Hate Sex

by Billy Storm

Fuck him.

  This time when his cock disappeared into her mouth, I didn’t find it hot. No, I didn’t like it; I don’t like it. Jaden thrusts repeatedly into her mouth, each thrust a little harder than the last.

  Watching over her shoulder and knowing he was getting closer to blowing? Pissed me off. Wrapping her right hand around his balls, she massaged them as they tightened in her grip.

  “Oh yeah, suck me hard.” Grabbing his ass with both hands, she held him as close to her as she could and swallowed over and over. No doubt her mouth was being filled with the salty taste that was leaking from his shaft.

  Her throat muscles worked him over, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. “Come on her tits.” The fucker has the audacity to eye me like he’s about to argue. I dare you motherfucker; I dare you. Thank god, he looked away when he did so he wouldn’t see how fuckin’ weak I was right now. Skye picked up speed and I couldn’t stop my hips from meeting her on every down stroke, if I tried.

  A deep groan came from Jaden.

  “On her tits.” Taking my hands from where they cupped her breasts I took her by the hips and guided her motions. Harder and harder. Fuck, I needed it harder.

  After pulling free from her mouth, his right hand gripped his cock hard and he jerked off bending down to stroke himself against her nipple, leaving a slick spot with each hit. “Oh fuck! Skye!” he groaned her name as he came. That’s MY name to say as I come, from my lips not his. Jaden’s eyes though narrowed stayed locked on her chest as he watched himself come on my woman. Drawing his finger from her chin to the pearly white drop that clung to her nipple, Jaden held it to her mouth. “Swallow,” he said.

  “Like hell she will.”

  Licking where her pulse raced along her neck, I sucked the spot until her skin heated, and I left behind a purple mark. Nipping her earlobe just to make sure I had her full attention. “You’ll only swallow my come. You’ll only be filled with my come.” Ramming my cock into her willing body with a force that jarred my own teeth, I was marking my territory, branding her as mine.

  When her head lolled back, I knew I had her as lost in us as I was.

  “Look at me, beautiful.”

  Skye’s full ass rocked against me as she sought her climax.

  “Look at me!”

  A soft moan came from her lips and went straight to my balls.

  “Goddammit, Skye! Look at me!”

  She ignored me again.

  Crack!

  Her whole body jolted when my hand met the tender flesh of her pussy. Stinging my hand, I know damn well that she was feeling the burn, too.

  Crack! Crack!

  “You will do as I say. Look. At. Me.”

  Panting, quivering, and so damn close to falling off the cliff, she opened those eyes and the gold flecks practically destroyed me.

  “You will come on my cock and you’ll look at me when you do.”

  Her eyes closed as I rammed her harder.

  Crack!

  “Keep ‘em open!”

  She whimpered, eyes wild as she looked at me over her shoulder. “Again, p-p-please?”

  Filthy fucking woman. Fuck.

  Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!

  Feeling her pussy squeeze me, she was there, and I was so close I had to clench my ass cheeks to keep from exploding inside of her spasming muscles. Balls tight, teeth clenched, I demand her to give me what I need. “Say my name, beautiful.”

  Crack! Crack!

  “Who’s pussy is this?” Sweat drips down my forehead and slides down her bare shoulder. “Fucking who’s, Skye?”

  Barely audible, “Rhett, Rhett…omigod it’s yours, Rhett.”

  Crack!

  Her body jerks so violently, I almost slip from her. As Skye twitches above me, I feel my balls get wet and that’s what sends me over the edge. There’s no more slowing this freight train as I come harder than I’ve ever come in my life. The roar that comes from me not only hurts my throat with a welcomed pain but it shocked the hell outta me. Another first.

  I didn’t stroke her enough. Skin so soft, warm and inviting had regrets making an entrance. Then, it hit…guilt. Guilt for Skye doubting that I wanted her. Guilt for practically pushing her into Jaden’s arms. Guilt for…for the moment, I hated her when she had another mans cock in her mouth—even though I’d lead her to it, told her to. But most of all? Guilt that I’d taken her for the first time with an audience merely to show the fucker who she belonged to. That was a moment we’d never get back and it’d never be truly ours only.

