Maharishi & Me

by Susan Shumsky

  Rich facilitated my initial “breakthrough” experience. He first explained the four goals for the session:

  “Inner contact” with divinity would be a loving feeling of deep relaxation, inner peace, comfort, divine love, joy, strength, freedom, confidence, energy, contentment, wholeness, and oneness.

  “Inner name” meant identifying a divine being, deity, ascended master, or inner teacher, such as Holy Spirit, Jesus, Saint Germaine, Mother Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Hashem, Muhammad, or another.

  “Inner signal” was a sign to recognize which divine being was present, like a unique identity badge. It would come in one of six ways: subtle sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, or involuntary body movement.

  “Inner message” was a meaningful communiqué from a divine being through visual (clairvoyance), auditory (clairaudience), or kinesthetic (clairsentience) perception.

  After the explanation, Rich led me into another world, the realm of Spirit. I passed through the portal softly and serenely, as though it were a wisp of air, then floated through downy clouds of exquisite lightness. As I moved through the mist, a magnificent light from afar drew near.

  Then a tremendous burst of blinding light, incomparable in its splendor, radiating warmth and delight, exploded in my forehead, its rays rushing through my bloodstream, permeating every cell. My body shivered with the brilliance of its glory.

  A resplendent light, white, then a shimmering pale blue, encircled my head and spiraled down my body. I trembled with ecstasy. This gentle, enchanting light encompassed my body and filled my field of vision, bringing an indescribable sense of peace.

  Rich asked, “What are you experiencing?”

  “The light,” I replied. “It’s so beautiful.”

  “Holy Spirit,” Rich said, “Please give Susan your signal.”

  My upper body shook. A fair white dove of such radiance soared above me, spreading immense wings, alighting in my inner vision. Glistening, iridescent, and lustrous, this magnificent dove of pure light shone like a million suns, just above my forehead, to my left.

  “I see a great dove,” I said. “Indescribable.”

  “And your body is shaking,” Rich added.

  “I am in ecstasy,” I said.

  Rich said, “Your body shaking, along with the vision of the dove, is your signal for Holy Spirit. You’ll receive that same sign whenever you contact her. Signals are tests that help us identify specific inner teachers.”

  “So each inner name has a signal that goes with it?”

  “Yes, Susan,” Rich said.

  “Does everyone get the same signal for Holy Spirit?”

  “No,” Rich said. “You get your own signal.”

  “Now you’ll get a message. Take a few deep breaths. Holy Spirit, please give Susan your message.”

  My mind melted into a subterranean pool of serenity. I sank to the depths of a fathomless ocean, where nothing existed but profound silence. No sound. No stirring. Wave upon wave of deep rapture drew me in to a singular point of nothingness.

  From the depth of that silent, still point, whose center was nowhere and circumference was everywhere, a faint stir arose in my heart. It whispered with such love and gentleness that my eyes filled with emotion and body trembled with elation.

  I love you, my child, the Voice said.

  Rich said, “Say what it’s telling you. Say it audibly.”

  “It’s saying, “I love you, my child.” I burst out in tears. “I love you, my child.”

  “What else does it say?” Rich asked.

  “I am always here. I shall never leave you. You are my little child. Trust in me. My radiant light and divine love are always with you. Call upon me at any moment and I will appear.”

  “Good, good,” Rich said. “Very good.”

  I entered a new state of awareness never traversed in previous visits to inner space. The feeling of happiness was inexpressible. I wept with joy when I met my “I AM Self,” which spoke words of comfort from my heart. This divine Voice was a loving, tender, “still small Voice” of peace and wisdom.

  At last, I now hear the Voice of God that I’ve sought since childhood.

  The words that poured from my mouth amazed me. Such a blessing! This direct revelation from Spirit, this oracle is the key that unlocks all mysteries and answers all questions.

  I was home at last, home to the hearth I’d sought for lifetimes, to the haven of solace I could turn to anytime. The prodigal daughter returned to partake of the fatted calf. For I was dead but now live again. I was lost but now found.

