Finding My Forever

by Michelle,Shevawn

  The preacher started the ceremony and soon it was Braxton’s time to say his vows to his bride.

  “Allie, I’ve never seen anyone but you. From the time we were kids, I always knew I would marry you someday. Today is the day that I get to call you mine for the rest of our lives. You will never go through this life alone. You will never face any situation without me by your side. I will love you through eternity and take care of you until then. As I stand here today, know that you are my home, my heart belongs to you. All of these things I promise you.”

  The preacher then turned to Allie.

  “Braxton, I know it was nothing short of true love that brought us to this point. I will forever be grateful that you saved me. You will always have me by your side, weathering all storms together. During joyous times, I will celebrate with you. I will love you from now through eternity. Standing here today, I give you my entire heart, now and forever.”

  “Do you, Allie Renee Johnson, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

  “I do.”

  “Do you, Braxton Shane Caulder, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

  “I do.”

  “By the power vested in me, in front of God and all of these witnesses, I know pronounce you man and wife. Braxton, you may kiss your bride.”

  Braxton’s hands cupped her cheeks as he brought his mouth to hers, sealing their promises. He kissed her as though he was a starving man, taking in as much as he could. His heart had never been more full than it was in this single moment of time. She leaned into him, grasping at his shirt, wanting more. It wasn’t until the room filled with hooting, hollering, whistles, and claps that they broke apart, smiling at each other. One final kiss to her lips, he took her hand and they faced the audience of friends and family.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Braxton Caulder.”

  The applause and cheers rang out again, the sound echoing off the walls, as they made their way down the aisle. Once through the doors, Braxton grabbed the back of his wife’s neck and brought her lips to his, kissing her soundly. Every piece of her once broken and shattered heart was mended, stitched together by his love. A love that never faltered and never gave up.

  Leaning his forehead against Allie’s, he kissed the tip of her nose, “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Forever and until the end of time, you have me.”

  She sniffled, as he wiped the tears from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs.

  “I love you, too. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I had given up on myself.”

  “I’ll always have you, baby.”

  Pictures had been taken, and the cake cut. The reception was in full swing and people chatted and danced. Braxton felt like he and Allie had hugged and been well wish by everyone in the room, some he was sure even twice. Smiling at his friends, Serenity and Bently had hit it off and hadn’t separated once since the ceremony ended. With them, Katrina and Connor laughed and joked, trying to one up the other. Braxton loved that they all got along together. He wondered if connections were being made right before his eyes.

  Scanning the room, he watched Allie as she crossed the room to her mom and dad. Time froze then restarted in slow motion as Allie stopped, then fell to the floor. He ran to her, checking her over, calling her name, horrified. A puddle of water pooled under her and trickled in all directions around her. His heart sputtered and fear gripped him its clutches.

  “It’s too soon. It’s not time,” he stuttered, panicked and scared. He watched as the water spread further across the floor around her. Someone pulled him back, he didn’t even fight them, too stunned to fully process what this meant, this nightmare unfolding before his eyes. Shane jumped into action, scooping his daughter up into his arms and out the door to Braxton’s truck.

  “Go, son,” Zak demanded and he pushed Braxton in the direction Shane had taken Allie. “I’m right behind you.”

  Braxton was too lost, his brain and his body not connecting. He stood there, not knowing what to do.

  “Give me your keys! I’ll drive.”

  Mindlessly, he handed them over to Zak. When his brain finally registered what was happening, he jumped into gear, climbing into the backseat where Shane was laying Allie across the seat. Braxton held her head in his lap, stroking her hair, praying as they drove to the hospital. She opened her eyes and he breathed a small sigh of relief. He rested his hand lightly on her cheek, trying to calm the fear he could see so plainly in her eyes.

  “We are going to the hospital. Just hang on, baby.”

  He hoped God would have mercy on them as Allie fought to hold on to the life of their unborn child.

  ∞ Chapter 27 ∞

  Braxton ran through the hospital doors carrying Allie in his arms, yelling for help. Two nurses flew into action. They quickly got Allie situated into a wheelchair and rushed her to labor and delivery. She was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and Braxton didn’t know what half of them were for.

  Allie’s cries pulled his attention back to her. She reached out for him and he took her small, cold hand in his.

  “Breathe, baby. I’m right here.”

  “It hurts,” she huffed out.

  “I know, babe. Hang in there for me. Don’t close your eyes, just keep them on me.”

  The doors to the room opened and a team of nurses entered pushing something like a clear box into the corner. Braxton quickly realized it was an incubator and the reality and gravity of the situation that was happening hit him like a ten-ton brick. Ready or not, their baby was going to make an appearance today. He prayed for mercy, guidance, and a safe delivery.

  It was during the third push that everything spun out of control. Allie’s screams pierced his ears. The doctor barked orders and everyone was bustling around the small room. The alarms on the monitors were screeching out warnings. A nurse tried to push Braxton out of the way, but he held his ground, refusing to leave Allie.

