A Beginner’s Guide to Murder

by Rosalind Stopps

  He turned to leave the room and Ronnie mouthed at me, ‘Nina, Meg, Nina.’

  I wasn’t as quick as she was. I didn’t realise until he’d left the room and Ronnie explained to me properly.

  ‘There’s only one person on your location thingy, right?’

  I nodded. My ears were still ringing.

  ‘Then he knows,’ Ronnie said. ‘He knows that it’s Nina, he knows where she is.’

  I was still struggling to put two and two together when Grace smashed the window and climbed through.

  ‘Mind the glass,’ I shouted but she seemed to have turned into some kind of superhero. I think she’s had a lot of training from Extinction Rebellion. She pushed the glass out from round the frame and on to the floor of the room and climbed through like someone from a film. Daphne was right behind her and at the same moment, Des came through the door and into the room, holding Fiona by the shoulder and pushing her in front of him.

  ‘Oi,’ Fiona shouted, ‘come here, Pat, Pat, where are you?’

  I rushed to the broken window just in time to see toad hare off down the street in his car, the big black scary one.

  Des produced some string from his pocket, tied Fiona’s hands together and pushed her to a sitting position on the sofa. I rang Henry’s old phone from Des’s phone while Grace rang Clara.

  ‘Nina,’ I said, ‘I want you to stay calm and listen to me. Leave the house now, you and Clara, go out of the back door, out of the gate, turn left and run. It’s OK, we’re coming, you’ll be fine, but do it now.’

  I turned to the others. ‘We need to go, right away, now. Can either of you run?’

  They had taken off out of the door and down the street before I had finished speaking. I ran after them, hitching my skirt up as I ran.

  ‘Des,’ I called over my shoulder, ‘call an ambulance for Ronnie.’

  ‘I’m OK,’ Ronnie said.

  I realised she was running right next to me.

  ‘No,’ I said. I had great difficulty speaking. ‘Stay back, get checked, we’ve got this.’

  ‘Sorry, Meg,’ Ronnie said. I realised that even though she was as thin as a stick, she was able to talk and run at the same time with less effort than me. ‘I want to help, it’s good for me. And besides,’ she said, taking my hand, ‘you need a pace setter, like in the Olympics.’

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Nina

  Friday, 1 March

  Nina wished she could have gone with Daphne and Grace to rescue Meg but she had used up all of her bravery over the last few days and months. Her whole body was rebelling now and she could feel herself shake as if she was very cold. She knew she would be a hindrance, something to drag them down and no help at all. Clara was trying her best, Nina could see that, but she really was one of the last people Nina would have chosen for any kind of emotional support.

  ‘Would you like to play cards?’ Clara asked. ‘I know several games.’ Nina couldn’t think of anything worse.

  ‘No thanks,’ she said.

  ‘Ah,’ said Clara, as if Nina had said something deep and meaningful, ‘I totally get you. Still, it’s not good to be left alone. Maybe you’d like to talk about your favourite colour, or the best toy you had when you were a kid, or something like that.’

  Nina saw that Clara had exhausted the possibilities of her small talk.

  ‘I’m quite tired,’ she said, ‘maybe I could…’ Nina indicated the sofa and although the idea had started as a way to get Clara off her back, as soon as Nina looked at the sofa she realised that she would like very much to lie down.

  ‘No problemo,’ Clara said. She continued to stand to one side of the window, looking out every few seconds and fingering her gun. It was very unrelaxing, Nina thought as she lay down, but it did feel rather safe.

  Nina had almost dropped off to sleep when Clara cleared her throat.

  ‘Nothing amiss,’ Clara said, ‘but I need to walk the perimeter. Check the outside of the house. I’ve got the key, and I’ll lock you in every time I go out, so you’ll be quite safe.’

  ‘I’ll come too,’ Nina said, but Clara explained in no uncertain terms what a bad idea that was.

