When It Holds You

by Nicki Elson

  Cliff opened his mouth, but she held her hand flat out in front of her, stopping him. What could he say in his defense, anyhow? She was absolutely right. His entire dating life, he’d overlooked girls like Jo.

  “Let me finish,” she continued. “I’ve struggled with low self-esteem for a long time, and it’s only recently that I’ve realized it. I understand now that nobody else is thinking about me enough to compare me to other people, so it’s time I knock it off, too. All I can do is work with what God gave me. And before you say it”—Cliff had opened his mouth again—“I know he gave me a lot.”

  Cliff pressed his lips together in a gentle smile, holding himself back from interrupting again. Now that he’d had his eyes and heart opened, he wanted her to know how beautiful she was. She didn’t have to be the prettiest girl in the room, the most poised, intelligent, or accomplished. She just had to be her—an energetic, sincere, industrious, complex, and wonderful woman.

  “The thing is, I have to do this all on my own.”

  There it is, he thought as his insides sank, her reason for bringing me here. She felt guilty about dismissing him at the restaurant and wanted to explain further to ease the blow. If she tried to give him the necklace back, he’d flat-out refuse. He wanted her to have the diamond even if he couldn’t have her.

  “You’re probably the greatest guy I’ve ever known. And I do know you—you’ll want to try to fix everything for me. But I can’t rely on you to make me feel better. I need to learn how to do that for myself. Alcohol and sleeping around and pushing people away have all been my crutches. I can’t just go and adopt another one. So that’s the first rule—no trying to fix my broken ego for me.” She caught his gaze in hers, making sure he understood.

  Cliff nodded, accepting her request. Then her wording sank in. “Wait—first rule of what?”

  Bringing her hands together, she twisted her fingers. Her pale gray irises shone as her eyes widened. “Of getting back together. If you still want to.”

  Cliff let out a small whoosh of air, shocked. “You want to…are you sure?” Everything she’d said up until now had made it seem like starting back up again would be wrong for her.

  She nodded. “Three weeks ago, I didn’t think I could handle it. But now I know that if I say goodbye to you just because I’m afraid, I’ll never get over it. How can I be happy with myself if I’m miserable without you?”

  “Jo…” He took a step forward, eager to have her in his arms. But the dizzy rush at knowing she wanted him was tempered by caution, and he stopped. He couldn’t ignore the heartache of the last few weeks. It was still raw. “I’ve got a rule, too.”

  “What’s that?” She crossed her arms.

  “Next time you get scared, you can’t run away from me. If you need space, time alone, let me know and I’ll give it to you, but please don’t make me one of the things you push away. I promise not to become your crutch, but you’ve got to let me be the soft cushion you land on before you pick yourself up.”

  Biting her lips together, she nodded.

  “So that’s a promise?”

  “Yes. And just one more rule from me.” She tilted her head forward, looking at him through her eyelashes. Her round cheeks flushed. “You’re not allowed to go cautious on me in bed. I like it rough. Not because I feel like I need to be punished or because I think of myself as an object. It’s just how I like it.”

  He stepped within grabbing distance and reached around her waist, pulling her to him. All his recent torment melted away in one, swift moment. “I think that’s something I can agree to.”

  “Care to prove it?” She arched an eyebrow.

  “Right now?”

  “Yep.”

  “One thing first.” Bringing a hand to trace his fingertips along the side of her face, he held her gaze. “I love you.”

  She smiled. “I love you, too.”

  He bent down for a kiss, but it became more like a series of giddy little pecks as they laughed amid more “I love you’s.” Now that it was out, they didn’t seem able to stop saying it. This girl who’d been within reach all these years was the woman of his dreams, and he’d make sure she knew that every second of every day.

  Mindful of her last request, Cliff pushed her up against a stack of boxes. One shifted and fell, making a crunching noise when it crashed onto the bedroom carpeting.

  “Sorry.” He leaned away, intending to pick up the box, but Jo pulled him back to her, causing herself to topple backward with the force of the movement. She clutched onto Cliff’s lapels, dragging him down with her. With a loud snap, her butt dented the lid of a different box. The whole thing smashed in when Cliff fell on top of her. They slipped sideways, landing entwined on an open stretch of floor.

