03 The Long Road Home

by Geeta Kakade

  Margaret sighed. It had to do with having red hair. It had to do with not having let go of her brother yet.

  Timmy has a lump the size of an egg on his head. Matt's calm, measured tones had told her the exact extent of her brother's injuries. Timmy had been hurt worse when he had fallen out of the apple tree in the backyard and broken his arm. Then there was the time he had fallen off his skateboard and got a bump the size of an ostrich egg on his forehead. She hadn't blamed anyone on those occasions.

  You flew off the handle without any cause didn't you?

  Closing her eyes, Margaret admitted she had. How could she have hurt Matt so badly?

  "Matt," she put her hand out and touched his arm. "I'm sorry I said what I did at the truck stop."

  "That's okay Margaret. You were scared."

  His voice frightened her. It was the tone of a stranger. Reserved, formal, aloof.

  Margaret swallowed hard. "Timmy chose to go on the trip, and no one is responsible for what happened to him. The shock of the news and seeing Aunt Jan so upset made me over react, but that's no excuse for attacking you. Forgive me."

  "Don't worry about it." He sounded weary, as if he didn't want to discuss the subject any more.

  Margaret wanted to say something, anything, but the words died in her throat. The stranger who sat beside her wouldn't encourage conversation.

  A glance at her watch revealed that it was half an hour since they had left Inchwater. They should be in Vegas in two hours. Leaning back in her seat, Margaret closed her eyes.

  Why had she lashed out like a wild animal in pain?

  I knew no good would come of Timmy being involved with trucking.

  Margaret cringed in her seat. That one statement must have convinced Matt she had lost none of her fears about trucking. She ought to tell him it wasn't trucking she was afraid of; it was of losing her brother, period. The dread that the same Fate that had snatched her parents away, was reaching out for Timmy had made her blind to everything else. Fear had snapped the bonds of self-control and she had lashed out at Matt.

  Matt probably thought all she had said about coming to terms with Timmy's choice of occupation was just a front. Margaret bit her lip. He must think she was like the women his father had married who would say anything to get what they wanted.

  She was back to square one, and whereas the first time around Matt had been there to help her, now Margaret knew she was absolutely alone.

  They stopped at a fast food restaurant halfway to Vegas. Matt bought himself coffee, and Margaret had a glass of lemonade. She stared at him and wished life came equipped with rewind and erase buttons. She would give anything to wipe out the last hour from Matt's memory.

  Timmy was the sole occupant of a room with two beds in it. He was sitting up watching a music video on television when they pushed the door of his room open.

  "Timmy, are you all right?"

  The sight of the bandage around his head, and his paler than normal face worried Margaret. The flood of relief bubbling up in her that his condition wasn't worse brought tears to her eyes.

  "Hi sis! Hi Mr. Magnum!" Timmy flicked the television set off. "You didn't have to come out here. I'm fine."

  "Your sister was worried about you." Margaret heard the reproof in Matt's voice.

  Tim seemed to hear it too, because he said, "I'm sorry, sis. All I meant was I'm not hurt bad or anything."

  Margaret looked at him, "Are you sure?"

  Timmy nodded, "I'm sure."

  Margaret blinked backed the tears. "I'll call Aunt Jan and be right back. She was worried sick."

  "I've already called her," Timmy said quickly. "After my doctor talked to Mr. Magnum, he came in and said Mr. Magnum wanted me to call Aunt Jan. She told me you were already on your way here."

  Warmth wrapped Margaret's heart. Matt had been thinking of them even then. Feeling worse than before, Margaret sat down on a chair beside the bed.

  "What happened?" she asked Timmy.

  "Brett and I stopped at this rest area thirty miles outside Vegas. First, I thought I'd get a soda; then I changed my mind and decided to return to the truck. I heard some kind of sound from the rear, and I went toward it. I just caught a glimpse of this man fiddling with the lock before he pushed me over and ran. I hit the back of my head when I fell."

  Margaret swallowed hard. What if the man had had a weapon? What if...?