  Chapter Seventeen

  **Skye**

  “So you’re telling me you went from thirty-eight years and not one single orgasm from a man to a climaxing queen with two different men within weeks?”

  Nodding, “I think I know why now though.”

  “Oh I wanna hear this. Have you heard from Jaden? Talked to Rhett about any of it?” Eden turned her chair away from the mirror after screwing the mascara closed and stared at me like an eager child.

  Inhale and exhale. “Jaden’s called me at the diner a few times—”

  “Let me guess, you didn’t respond?”

  I shake my head.

  “Figured. Rhett?”

  Inhale, exhale.

  “Nothing.”

  Seeing Eden’s benevolence is more than I can take.

  “Okay, so tell me why exactly you’re leaving orgasms in your wake all over town then.” Funny, definitely funny.

  “Well, I didn’t get off until Jaden pinched my nipples or smacked my ass.” Another breath. “Rhett had me coming in seconds when he’d slapped my pussy over and over.”

  “Mmm…k?” Furrowed well-defined eyebrows and the fact she was chewing on her bottom lip told she wasn’t reading between the lines.

  “Control—well, not only control but a bit of pain.” Sighing. “Truth is, I need to feel the sting, I need a burn, I-I just need something else during sex and I need that something to hurt.”

  I saw when she understood what I was saying. “You twisted little slut!” Eden shook her head and sipped from her rum and Coke, obviously highly entertained by my confession.

  “Champagne room, high roller, bought two dances in,” glancing at his watch, Charlie continued. “Seven minutes, Eden.” He was gone as fast as he appeared.

  “Duty calls.” I watch as she stands, leans closer to the mirror, and freshens the red paint on her lips before her eyes meet mine in the mirror. “I was only screwing with you, you know? I don’t think it’s twisted…at all actually. But now that you know? Don’t deny yourself because you have some thought that it’s wrong.” Straightening up, I watch as she adjust her breasts, pulling them higher, giving herself more cleavage than seconds ago. Before walking out the door, she stops with her hands planted on either side of the door frame and speaks without looking at me. “From what I can tell, Skye? You’ve got two men that understand that—maybe more than you do. Choose one and let the other go because you’re an easy woman to love and that’s just not fair to either of them.”

  Then, she leaves—just leaves and I’m left alone replaying her words in my head. “You’re an easy woman to love…” I swallow the lump in my throat. I’ve never seen myself as that. Her words hit me hard. Truth is I’ve built this wall around me, a wall of protection. Protection from what? Oh I don’t know…from love? I’ve never let a man in, never to get close enough, close enough to destroy me when he finally leaves. They all leave. Fathers die, mothers start over, and sisters move on without you.

  A sob breaks free, and catching my reflection again in the mirror, I look at myself like I’ve never seen my own face before. I hadn’t—at least not like this, I haven’t. When my father was dead and buried so was a piece of me, a piece of my heart. And, when I needed my mother to remind me that life goes on and that’d we be okay? She left Rain and me for a new life, a new beginning, and now she has a new family. I thought I’d be okay as long as I had Rain by my side, but then, she left too. I wasn’t a child according to the day
s on the calendar, but I’d never felt more like a little girl than those dark days after being left by my lonesome.

  It took me a long time to understand that life wasn’t over and I could make it on my own. I’d done it everyday since. I hadn’t realized that I’d closed myself off from even the smallest possibility of something more with someone, something real. And quite honestly? I know now that’s what had me using Jaden like I’d been doing. Yeah, yeah, I know it was me bent over the desk and it was me getting fucked against a car. Yeah, he ran the show, but in a fucked up way, it was always me.

  One can’t lead without a follower and I followed. Trust me I know…I was there. Yup, I was there kicking and screaming until I got what I needed from him. A distraction. Proof I wasn’t falling for a man that I’d only known for weeks, one that would leave one day with another piece of my heart.