  Nina didn’t like to tell her how scared she was without her. ‘Fine, OK, no problem,’ she said. She forced her voice to sound normal and not to wobble, even though she was terrified. She was sure that toad would get her again and she knew she would die this time. Even if her body stayed alive, Nina knew that the essential part of her would not survive another minute of being forced to do terrible things. The ladies, though, she had to help them. It was right that Clara needed to go and check. She went, and Nina was left alone. Instantly the house became filled with creaks and groans.

  ‘I’m sorry, Meg,’ Nina whispered to a photo of a young Meg on her wedding day, ‘I should have gone with the others to look for you but I’ll wait for you here, instead.’

  It helped a little, having someone to talk to. Nina looked closely at the photograph. It was the only picture on display, as if after their marriage there was nothing else that needed recording. Meg looked like the saddest bride Nina had ever seen. Her eyes were puffy and her smile looked fake. Nina put the photo down and wandered from room to room putting all the lights on. It was strange, being alone in Meg’s house. Like accidentally looking at someone’s diary.

  Nina looked out of the window instead. Clara seemed to have got into a routine, checking the outside of the house and then all the rooms and windows. She may not have been good company, Nina thought, but it was good to see her marching around. Des came back at one point, and Nina saw him speak quickly to Clara. He mimed at her, holding his thumb up and then shrugging his shoulders in a questioning way. Nina nodded and held her own thumb up to show that she was fine. Des held his hand over his heart and blew her a kiss, and Nina noticed that Clara blew him a kiss too, as he left. It seemed uncharacteristic. Clara went back to her patrolling and Nina wondered whether Clara, too, was moving around out of fear. She certainly seemed preoccupied.

  The time went slowly. Nina went over the possible things that could be happening to her ladies. It was all her fault, the women were only in danger because they had helped her. Nina hoped that their new friends would be able to help. At the very least there would be safety in numbers.

  Nina put the kettle on to make tea. Clara had gone back outside after refusing a cup, saying that she never drank on duty. All the ordinary noises seemed amplified in the night-time kitchen, especially the electric kettle, which roared like a monster. Nina panicked and turned it off. She poured the hot water on to the tea bag even though it wasn’t boiling. Nina felt as though someone was watching her and she wished that Clara would come back in. The house was full of noises and Nina felt her old anxiety and fear of new places. First night with new foster parents, first night in a children’s home. Getting used to everything. Some children panicked but Nina had tried to stay very still and listen. She tried that now. All houses had noises, creaks and sighs, Nina knew that but the noises in this house seemed louder somehow. She looked outside to check that Clara was still there. She switched the lights off and sat in the dark. It seemed more companionable and Nina was suddenly aware that she was so tired. So terribly tired. She curled up in the corner of the sofa and closed her eyes.

  Nina woke to the sound of the phone that Meg had given her. She sat up and tried to orientate herself, knocking the cold tea to the carpet.

  Nina listened while Meg explained that Nina had to go, get out, leave immediately. Apparently they were also telling Clara, who Meg thought was outside. Nina promised that she would, but as she finished the phone call Nina noticed the mess the tea had made on Meg’s pale grey carpet. There was a huge puddle of ginger tea. Nina hadn’t managed to drink any of it before she fell asleep. There was no way she could leave it there for Meg to find. Clara was outside, Nina would have to trust that things would be OK for a moment or two. Meg was house-proud, Nina thought, and she respected that. She would be the same if she ever
got her own home. Looking back later, Nina realised that she had not been functioning at all well, but at the time it seemed so rational.

  ‘Two minutes,’ Nina said aloud as if Meg was in the room. ‘I’ll just get the worst of it up.’

  She blotted and scrubbed but the stain was a stubborn one, and Nina felt more and more terrified. She had just decided to give up and get the hell out when she heard the noise. A tiny scrabbling. As if a few mice were trying to get in the door with a mouse-sized key. It stopped, and then started again. It wasn’t the noise of a creaky house. It wasn’t the noise of the wind. There was nothing ordinary or simple about the noise. It reminded Nina of something but she wasn’t sure what. And there was someone there, she was sure of that. Someone outside the front door, where the mouse sounds were coming from. It was probably Clara, Nina thought.

  ‘Clara,’ she called, ‘Clara, are you there?’