  Never will I be alone again.

  I met divine beings of radiant light, the Brotherhood of ascended masters and deities. Those beings of glory that dwelled in the magnificent tabernacle of the most high, the Holy of holies—they became my new companions and teachers. From then on, anytime day or night, I could, at will, tear back the veil that shades the resplendent Ark and drink my fill from the Holy Grail, the cup that runneth over with glistening golden liquid—the immortal nectar of unfailing wisdom.

  After this life-changing breakthrough, I meditated with Rich daily. My experiences deepened. I felt I’d received something very precious. Although, without decades of Maharishi’s training, I would not have responded so powerfully.

  Before Rich returned to San Diego, I asked him to record an audiotape so I could practice Divine Revelation daily. I didn’t give up TM and TM-Sidhi Program. But I added this method to my daily practice.

  TM, a highly effective meditation technique, helped me experience the imperishable absolute, satchitananda—the goal of yoga. However, I was missing the direct mystical contact with my higher self and beautiful, celestial light beings that are available whenever we call upon them. Just by asking, now I could receive cascades of divine love, divine light, divine wisdom, divine inspiration, divine healing, and ecstatic divine union. This was a way to see God, feel God, and know God within, as inner divinity, as my own higher self.

  Brad Wagner, an exceedingly scrawny, youthful-looking man with wire-rim glasses, dark hair, thin face, close-set eyes, prominent aquiline nose, tiny mouth, jaw, and chin, and intangible beard growth that barely needed a razor, was a TM teacher I’d met in Switzerland. We became best friends in Fairfield. One night in 1986, we stared at the fire in his cozy house, chatting away, as usual.

  “I just learned this amazing practice from Rich Bell,” I said. “I think it’s what I’ve been looking for all my life—a way to hear God’s Voice. Isn’t that incredible?”

  “Pshaw. I don’t believe that nutcase Rich is capable of giving you any kind of experience like that. Yes it is incredible, as in, ‘not credible.’”

  “No, no, Brad. It’s true. You can’t judge a person from appearances. How can you tell what’s inside?” I pointed at my heart.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Hearing the Voice of God? You mean like Moses, Abraham, or Elijah? The burning bush?”

  “Yes, Brad. Yes. I always knew it was possible. Ever since I was a child. Now I know it is. I’ve done it myself!”

  “You? Hrumph. No one can. No one in this day and age, at least.”

  “Really? You seem to think God is only known by a few prophets who lived thousands of years ago in some faraway land, and wrote that one book. Do you think God only spoke to those men, and since then, God has gone mute?”

  Brad laughed and said, “But those were great prophets, holy men, emissaries of Spirit visiting earth temporarily—not us mere mortals. God can’t be known directly. Everyone knows that. No one can talk with God. No one, that is, except Jesus, Buddha, Guru Dev, and other saintly beings—maybe Maharishi, but I doubt it.”

  I answered, “You obviously think Spirit is far away and unattainable, Brad. You pray to God, yet you think God doesn’t hear your prayers. You assume you’ll never see God until you’re dead. Perhaps not even then.”

  Brad said, “Well it says in the Bhagavad Gita that Arjuna saw a vision of Lord Krishna, but Arjuna was a legendary soul. He wasn’t lik
e us.”

  I replied, “I don’t think Spirit is reserved for a select clique of saints and prophets. God isn’t the property of religious institutions. Those great souls haven’t signed an exclusive contract with God. Ordinary people can hear the divine Voice. I think people like you or me can see God, feel God, and hear God right here, right now.”

  Brad said, “Are you nuts, Susan? People who say they hear God get carted off in straitjackets.”

  “That might be true, but somewhere within every soul is a deep longing to know and realize God. How do you know whether some of these so-called crazy people aren’t actually hearing a divine Voice?”

  Brad replied, “That doesn’t mean it will ever happen to me. I’ve been meditating for nearly twenty years. It hasn’t happened yet.”