  Matt's hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present in time to hear Timmy say, "...and the police got a report from me after the doctor checked me out. Dr. Patterson wouldn't allow the newspaper reporter to talk to me though."

  Timmy didn't sound too happy about being deprived of his shot at fame.

  A sound at the door drew their attention to it. A nurse bustled in, placed a thermometer in his mouth and took his pulse.

  Glancing at them she said, "Your family?"

  Timmy nodded and Margaret said, "I'm Tim's sister, Margaret Browning, and this is a friend, Matthew Magnum." She hoped the last part was still true.

  "Stop by the nurse's station at the end of your visit, will you?" the nurse said.

  "You mean I'm not leaving with them?" Tim asked as the thermometer was removed.

  The nurse shook her head firmly. "Dr. Patterson wants to keep you overnight for routine observation."

  "Oh, man!" Tim sank against his pillows, the epitome of teenage frustration.

  "One night of rest will have you feeling like new," the nurse said. "The sedative I gave you a while back is going to make you very drowsy. Don't fight it. Before you know it, it will be morning and you will be out of here."

  Timmy groaned as the door shut behind him. "I wanted to get back to Inchwater tonight. Jack said he'd take me to Los Angeles tomorrow."

  Margaret bit down hard on her lower lip to stop the protest that immediately sprang to her lips.

  "No more runs till I say so, Tim," she heard Matt say. "You'll have to rest for a few days to make sure you are absolutely well. I don't want Margaret and Janet worrying about you."

  There was no mistaking the authority in Matt's voice. Tim stared at him in surprise and then said very quietly, "Yes, sir."

  Matt and Margaret said their goodbyes half an hour later when they saw Tim's eyes begin to close. Bending to brush a kiss on her brother's forehead, Margaret said, “‘Bye Tim. We'll be back first thing in the morning."

  Tim actually raised his hands, placed them around her shoulders, and kissed her on her cheek. “‘Bye sis. 'Bye Mr. Magnum."

  Margaret walked out of the room dazed by her brother's show of affection. It had been so long since Timmy had voluntarily made a gesture of affection. The sedative must have overridden his I’m all grown up behavior.

  The nurse looked up as they stopped at her station. "Got a message for you here somewhere. Ah, here it is." She handed over an envelope and said, "It's from the police department. Didn't want to mention it in front of Tim and get him all worked up. He's very excited about what happened, as it is."

  Matt ripped the envelope open as Margaret said, "Is he really all right?"

  "Fit as a fiddle," said the nurse. "It's routine to keep head injuries overnight, to make sure there's no concussion or after effects. Come by for him at eleven tomorrow. Dr. Patterson makes his rounds at ten, and he will sign the discharge papers then. The doctor left his number in case you want to talk to him, personally. Mr. Magnum told him he was bringing you here, and he would appreciate the doctor making himself available to talk to you. You're a lucky young woman to have a man like that."

  Margaret looked at Matt. Yes, she was lucky. He had done everything he could and more to help. She wondered if he would ever forgive her. He looked up at her, and she said quickly. "I think I'll find a..." The rest of the words died on her lips as she saw his face. "What is it?"

  "They want me to go down to the police station. They've picked up a man fitting Timmy's description of the suspect, who's confessed to the burglaries."

  Margaret stared at Matt in su
rprise. "That's quick work."

  He folded the note and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans. "It is."

  "Where to, next?" Matt asked as they left the hospital parking lot.

  Margaret looked away quickly, "If you'll just drop me at the first motel we come to, I'll check in. Tomorrow, I will rent a car before picking Tim up at the hospital."

  "I'm not going to leave you here alone. We’ll check into a casino. I have to go to the police station and then I want to show you Vegas. It's not a city one sleeps in at night."

  Margaret took a deep breath. "You aren't angry with me anymore?" Her voice held one part question, two parts wonder.

  "If danger had threatened Susan, or Patricia, and I thought you were responsible, I would have lashed out exactly as you did."

  Margaret swallowed the lump in her throat as the light changed, and the car sped forward. Matt understood why she had reacted like she did, and that was important.

  "So, will you let me show you Vegas?" Matt asked.

