing come apart?”

  “That’ll have to wait.” I lowered my voice. “Joey and the gang are here. But the girlfriend couldn’t make it. She didn’t have a passport.”

  “Carm brought the rocks?”

  I nodded. “All’s well, if not exactly sane.” I started to pull Pete by the hand into the living room. Then I stopped and turned back.

  “Oh, and don’t laugh,” I warned.

  Good thing I warned him. We entered the room. I felt Pete tense beside me and then shake a bit.

  “Are we going to a rodeo?” he whispered.

  I slapped his arm.

  The boys from Buffalo had gotten into the theme of things. In fact, it kind of looked like they might be getting ready to herd buffalo. Carmine, Joey, Lou and Bertoni were dressed as cowboys.

  I don’t know if you have ever seen a bunch of New York hoods pretending to be Wild West outlaws. Or marshals—Lou did have a star pinned to his chest.

  Let me tell you, it does take some imagination. But if you have ever seen old western shows on television, you may remember that big guy called Hoss.

  Joey made a perfect Hoss. I almost expected the Bonanza theme song to come piping through the walls.

  “Howdy,” said Pete, grinning from ear to ear. “Lookin’ good.”

  The others tipped their ten-gallon hats and nodded. They were dressed in blue jeans, plaid shirts and leather chaps. They had matching red bandannas. And boots with spurs. Looked a little strange with the tattoos.

  I could tell Pete was trying to hold back a snigger. I followed his gaze. Bertoni had pasted a droopy black mustache on his face.

  “This being the first time we meet Lainy and the Lonesome Doves,” said Joey, “we figured we should dress the part.”

  “On account of their being country an’ western.” Lou nodded.

  The fake Texas accents were a bit jarring, but I gave them A+ for effort.

  “Stupid Canada. Couldn’t bring our heaters over the border, so we have to wear these fake things.” Bertoni pointed to the toy revolver in his holster. He sounded disgusted.

  I wondered if they were purchased at the same store Pete’s so-called
Canadian Military Special came from.

  “You a warrior of some sort? What do you call those dudes?” Carmine said.

  Pete was a whirl of arms. Daggers appeared in each hand. “I’m a Roman centurion. Nobody move, or I’ll fill you full of bronze.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Time to go, children. Joey, you guys follow my car.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Pinky Palmerston had made what we in the family called a good marriage. In high school, she was a knockout cheerleader who hooked up with a really smart guy. They got engaged at eighteen. When Ben was accepted into McMaster’s medical school, my uncle Vince footed the bill. So we have a surgeon in the family as well as a lawyer. Which is really very handy. Don’t ask why.

  Ben and Pinky live on a country estate just outside Hamilton. It was château chic before fake French châteaus became the rage. It is also about as big as Versailles. When you push back the furniture, the great room alone can easily handle a crowd of a hundred.

  When we got there, the place was already rocking. Tony, one of her sons, manned the double front doors, keeping out the riffraff. He looked like Pinky—tall and slim, with Italian-movie-star good looks. The slick suit he was wearing had to have cost at least two thousand bucks.

  Tony’s face split into a grin when he saw me.

  “Hey, Gina. You behind the whole Lone Rearranger thing?”

  I started. “Don’t spread that around, Tony! Jeesh, I’m in enough shit.”

  “Another Tony?” Pete said innocently.

  My cousin and I exchanged knowing smiles. My other cousin Tony had been taken out by a New York connection. He wasn’t much of a loss.

  “You’re not really Italian unless you have at least two cousins named Tony,” I explained patiently.

  “And one uncle,” added Tony.

  Pete put out his hand.

  Tony shook it. “Cool costume. Like the sword.”

  I pulled Pete into the marble foyer before he could start demonstrating his weapons. Carmine and the Buffalo boys shuffled in behind us.

  Country music was coming from the two-story space just beyond the plaster columns in front of us. Live palm trees at least fifteen feet tall flanked the columns.

  We entered the immense party room beyond. It was dimly lit, so it took a second for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I nearly fell over.