  “That’s because we never ask for it. We’re so busy thinking mantras and sutras that we never take time to ask God to appear. The Voice of Spirit is there. All we have to do is ask. Arjuna got the vision because he asked. Actually, he begged for it.”

  “Well you’ve got a point there, Susan. I guess I’ve never asked God to come.”

  “This is real, Brad. I’ve proven it to myself. The ‘still small Voice’ within, the intuitive Voice, is the Voice of God. Rich helped me awaken that.”

  “I don’t know, Susan. If what you’re saying is real, I would be careful. The Yoga Sutras says it’s dangerous to accept invitations from celestial beings and presiding deities.”

  “Yes, it does. Patanjali says powers and pride from associating with celestial beings are distractions to the goal, which is God realization. But how can we attain God realization without experiencing God? Was the vision of Krishna a ‘distraction’ for Arjuna? I really think Patanjali was referring to lower astral beings, which distract people from God realization—faker spirits and other beguiling entities. In my first meditation with Rich, I saw the blue light of Lord Krishna. It couldn’t compare to Arjuna’s vision, but I believe it was real.”

  Brad objected, “But any duality prevents you from the supreme goal of Vedanta, which is advaita, the nondual absolute.”

  “That’s true, Brad. But if you recall, great saints like Ramakrishna Paramahansa, after walking every path and religion, discovered that to attain full realization he had to experience both absolute bliss consciousness and devotion to the Divine Mother. As Maharishi says, there are two aspects of God—the impersonal and personal. TM meditation brings us satchitananda—the impersonal, unmanifest absolute. But it doesn’t bring us the personal God.”

  I paused for a few seconds, and then continued, “I think there is one thing missing from the absolute, Brad.”

  “What’s that, Susan?”

  “Don’t you know what it is?”

  “How could anything be missing from perfect peace, perfect contentment, oneness, wholeness, and completeness?”

  “There is one thing missing, Brad.” I paused and then said, “It’s divine love.”

  “Hmmm. You have a point there. Did you experience divine love in this meditation with Rich?”

  “Yes, I’m experiencing it every day since I learned this new method.”

  “Well, Susan, I’m still skeptical. What does ‘God’ say to you now, if you’re so enlightened?”

  “God says, Spirit says … Let me get quiet and take some deep breaths.” I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. A faint inner Voice grew and took shape. I felt compelled to speak what was given to me.

  25

  LETTING GO OF THE DREAM

  1986 TO 1989

  Do not base your life on the likings and dislikings or whims of others. What you are in life, whether you enjoy or suffer, it is your own responsibility.

  —MAHARISHI MAHESH YOGI

  When Brad asked me for a divine message, I spoke these words:

  “God says, ‘Brad, you are loved. There is so much love around you. Though your heart cries out in loneliness, though you feel your heartfelt dreams have slipped away and will never come to pass—do not despair. You are not a wretched creature. You have not been abandoned. You are worthy to be loved. You deserve love. Trust that you will find the love you seek. You are not alone. For I am with you now and always. I love you with immeasurable love. You are filled with my unfathomable love. I love you always. Be at peace.’”

  Brad suddenly broke down crying.

  My eyes popped open. “Brad, what’s wrong?”

  Brad didn’t answer. He wept.

  In tears, Brad said, “I’ve been flashing on some past-life experiences, painful memories.” He sniffed, removed his glasses, and dried his eyes with his handkerchief. “Whenever I love a woman, she always leaves me.”

  “It’s okay, Brad. I’m here,” I said.

  He crawled onto my lap like a baby. I crouched over him, stroked his head, and held him in my arms. Then I returned to a deep meditative state.

  Suddenly a wave of loving compassion overcame me, along with a strong desire to help Brad. In a flash, light burst forth in my inner eye. A multicolored, multidimensional vision of Babaji’s form appeared in a ball of radiant light. It shone with the splendor of the Milky Way on a high-desert moonless night.

  I imbibed Babaji’s energy, as though I were a conduit or vessel. No longer was I acting or thinking as Susan. Now Babaji was within me, acting through me. My breathing became deep, short, and regular. Mighty healing energies poured through me.