  "I don't have anything to wear for tonight." The shorts and top she was wearing were hardly appropriate.

  "We'll go shopping for an outfit and pick up some toilet articles as well before we find a place to stay. What do you say to staying at a casino on the Strip?"

  Margaret nodded. She had been to Vegas before with a girlfriend from college, but on a tight budget they hadn’t stayed overnight. Matt pulled up at a shopping plaza, and Margaret picked out an embroidered cotton dress, an oversized tee shirt to sleep in, and a few other necessities, paying for them with her credit card, while Matt made his own purchases.

  He picked a casino for them to stay at and while he asked for two rooms Margaret looked around her fascinated. Millions of lights, the sound of money falling out of slot machines, the smell of smoke, the sight of the waitresses in their skimpy costumes, people everywhere. The inside of the casino looked like a movie set.

  "Come on. We've got rooms at the back where it's quiet."

  Separated from the main casino by the swimming pool, their rooms were on the ground floor of a building at the rear.

  Matt opened her door, and then stood aside and handed her the key to her room. "Take a nap if you want to," he said. "I'll be at your door at eight."

  Asking room service to call her in an hour, Margaret lay down on the double bed intending only to stretch out for a few minutes. She reached out and rubbed a hand against her forehead. So much had happened since this morning and her mind, as usual, was doing its juggling act, tossing thoughts at her like colored balls.

  Her first reaction to the news that Timmy had been hurt was that she wanted him to be all right. It was the most important thing in the world to Margaret. Nothing else mattered, beside that. Timmy could decide to set up a grocery store on the moon and she wouldn't mind, as long as he was well and happy doing it.

  Margaret closed her eyes. She finally knew what she wanted to tell her brother.

  The ringing of the telephone woke Margaret at seven thirty. After a cool shower, she got into her new dress. The bright flowers on the white background made it look smart enough to go out in. She added the white hoops she had picked up on impulse, to her ears. Maybe it was the atmosphere of Vegas but she wanted to look different tonight...more sophisticated, more sure of herself.

  Brushing her hair, Margaret gathered it into a loose knot at the top of her head, pinning it securely. It left her neck bare and cool. Using the powder compact and lipstick in her bag, she stood back, eyed her reflection, and frowned. It looked as if a dozen freckles had appeared since this morning to keep the others company.

  The knock on the door came a second later. Heart beating, Margaret hurried to open the door. Matt looked at her and held a hand out. "You look lovely."

  Margaret's heart picked up its pace as she put her hand in his. Maybe her freckles weren't quite as noticeable as she thought.

  Darkness had fallen, and Vegas was at its best. The casinos were enchanting with millions of lights illuminating their facades, each trying to outdo the other in brilliance and design.

  "Do you mind if we walk?" Matt asked. "That way we don't have to worry about finding a parking spot every time we want to go into a casino."

  "No." Traffic moved at a snail's pace to accommodate the pedestrians that filled the streets. Besides, walking would be fun.

  They ate first in a casino that offered a dinner buffet of a hundred and fifty dishes. Then Matt cashed some money and handed Margaret a plastic tub of coins. "Try your luck."

  "I have my own money," Margaret protested.

  "You can use that later," Matt said. "This way if you win the million dollar jackpot, I'm entitled to half."

  Margaret stared at him, glad to see the smile on his face, hear the teasing note in his voice. She had missed both lately.

  They wandered in and out of casinos trying the slot machines and all the games of chance. In one casino, they watched a free circus act; in another they saw white tigers. Half an hour before midnight, Matt surprised her with tickets to a magic show, and when they came out of it, it was three in the morning.

  "Sleepy?" Matt asked.

  Margaret shook her head, looking at the picture a photographer had taken of them before the show. Matt had his arm around her shoulders, and she was laughing up at him. For once, thought Margaret, she looked almost pretty.

  "What do you want to do next?" Matt asked.

  Margaret was like a little child at the circus and her pleasure made the night fun for Matt too. In spite of her excitement she kept asking him what he wanted to do, and her consideration warmed him more than anything else.