  “Rough enough for you?” Cliff asked, rolling onto his back and laughing.

  “Hardly.” Jo leaned forward and took command of his mouth in a kiss that made him forget all thoughts of laughter. Together, they pulled off Cliff’s suit coat, and Jo tickled his chest as she bit her way down, opening each button of his shirt along the way to clear her path. With fluid motion, she had his pants open, too, and moved on to the job he’d stopped her from back at her apartment weeks ago.

  Her hot, wet mouth constricted around him, bringing him pleasure beyond description. But Cliff didn’t let her finish him off. He wanted to drive her as insane as she was driving him. Rallying his willpower, he coaxed her bobbing head away from him. Using the crushed box as a perch, he set her on it and pounded into her. Neither of them cared what might become of the contents as they pumped and shimmied against each other.

  They ravaged each other for an eternity. Time was lost when they were together like this. Holding Jo with her back against a wall, Cliff gave his final push into her, losing his mind in ecstasy. With sweaty limbs wrapped around each other, they sank to the floor, too exhausted to stand any longer.

  Glancing to the side, Cliff saw Bedding scrawled across cardboard. He detached from his girlfriend and ripped into the large box, revealing a fluffy feather quilt and several small pillows. They made themselves a nest and curled against each other. As he drifted into a light sleep, Cliff was sure this was what it felt like to be in heaven.

  Chapter 22

  “YOU’RE NOT IN IOWA ANYMORE, farm girl. Lock your damn door!” Trish’s voice bounced around the nine hundred square feet of Jo’s loft condo.

  The racket yanked Cliff from the fuzziness of his half-sleep. He tilted his head to see Jo sitting up, blinking her bleary eyes. Apparently, she’d also drifted off for a short nap. The last remaining bits of daylight glowed weakly throughout the room.

  Before either of them could fully regain focus, Trish stepped into the opening to the bedroom and flicked on the overhead light. She held two lidded coffee cups with her shop’s logo printed on the sides. Her glossy pink lips gaped wide open, and a small gasp escaped from deep within her throat as she stared at her bare-chested friends only half-covered by the quilt. “Is it so farging difficult to keep the rest of us updated on your relationship status du jour? God! Do you think I want to walk in on this?”

  “The door to the building is locked,” Jo retorted.

  Trish tilted her head in a condescending way. “Like I wouldn’t be able to get one of your cute neighbors to let me in.”

  Jo jumped up to standing, pulling the blanket and wrapping it around her—thus exposing all of Cliff. “Oh, sorry.” Jo glanced between Cliff and Trish. The tight crease between her eyebrows indicated she felt bad for leaving her boyfriend buck naked, yet she made no move to relinquish the quilt.

  “Bah. No harm done.” Trish swished her hand through the air. “It’s not like I’ve never seen Cliffy’s junk before.”

  Cliff’s heart stopped. He watched his girlfriend with apprehension, gauging the damage of Trish’s comment. Jo skipped over to her friend, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she passed into the main room. “Look all you want. Just don’t touch—that shit’s mine now.”

  Trish
let out a sharp, “Ha,” winking at Cliff. Then she turned to follow Jo, holding forth one of the coffees. “I brought this to cheer you up, but it looks like you don’t need it anymore.”

  The girls disappeared from view, and Cliff took a moment to inhale with satisfaction. JoJo was strong enough to take care of herself. His only responsibility was to enjoy being with her.

  Scanning the room, he located his navy boxer briefs and white T-shirt and pulled them on. Upon his entrance into the main room, he was greeted by catcalls from Trish and a huge grin from Jo. The girls sat on stools by the kitchen counter sipping the coffees.

  “If I knew you were here, I’d have brought you one, too,” Trish said.

  “That’s okay. I’ll make my own.” He glanced around the kitchen, looking for a container marked Appliances.

  “I have a French press.” Jo hopped off her stool, still swaddled in her fluffy quilt, and dug in one of the boxes.