  There was no answer, but Nina thought that she might have heard a little sound. Something like a groan, but that couldn’t be possible. Clara was as solid as a mountain, Nina thought.

  She ran into the kitchen, drying her soapy hands on her jeans as she went. ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ she said quietly, realising how much time she had spent on getting rid of the tea stain. The mouse noise was still there and Nina suddenly knew why it was familiar. Why her legs had known to run at the sound of it before her brain had even worked out what it was. Jason. The boy in the children’s home, with Bilbo. Jason who had wanted to be her boyfriend. Jason was always boasting about his skills as a house burglar, saying that he could get into any house, any time, regardless of what locks or security systems people put in.

  ‘Most times people just use a standard spring lock,’ Nina remembered him saying. ‘Anyone can get in with one of those, just look.’

  Nina had gone outside with Jason and watched as he flexed his school lunch card for a moment before inserting it at the side of the lock, wiggling it about and throwing the door open with a triumphant tadaa.

  That was the noise Nina could hear now. A credit card of some kind moving around in the front door lock, up and down, trying to catch on so that it could be sprung open. She needed to get out, and quickly.

  I’m sorry, Meg, Nina thought, sorry I didn’t listen to you and run straight away. But I’m glad your carpet is OK.

  Nina took the back door key from its hook by the door. She was about to turn it in the lock when she saw a shape in the garden. On the floor in a heap but a shape that could only be a person. Nina knew that it was Clara. She wanted to go and help her, but she was sure it was a trap, and that toad would be out there waiting for her. It would be dangerous to run. Fiona or one or more of the other men, toad’s cronies, were probably waiting just out of sight now for her to run. There was no chance of escape that way. Nina moved away from the door and fled upstairs. Her heart was banging so hard in her ears as she ran that she almost missed the sound of the front door being opened.

  He was in the house, she knew it. Nina ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Meg

  Friday, 1 March

  I couldn’t believe I was running. I hadn’t run since I left school, not even for a bus. I could feel every one of my extra pounds. I listened as I ran and I could hear the violin playing along with Bruce Springsteen singing ‘Born to Run’ on the speaker inside my head. It helped me to go faster. For one or two seconds only I felt something that might have been a rush of adrenalin as I rounded the last corner before home, and I understood why running can be addictive. Maybe there’s a senior citizens’ running club I could join, when this is all over, I thought.

  I pointed my house out to Ronnie. She had kept up well despite her frailty but she looked very unwell now. She staggered the last few yards and then sank to her knees outside the house.

  ‘One minute,’ she gasped.

  I had been so busy running that I didn’t notice that the door to my house was standing open until I was at the gate. Toad’s big black car was outside, the engine still running.

  ‘He’s there,’ Ronnie said. ‘Go, go and find her, I’m OK, just go.’

  I didn’t think she was OK but I left her anyway. I wasn’t happy about leaving her there but I didn’t see that I had any choice if I was going to help Nina. Besides, Ronnie was a fighter and she really wanted me to go on. She made a little movement with her hands to shoo me away inside and I ran. I thought about all the cop shows I’d watched. I knew that a person couldn’t just walk into a house and look around, it had to be much stealthier than that. I had to be thinking, where would he hide? Is he in this room somewhere waiting to jump out on me? I tried to think like he would and get into his head. I moved slowly along the hall, staying close to the left-hand wall. When I got to the living room I threw open the door like I had seen the good guys do on TV. No one there. Just a big, wet, coppery-coloured stain on the carpet, partially covered by tea towels. Blood. I was sure it was blood. It had to be. What else would be spilt there, and hastily cleaned up? Nothing. I was absolutely sure it must be Nina’s blood, and everything went grey for a moment. It was all for nothing. Nina hadn’t managed to escape, in fact she must have gone from being trafficked to being dead, and now there was no hope at all. She had come to us, to me, for help and we had let her down in the worst way possible. We hadn’t just done nothing, we had made things worse. It was unforgivable. I had to find him, toad, the man who had done this. It wasn’t fair, that was the worst thing. It wasn’t fair on Nina and it wasn’t fair on us. We had tried so hard.