  Margaret intended to postpone the end for as long as she could. "I still have some money left. Do you mind if I try my luck at the slot machine once more?"

  "I don't mind, Margaret."

  At four o'clock, Matt looked at his watch and said, "We have to leave now. Come on."

  She followed him outside, and Matt hailed a cab to take them back to the casino they were staying at. Margaret became conscious of the fact her feet and her back hurt.

  To her surprise instead of heading for their room, Matt headed for the car park. "Don't fall asleep on me now," he said as he opened her door for her. "There's one more thing I want to show you."

  Margaret watched in silence as he left the strip and drove north. She stared contentedly at the plastic tub of money in her hands. It didn't matter how much she was left with, the coins really represented the sum total of her happiness.

  Matt had been the perfect companion. He played as diligently as he worked. Margaret knew he would give the same attention to loving. A shiver slipped down her spine as she thought of Matt's warm mouth, heating all it touched to molten lava.

  "We're here."

  Margaret stared out of the windshield as she caught a glimpse of water and a huge dam.

  "Lake Mead," Matt announced as he pulled up in the marina. Opening the trunk of his car, he took out a navy blazer. In the gray light of dawn, they were the only people on the shore.

  "You the bloke who called about the boat last night?" a voice asked grumpily. Margaret looked at the motorboat bobbing in the water, the man in it.

  "I am." Matt handed the man a bill and said, "Sorry to get you up so early. We'll be back in a couple of hours."

  The man looked at the money in his hand and hopped nimbly out of the boat. "Keep her for as long as you want, sir," he trilled, startling Margaret with his sudden change of mood.

  She smiled. As usual, Matt knew the right buttons to punch to make everyone happy.

  Matt placed the blazer around her shoulders and Margaret snuggled into it. She stood beside Matt as he guided the boat out into the middle of the lake.

  "Where are we going?" she asked.

  "You'll see," was all Matt said in reply.

  She watched the sky as a band of pale pink erased the grey. Other hues appeared with each passing moment. Matt stopped the boat and wrapped both his arms around her. Margaret's pulses quick
ened as she leaned back in the cocoon of warmth.

  The sun rose majestically on the horizon. The water took on soft opalescent hues, as it threw off the mantle of the night.

  Margaret gave a small sigh of pleasure.

  The sunrise, Matt's arms around her, the gentle lapping of the water against the boat, the sound of the birds greeting the new day, the taste of excitement in her throat, the scent of pine from Matt's blazer, all combined to fill her with contentment. Life had never been better.

  Margaret knew it was because she had finally recognized one important fact. It was better to love someone than allow the fear of losing those one loved to rule her life. It didn't matter anymore that trucking was an integral part of Matt. It didn't matter that caring meant being vulnerable. She would rather have the love she felt now, come what may, than the emptiness she had lived with all these years. Margaret turned her face up to Matt.

  "I love you Matt," she said softly.

  His arms tightened about her, and then she felt him drop a kiss on the top of her head. She turned toward him. He didn't say anything and some of Margaret's elation faded. She searched his face, and he put a hand up to cup her cheek. "We'll talk when we're not so tired, okay?"

  That sounded reasonable. Only for once she didn't want reasonable. Margaret nodded, feeling suddenly close to tears. Instinct told her Matt had retreated from her because he didn't feel the way she did. Just because she had finally let go of her fears, didn't automatically make him feel the same way.

  The day was just as beautiful as it had been a minute ago, but for Margaret it was as flat as a bottle of wine left opened for too long. She watched quietly as Matt started the motor and turned the boat towards shore.

  They drove back to Vegas in silence. At the door of her room, Matt said, "Sweet dreams, Margaret. I'll come for you at nine thirty."

  Margaret woke up a couple of hours later feeling as good as new. Almost. Looking back, she tried to identify the source of the uneasiness that gnawed at her. Memories flooded into her mind. It had to do with Matt. She had told him she loved him. He hadn't said he loved her. It ought to have been perfect, but the moment had fallen short of the happiness mark. Her admission of love had in some strange way set them back instead of moving them forward.