  I saw a vision of the subtle area of Brad’s heart. It was cracked in many places. Babaji’s healing energies began to flow through me into Brad’s heart. As I witnessed this stunning phenomenon, Brad’s heart was knit together and made whole. After it was mended, I imagined smoothing it over softly and gently like coddling a baby. As this healing occurred, I experienced profound bliss. Energy poured through me as the essence of unconditional love, harmony, and rapturous delight.

  What’s most astounding is that, when it was over, Brad described what he experienced—the same vision of Babaji, of Brad’s cracked heart and its healing, exactly as I saw in my inner vision!

  Not long afterward, Brad met the love of his life and married her. He became a direct-response television-advertising infomercials mogul.

  I found Spirit gives us the simplest phrases, but these pregnant words carry tremendous potency at that time for that person. Divinely inspired words lift a person or situation in ways we don’t realize. The power of the inner Voice lies in its simplicity, uncanny spot-on insight, ageless wisdom, humor, and incalculable love.

  The only concern of our inner guru is our spiritual development. Anytime we ask, it guides and heals us, answers any question, solves problems, makes wise decisions, and imparts inspiration, insights, and creative ideas. The inner guru acts like a human guru, with one exception—it has no human failings. Eventually we realize both the human guru and inner guru are manifestations of our own higher self.

  The saint Anandamayi Ma, who never had a physical guru, said, “While some aspirants may depend on outer teaching, why shouldn’t others be able to receive guidance from within, without the aid of the spoken word? Why shouldn’t this be possible, since even the dense veil of human ignorance can be destroyed? In such cases the guru’s teaching has done its work from within.”263

  My experiences with the Divine Revelation methods deepened quickly. Never before had such extraordinary inner visions and wisdom poured from deep within. Many divine teachers, deities, and masters became my inner friends and loving guardians.

  Although I’d spent decades dwelling in the silence of consciousness, I now delved into a joyful realm that added richer tapestry to my experience. I always loved meditation. Divine Revelation just embellished what was already a deeply spiritual life. Now it was time to savor many spheres of spiritual awareness I’d missed on previous journeys to inner space.

  The more I practiced Divine Revelation, the more I wanted to share it. I invited Rich Bell to return to Fairfield and teach classes in my home. A prayer circle formed. Our numbers grew by word of mouth. I
purchased more and more folding chairs to squeeze into my house for gatherings.

  Despite concern that attendees might get into trouble with the TM Executive Board of Governors, we continued the twice-weekly meetings. We knew how profoundly Divine Revelation had transformed us. It was a way to take back our integrity from what we perceived an oppressive organization. We embraced self-empowerment—many of us for the first time.

  As my awareness expanded, I was motivated to practice Divine Revelation daily. Each meditation was supposed to have a theme. For the first year, mine was always “deepening my inner contact.” Thus I developed a profound inner connection. After a year, I began asking questions—rarely. It took time to cultivate the habit of asking and receiving inner guidance.

  I invited Peter Meyer and other ministers from Teaching of Intuitional Metaphysics to teach in Iowa. A being of great humility, Peter spoke sweet, profound messages from Spirit. He reminded me of the Nazarene, expressing simple words, rich with deep meaning. I called Peter “a saint in disguise,” due to his unassuming, gentle personality.

  I was so thrilled with the escalation of positive changes in my life that I was inspired to teach others. I studied with Rich Bell and Peter Meyer for several years and then became Peter’s assistant. My training was mainly by osmosis as we facilitated breakthrough sessions. I observed and learned as we helped people connect with Spirit and receive divine messages.

  I arranged for Peter Meyer to teach a one-month Divine Revelation Teacher Training class in San Diego. Paramahansa Yogananda’s seaside ashram in Encinitas was nearby. Once day fellow student Michael Dennard and I visited the hermitage. Yogananda’s book, Autobiography of a Yogi, had been my introduction to the yogis of the East—and to my inner teacher Babaji.