  How had I gone through all these years and not even seen what I was doing. I’ve had relationships, a couple serious ones, but now I see that I was the one who sabotaged them. Everyday, from the very first one, I had been subconsciously destroying every relationship that I’d acted like I wanted. Of course, when they failed? Never did I blame myself; no, I always planted the blame solely on his back. Matt, Gavin, Ryder, I played the victim every time, blamed them for leaving me in the end. Not that I’d given them any other option. I’d pushed and pushed, until they’d finally had enough.

  Hello there guilt, my old friend. Just another punishment I’d been dishing out to myself these days, huh?

  How can I not have guilt? I hurt a man like no other. Once again, I played the victim role that I portray oh so well. Rhett. I doubt Jaden gives a shit that he was used and abused as well. I’d bet the sick fuck loved every unhealthy second of it.

  “Look at you. All aboard the hot-mess express.” Reduced to talking to my own reflection. You’ve had all these chances at a happily ever after and what did you do? “What did you do?” My breath caught, and I caved into the tears again. Chance after chance, with men who’d shown me they loved me, but I could never give them the same—not that I had believed it was love at the time. They had the strength that I only pretended to have. Learning very well, over the years, how to play the strong woman who didn’t need anyone—dammit, I needed someone. God, I needed someone so much. The lies I’d told myself over the years had left me with the life of loneliness that I’d come accustomed to.

  Black mascara tracks ran down my face, my eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and I’d never felt more alone than I do at this minute.

  “Skye?” I heard my name, but it sounded distant. “Skye!” Hearing it again, my eyes left the mirror and focused on Eden’s face, only inches from my own, concern clearly written all over her beautiful appearance.

  “I’m easy to love?” Even I’m surprised those are the words I say.

  Her long hot pink nails make my mouth twitch when she frames my face with her hands, wiping my tears with her thumbs. Resting her forehead against mine, she starts uncovering the heart that I’ve kept hidden for so long.

  “Yes, you Skye Blake are one of the easiest people to fall in love with…” Searching my eyes with hers, I know there’s more. “You’re just not that easy to keep loving.”

  Those words are my undoing. The sound that escapes frightens even me. This time, when she hugs me close, her arms wrapped around me tightly, I don’t try to break free like I always have in the past. This time? I let myself soak in the love she’s offering without thinking that she will leave me someday too. I feel Eden’s tears soak through my hair, her pulse against my flesh letting me know I’m not alone in a journey I fear has only just begun.

  I’m scared. I’m done pretending to be the strong woman who never needs anyone. I need so much. I need to think. I need forgiveness as much as I need to forgive myself. I need to figure out my life before I can have someone share it with me. Most of all? I need to love myself before I can expect somebody else to.

  **Jaden**

  I hadn’t heard from Skye in over six days before she’d finally waltzed into the gym like she hadn’t been killing me by not responding.

  I knew I should stay away, I knew it, but I couldn’t. Let’s be honest here, shall we? When have I ever done what I should’ve done? Exactly.

  Ya know, there was a time when I had. Done what I should’ve done that is. For real. I dated the homecoming queen, waited nine months to bed her on prom night. Still makes me smile. We’d went to colleges eight hours away from each other, but even the long distance relationship stood the test of time—well and miles. The night after Rachel graduated, I went down on bended knee and asked for her hand in marriage. Five months to the day, we stood in front of the priest, sweaty palms and all. I’d suddenly had the life I’d dreamed of since high school. Life was good, we were good, or so I thought.

  Rachel and I had been married exactly 127 days when I’d come home from the job I held at the local community center. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I’d walked into our apartment and saw my new bride crumbled on the floor with a white plastic stick clenched in her hand. Immediately I knew it was a pregnancy test. My heart began to pound so loud I’d still swear to this day that I’d heard it. Taking the stick from her shaking hand, I saw the blue plus sign and I knew I was going to be a father.

  Taking her in my arms, I squeezed her as hard as I deemed safe for her and the baby. Her body shook with every soft sob and I was confused whether she was upset or just overcome like me. Then, my world stopped on its axis and I was left hovering, when Rachel confessed the only thing that could destroy us. “It’s not yours, Jade.” Her grip tightened around me. “I’m so sorry, so-so sorry.”