  “Well, excuse me,” Trish teased. “Is what I brought even good enough for you?”

  “I use the beans from your place.” Jo went to the refrigerator and pulled out a brown paper bag stamped with images of giraffes.

  Cliff spotted beer on the top shelf. “Skip the coffee. I’ll have one of these.” He went over and pulled out a bottle.

  “He’s good in bed and low maintenance, too.” Jo gave him a quick peck on the lips before excusing herself to get dressed.

  While she was in the bedroom, Trish asked in a low voice, “Are the two of you going to stick this time?”

  “I think so. I hope so. We will. She told me she loved me, too.” A spontaneous grin burst across his face.

  “Good. Don’t you dare break her heart.”

  “Not a chance.” He twisted open the beer and took a long sip.

  When Jo reappeared a few moments later, Trish said, “I promise to leave you two love bunnies alone, but first I want the full story—how in the hell did you two go from mutual contempt to being madly in love?”

  Jo and Cliff looked at each other. The tentativeness in her expression echoed his own hesitation, afraid that sharing their story could pop their happy little bubble. It was a foolish fear, he knew, so he cast off his doubt and asked, “Do you want to start or should I?”

  They took turns telling their story, from meeting online as Loinerd and PlanetClaire to their disastrous rendezvous in San Diego to deciding to give it a chance after all.

  “And Amy had no idea you two had gotten down and dirty the night before?” Trish asked.

  “She knew,” Jo said.

  “That little bitch,” Trish growled. “She never said a word.”

  “She was sworn to secrecy, and I never told her we’d started dating.”

  “Let’s Skype her right now. And Lyssa, too!”

  Cliff scratched the back of his neck, happy for his friend’s enthusiasm but ready to slip back into the renewed intimacy with his girlfriend. He scrunched his lips and slid his eyes toward Jo. Without him saying anything, she picked up his vibe.

  “You can go ahead and spill all the beans you want,” Jo said to Trish. “But didn’t you say something earlier about leaving love bunnies alone once you got the story out of us?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hint taken. What are you guys doing next weekend?”

  “Hadn’t really thought that far ahead, yet,” Cliff said. He was still reeling from the surprise that he’d get to spend his future weekends with Jo.

  “Adam will be in town, and he’s going to treat the four of us to an obscenely expensive dinner to celebrate your reunion.” She slid off the stool. “Just let me know if Friday or Saturday is better for you.”

  “I’m taking off work this weekend to unpack, so I’m not sure what next weekend will look like for me,” Jo said.

  “You’ll figure it out.” Trish wrapped her in a hug. “Let me know if you need any help getting settled. This place is fabulous, by the way. Cliff, I still expect to see you around my shop even though you have no more moping to do.”

  He smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead when she hugged him. Adam was a lucky guy. But Cliff felt even luckier. On her way out, Trish kicked the brick out of the doorway and let the door click shut.

  Cliff only left Jo for a few hours that weekend to retrieve clothes from his apartment and get some work done at the library. By early Sunday evening, they had the boxes unpacked and her things settled into their new spaces. While Jo clanged around in the kitchen, making the first official home-cooked meal in her new place, Cliff sat on the floor of the living room, hooking up cables to her gaming system. He could hardly wait to jump into all the unexplored quests that lay ahead of them.

  THE END

  Note from the Author

  Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed Cliff’s quest for love. If you have a minute, please share your thoughts about the book with other readers by posting a short review at Amazon (or a long one, if that’s how you roll).

  See how Trish and Adam got together in When It Hooks You, available at Amazon. Read the first chapter right here after the acknowledgments.

  Lyssa and Hayden’s love story is told in When It Hits You, coming January, 2017 (originally published in 2015 as Vibrizzio). Keep scrolling to read the first chapter.

  Sign up for Nicki’s News, my monthly e-newsletter, to keep up with my writing adventures and gain exclusive access to cover reveals, excerpts, and giveaways.