  “Sir, I’m going to need you to step back.”

  “I’m not leaving her.”

  “If you want us to help her, you’re going to have to move and let me do my job.”

  Two more nurses joined alongside and took hold of his arms, pulling him backwards. He held on to her hand, desperately trying not to let go.

  “Braxton.”

  It was no more than a gravelly whisper, but he heard her. He looked to her face just as her eyes rolled back into her head and the monitors all hummed out a single, steady beep.

  “Call the code,” the doctor ordered.

  Braxton’s face went pale, all the blood draining away. No, no, no!

  This could not be happening. He stumbled backwards losing his grip on Allie’s hand. Several hands pushed at him, forcing him out of the room as a new team of nurses and doctor’s rushed in, crash cart in tow.

  Stunned, Braxton backed up until his back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor. Terror chilled him to the bone. Tears burned his eyes, welled up, and spilled over. He couldn’t go through this again. He remembered as a child the incredible heartache he felt watching life leave his mother. He’d just witnessed it leave his love, his best friend, his wife.

  Several agonizing minutes passed before the door swung open to her room and Braxton scrambled to get up and out of the way. They rushed past him pushing Allie’s bed as fast as they were able and disappeared around the corner. He tried to go and run after her, but a nurse grabbed his arm, stopping him. He snapped his gaze to the hand holding him back, keeping him from finding the other part of his soul.

  “Braxton?” He nodded in confirmation. “Allie’s placenta detached. She lost a lot of blood. We’re doing everything we can to save her and your son.”

  Braxton’s knees gave out and he slumped over. “Please don’t let them die,” he cried. “I can’t lose them.”

  The nurse slipped her arm under his, tugging lightly to help him stand.

  “Come on, I’ll take you to the waiting area.”
>
  “Our family.”

  “I’ll bring them up after I get you settled. Are they in the main waiting room?”

  “Yes.”

  She led him down the hall in the same direction they had wheeled Allie. His steps were heavy, as was his heart. Fear was engulfing him and he felt extremely weak. He followed her into a small room and she asked him if he needed anything. He shook his head no. Telling him she would go get his family, she paused at the door.

  “You should hear something from the doctor soon.”

  Looking around at his surroundings, he noticed a medium size cross hanging on the wall. He closed his eyes, they felt scratchy behind his lids. He prayed harder and more meaningful than he had ever prayed before. He dropped to knees on the floor in front of the cross, bowing his head.

  Dear God, please don’t take them from me. Please keep her and my son safe. I’m nobody without her. I’ve only had her for such a short time. I know I’m being selfish, but I can’t do this without her. Please, I’m begging you,

  please, let them come back to me.”

  Amy was the first to reach Braxton. She fell to the floor beside him, threw her arms around him and held on tight as she let her tears fall, expelling some of her pain and fear. Other arms came around them and he looked up to see Shane, his dad, Kolby, Hannah, Katrina and Serenity had joined their circle on the floor. Bently and Connor stood directly behind them. They were all there and he was grateful for their presence, their comfort. Every one of them would be irrevocably changed if they lost Allie or the baby. Knowing they should be preparing for that possibility brought another round of tears, until he had shed all he had in him.

  They’d been silently waiting for a few hours with no word from anyone. Time marched on, but their world had come to a standstill. It had almost become too much to bear. Braxton switched from pacing, to sitting, to just standing staring at the wall. Shane and Zak had gone to the cafeteria for coffee and something to eat for the girls. They offered to bring him something back, but there was no way his stomach would handle anything in it as much as it was turning. No one spoke above a whisper.

  Their four friends sat together, all quiet, worried for Allie and the baby. The air had been so thick with worry you could have sliced it into pieces. Amy had been rocking back and forth in the same chair for a while now. Her eyes, red rimmed and swollen, would dry for a while until more tears built up and spilt over. Braxton wished he could ease her pain, comfort her in some way, but he was just as lost, just as desperate to know something.

  Amy worried more than she let on. As a nurse, she had seen a lot come and go through the doors of the hospital. Anna, Braxton’s mother, had been her best friend and when she died from complications of Lupus, Amy knew she wanted to do something to help others. She went back to school, got her nursing degree, and had been working for the last seven years at this very hospital. She had seen cases just like Allie’s and it broke her heart to know what her daughter was going through. It was worse knowing she couldn’t help. There was nothing to do but wait. She hated waiting, the walls felt as though they were closing in on her, sucking all the air out of the room. As much as she hated it, she needed to be strong for the others.

  The door to the small room slowly opened revealing a tired, worn face. The doctor, dressed in surgical scrubs, closed the door behind him. Sliding a chair in front of them, he sank down into it. Collectively, they each held their breath. From the grim look on the doctor’s face their hearts began to sink slowly in their chest. This couldn’t be good.

  “I’m Doctor Jones. Allie’s placenta detached during labor and she lost a lot of blood. She had to be revived, but we were able to get her heart restarted. She was taken to surgery where her uterus was repaired and she was also given three pints of blood. She’s not out of the woods, but for now, we have her stable. She’s in recovery and will be moved in about an hour to ICU for the next several days. We will continue to monitor her closely.” He looked to Braxton, “Congratulations, you have a son.”