  I lost my life that day. Lost the woman I’d loved since she was merely a girl. Lost the euphoric feeling I had felt only briefly when I saw the results on that plastic little stick. And, lost the belief that true love existed. No such thing.

  From then on I’d made sure not to lose myself in the lie that is love ever again. Oh, I believe in lust, hell, I believe in infatuation, but I sure as shit don’t believe in love. Casual sex, good times, and one-night stands were my way of life since packing up my things in garbage bags and cardboard boxes that day. Six weeks after our divorce was final, Rachel married the baby’s father, a finance major she’d been secretly dating for months and months before our wedding.

  That’s love? Bullshit. No such thing. Exhibit A just walked in my door and is looking at me right now. Her body is like a beacon to my own. I feel her before I even see her. Proof? Why had I looked before the bell on the door even sounded? I felt her coming. Oh, I’ve felt her coming all right.

  “Becky, anyone calls, just take a message.” I say as I hit the front desk with my knuckles as I walk by, knowing without looking that Skye is behind me. I learned rather quickly that my Skye likes me to lead. After she fights with me and tosses around that attitude for a while.

  Opening the door to my office, I watch each sway of her ass as she walks past me, her shoulder just barely sweeping my chest. Just that small touch, the teeniest connection has me getting hard.

  “Ditch the pants, Skye.”

  Her dark eyes flash to mine, and she sucks in a breath. Swallowing before she speaks, I stare at her neck and tell myself I want to taste her there again; I like how she tasted there. I’d tasted her plenty the night I’d fucked her in the garage against my Mercedes. When I’d come inside of her, it was like I was claiming her, even if I was only telling her that she was mine. Fuck. I hadn’t come inside of anyone but Rachel and even that had been rare. Feeling my come inside of Skye was one of the hottest things ever. So hot, I think an encore is in order.

  Seeing Skye with her back against the wall, as far from me as she could possibly get, I repeat my command. “Pants, off now.” Fumbling with the string on my waistband, it was like I was in a race to free my dick from its—

  “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I came here to tell you once and for all we’re done.”

  “Done?” Pulling my sweats
all the way back up, I make sure not to snag a piercing; that fuckin’ sucks. “Done with what exactly?” She’s had my dick in her mouth, been filled with my baby batter, yet Skye blushes when witnessing the tent I’m sporting in my pants.

  “Us,” her hands motion wildly between us. “This entire fucked up situation we had going on.”

  “Had?”

  “Here’s the deal, Jaden. I used you—”

  I interrupt her. “You used me?” I laugh.

  She nods. “Rhett was becoming too much too fast and it scared the hell outta me. I needed to keep him at a distance—”

  I point at myself and ask, “That’s where I come in?”

  “That’s where you come in.”

  I’m not liking the feeling I’m getting in my chest. “And now?”“Now,” she exhales loudly. “Now, I’m ready to let him in.”

  “Sweetheart, I was there you let him in all right, you let me in too, hell, he let me in you.”

  She doesn’t even bat an eye, her lips don’t even twitch, and I’d never been more hopeful for a smile that just wasn’t coming. Shadows danced across her face from the light shining through the blinds and a slight breeze blew a few strands of her dark hair across her face. Without thinking, I walked around the desk and went to her.

  Pushing the hair aside and tucking it behind her ear, once again, I saw the truth in her expression. She wasn’t playing. This wasn’t her giving me shit just so I could force my hand and she could pretend to not want what she really wanted. Skye was serious, and suddenly, the burning in my chest intensified.

  “This makes no sense.”

  I say at the same time she says, “It’s done.”

  Then I kiss her.

  When my lips press against hers, I felt the softness tighten almost instantly and she shoves me away. Hard.

  “No more,” she whispers. “No more.”

  This time, I kiss her with the hunger I felt, the need to have her again. With my hands framing her face, I held her as she struggled to break our mouths apart. “Goddammit, Skye! Kiss me back!”

  Then the tear slid over my thumb and I’d known…it really was over, really done.