  Acknowledgments

  I’m blessed to have a team of talented people I can count on to help me make my stories better. Meet Team Cliff:

  Jennifer Lane is the best critique partner I could ever hope for. Her honesty, sharp eye, and writerly wisdom are treasures. She doesn’t just tell me when something’s wrong—she offers sound advice on how to fix it. She’s also a pretty fabulous cheerleader. Gracias, amiga!

  John Wharem has been giving it to me straight since his first review on one of my fanfictions. He not only offers valuable critiques and suggestions, he lends a guy’s perspective to my chick-litty romance, which was crucial in this story told from a man’s point of view. For this book in particular, he did double-duty, calling upon his gamer expertise to keep the RPG scenes authentic. Thanks, Johnny!

  Enter Colleen Wagner, gifted editor, writer, and marvelous human being. She’s one of those rare editors who’s great at both the nitty-gritty AND the big picture. She polished this manuscript and gave excellent story advice along the way. And that’s not to mention all the smiley faces and encouraging cheers in her comment bubbles—those might be most precious of all. Love you, Weenie!

  Who better to package the whole shebang than Coreen Montagna, designer of the gorgeous cover and beautiful interior. She listens to what I want and then works her magic to make something far better than I ever imagined. Thank you, Coreen!

  When It Hooks You

  Available at Amazon

  Three dates. It was only supposed to be three dates—he was only meant to be a fling. I didn’t want to feel all of this for him. And I certainly hadn’t counted on him keeping such a deal-breaking secret from me.

  Till death is too long for Trish Cerise. The twenty-seven year old receptionist is tired of men asking for her forever when she just wants to keep things light and fun. World-traveling businessman Adam Helms steps off the elevator and into her life with his own reasons for keeping relationships at a safe distance. Together, they’re destined for the most glorious short-term romance in history…until they break their own rules and Trish learns something about Adam she wishes she never knew.

  I know a future with him is impossible, but how do you break away from such an intense, consuming, heart-crushing love when it hooks you? ~Trish

  Chapter 1

  KURT’S SMILE FALTERED for the seventeenth time that evening. Something was up with him, and Trish knew exactly what it was—he was going to propose. Why else would he have acted so fidgety and uncomfortable throughout the expensive dinner he’d insisted on buying her? He definitely planned to ask her to marr
y him. And this time, she’d say yes.

  He stayed mute as they left the table and bundled up to step outside. Once on the sidewalk, the clomping of horse hooves on pavement drew Trish’s attention to the busy city street. Hoping to help her boyfriend along in his quest, she nodded toward the old-timey carriage and asked, “Want to hail one of those?” He was clearly waiting for all the stars to align in the ultimate perfect moment, and watching him twist had become torturous.

  “What?” Diverting his green eyes from their study of the lights along Michigan Avenue, he looked straight at her for what felt like the first time all night. She smiled, wanting to tease him about being so nervous, but his wide mouth tensed into a tight frown. “Let’s walk.”

  Trish’s breath clouded as she exhaled into the January night. She wondered how long he’d last in the cold with no hat, especially since the bristles of his closely cropped hair provided poor coverage. Perhaps his uneasiness caused brain friction, keeping him warm.

  She didn’t blame him for being wary. It had been almost exactly a year earlier that he’d proposed the first time. Trish hadn’t said no, but she hadn’t said yes, either, and the whole ordeal had led to a breakup.

  She’d always known the separation would only be temporary. If he loved her enough to propose, he’d love her enough to give her a little more time before he imposed marriage on her. No, not imposed. That was an unpleasant word. She quickly discarded inflicted and forced when they flashed through her brain as potential replacements.

  Oh, what did it matter which word she used? The point was that Kurt had gotten over his hurt feelings, they’d gotten back together, and now Trish had had her time and was ready. She just needed him to ask the question.

  “Can we go in here?” He inclined his head toward an arch that opened to a small courtyard. Most people visiting the trendy shops and restaurants nearby missed this little gem, but it was one of Trish’s favorite secrets of the city—as Kurt well knew. So this was it. This was where she’d say yes to the man she’d spend the rest of her life with.