  I stopped for a moment in order to get my thoughts straight. I had to do this, and I had to push away the memory of that other time I was on my own in a tricky situation. I closed my ears to the snoring, and to the violin. It wouldn’t help right now. I knew that the others must be around somewhere, but I had no idea where they were or how long it would take them to get here. Every second counted in case Nina was still alive. I couldn’t wait. There was no point wishing the others were there. They weren’t, and I was going to have to manage on my own. It’s difficult, killing a person, and I knew that better than anyone. I had the biggest case of cold feet ever and I thought, surely toad behind bars would be safe enough, although I knew that wasn’t true. This was not a game and part of me wanted him dead, especially now that I was sure that dear girl had been murdered or at least badly hurt. I was glad I had the gun, and gladder still that I’d loaded it. I got it out of my sleeve. I was ready to shoot him, but if by any chance Nina was still alive, I might try to frighten him instead. I had to think that, or I don’t think I could have gone on. I would frighten the living daylights out of him and grab Nina, get her to hospital. If she was dead, that would be a game changer. I’d probably be able to kill him with my own bare hands. Even if I died trying, it would be worth it. Maybe he’d think twice before he did that to any other young women. I thought of poor Ronnie and it didn’t seem to matter much, me dying. Not if I’d done something useful on the way. I was old and expendable, and it felt like the right plan.

  I could hear both Henrys applauding as soon as I’d made a plan. I’d never heard them agree with each other before so I knew I was on the right track, doing the right thing. The only problem was the violin. It was still sawing away gently, still terribly out of tune. First-night nerves, I thought.

  I was sure toad was upstairs. I could feel him up there. It was my house, and I knew its ways. I remembered that other night when it had felt like this, as though upstairs was full somehow, as though the whole house wouldn’t be safe until I had done what I had to do. I should have looked out of the window but I didn’t, I was completely focused on the inside of the house, listening with every part of me. I moved towards the stairs as quietly as I could. Creeping. The third stair from the bottom always creaked, so I avoided it, like I had done that other time. I couldn’t believe how calm I was. I was focused, that was the thing. I had a job to do. I kept thinking the same thing, over and over. Just a little scare, I thoug
ht, maybe that’s what he needs. No hesitation, just a little scare. I have always been able to fool myself. I took a couple of deep breaths at the top of the stairs. I stood up straight, grabbed the gun in both hands and held it out like I’d seen on TV.

  The upstairs of my house is quite straightforward. There’s the bathroom and toilet at the top of the stairs with two bedrooms on one side and one on the other. Three bedrooms altogether.

  ‘I don’t know why we’ve got so many bedrooms,’ Henry used to say, ‘no one’s going to come and stay.’

  They might, I used to think. I might make a friend who needs somewhere to stay, or maybe I could offer one of the bedrooms to a homeless person or a refugee. Or a cousin might turn up who’s traced me on the internet and wants to stay in London for a few days, to meet me. Or I might adopt a child who needs a home. Like someone kindly adopted my little baby, my dear little girl with the bright blue eyes.

  Stop it, Meg, I thought, pull yourself together. You’ve got a job to do. I couldn’t hear either of the Henrys at all. I was just starting to think that I might be wrong, and that maybe it wasn’t toad’s car outside after all, when I heard a laugh. A soft laugh, just a small sound. More like a snigger. It was me he was laughing at and that’s a thing I hate. It isn’t kind, and it isn’t fair. I listened again, and I could tell the noise was coming from the far bedroom, the one to my left. That was my bedroom. I’d changed rooms after Henry died. I didn’t want anything to be the same. I should have sold the house, I guess, moved to somewhere new without memories.

  You didn’t though, did you, Meg? I could hear the old Henry saying. You’re too scared of everything even to do the obvious thing. Anyone else would have moved straight away.

  The laughing stopped for a moment, and I held the gun more tightly. I needed to act. I walked along the hallway as quietly as I could.

  ‘You’re like a big elephant,’ Henry used to say, ‘I can hear you coming from a mile away. No, make that two miles.’