  Braxton felt the relief wash over him, moving from the top of his head all the way down to his feet. He leaned back against his chair. His dad gave his shoulder a squeeze and he looked around finding the same relief on each face.

  “Is he okay?”

  “He’s holding his own. He’s only three pounds, but doing fairly well to be this early. He is in the NICU and hooked up to a lot of different machines that are helping him. I want you to be prepared for that when you see him. Like his mother, he’s not in the clear yet and he will be here for a while. You have my word we are doing everything humanly possible for them both. I’ll send the nurse for you when you’re able to see him.”

  The doctor stood and reached his hand out to Braxton. Standing he shook Dr. Jones’ hand and thanked him. He fell to his knees so thankful that his family was going to be okay. Tears of joy touched every face, relief flooded every soul, and love filled every heart. He knew deep down that everything would be all right. His wife and his son were coming home to him. There is not a feeling in the world that could have topped that.

  God had granted his prayer and taken care of the two people he knew he couldn’t live without.

  ∞ Chapter 28 ∞

  The next few days were precarious. Braxton never once left the hospital, sleeping in the waiting room when visiting hours in the ICU and NICU were over. He spent equal amounts of time with his wife and son, going from one floor to the other. Luckily the visiting hours were different for both units, allowing him to see them both throughout the day. He was exhausted and felt as if his body had been put through the most grueling of test. He was determined to see this through, to be with Allie and Zachary until they both could come home. His family and friends had rotated staying with him at the hospital, bringing him changes of clothes and food. Most of the time he was too stressed to eat, his appetite had all but vanished. He would force himself to eat when the others noticed, telling him that he had to keep his strength up for his family.

  He took Allie’s hand in his and watched the monitors as they flashed numbers and graphs on the screen. He didn’t know what all of them were for, but watched them anyways. Allie had been asleep for four days, in what the doctors called a medically induced coma. They were giving her body a chance to heal, or so they said. Braxton waited every day for any movements and he talked to her just in case she could hear him. He wanted her to know he was there, that he hadn’t left her and that he loved her.

  Laying his head back against the chair and closing his eyes, he allowed himself to relax, giving into the weariness he’d been drowning in the past few days. He slept, for how long he didn’t know, but he dreamed of the day they could walk out of this place and return to their lives, this time with their little one in tow. He saw himself sitting with Allie on the porch of their little house back in Tuscaloosa, her hand in his and she squeezed. It felt so real to him.

  His eyes opened as Allie squeezed his hand again. Sitting up quickly he felt a little dizzy from the movement. His eyes trained on her hand still in his.

  “Do it again, baby.”

  And she did.

  It wasn’t a firm squeeze but he felt her hand tighten around his. He pressed the call button for the nurse, she was in the room within seconds. A couple more nurses followed behind her. Braxton stayed in the chair but had to let Allie’s hand go so the nurses would have room. The doctor wasn’t far behind her and he checked her over, calling off her vitals for a nurse to enter into the computer beside the bed.

  Allie’s eyes fluttered and then opened. They were slightly glazed and unfocused, but they were open. Braxton took in a deep breath and he felt like it was the first he’d taken since she arrived in ICU. The doctor reassured her that she was okay and they were taking good care of her. She turned her head toward Braxton and her eyes fixated on him. He spoke softly to her, telling her he was there and he rejoined their hands. She squeezed tighter this time bringing a smile to his face.

  Before the doctor left the
room, he asked Braxton to step outside with him. He followed him out the door, not wanting to leave Allie, but knowing whatever the doctor needed to say, he wanted to do so outside of her earshot.

  “Her vitals look good. We’ll get some bloodwork done to make sure her counts are where they should be. If everything looks good, we can move her to a regular room as soon as tomorrow afternoon. I’ll back the sedatives off between now and tomorrow morning to bring her fully awake. She will be confused, that’s normal. Try not to make her too excited or too anxious, we don’t want to overdo it and go backwards.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Braxton said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Allie didn’t stay awake for long the first few times she opened her eyes, but now she’d been awake for over an hour. Braxton told her what happened and about Zachary.

  “I want to see him,” her voice was still weak and scratchy from the tube she had during surgery.

  “As soon as you get out of here and to a regular room, I’ll talk to the doctor. You need to rest right now. I’m going to see if your mom and dad are back. They need some time with you, they’ve been worried.”

  Allie nodded slightly. Braxton stood and kissed her forehead moving to her lips. It was the balm that his soul needed, a healing power all in itself.

  “Check on Zachary while you’re gone?” She whispered.

  “I’ll even get a picture for you. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Their family and friends were keeping vigil in the waiting room. Amy was sound asleep leaning against Shane and Braxton hated to wake her. He knew she would want to see her daughter.

  “She’s awake. I told her I’d send you guys back to see her.”